by Ward Wagher
"I'll put it in the car," Franklin said.
"Then you can bring it back once I get off of this stupid medicine."
"No, he won't," Signe said. "Franklin, you need to get rid of it."
"Glenn, I'll write you a check. Don't worry about it. Besides, if nothing else I can let the Woogie drink it."
Louie had been standing in the doorway watching the exchange. "To give thanks, no. One expedients too much."
"You mean experienced?" Signe asked.
"Whatever."
"Let's get it out of here before we are no longer able to restrain Glenn," Franklin said. He bent over and opened the doors on the front of the cabinet. "Good heavens, Glenn, what did you do, buy out a liquor store?"
"I told you I had a lot in there."
Franklin started setting bottles out on the floor. "I'm going to have to go back to the airport and borrow a truck from Justin. I don't think this is going to fit in the car. Louie, can you help me?"
"Obliviously."
"I think he means obviously," Signe said.
"That too," Louie said.
As the group stood in the middle of the room conversing, Franklin was keeping an eye on Glenn. The color suddenly washed out of the Prime Minister's face and he staggered over to collapse in the chair behind his desk.
"Daddy, are you all right?" Signe was instantly at his side.
"I'm sorry, darling. I suddenly got very tired."
“I think we need to get you into bed too,” she said. “You really haven’t totally recovered from all this yet.”
“I’ll be all right. Just let me sit here for a while.”
Louie moved over to the corner where Franklin was pulling bottles from the cabinet. “Perhaps to store at hotel,” Louie said. “Much easier than carrying over the mountains.”
“You got that one right,” Franklin said. “I happily accept your offer.”
Five tentacles each snagged a bottle and then Louie chugged towards the door. “The door, please, Friend Franklin?”
“Yep. Hold on a second, Friend Woogie.” Franklin stood up and grabbed an armload of bottles. “Be right with you.”
After he left the room, Signe looked over at Glenn. “Daddy, you really ought to go lie down.”
“If I go lie down every time I get tired, I’ll never get anything done.”
“You don’t need to get anything done right now.”
“I’m just afraid of what our Mayor did in my absence. He's not the brightest candle in the menorah. I ought to go to the office.”
“Your office isn’t there any longer. Remember?”
“Oh, yes. Sorry.”
“I’m just glad Franklin stepped in to help.”
“Me too,” Glenn said. “I’m glad he was keeping an eye on things while we were gone. He’s about the only person on this planet I trust.”
“He knows how to get things done; that’s for sure,” she said. “Between him and Daphne, the ship was functioning better than I would have believed possible.”
“So Franklin and Daphne are a smoothly working team?”
“No, they fight all the time. She’s a control freak and he loves to push her buttons. I have to say he’s really good at it too. But somehow, they make things just work.”
Glenn looked up from his chair. “I thought maybe you and Franklin had something going. “
“Oh, we do,” she replied quickly. “I think they respect each other, but they don’t really like each other.”
“So, are you going to marry him?”
Signe folded her arms across her chest. “Up until the trip home I would have said yes. But I’m worried about what he’ll say about what happened to us.”
“You didn’t get kidnapped.”
“You know what I’m talking about.”
“I know. Sorry. I’m still coming to grips with it myself. You’re going to have to tell him.”
She smiled. “I’m just so excited about it, I want to tell everyone, but I’m frightened about how he will react.”
“I’m just thankful it made such a profound change in your mother. I was afraid we had completely lost her.”
Signe looked very sober. “I still am having nightmares about that. I never used to believe in miracles, but I think this falls in that category.”
# # #
Franklin and Louie looked at the plastiboxes of liquor on the shelves of the store room at the Cambridge Arms Hotel. Each was carefully marked with the legend Property of Glenn Foxworth. Do not Disturb.
“I’m glad you thought of storing this here, Louie. That was a great suggestion.”
“Glad to help. Mister Glenn drinks too much. Needs to stop.”
“Well, if you can’t control it, it’s not something you need to be doing. That’s for sure. Maybe we should just go ahead and buy it from him. I don’t think Signe would mind.”
“You need it?” the stumpy alien asked.
“Not really. Not this much anyway. Is this something you can use in the hotel restaurant?”
“Sure thing, Bipper.” They walked out of the store room. Louie carefully turned the key in an old-fashioned lock. He took the key and it disappeared somewhere on his person. Franklin tried to look without appearing to stare.
There was the stopped-plumbing rumble of the Woogie’s laugh. “Always good to confuse the friends. Even better the not-friends.”
Franklin raised his eyebrows and snorted. “Can’t argue with you there.”
“Come into orifice. Will recompense Mister Glenn with clash.”
“Office. Cash.”
Louie stopped and spun around on his five legs. His single blue eye regarded Franklin. “That too.” He turned and thrummed into the hotel office.
Franklin followed him into the small office. Louie began typing on his comp-term. After thirty seconds or so, the characteristic Woogie aroma of menthol and stinkweed became overpowering. “Um. I think I’ll wait out here, Louie.”
