But he wasn’t fine. Far from it.
A couple of days before Aaron and Kody’s wedding, I received a call from Case Lawton, who was working as a deputy for the Loveless sheriff’s office. Someone who lived next to Aaron and Kody called in a disturbance complaint. When Case got to the house, Aaron was nowhere to be found, the small home they rented was trashed, and Kody was sporting a fat lip and a sprained wrist. Case was pissed at the state his sister was in, and even more pissed my brother was missing and unable to answer for his actions. I was tangled up in an extremely complicated sex trafficking case at the border, so I hadn’t planned on making it home for the wedding as it was. Not that Aaron bothered to invite me. The distance between us felt insurmountable anymore.
Nevertheless I knew there was no way Aaron would hurt Kody if he was in his right mind, so I called in someone to take over my case and went back to Loveless for the first time in years.
I found Kody before I found Aaron.
Seeing her tearstained, pale, horrified face did something to me. All the feelings and emotions I’d learned to deny did their best to burst free. I couldn’t resist pulling her into my arms, and couldn’t stop myself from touching my lips to her forehead and apologizing for not taking better care of my brother…and her. It was the first time in my life I recalled feeling like an absolute failure. It was also the first time Kody touched me, making it a memory seared in my mind forever.
I would also never forget the look of absolute betrayal and utter devastation on Aaron’s face when he suddenly appeared. I let go of Kody like her skin suddenly sprouted thorns and stepped toward my brother.
“It takes her getting hurt for you to give a shit, Hill? What about me? I hurt all the time and you pretend like I don’t exist.” He was gaunt, eyes wild, and far too pale. He was shaking uncontrollably and his arms were covered in thin, white scars. He looked like an alien. He no longer looked like the sullen kid who followed me around, but a man with too many demons to count.
Kody pushed me out of the way and reached for him, pleading, “Aaron, we have to talk about this. You have to let me help you. I love you, but we can’t go on like this.”
My brother lunged for his pretty, blonde fiancée. His hands were curled into claws and I swore if I hadn’t gotten between the two of them, he was going to wrap those shaking hands around Kody’s neck.
I put a hand on the center of Aaron’s too thin chest and pushed him back. I didn’t expect for him to land on his ass, or for him to immediately leap to his feet and bolt for his motorcycle. He’d long since upgraded from the dirt bike to a sporty foreign design that was faster than lightning. He disappeared before I could get my scattered thoughts together. Kody’s hand locked on my arm as she yanked me around to face her.
“You have to find him, Hill. If something happens to him…” She trailed off, head shaking sadly from side to side. “I’ll never forgive myself.”
I nodded absently. I wasn’t going to let anything happen to my little brother and it was high time I forced him to get the help he so obviously needed. I was a pro at pushing my feelings aside and would continue to push them aside so that Aaron and Kody could have the happy-ever-after they’d always dreamed of. Well, as long as Case didn’t murder my brother for roughing Kody up before I got my hands on him.
I made Kody text me a list of places Aaron might go, and asked Case to help me track down anyone he might be close to. But it was almost as if Aaron disappeared into thin air. Kody called every fifteen minutes asking for updates, even though she was turning Loveless upside down trying to find him as well. Eventually, the last place to look was my parents’ house. I couldn’t fathom why Aaron would go to the one place he’d spent so much time trying to escape, but sure enough, his bike was parked out front when I arrived.
It took my mother forever to answer the door and she blinked at me like she didn’t recognize me.
“Hill? What are you doing here? I thought you were skipping the wedding.” She narrowed her eyes at me. “Aaron was devastated when you told him you weren’t coming.”
I highly doubted Aaron had shared anything so personal with her, but the well-aimed barb did sting.
“Is he here?” I maneuvered around her before she could answer me.
“Yes, he is. He showed up a few hours ago. He said he was spending the night here while Kody was at her bachelorette party.” She reached for my arm, but I was already running up the stairs, headed toward the small bedroom Aaron and I shared growing up.
I smelled it before I hit the door.
The coppery, metallic scent of blood. There had to be a lot of it for the smell to be as strong as it was. Freaking out, I kicked the door open and rushed into the room, my heart immediately sinking into my stomach.
Aaron was slumped on the floor, head bent, sitting in a pool of blood. There was an empty bottle of pills on the floor near his legs, and a bloodstained razor blade abandoned on his lap. I had no idea how long he’d been there, but it was long enough for his pallor to turn a faint gray and for his breath to be incredibly shallow and ragged.
Shouting Aaron’s name, I fumbling with my phone to call 9-1-1.
I pulled a pillow off the bed, wrenching the case off so I could wrap it around Aaron’s wrist. I did the same on the other side, barking orders into the phone.
The commotion brought my parents into the room. My mother immediately burst into hysterics, while my father stood stoically.
Refusing to take my focus off my brother, I growled, “Neither one of you bothered to check on him. He showed up out of the blue, looking like a zombie, and you left him alone. How can you be so thoughtless? So careless.” It was a pointless statement. Neither one had ever had the first clue what to do with either of us. Aaron and I had always been bit players in their theatrics.
