Defend Me
A Frazier Falls Novel
Kelly Collins
Copyright © 2020 by Kelly Collins
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
Cover design by Victoria Cooper Art
Contents
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Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Thank you for reading.
A Sneak Peek into A Tablespoon of Temptation
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To every person who has heard mean words and believed them.
The wounds we suffer as children hide in our hearts and surface when we least expect it. It’s a whisper from your inner child who is still waiting to be defended. Take your younger self in your arms and tell him or her that it’s okay to be you.
I would rather be a little nobody, than to be an evil somebody.
Abraham Lincoln
Chapter One
Paxton
There’s a reason we’re born with two ears and one mouth. We’re supposed to listen more than we talk. If there was one thing I knew with absolute certainty, it was that I learned a whole lot more about what was going on around me if I kept quiet and paid attention.
“Paxton, do you want the usual?” Alice breezed toward me, pad in hand, and a pen sticking out of her poof of hair.
I’d commandeered my brother’s booth for the moment, knowing he wasn’t going to show up. “Yes, coffee and apple pie, please.”
“Coming up.” She leaned a hip on the chipped Formica table. “Where are those brothers of yours?”
“Not here.”
“Obviously.” Alice popped me on the head with her pad and walked away.
My brothers were at Reilly’s waiting for me. That’s what I wanted to believe, but the reality was they’d be at Reilly’s with their significant others and not notice my absence. Their pairing up would leave me the fifth wheel or worse, Rich’s date, which was always awkward because he wasn’t my type.
As the youngest brother of the three Coopers, I didn’t need to say much, but razzing Alice was a requirement. She was like family and exempt from my silence.
I turned my ears to the chatter surrounding me. Growing up, I enjoyed listening to other people. In most circumstances, someone would always say what I’d been thinking, saving me from voicing my opinion. What was the point of repeating what everyone already knew?
Several people in the diner were discussing my brother Owen and Carla. Their wedding was fast approaching and was the talk of the town. Nothing quite as exciting had happened in Frazier Falls since the avalanche in ninety-seven—eighteen ninety-seven.
The knitting club was crammed into the corner booth betting on the type of flowers they’d have and whether Carl would wear white.
“She’s no virgin,” Isabel Walker shouted a bit too loudly, which drew the stares of many. She dropped her knitting needles and shook her head.
“Hell, these days, kids are born with experience.” Scarlet Lewellen pulled out another ball of yarn and continued her work on what looked like a pair of baby booties. “Miriam’s granddaughter is a baby having a baby, and she marched to the altar eight months along and dressed in white.”
Wanda Kraft looked over her shoulder at me. “There’s one left. Who do you think Paxton will end up with?”
My mouth dropped open. They were talking about me.
“Maybe he’ll meet his match at the ceremony.”
The entire group turned toward me, and, one by one, they raised their hands and waved.
“Maybe he’ll catch the garter, which would mean he’d be next.”
I shook my head and made a mental note to avoid the garter at all costs.
“Here you go.” Alice slid a plate of pie and a coffee on the table. I swear she always gave me a double portion.
“It’s too bad you’re taken, Alice. A woman who can make pie like you might be able to enter my heart.”
Down came the order pad on my head again. “She’s out there waiting for you, Pax. Never say never.”
“Never,” I said before I shoved my mouth full of pie.
“Someone, someday, will earn their place in your warm, smooshy heart. You’re a Teddy bear destined to be hugged and cherished. If you weren’t so busy catering to all the widows in town, you might have time to find a woman for yourself.”
“I love those cougars.” There was nothing going on between me and the senior residents of Frazier Falls. I liked to be helpful and found my niche assisting the older folks of my little town.
“Between work and Lucy Rogers, you may never find a mate. Although, there’s a table of interesting women giving you a look over now.” We both glanced at the knitters in the corner.
“Not looking for one.” I loved the term she used because while I liked the mating part, I wasn’t that good at all the rest.
Alice trotted off in her red high-top sneakers, while I reflected on my existence. I enjoyed working with my brothers. Cooper Construction was a successful business, and with Owen’s Green House project taking off, we were beginning to garner an excellent reputation across the globe. It was rewarding to do good work and be recognized as an industry leader in green living. Though Owen was the one who designed his eco-friendly houses, I was the one responsible for much of the building of them and the running of the company.
It had always worked well. Owen was the architect, and Eli was the numbers guy. Then, when we got on-site, the responsibility fell to me to ensure the actual construction work got done.
