“I never asked you to give me anything. It’s always been in your nature to want to fix everything, but some things are just broken. It’s the world we live in. If you could fix everything, we would never need Jesus.”
She’d left everything for him and in his mind, he’d believed he had to fix that, to make up for the sacrifice she’d made to be with him. But she’d never asked him to do that and never wanted to be fixed.
“Love isn’t really love without sacrifice, is it? Jesus made the ultimate sacrifice to save our souls. I gave up money and comfort to be with the man I loved and you know what, Collin? It wasn’t even that much of a sacrifice because I never cared about those things. I know I had a lot of growing up to do back then. I confess, it was sort of a culture shock and I wasn’t as enlightened as I liked to believe. It was hard for me to live that way, to struggle. I was spoiled by the life I grew up in, but that wasn’t your fault and it wasn’t something you needed to fix.”
“If I’d been a better provider, the baby—”
“The baby was not your fault, Collin. There was nothing you could have done. It happened. I cried for our loss but it never affected my decision to be with you. Maybe we got married because I was pregnant, but it was always in my plan to be your wife. Always.” She touched his face and stared deeply into his eyes. The pain welling deep inside of him burst and she took him into her arms. How foolish it was that they’d lost so many years because of something as silly as money and pride. But it hadn’t been silly to him. It had been a real struggle that she hadn’t even realized he was having. She’d been so caught up in her own grief that she hadn’t noticed his anguish.
He touched her cheek and the expression on his face stunned her. For years, she’d longed to see him look at her that way again. Attraction. Need. Love. “You are so beautiful,” he told her, his finger stroking her face, sending waves of emotion fluttering through her. “I’ve loved you for my entire life, Rebecca, and, in case I haven’t said it recently, I’m so sorry. I was a fool to ever let you go.”
She stared up into his eyes. Yes, he’d been foolish, but hadn’t they both been? They’d been too young and too inexperienced for the problems that had been thrown at them, but in his arms was where she had always wanted to be. She still did. It didn’t erase the grief she’d suffered at his abandonment, but she was finally ready to put that pain behind her and move forward. She smiled up at him. “Don’t foolish people sometimes learn from their mistakes?”
He breathed in deeply and placed his other hand on her cheek. “I sure have.”
“Then stop talking about it and kiss me.”
She’d spent years dreaming of his kiss, remembering the feel of his lips against hers and the weight of his arms around her, but her memory was a shell of the real thing. She leaned into him and suddenly it was as if they had never been apart.
She never wanted to be anywhere else.
EIGHT
Rebecca checked her hair in the mirror before she went downstairs. She smiled at the thought of seeing Collin. It felt silly to her to get so excited about seeing him at breakfast, but after their kiss last night, she knew she wanted to see him at breakfast every morning for the rest of her life.
She fingered the ring on her necklace. It might not be long until it was back on her finger for good, something she’d only dared to dream about in the years they’d spent apart. Now, her future looked bright again. It was a scary feeling to even hope for something like this with Collin, but it was a good kind of scary and a risk she was willing to take.
“Someone had a good night.”
She spun from the mirror and saw Janice standing in her doorway, a knowing smile on her face.
Rebecca felt her face redden but she pushed aside her embarrassment. She was happy. And it was time. She’d only just existed for too long. A big, silly grin spread across her face and she suddenly felt like a teenager. “I did.”
Janice walked in and closed the door. “Do tell.”
“He kissed me, Jan. Last night, Collin kissed me, and it was exactly like what I remembered, but different. Like a man’s kiss now.”
“I saw this coming.”
“You did?”
She nodded. “When I saw Collin at the hospital that day, I told David later that you two would be back together in no time. You’ve always been in love with him, at least ever since I can remember. That’s why you’ve never dated or gotten married, isn’t it? You never got over him?”
“No, I guess I never did.”
Janice pulled her into a hug. “I’m glad to see you happy again, coz. I’ve always wanted the best for you. That’s why I tried to set you up all those times with friends of David, even though you rejected everyone. Now, I know it wasn’t them.”
“They were all very nice guys, but they—”
“Weren’t Collin Walsh,” Janice said, finishing for her.
Rebecca could only nod. That was exactly the problem. Even if she hadn’t been married, and therefore unable to get serious about any one of the men Janice had tried to fix her up with, not one of them had measured up to Collin. Despite how he’d hurt her, her heart had always belonged to him.
Janice took her arm. “Well, let’s go downstairs to breakfast. I suppose if you’re willing to give this man a second chance, there must be something redeeming about him. I’m willing to try to find it, too.”
“Thanks, Jan.”
“Don’t thank me. I may be willing to suspend my annoyance at the way this man broke your heart, but I doubt your father will be as forgiving.”
Rebecca hurried downstairs, but knew Janice was right. Her father had never approved of Collin, but that hadn’t stopped Rebecca from falling for him twelve years ago, and it wouldn’t stop her now, either.
They entered the dining room to find her father already seated and feeding Matthew, whose high chair was pushed up to the table.
