by Ward Wagher
“That’s a nightmare,” Foxworth said. “I’ve seen your dad angry. It scared me to death.”
“Now you’re getting what I mean. He grew up in a family of drunks. Even Uncle Jack could tie one on every once in a while. Dad purely hated seeing what that did to people. I don't think I've ever seen him take a drink.”
Louie skittered over to them. “A good meeting today Mr. Earl.”
“I thought it was.”
“Talking about your hotel, Joe?” Foxworth said.
“I think it will be Bridgitte’s hotel,” he said. “Louie is suggesting another Woogie to run it and also suggested whoever runs it would better be the majority owner.”
“You agree with this, Franklin?” Foxworth asked.
“Makes a lot of sense to me, Sir.”
“Glenn,” he corrected.
“Glenn.” Franklin repeated. “We were going to talk to you about your investment in the syndicate.”
“How much are we talking about?”
“We were thinking maybe a half-million. Either from the Duke or the duchy.”
“Investment good,” said Louie. “Grow business.”
Foxworth scratched his head. “I really don’t have a half million in the treasury. We still haven’t figured out how we are going to support another little item. Would you perhaps allow me to come in personally for a quarter mil? I could probably talk Carlo into the same amount. I’d want to look at a prospectus, of course.”
Wilson shrugged. “I’m happy either way. The sooner we can pull the financing together, the sooner I can generate some revenue.”
“I hear ya,” Foxworth said. “Tell me about Bridgitte, Louie.”
“Friend. Business associate. Has gift for money. What are you drinking, Mr. Franklin?”
“It’s called a Strawberry Sling,”
“Like to try. Like strawberries.”
“Are you sure you want to try this?”
“The Woogie wants to try.”
“Ooookay,” Franklin said. He looked around the room and caught the eye of one of the servers and raised his hand.
“Yes, Margrave?”
“A Strawberry Sling for my friend here.” He turned to Louie. “I hope you are still my friend after tonight.”
Louie flooped, “Always friend.”
The server weaved his way through the crowded living room holding a tall glass on a tray. Louie spun around following the server’s progress with his large blue eye.
“Can you handle a glass like that, Louie?”
“No prob.”
Franklin raised an eyebrow.
“Where does he pick up this stuff?” Foxworth said.
“No telling. These creatures are always surprising me.”
“Louie’s a sharp operator. That’s for sure.”
“I think all Woogies are.” Franklin said.
“That’s good, I think,” Wilson said.
The Woogie reached out with a tentacle / arm / ? and lifted the glass off the tray. He set it on the floor, then in a mystifying feat, raised himself up on his walking appendages / legs and scrunched back down over it. The next sound was like that of a child sipping the last of his soft drink through a straw. Wilson’s cheek twitched and he turned away.
“Not seen that before, Joe?” Franklin said.
“Yes, I have. And, it bothers me every time.”
“The Woogie likes,” Louie announced. He somehow extracted the glass and handed it to the startled server. “Another. Please.”
The server looked questioningly at Foxworth, who nodded.
“A moment, Sir, and I’ll have another one for you.”
Foxworth looked up across the room, and then waved his arm. Franklin and Wilson looked up to see who he was beckoning to. A tall, statuesque brunette began making her way across the room.
“It’s Honor Hawthorne,” Franklin said suddenly. “You know, from the vid drama. What is she doing here? Do you know her?”
Foxworth laughed. “No, it’s not Stacia Cummings; it’s my daughter Signe.”
“She looks just like the vid star. You’d think they were twins,” Franklin said.
“Everybody says that.”
Signe Foxworth was tall, easily six feet in height. While not overweight, she definitely was full figured. But she moved gracefully in spite of her size. The other guests unconsciously moved aside as she worked her way across the room to her father. She leaned over to kiss Glenn on the cheek, then turned to the other men.
“Signe, allow me to introduce Franklin Nyman, Margrave Montora and Joe Wilson, Earl Paravel. Gentlemen, my daughter Signe.”
“Pleased to meet you,” Wilson said.
“The same,” Franklin said as he took her hand. He then looked into her dark brown eyes and could not look away.
Faintly, in the background, he heard Foxworth continue speaking. “Signe just finished her MBA and is taking a vacation with us.”
Then another slurping sound intruded.
“Another Strawberry Sling.”
Franklin broke his gaze away from Signe Foxworth. “Louie, I’m not sure how alcohol affects you. You might want to slow down.”
The Woogie made a sound like a large air bubble gurgling up through a deep swamp. “Not to fear. The Woogies are here. Not to sing, but to have another Strawberry Sling.”
Franklin looked over at Foxworth with eyes opened slightly. “I’m open to suggestions, Glenn.”
“Louie’s a big boy. He can take care of himself.”
An aroma of vanilla wafted through the room. Franklin leaned over closer to the Prime Minister.
“Did that smell come from Louie?”
Foxworth shrugged. “He’s the only chemical factory here tonight.”
Franklin turned back to Signe. “So how long are you planning to be in Cambridge?”
“I don’t know at this point. The political situation with the League means that not many people are hiring. I may be here for a while.”
