by Ward Wagher
“Financial Statement?” Steelmaker said.
Franklin pulled a chip from his pocket and flipped it onto the desk. Steelmaker picked it up and inserted it into the desk reader. He peered down into the desk display for a few minutes as his guests waited.
“Cash flow doesn’t cover the payments I need. Plus, I assume you are planning further investments from cash flow. It doesn’t work, young Franklin. What’s your magazine capacity?”
“Fifty birds.”
“So you’re talking $150 million Centaurans plus you need tools, spare parts and tech manuals. That’s more than your toy kingdom is worth in its entirety.”
He held up a hand to forestall Franklin’s rejoinder. “I’m sure it’s a nice place and picturesque. That has to be true based upon your first year’s receipts. Of course, your mother had the touch with things like that.”
“And it’s only going to grow,” Franklin said.
“You aren’t getting ready to beg, are you?”
Franklin stood up. “Come on, Simmons. I don’t have time to waste here, either.”
“Will you sit down, Franklin? Did you know I financed the Forsythia for your father?”
“So what if you did?”
“We negotiated for sixteen hours.”
“So negotiate,” Franklin said as he sat back down.
“Better. Do you hold Montora fee simple?”
“No. Dad does.”
“Do you have POA?” He was asking about a Power of Attorney.
“Yes, I have complete authority.”
“Okay, here’s the deal, since you evidently do not enjoy these kinds of proceedings. I’ll give you a full loadout for three million plus ten percent of the Margraviate.”
Franklin sat very still and watched the old man. “What’s the hook?”
Steelmaker chuckled. “Hook? No hook. I’m simply convinced that ten percent of your mountain resort will be worth far more than two-hundred million Centaurans down the road. It’s a smart investment on my part. The cash is my insurance that you are serious about this.”
“Okay,” Franklin said, “Five percent, a million-five, and we can wrap this up today.”
Steelmaker grinned at him. “How much cash are you actually carrying?”
Franklin leaned forward and tapped the desktop with his finger. “I think you have to pay to see the cards.”
“So I do. So I do. Let’s try this. The shares really aren’t worth anything right now. I really need ten percent to have serious leverage with you. I can come down to two million cash.”
Franklin gazed back at the old man. “Ten percent is worth maybe fifteen or twenty million Centaurans. When you figure in the projected revenues…”
It was a long day.
chapter eighteen
"Any ideas on where we can find a vocoder for the Chief Engineer, Lieutenant?" Ensign Chaplin asked.
“The chandler gave me the names of a couple of electronic suppliers in Braxton," Lieutenant Foxworth said. "Either one of them will have what we need, or they will know where we can find one."
"I am hopeful," Louie said. "This debris is getting frustrating."
The three crew members were on the highway between the starport and Braxton proper. Ensign Chaplin was at the wheel of the Rancher vanlet, and Signe Foxworth was in the passenger seat. They had removed the back seat to make it easier for the Woogie to fit, and he perched in the middle behind the two front seats.
"He's not the only one getting frustrated," the Ensign said. "It's incredibly hard to manage engineering with a gimpy vocoder. No offense, chief engineer."
"None taken, Ensign," Louie responded. "Feel like the Woogie working with four testicles tied behind back."
Both women immediately exploded into laughter.
"Crap!"
"The oaths and profanity seem to come through reliably, chief," Ensign Chaplin said.
"Am ashamed. Please accept my humble apolobooby."
"No problem, chief," Chaplin said. Signe placed her elbow on the armrest and had leaned over, biting her hand, to keep from laughing out loud.
"So, Lieutenant," Chaplin said, changing the subject, "how did you learn so much about provisioning? You're a lawyer, right?"
"No. I have an MBA actually. When I got aboard Canopus I found out how little I know about provisioning. I worked my way through business school as a purchasing agent for a consumer co-op. We catered to people who really didn't have time to do their own shopping. They would give us only the most general descriptions of what they wanted and we would have to hunt stuff down and deliver it to them. You eventually get pretty good at figuring out what the customer wants. If you don't, you don't stay in business. I got very good at it. But, this is another league entirely."
Chaplin nodded as she looked ahead at the road. "You are fortunate to be able to go to college, let alone to a graduate school. Don't take this the wrong way, Lieutenant, but I envy you."
"You envy me?" Signe said. "Other than Louie, you are the best technical person on the ship. I've heard some of the engineering ratings talking in the mess. They hold you in awe, Ensign. I just assumed you had an engineering degree from somewhere."
Chaplin snorted. "The Navy gave me some courses, but most of it I had to pick up on my own. Again, don't take me wrong, but I didn't have the advantages you did."
"Ensign Lari is very good," Louie said.
Signe smiled over at Lari. "You're doing well at handling a tricky subject tactfully. I'm not sure where you're going with this but let me explain a couple of things. I took full advantage of Daddy's position to get into college and grad school, and you would have, as well, had you been in my shoes. Daddy talked to Carlo Roma, who had someone speak to the admissions offices of the schools I attended. After that it was up to me. Believe it or not, my parents are not wealthy. They could not have afforded the schools I attended. So, therefore, I had to be very good at what I did. Can you tell me you did not take shameless advantage of every opportunity to make ensign, in spite of the fact you don't have any formal education?"