“Uncle Bobby, you didn’t have to feed him. I was going to do that,” Janice told him.
“Nonsense. I’m enjoying the time we’ve been spending together. I’ll be sad to see you two heading back to your house.”
Janice sighed, then sat down and poured herself a glass of orange juice. “I think Matthew has enjoyed it, too, but David will be home this afternoon and I can’t wait to be sleeping back in my own bed.”
“That was once your bed,” her father reminded Janice.
She laughed it off. “You know what I mean, Uncle Bobby.”
Rebecca took a chair and watched the interaction between her dad and Matthew. The baby seemed to bring out the best in her father. She wondered how he would have been with his own grandchild. Would they have spent time together? Gone to ball games? A wave of sadness washed over her. She would never know and she’d accepted that a long time ago. At least, she thought she had, but losing a child had changed her forever and it seemed wrong to keep such grief to herself. She’d hidden it for so many years, kept it tightly inside her for fear of forgetting. But now it struck her as wrong that she’d denied her family from knowing about her baby.
She watched her father now playing with Matthew and for the first time in a long while had hope that there would be other children, his own grandchildren, for him to love. She was glad the cloud of suspicion was gone and she could trust him again. He really was a good man and had been a good father. A little overindulgent, perhaps, but who could blame him for that? She’d had to grow up fast, but that had been her choice, not his, and he’d welcomed her back home without a hint of condemnation for her actions. If she was being truthful, she hadn’t told him about marrying Collin or about the baby partly because she hadn’t wanted to let him down again. But keeping that secret had turned to resentment and bitterness a long time ago. She’d had no one to share her pain and grief and it had erected a wall around her heart.
Her heart jumped as Collin walked into the room. His hair was sti
ll damp from his shower and his smile was as big as hers as he took the chair beside her.
“Good morning,” he said, his eyes locking with Rebecca’s, and she felt herself blush as she remembered the feel of his lips on hers.
“Good morning,” she replied.
“Good grief,” her father said, his tone reflecting his annoyance at this development. “I’m having lunch at the club this afternoon, Rebecca. Why don’t you join me? Mrs. Banks has been wanting to speak with you about the end-of-summer banquet. Remember you promised to help her organize it.” He glanced at Collin. “There’s plenty of security so she should be safe there, but you’re welcome to come, too, if that would make Rebecca feel safer.”
Rebecca smiled, knowing how extending that invitation to Collin had to hurt her father. But she had other plans for the day. “I can’t today, Dad. I have court tomorrow and I can’t miss it so I asked my office to messenger over the case files on the court’s docket. I need to spend the day going through them and preparing my recommendations.”
“I’d be happy to help Mrs. Banks with the banquet,” Janice interjected. She stood and wiped Matthew’s face then picked him up.
“I think Mrs. Banks would like that. Thank you, Janice.”
They got up and left the room, leaving Rebecca alone with Collin. He reached for her hand and kissed it, then leaned over and kissed her, too.
“I don’t think your dad is very happy about what’s happening here.”
“He never was.” She smiled and leaned into him. “But I’m happy.”
“So am I.”
She thought she could live in his eyes but they still had more pressing things than being lovey-dovey all day long.
“So you’re working all day,” he said as he bit into a piece of dry toast.
She nodded. “I have a lot of recommendations to write. You know how important my job is to me. I can’t let these kids down.” She pointed a finger at him. “And don’t you tell me it’s too dangerous for me to go to court because I’m going.”
“I know. It’s okay. I need to call the Realtor back about my mom’s house. He’s left me three voice mails that have gone unanswered.”
She’d nearly forgotten that was why he’d come to town.
“I also want to check in on Dylan.”
“You have things to do and so do I. It’s going to be a long and boring day, isn’t it?”
He smiled and stood before placing a kiss on her lips. “It is, but it’ll be a safe day. I’m glad we’re staying inside for once. I’m going to make my calls. I’ll check on you in a while.”
She watched him walk out and resisted the urge to sigh. She had no right to be this happy when her life was in danger and Missy was still missing. But she was.
She walked into the kitchen and found the box containing her files and a borrowed laptop from one of her colleagues. Janice was there now, too, pouring apple juice into a bottle for Matthew.
“I was just preparing a bag for Lily, our nanny. She’s coming by to pick up Matthew while I go to the club with Uncle Bobby.”
“Thank you for taking over that banquet, Janice. It’s never been something I enjoyed.”
“I’m glad to do it. I enjoy spending time with your dad, although it’s you he really wants to spend time with. I’m his second choice.”
“You’ve never been second choice, Janice. Dad loves having you here and I can see he’s enjoying spending so much time with Matthew.” The bruises on her cousin’s face were a reminder of what she’d endured because of Rebecca, because of her investigation. It pained her to see someone she cared about injured and she couldn’t even think about what might have happened to Matthew if he’d been with her. “I only wish there wasn’t so much bickering. I wish Collin and Dad could get along better.”