Franklin was captivated by her deep contralto. She even sounded like Stacia Cummings, who starred as Honor Hawthorne, Captain of the League Navy. He watched the vids more than he was willing to admit.
“Maybe you can find time to take a tour of Montora Village.”
“Thank you, Margrave. I would like to see as much of the planet as possible while I am here.”
“Please, call me Franklin.”
Behind him he heard a sound like a plunger being rapidly worked in a commode. He turned in time to see about a gallon of an ochre colored liquid splash onto the floor from underneath Louie.
“Uh, oh,” the Woogie said. “Uh, oh. Major accident.”
Louie started moving towards the door trailing dribbles of the liquid, but seemed to be listing to one side. The room grew quiet as everyone turned to observe his progress.
“Uh, oh. Major accident. So sorry. The Woogie is sorry.”
There was a loud slam as he hit the door jam on the way out of the room. He then bounced off the wall in the hallway and headed for the front door.
“Major accident. Woogie hosed.” His voice synth box could be heard as he left the house.
Monica materialized in the crowd, and stood there with her hands on her hips. “Bunny, what have you done to my Woogie?”
Foxworth stared at her and was speechless.
“I have never seen a Woogie get wasted before.” Signe snickered.
And the party was pretty much over for the evening.
chapter five
“I just want you to know I am in durance vile,” Glenn Foxworth said. “And it’s all your fault, buddy.”
“Because Louie barfed, or whatever it was, all over your living room carpet?” Franklin Nyman said.
“No, because Monica thinks I let him make himself sick on the booze. He’s still hiding in his office and won’t come out when she’s at the hotel.”
“Well, you didn’t try to stop him. He’s a big boy I think you said.”
“You didn’t try to stop him ei
ther, Franklin.”
“Yes, I did too. But, as you said, Glenn, he’s a big boy. If he chooses to humiliate himself in front of his business associates, it’s his own fault. I would never try to cheat him, but I can’t play nursemaid either. Monica’s probably just mad because she had to clean up the mess.”
“Like heck. I had to clean it up. I nearly puked myself several times before I got done. And quit laughing. I heard about your water balloon trebuchet and if I could have figured out a way to get that orange crap into a balloon I would have flown over and dropped it on your toy castle!”
Franklin laughed all the harder.
“It’s not funny!”
“What, Monica making you sleep on the sofa?”
“No. She just gives me that sorrowful look she keeps in reserve for when I have deeply disappointed her. And then she won’t let me drown myself in drink to compensate. I’m telling you, Franklin, my life is difficult right now. And quit laughing! You’re worse than my daughter.”
“She thinks this is funny too?”
“She’s been giggling about it all week.”
“What, Louie’s accident or your cleanup job or Monica’s reaction.”
“Everything. Don’t ever have daughters, Franklin. First they wrap you around their little fingers, then proceed to laugh at everything you do. I mean, they leave you completely helpless.”
“I’ll keep that in mind, but it’s not something on my immediate agenda right now.”
“A great attitude to have, my friend.”
“Do as I say, huh?”
“Right. Some day you’ll understand.”
The two men sat in the Prime Minister’s office sipping iced tea. Foxworth was leaning back in his chair with his feet resting on a pulled-out drawer. Franklin was slumped nearly supinely in a chair across the desk.
“So, any ideas on how to support the destroyer?” Foxworth asked.
Franklin shook his head. “No, I keep coming up dry. I had Daphne run some estimates on the planetary economy. There is actually not enough free cash on Hepplewhite in the demand accounts to support the destroyer, even considering who the money belongs to.”
“I sort of had that feeling. Carlo’s monthly stipend to the duchy sinks into Cambridge like a bucket of water in sand. Even if I used all of it towards supporting the ship, there is not enough money to cover it.”
“Is Carlo at the leave me alone stage yet?”
Foxworth leaned back further and put his hands behind his head. “Not really. He always responds promptly to my notes. I don’t bother him unnecessarily, though. He has a lot on his plate.”
“From the news reports I’ve seen recently, the Centaurans are having more problems pacifying Festalborg than anyone expected. That surely buys Earth and the League more time.”
Foxworth grimaced. “Don’t bet on it. Centaurus is, what, five light-years from Earth. They could spit out their back window and hit Earth. They could jump over and snap it up in an afternoon. Heck, Tau Ceti is only eleven light years from Earth. Nobody wants to destroy any infrastructure and so far, the Centaurans have been able to bluff with impunity.”
“As you said, nobody really wants a shooting war. The thought of dropping a rock on an inhabited planet is sobering.” Franklin used a finger to doodle on the condensation on his glass. “I can’t understand why they are so hell-bent on conquering everything.”
“It’s their religion or something, Franklin. They think it’s their manifest destiny to create the Empire of Man. It’s pretty hard to stop the Alpha Male when he has the glint of inevitability in his eye.”
“Silly title for their leader if you ask me,” Franklin said.
“I didn’t ask. But, I laugh every time I hear someone use the title Alpha Male seriously. Not very diplomatic of me. It would disappoint Carlo.”
“Come on, Glenn. I really don't much care what Carlo thinks. Everybody walks on eggshells whenever his name comes up.”