"Oh I pulled every string I could," Lari said.
"Then we aren't so very different after all, are we?"
“Other than our choice of boyfriends, we are not so different, I guess.”
“Who's your boyfriend?” Signe asked. “You have me curious now.”
“None at the moment.”
“Same here.”
Lari glanced over at Signe. “I thought you and the Skipper... Oh, I apologize. I thought I saw something and drew the wrong conclusions.”
“No need to apologize, Ensign. The Skipper made it very clear any relationships among the chain of command were a Bad Thing. That's with capital letters.”
Lari looked over with a raised eyebrow. “Okay, so things will change when we get back to Hepplewhite.”
“Maybe.”
“What can you tell me about Hepplewhite? Commander Hyde urged me to stay with the ship. I had originally intended on returning with the ferry crew.”
“It's a poor planet. I don't mean the people are in abject poverty because they're not. But there's no investment capital to speak of.”
“The Skipper seems to be doing okay,” Chaplin said.
“That's because his father made a significant investment in the village. If we can attract a few more investors, the place will have possibilities. Where are you from, Ensign?”
“Festalborg.”
“Oh.”
“Oh is right. With the Centauran Navy holding the place, I don't have a home to go back to.”
“What about your family?”
“I grew up in a children's home. I don't know who my parents were. I know it sounds sappy, but Hepplewhite feels like home to me.”
“From a cultural standpoint, Hepplewhite is a nice planet,” Signe said. “I wasn't there that long, but I'm already getting attached to it myself. You could easily find worse places to land.”
“Sort of what I thought...” she paused for a moment.
“Plus, I like what I'm doing.”
Signe smiled at Chaplin. “Ensign, you are getting in on the ground floor of a new navy. I think you will be amazed at the opportunities that will come your way.”
Louie listened carefully to the conversation, but said nothing.
Ensign Chaplin pulled the vehicle to a stop in front of the first store on Signe's list. The two women climbed out of the car and walked into the store. Louie struggled out of the back of the vanlet and followed. A single clerk sat behind the counter, his head down, scanning a book reader. He apparently didn't hear them come into the store. They walked up to the counter and Signe cleared her throat.
"May I help you WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THAT THING?" The book reader clattered to the floor as the young man jumped to his feet.
"This is Louie," Ensign Chaplin said. "He's a Woogie."
"A Woogie?"
"Yes, a Woogie. From Woogaea."
“Is he dangerous?”
Louie studied the clerk for a few moments and then shook all five tentacles in the air and made a noise somewhere between an elephant trumpeting and someone abusing a French Horn. The clerk dropped behind the counter with a shriek.
“Don't let him hurt me!”
“Had to get that out of my systemic,” Louie said.
“System,” Lari corrected.
“Whatever.”
Signe leaned over the counter. “He isn't going to hurt you. He is really very nice.”
The clerk carefully raised himself up to his feet. “I have never seen anything like that in my life.”
“He is not a that!” Lari said. “This is Louie. He is a person.”
“Okay, okay. What can I do for you, then?”
“Considering your never having seen a Woogie before, you probably can't help us,” Signe said. “We're looking for a replacement vocoder for Louie. His got smashed in an accident and the one we put together for him doesn't work very well.”
“Like that box tied around its... middle?” the clerk asked.
“Yes, the box tied around his middle,” Lari said.
“What's wrong with it?”
“Selects wrong worst,” Louie said.
“What?”
“It selects the wrong words,” Lari explained.
“Just a moment,” the clerk said. He turned to the comp term on the counter and began typing. “If there is a specific device for translating Woogie-speak in Braxton, I would be very surprised. That piece of equipment looks rough.”
“Not a lot of time for the Woogie. Needed to soon again speak dude noodle...” One tentacle snaked to the front of the box to push the reset button.
Following the “ta da” sound Louie spoke again. “Very sorry and much tanks. This cannot on go.”
The clerk shook his head. “No, there's nothing on-planet like what you need. I do have an idea, though.” He scribbled a note on a piece of paper. “Here's the address of one of the other shops in Braxton. The guy there is a wizard with software and WHAT IS THAT GOD-AWFUL SMELL?”
“Apparently some of the eau de Woogie finally drifted your way,” Signe said dryly.
“Very sorry about smell,” Louie said. “We go now?”
The clerk gagged and turned pale. “Okay, if there is nothing further...” He turned and rushed through a door into the back of the store.
Louie rumbled. It sounded like somebody had purged a fresher upstairs. “Another one bites the barf.”
Signe and Lari walked outside to the ground car. Louie followed them out of the store. He rotated as he moved down the aisle, his single blue eye scanning the store and the merchandise.
“That was enlightening,” Signe said.
“I can't believe he had never seen a Woogie before – or even pictures.”
“The Woogie is a rare steak around here,” Louie said from the back of the vanlet.
“That's rare bird,” Lari corrected.
“That too.”
“I hope that clerk didn't offend you,” Signe said.
“None taken. Hope to received good infostructure.”