It was the way I liked it. Good, honest, physically hard work left my mind free to wander. It also meant that I never had to take work home like my brothers. My free time was filled by helping others with tasks they couldn’t always do themselves. I didn’t know when or why I’d started doing this, but it filled me with a deep sense of satisfaction that I didn’t get from anything else.
Alice’s comment about helping others taking up too much of my time was dead wrong. It was actually a time saver. Because I wouldn’t accept compensation, everyone showed their appreciation with homemade food. I might starve if not for Lucy Rogers, Judy Flanagan, and a half dozen others who cooked me casseroles and roasts and baked goods in large quantities.
I finished my pie and laid down a ten to pay before I walked out and headed to the bar to meet my brothers for a beer.
I no sooner walked inside when John Reilly handed me a Tupperware container. “Thank you again for all your help over the winter with the restocking,” He nodded toward my brothers and Emily, who sat at the end of the bar. “They’re only a half a pint ahead of you.”
“I’m a coffee and a piece of pie ahead
of them.”
“Smart man. Eat before you drink.”
I looked down at the gift of food from John. “Irish stew?”
“Yes, with extra carrots just the way you like it.”
“You’re the best.” I tucked the container under my arm and moved toward the group. Carla and her brother Rich hadn’t arrived yet.
I glanced at Eli. “I’ve got Irish stew if you want to join me after our beer.”
My brother shook his head and wrapped his arm around his girlfriend’s shoulder. “Emily and I already have plans.”
“I know what that means,” Owen laughed. “They’re going to indulge in a different appetite.”
“I’m not discussing my sex life with you,” Eli muttered. He turned to me before adding, “I’m happy to take that off your hands, though. I’m sure you’ve got plenty of similar dishes filling your refrigerator and freezer.” Eli looked at Emily. “We’ll have to come up for air and forage for food at some point.”
She gave him a solid slug in the arm. “You said you weren’t talking about our sex life.”
A smile curled my lips. “Nope, I’ll have no problem eating it on my own. Reilly’s Irish stew is amazing.”
“You pig,” Eli called out.
I shrugged my shoulders, indifferent to the insult.
Owen looked at me. “Mind if I steal some for Carla and me?”
“I’ll bring it over to your place, and we can share the meal,” I said.
Eli pouted. “Why share with him?”
“Because he didn’t call me a pig.”
“Nope, not out loud anyway,” Owen chimed in as Carla and her brother Rich walked into the bar. “That wasn’t an invite to join us; it was a request for food.”
I slapped a hand over my heart. “I’m wounded.”
Carla kissed Owen’s cheek as he handed her a beer.
“Pax offered to bring us his dinner. Irish stew, compliments of John.”
She looked at the container and me. “Can I take the stew and pass on the visit? I love you brother-to-be, but I’ve got plans for Owen, and they don’t call for a chaperone.”
“Geez, I swear you’re going to wear yourselves out before the honeymoon.” I looked from Owen and Carla to Eli and Emily, trying to make a point. “See what happens when you set a date? It’s like a race to the finish and once you’re married—”
Emily broke in. “That’s why Eli and I have no intention of getting married any time soon. We need lots of practice.”
Eli looked at her, “Now who’s talking?” He gave me a tap. “I’d say get a girlfriend, so you’re not so lonely, but I fear that would be an impossible task.”
“Rude.” It was true, though. I had dated women in the past, but I’d never had a serious girlfriend before. I didn’t want one. Women were … complicated. Often chatty and I wasn’t good with expressing my emotions. I didn’t say any of this to my present company because I knew that both Emily and Carla would pull my ear for hours explaining the benefits of a girlfriend.
“Pax, get your head back in the conversation,” Owen said.
“I was never out of it.” I pointed to the group. “Don’t forget your roles. You’re the talkers; I’m the listener. Want to quiz me? I can repeat anything you’ve ever told me. Can’t answer to the things you haven’t.”
By their expressions, they knew I was referring to Owen’s panic attacks. Particularly the one he had at the architectural exhibit where I discovered that Eli had known about Owen’s anxiety problems for years, and I’d been kept in the dark.
Before that, I’d assumed we never spoke about such things because there was nothing to talk about. Now I knew we were all idiots who probably needed to open up to each other more often. “You want a word-by-word retelling?” They knew I could do it. Eli scowled, while the rest of the group laughed.
“Did you have a look at the plans I sent you for the wedding venue?” Owen abruptly changed the topic of conversation.
I suppressed a scowl. “Yes.”
“And …?”
“And that’s a hell of a lot of work you want me to do.”