“You need to show some respect. He has a lot to worry about.”
“Yeah, well, I just get tired of everyone talking about the fall of the League and Earth as just a matter of time. The Centauran political system has got to be fragile. It’s just too weird.”
“It’s held up for over half a millenium, Franklin. That sounds like stability to me.”
“Okay, Glenn, but back to the subject at hand: how do we pay for the ship?”
“Has Joe Wilson suggested anything?”
“Just that we get Carlo to pay for it. This should be pocket change for him.”
“He’s probably right, but I certainly am not going to say something like that to Carlo.”
“I thought you and Carlo had a mano a mano relationship. You know, say anything you want.”
“There are limits to love, Franklin.”
“Let’s not go down that path, Glenn. The mind-pictures are just too disgusting.
Foxworth laughed and made an obscene gesture in Franklin's direction.
“Yeah, and the horse you rode in on,” Franklin said.
“Back to the subject at hand. Can we count on any help from Joe Wilson?”
“Joe’s finances are probably even shakier than yours,” Franklin said. “You and I are starting to get some tourist income. He’s not getting jack. Oh, and I put a note to Dad on the last outgoing packet. He’s usually good for an idea or two.”
“Do you think the Colonel will have any ideas?” Foxworth asked.
“I don’t know. Boodles was going to ask. But Otto is nearly as broke as everyone here is. The Elector of New Prussia really screwed him over. The margins are pretty thin for mercenaries anyway.”
“Why do people do things like that to others?”
“I don’t know. Father Riggs, our village priest tells me people are naturally evil. I’m tempted to believe him.”
“I was impressed with him when he officiated your mother’s funeral. Got a good head on his shoulders.”
Franklin pushed himself upright in his chair. “That he does. His efforts to convert me get a little old, however.”
“I guess considering what he contributes to the village, you could put up with a lot.”
“I keep telling myself that.”
# # #
“Why not just open a mine?” Franklin asked. “There’s probably enough in gold and jewels underneath here to buy a small fleet.”
“A very small fleet, but you have a point,” Eden Prary rumbled. The big man was slouched on the sofa in Franklin’s office. Eden had worked for Jack Nyman when he was Margrave, and continued with Frank after Jack's death.
Daphne leaned against the door jam with her arms folded against her chest. “Yes, let's rape the land and destroy the river. What could possibly be wrong with that?”
“If we don’t use it, sooner or later word will get out and we’ll have pirates swarming in here,” Prary rumbled.
“I doubt that,” Franklin said as he leaned back in his chair behind the desk. “A pirate will not want to do any more work than absolutely necessary. Digging this stuff out of the ground is a long term proposition. No, it's all the good upstanding citizens of Montora and Cambridge who will come in like a tidal wave. We need to develop it ourselves.”
Prary considered some more. “But don’t you think the pirates will assume the people of the village have already been doing that and they’ll tear the place apart looking for loot?”
Franklin grew thoughtful. “I hate to admit it, Eden, but you have a point there.”
“So we just go ahead and destroy the valley because somebody else will do it anyway?” Daphne said.
“No, no, no,” Franklin said. “That's why we are talking about it. We've got to come up with some ideas to finance our navy. I was hoping you would come up with something, Daff.”
Daphne looked over at Prary. “That’s why he pays me the pittance he calls a salary. I sometimes think I have the only brains in the place.”
“Maybe Modest Marple would have some ideas,” Prary sugge
sted.
Franklin grinned. “I don’t make any great claims on my own brain power, but Marple, on the other hand, is pretty smart.”
“Ha! He’s so wet behind the ears he squeaks when he walks.”
“Pardon me, Daphne,” Franklin said as he rubbed his chin, “but you’re mixing your metaphors again.”
“Right. So let’s think about how we can commercialize the something else. You hold the mineral rights, so you would be fully justified in tossing any prospectors in the dungeon.”
“And you're the one who keeps telling me not to be so overbearing.”
Daphne shrugged. She walked further into the room and dropped into an easy chair. “I’m just kicking the ideas around, Franklin. Nobody else has any idea how to do this.”
“And just keep doing that Daphne. Your track record for ideas is probably better than anyone else has.”
“That’s not fair. You’re not supposed to compliment me!”
“Okay. Your outfit is not very color coordinated today. Been mixing and matching again?”
“Shut up!”
Franklin threaded his fingers together behind his head and smiled.
“I ought to come over there and wipe that smile off your face!”
“Then Alex would have to protect me,” Franklin said. “He’s right outside the door, right? You out there, Alex?”
The door opened and Alex Nesmith stuck his head in. “You need me, Sir?”
“Yep. Daphne is threatening me with bodily harm. Can you throw her in the dungeon?”
“Don’t you dare, Alex!”
Nesmith looked back and forth between Daphne and Franklin in confusion.
Franklin laughed delightedly. “You’re getting him well trained, Daphne.”
Both Alex and Daphne turned red.
“Shut up, Franklin!” Daphne said.
“You’re starting to repeat yourself.”
Daphne jumped out of her chair and stormed out of the room.
Franklin looked over at the guard captain. “You think you can handle her, Alex?”