My heart skipped a beat when Aaron’s eyelids suddenly fluttered. He looked at me through hazy eyes and tried to say my name. Everything inside of me froze and then burst into panicked flames a moment later when he stopped breathing.
Time ceased to exist.
I had no idea how long I sat on the floor of my childhood room after the paramedics left. I stayed there covered in my brother’s blood, crying over everything I’d lost, and agonizing over all the mistakes I’d made.
Eventually I pulled myself together enough to tell my parents I never wanted to see them again, and dragged myself to Aaron and Kody’s so I could tell her what happened.
Only, I didn’t get a chance to get a word out. Kody took one look at the dried blood on my hands and staining my clothes, and collapsed into a boneless heap of grief at my feet. I wanted to comfort her, to tell her we could face this together. No one loved Aaron the way we did. No one understood him the way we did.
Twenty-two years old was way too young to die.
However, as soon as she was able to speak through the tears and violent shakes, she smacked me in the face and told me, “This is all your fault. All he ever wanted was to make you proud. He did everything he could for your time and attention. Why weren’t you here when he needed you the most?” Her voice was almost as cold as mine had been when I spoke to my parents as she told me flatly, “I never want to see you again, Hill Gamble. I hate you.”
I watched her heart break right in front of my eyes. I could also see that she believed I’d let Aaron down. And I didn’t disagree with her.
After the funeral, I silently promised both of us I would stay out of her life and move on with my own, but it was hard. I’d known her since we were kids, I was still close to her brothers…and I still cared about her more than I should. But I did keep our contact to a minimum. It was easier for both of us and eventually, things between us got less hostile. As time went on we matured, learned a little more about ourselves, and a whole lot about bipolar disorder and depression. I buried myself in work and became even more of a chronic bachelor, and Kody, she committed to being even more of a pain in the ass than she already was. She didn’t bother to rein her wildness and every
one in Loveless sort of gave her wide berth. We would never be friends, but we would always be almost-family. I was content with the unspoken truce because even if she only acknowledged me when she had to, at least she stopped pretending like I didn’t exist.
It was my unfortunate luck that fate was determined to have love, death, and Kody Lawton pulling my strings for an eternity. I never wanted to tell her she lost someone else. Never planned on being the guy who continually trampled all over her heart…but here I was, so many years later, getting ready to explain to all the Lawton kids that their father had been murdered. And that I was the one responsible for finding his killer.
Acknowledgments
As always, I owe the biggest thanks to all my readers. If you’re new, or if you’re here after twenty-some books, you will never know how much I appreciate you picking up this book. I know how many choices there are out there, and how limited free time to read can be. So your sharing your time, and your money, with me, it means everything to me. I think you are some of the bravest readers out there, sticking with me. I know you never really know what you’re going to get when you pick up one of my titles, but I hope the surprise and adventure have proven worth the risk time and time again.
Also, here is where I shamelessly ask you to leave a review of this book somewhere, anywhere! Since it’s the start of a new series with a new publisher, your review makes such a huge impact. Save an author’s life…leave a review.
I also want to thank every blogger, reviewer, book pimper, book pusher who’s out there spreading the word. It’s always nice to be part of a group who typically spends their time talking about the books they love. It’s so beautiful, and I know it’s often a thankless job. So here I am, shouting thank you from the rooftops.
Thanks to my kick-ass team, Stacey, KP, Melissa, and my new addition, Lexi. It’s always a little intimidating working with a new editor on a new project, but Lexi made this a breeze. Good thing she doesn’t mind my penchant for writing real jerks with hearts of gold. It’s always fun to work with someone who pushes you to do better. There’s a long, boring business story about how this series ended up in Lexi’s hands, but let’s just say, I’m glad she didn’t let a bunch of unruly skater boys scare her off.
My awesome BETA team didn’t get to tackle this book before it went into editing, but still, they are rad and I missed them a lot during this book…lol.
I need to thank BTS and the Stray Kids, who I listened to nonstop during the twenty days I wrote this book. Thank god for K-pop. It’s fun, upbeat, and the perfect soundtrack to jam out to when you’re under a killer deadline. Plus, the dancing. OMG…show up for the dancing alone.
Huge, mega, gigantic shout-out to my girl Rebecca Yarros. I have no idea how I conned her into writing a book with me for promo for this book, but I did and I love her endlessly for getting on board with my crazy plan. She’s an amazing writer, a great friend, and the world’s best neighbor. I’m so glad she likes me.
Last but not least, I’m sorry, Mike!
I know I was a jerk while I was working on this book but you tolerated my violent mood swings and crap attitude for a month with great aplomb. Thanks for still sticking around! You da best.
If you want to keep up with me these are all the places you can find me on the web. I strongly suggest joining my reader group on Facebook and following me on Bookbub. Those are the best places for updates!