“Come on,” Owen protested. “You’re the only person I know who could build what we need as quickly as we need it.”
“No, I’m the only one you know of who will do it for free.”
“May as well keep it in the family, right?”
I sighed with resignation.
“You already knew I’d do it, so don’t act as if you were giving me a choice.”
Carla squealed with delight as she hugged me. “Thanks, Pax. You’re a lifesaver.”
“Building it on top of the creek will be complicated,” I warned. “The design is more elaborate than it needs to be. Simple and sturdy will keep you all dry.”
Owen laughed. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
The rest of the evening passed by in an easy conversation that I was happy to listen to. Aside from a sarcastic comment here and there, I had no need to speak up, which sat perfectly in my lane.
As I leaned back and watched my brothers, I thought about how complicated their lives had become. What used to be a Friday night beer with siblings was now a coordinating of schedules nightmare. We also used to talk about chicks, but now the only topic of conversation was flower choices, types of cake, and tuxedo fittings.
I would happily live my life without those problems.
I left the bar alone, knowing that single was spectacular—or at least that was my story and I was sticking to it.
Chapter Two
Rose
“You think he’s gonna ask you, Rose? Gonna ask you to move in with him?”
“What else can it be? We’ve been dating for over a year now—it’s about time.”
Nicolas let out a noise of excitement, wringing his hands in expectation as we made our way down to the graphics department of Flair, the fashion magazine for which we were both working as editors. “I can’t believe it’s finally happening. And that penthouse of his is … wow. It’s out of an interior designer’s dream.”
“I know, right?” I babbled back, feeling immensely proud of the fact I had managed to find a man with an innate sense of style for both his home and his clothes. Not to mention that James Rivers, the man in question, was absolutely loaded. Not that his money was what had attracted me to him in the first place, but still … it certainly didn’t make him any less appealing.
“Where’s he taking you tonight? Oh my God, Sandra, this is all wrong,” Nick suddenly bit out in response to the proofs given to him for inspection by his assistant. “What’s up with the focal point? You know that Franco will destroy you if it isn’t off-center. We needed these photos almost two hours ago, and now they’ll take even longer.”
“I’m sorry, Nick, we have a newbie who made a mistake,” Sandra apologized. “We’ll get it fixed as soon as possible.”
Nick was unhappy. “You put a newbie on something this important? What were you thinking?”
“We’re understaffed right now. Dan and Rach are off with the flu, and Denise is on vacation.”
“Argh, fine. Prioritize getting them fixed before the end of the day.”
Visibly relieved, Sandra said, “Thanks, Nick,” before running off.
“You could afford to cut her a little slack, you know,” I said to him quietly as we exited the building, heading toward our local Starbucks. “You already knew damn well that the design department is understaffed right now.”
“Exactly why there is no slack to be had. This month’s edition will be late otherwise.”
My breath released quick and loud like a balloon just popped. “I guess so. I must admit it’s pretty funny how many people are scared of you when you’re younger than most of them.”
Nicolas was only twenty-eight—three years younger than me—but he had proven himself to be indispensable to Flair Magazine. I had no doubt he’d end up heading the editorial department by the time he hit thirty.
I had no interest in being the
editorial head. I was happy with the simultaneous freedom and responsibility that came with being one of the three senior editors for the magazine. People respected me. They valued my opinion. But I didn’t have to spend too much time dealing with arduous pencil-pushing and pointless sweet-talking, instead, getting to dedicate all my time to what I loved best—fashion.
I didn’t think I’d gotten a full eight hours of sleep in any given night for at least five years, and there were definitely outfits in my wardrobe that deserved to be burned to a fine ash, but for the most part, I loved my high-flying job in New York City. Sure, it could be stressful, especially when a deadline was coming up, but it was also exciting and addictive. I loved the parties, the dresses, the champagne. I loved the photoshoot locations and choosing the glossy centerfolds beloved by our readers.
And I loved the people I met through my job … most of all, my current boyfriend. Hopefully, after tonight, we’d become something a little more serious. I had never seen myself as the marrying type, but that idea had gone out the window the moment I met James. Our wedding would be the kind of thing that would ignite the fires of jealousy in the hearts of all women.
I thought of getting to choose the dress, the venue, the décor, the alcohol … it would be divine. I’d be able to invite all of my old school friends from Frazier Falls and watch their expressions of disbelief at how successful I’d become in a town that swallowed its inhabitants by the thousands daily. How many dreamers had come to New York only to leave destroyed?
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