“Information,” Lari corrected.
“Uh huh.”
“Do you know where this is, Lieutenant?” Lari was looking at the address scratched on the paper.
“Let me see. Ummm. Take the next left. I think that street is about four blocks over.”
“Turn right,” Louie said.
Lari looked over at Signe. “What?”
“Turn right, then. Louie outranks me.”
“Ooookay.” Lari slowed down to scan the intersection and then eased the little vehicle to the right. “If the Lieutenant was right, you get to buy dinner, Louie.”
“No Woogie cuisine in this town,” Louie said.
“No offense, Louie,” Signe said, “but Woogie food doesn't sound appetizing to me anyway.”
“None taken.”
“Okay, here's the street,” Lari said. “Left or right?”
“Right,” Signe said.
“Left,” Louie said.
Lari brought the vehicle to a complete stop. She had both hands on the wheel and looked straight ahead. She gave a deep sigh.
“Louie says left,” Signe said. “We go left.”
“Thank you, Lieutenant.”
Lari eased the vanlet left and started along the street.
“And here we are, on the right,” Signe said. “I guess you should never doubt a Woogie.”
“Gerrgitht,” Louie said. “Never doubt a Woogie when he is masticating.”
Signe shook her head. “Phew. That was close. We've got to get him some help! I don't know how you put up with it in Engineering, Ensign.”
“It's really not so bad. We have gotten good at reading between the lines and understanding what Louie wants. The odd moments of hysterical laughter keep everyone relaxed.”
“That's what worries me.”
“Woogies the worry too,” Louie said.
“Let's go,” Signe said as she opened the door.
“I have never seen a Woogie before! I am so glad you came into the store.”
This clerk was much more enthusiastic about his customers.
“I certainly hope you can help us,” Signe said. “We had to cobble together a vocoder for Louie here when the old one got smashed. The new one doesn't work very well.”
The clerk looked at Louie. “How do you do. My name is Genghis McCarthy.”
“I do fine. My name Louie. Can you fix my bespraggled kitchen picnic basket?”
“Oh my.” Genghis stared at the box as he thought. “Is that a Centauran Data Port on the side?”
Louie eased up to the counter. He unsnapped the box and set it close to the clerk. “Not know. Examine.”
Genghis suddenly stepped back. “Oh my. I had heard about the... odor.” He shuddered and straightened again. “Well, I guess I can get used to it. Besides, I want to help you.”
The clerk reached under the counter and pulled out a thin filament with a plug on the end. “Let me see if... okay... I think that works.” He plugged it into the box and then turned to his comp term. “All right, we have a connection. Mr. Louie, can you send me the security token?”
“Understandably.”
“Fine. We're in,” Genghis said. He spent some more time exploring via the keyboard.
“Okay. I don't think there's anything fundamentally wrong with the hardware, folks. Whoever put this together for you used an off-the-shelf translation program. I think that's your problem. For free software, this stuff is junk.”
“I'm running the box's diagnostic module. We can watch the thing in real time when Louie speaks.”
“It was put together in a tearing great hurry,” Lari said.
“It shows,” Genghis said.
“Not work right,” Louie said. “Always feel constipated.”
Genghis snorted. “I just saw that one go through the program. It's definitely in the software. Let me see what we can do here.”
Two hours later they left the store.
“Do you feel better now, Louie?” Signe asked.
“Much better. New software not perfect, but much better. Like to hire Genghis.”
“No longer constipated?” Lari asked innocently.
Louie stopped moving and rotated to face Lari. “Humans can be replaced.”
“I'll take that as a no.”
“Let's get our groceries and then get back to the starport, then. Hopefully the Skipper won't be waiting on us.”
“Understood, Lieutenant,” Lari said. “It's never a good idea to keep the Skipper waiting.”
chapter nineteen
Daphne walked into Franklin's cabin.
"You called, Skipper?"
Franklin handed Daphne a data chip. "I have date, time and spatial coordinates on the chip there.”
"And what will we discover when we get to that location, Sir?"
"Daphne, I have mortgaged my soul to the company store. What you will find when we arrive there is a collier with a complete load out for our magazines. I assume you will know what to do?"
"Oh, yes sir, or rather, the chiefs will know what to do. I’ve found things go better if I just stay out of their way."
"Are we topped off on everything else?"
"Almost. There's a shuttle on the way up with the rest of Lieutenant Foxworth’s purchases."
"Bunkerage?"
"The tanks are topped off. The board officer at the fuel farm asked if you would stop by and give him a personal guarantee on the fuel."
Franklin laughed. "I don't know why I am laughing. Whatever else we can say about the successes of our journey thus far, financially, it has been a disaster. I had to give old man Steelmaker a piece of Montora before he would part with any of his missiles."
Daphne grew sober. "How big of a piece, Franklin?"
"Ten percent."
She grimaced and shook her head. "That one could come back to haunt us. I've heard about him. You don't pay your bills, and he moves in to take control."
"Yeah, I've heard that too. This was a straight up deal, though. I gave him a million-five and ten percent. He gave me the missiles. There is no financing involved. I have a buy-back option on the shares."