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About the Author
Jay Crownover is the international and multiple New York Times and USA Today best-selling author of the Marked Men Series, the Saints of Denver Series, the Point Series, Breaking Point Series, and the Getaway Series. Her books have been translated into many different languages all around the world. She is a tattooed, crazy-haired Colorado native who lives at the base of the Rockies with her awesome dogs. This is where she can frequently be found enjoying a cold beer and Taco Tuesdays. Jay is a self-declared music snob and outspoken book lover who is always looking for her next adventure, between the pages and on the road.
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Praise for
Justified
“With a red-hot hero and emotional, unforgettable storyline, Crownover delivers the goods.”
—Lori Wilde, New York Times bestselling author
“Off the charts attraction, dramatic suspense, heartbreaking betrayal, deep emotion, and unforgettable romance will keep you turning the pages to the climactic end. Fans and new readers will devour this fantastic story. I couldn’t put it down!”
—Jennifer Ryan, New York Times bestselling author
“Once again, Jay Crownover proves why her words are so addictive! Her characters bleed life so tangibly, you feel like you’re drowning in the emotions: in the best way possible. Five big huge stars for Justified! Don’t miss this page-turner!”
—Harper Sloan, New York Times bestselling author
For a bonus story from another author you may love, please turn the page to read
It’s All About That Cowboy by Carly Bloom.
Chapter One
Jessica Acosta sat alone at Big Verde’s single stoplight, fingers gripping the steering wheel of the bright red Porsche, feeling conspicuous as hell. Her sensible crossover SUV was in the shop for scheduled maintenance, so yesterday she, her eleven-year-old sister, Hope, and her boss, Carmen, had driven all the way from Houston in Carmen’s tiny red attention whore of a car. As if Carmen, with her bright blue hair and multiple piercings and tattoos, needed it.
It had been cramped but fun. They’d jammed to all the girl jams, talked all the girl talk, and squealed all the girl squeals when they’d hit the 130 toll road outside of Seguin with its eighty-five-miles-per-hour speed limit.
Hope had loved it. Like Carmen, she was an adrenaline junkie. Jessica was more of a white-knuckled party pooper. But somebody had to be the grown-up of the trio, and it was usually her.
They’d checked into the Big Verde Motor Inn last night, only to check right back out. Carmen hadn’t liked the way the room smelled. Or the way it looked. She said the duvets had probably never been washed. She looked at a speck of something and insisted it was a bedbug.
Jessica hadn’t been able to detect the smell—or bedbugs—and she knew Carmen’s criticisms were only meant to land them in the nearby Village Château, a fancy hotel with a really great restaurant Carmen was dying to try.
Since Hope had asthma, allergies, and was getting over a cold, Jessica couldn’t risk the chance that Carmen’s delicate nose really had detected mold. So, now they had a suite at the Village Château, where Hope and Carmen were probably living it up in luxury this very moment.
It was just as well. It would be easier for Carmen to entertain Hope there while Jessica was at the funeral.
Jessica looked up and down Main Street. Big Verde was her hometown, but she might as well be a stranger here. She and her mom had left the morning after high school graduation, and she’d never been back.
Until now.
She was here for Mavis Long’s funeral and what she assumed to be a reading of her will. The lawyer hadn’t called it that, but what else could it be? If you could be at my office on Monday at 9:00, we have some items to discuss at the request of Miss Mavis.
It was no surprise to Jessica that Hope would be mentioned in the will. Mavis had promised, an
d she kept her promises. But if word of it got out—and it would—the folks in Big Verde would be extremely surprised. Perplexed. Titillated. Other words that indicated excitement over gossip fodder.
Whispers.
Scandal.
Drama.
Welcome Home!
Jessica shuddered and drummed her fingers on the steering wheel.
Her goal had been to get in and out of the funeral like a ninja, not to roll in like a drag queen firing a glitter bomb. Not that drag queens necessarily drove red Porsches, but both would draw about the same amount of attention in downtown Big Verde, Texas.
She slunk down in her seat. Change, light. Change.
The town hadn’t even had a stoplight when she’d grown up here. And since nobody had driven through the intersection during the approximately eleventy-billion hours she’d been sitting at it, Big Verde still shouldn’t have one.
It had to be broken. And if it was, everybody in town knew it, and they were probably watching through their storefront windows to see how long it would take the stranger—her!—to figure it out.
She tapped the gas pedal in frustration, which resulted in inadvertent engine-revving. A sideways glance at the boutique called Cathy’s Closet confirmed she had drawn some attention. A face peeked through the green shoe polish letters on the window—FE FI FO FUM…KEEP THOSE BADGERS ON THE RUN!—to stare at her.
It was Friday, and the Big Verde Giants would apparently be battling the Smithtown Badgers at the football field later tonight. The band would play, the cheerleaders would cheer, and unless they’d hired a new coach since Jessica’s cheerleading days, the Giants would lose.
Cathy’s Closet was new. Cute clothes in the window. It had been a hardware store back in the day. A woman who was probably Cathy came out to sweep the pristine sidewalk and covertly stare at Jessica.
Justified Page 27