“They’re both protecting something they love,” Janice said. “It makes sense. When your father first took me in when I was a kid, I know you and Collin grew exasperated when I wanted to spend time with you, but I looked up to you both. I always thought you were the perfect couple. You were so beautiful and funny, and Collin was handsome and athletic. I thought you were like Romeo and Juliet.”
Rebecca didn’t care for that comparison. “Janice, they killed themselves.”
“I’m not expressing myself well. Rebecca, I love that we’ve grown closer as we’ve both gotten older. You’ve never shared what happened with you and Collin when you ran away together but I remember you were so sad when you returned. You’d lost that carefree light about you. You were never the same afterward. I didn’t understand it then because I thought he loved you so much. How could he leave you that way? It broke my heart, too, to learn he was only after the money.”
Rebecca stopped and turned to her. “What money? What are you talking about?”
“The money your dad paid him to leave you.”
Rebecca sat down, fearful she would shatter as the world seemed to open up and swallow her. What on earth was her cousin talking about? “Wh-what?’
Janice’s eyes widened and she pressed her hand to her mouth. “You didn’t know? I shouldn’t have said anything.” She gathered up Matthew and started to leave but Rebecca met her around the table and stopped her.
“What are you talking about? Collin took money from my father?”
Her face said she didn’t want to tell her so Rebecca knew it was bad. She bounced Matthew on her hip as she stared at Rebecca. “I overheard your parents fighting. Collin phoned your dad wanting money. He said he would disappear and never bother you again if your dad paid him ten thousand dollars.”
Rebecca felt her heart seem to stop and suddenly she had trouble catching her breath. It wasn’t true. It wasn’t true. It wasn’t true. “Ten thousand dollars?” Was that all their relationship, their marriage, their child, had meant to him? Ten thousand dollars?
“It doesn’t seem like much money now but I imagine to a broke young man, it must have seemed like a fortune.”
She grabbed Janice’s arm. “Why were my parents fighting?”
“Your mom didn’t want to pay him a dime but your dad said he would pay any price to get you back.” Matthew fussed in her arms. “I’d better go tend to him.” She reached out to Rebecca’s arm. “I’m sorry. I thought you knew.”
Once she was gone, Rebecca slid back into a chair at the table. She was still dumbfounded by this whole new betrayal. And she couldn’t believe her father had never told her about the money. He could have broken her tie to Collin permanently if he’d wanted. Then why hadn’t he?
Tears sprung to her eyes. She’d never suspected Collin would take money from her father. Never. He’d been the one person in her life who didn’t care about the money. Or so she’d thought. Just yesterday he’d been telling her how he’d struggled to support her. Had it been because he’d been expecting to live off her father while they were married? He’d expected to marry an heiress and ended up with a pauper?
She forced her legs to work and headed for the living room, where Collin was finishing up a call. He turned and smiled when he saw her and her heart broke. Was he after more money now? Had she been wrong about him from the start? She had to know the truth.
He touched her arm and she pulled it away. She couldn’t afford to get sucked back into his charm and strength. No matter how much she wanted to fall into his arms, she couldn’t. She had to remember how he’d betrayed her. For years, she’d blamed herself for his leaving. That she wasn’t good enough. Now, she knew the truth. He’d been hoping to cash in on their relationship.
“What’s wrong?” he asked when she pulled away.
Rebecca spotted her father walking into the room. She didn’t want to do this with an audience, but she couldn’t leave until she knew the truth. Had the two most important men in her life conspired to betray her? She knew why her father would do such a thing. He would have done anything to keep he
r and Collin apart. But why would Collin betray her this way? It was time everything was out in the open.
She turned back to Collin, doing her best to keep her voice flat so the sobs that threatened her wouldn’t break through and turn her into a sniveling mess. “Twelve years ago, did you take money from my father to leave me?”
He looked at her, surprise filling out his expression. “What? What are you talking about?”
“Twelve years ago, after I lost the baby, did you take money from my father to leave me and not return?”
“Baby?” her father gasped from behind her. She ignored him for now. She would deal with him later.
She saw the truth on Collin’s face as his smile vanished and he turned away from her. Her heart broke. Had he denied it, she might have believed it was all a big lie or a misunderstanding. But it was true. It was all true.
“It’s not what you think,” he finally said.
“You took money from my father to leave me. It’s exactly like it sounds.” Her chin quivered and tears pooled in her eyes but she choked them back. She couldn’t fall apart now. “Is that why you married me? Because you wanted the money?”
Her father gasped again. “Married you? Rebecca, what did you do?”
Again, she ignored his question.
Collin stepped toward her. “No, Rebecca, it wasn’t like that.” He reached for her arms and she jerked them away.
“I thought you were different, Collin. I thought you didn’t care about any of this.”
“I only cared about you. After we lost the baby, I got so scared. I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t function. I realized I couldn’t care for you and there were all these bills to pay. People wanting their money. I didn’t want to lose you, but I convinced myself you would be better off without me. I called your father and he came and took you home.”
“It’s bad enough you left me but you took money to do it?”
“The money was for the hospital bills. For the baby.”
Risky Return (Covert Operatives Book 3) Page 13