The plumbing rumbled again. “Used to worry about offending. But humans try to slip little stinks out. Nobody hears a noise – Louie interrupted his soliloquy to make a raspberry-like buzz – and think nobody knows. But Woogies have sensitive nose. Louie thinks a little goose for the sauce fits the crime.”
Franklin had been trying to picture Louie with a nose and almost missed the last part. He played it back in his mind. “I think you meant sauce for the goose, Louie.”
“Whatever. Please deliver this check-mark.” With a surprisingly delicate touch, Louie lifted a check out of the printer.
Franklin reached out to take the check. “Whatever.”
“Please do not mock Woogie.”
“I wouldn’t think of it, Louie.”
“Right. You are all the time pulling my testicles.”
At that Franklin burst into laughter. “Tentacles, Louie, tentacles.”
“That too.”
Signe opened the door of the Prime Minister’s house when Franklin tapped on it.
“Oh, thanks for coming back, Franklin.”
“I come bearing moolah,” he said, waving the check in the air.
“Oh, thank-you,” she said as she pried it from his hands with her deep, melodious giggle. “I’ll put it on Daddy’s desk. Better yet, I’ll deposit it for him. Maybe if he doesn’t see the money he won’t be tempted to go out and buy more.”
“I don’t think your father is in as good a shape as he thinks.”
“True. Do you have time to come in for a while? I finally talked him into lying down.”
“If you don’t mind, I’ll hang around for the rest of the day. I want to make sure your parents get settled in again. I can take care of any errands you might need done.”
“Thank you, Franklin. You’re a dear.” She took his hand and led him into the living room. “It seems like ages since that last party here. You remember – the one with the unfortunate Woogie.”
They sat down on the sofa together. “I was really sorry I let Louie drink the Strawberry Sling,”
Franklin said. “I had no idea it would affect him like that. Apparently he didn’t either.”
“I thought Mummy was going to kill you and Daddy.”
“Well it certainly livened up the party. And Louie won’t go near alcohol now.”
“Daddy promised me he would quit. I thought he was weakening when he walked in and saw the cabinet.”
“You might want to go through the house and see if he has anything stashed elsewhere.”
“I hadn’t thought of that. I can check with Mrs. Saint Simons. Believe me, she would know if he had some hidden around here. And she’s pretty good at looking out for them.”
“I gather she wasn’t here when they were kidnapped.”
“She was out shopping. They only way the pirates would have gotten past her would’ve been over her dead body. We were fortunate in that regard.”
“I’m just sorry we didn’t get to Victor soon enough to prevent what happened to them.”
Signe laid a hand on his arm. “There is no way we could’ve gotten there in time. We just can’t worry about that.”
“I can’t believe those animals. I hope Hai Ciera has some success in dealing with them. Otherwise, I’m afraid Louie will go out and try to do something about it.”
“Can’t you stop him?”
Franklin shook his head. “He was so mad it was scary. I’ve never seen him like that. He greatly likes and admires your parents. For him this is personal.”
“I’ll have to talk to him. The only result of him going out to Victor would be a dead Woogie.”
“I don’t know. I don’t think I’d like him that mad at me. I think he’s smart enough to play to his strengths in that kind of a situation.”
“Let’s just not let him get into that kind of a situation, okay? Mummy is doing much better now, but I think it would be very bad if she lost her Woogie.”
“I understand and I don’t want to lose him either.”
They sat in companionable silence for a while. Then Mrs. Saint Simons bustled in with a coffee service on a tray. She set the tray on the coffee table and poured a cup for Franklin and Signe. She retreated from the room without a word.
“Efficient.” Franklin said.
“And then some.”
“So… what happened on the trip back. You’ve been kind of mysterious about it.”
Signe picked up the china cup and sipped at her coffee, as if to gather her thoughts.
“You remember Mummy was in a bad way after the rescue, and Daddy wasn’t much better. We weren’t sure we would be able to care for Mummy here at home.”
“I understand. I’m amazed at how much better she is.”
“Right. Well, Carlo Roma paid for a doctor to accompany us on the trip here from Harcourt’s World. The doctor actually traveled out from Earth to assume control of the treatment.”
“I don’t think I met him,” Franklin said.
“Well, he didn’t come down from the ship. He’s headed back to Earth now.”
“How did he manage to get through to your mother?”
“It was the most amazing thing. He sat down and simply started reading to her from the Bible.”
“Oh, come on, Signe.”
“No, really. This went on for a couple of days. I didn’t know what to think. But Mummy really started settling down. I walked into her room one morning and she told me that once she realized Christ was the Lord of her life, and accepted that, things looked a whole lot better.”
Franklin looked up at the ceiling and then around the room. “Well, I guess if it helped your mother, I guess it was worth while. What did your Dad say?”
“He was amazed at the change and pressed Doctor Smith about it. So Doctor Smith talked to Daddy for nearly four days. Then Daddy told me he had come to Christ as well.”
Franklin shook his head. “Now that I find hard to believe.”
“Daddy said he had been trying to lose himself in the bottle for the past several years. So God really rescued him.”
Franklin rubbed his face and then snickered. “If nothing else, Father Riggs will be delighted. But Signe, how are you going to deal with a couple of Christers in the house? I mean, it’s got to be uncomfortable.”
She turned to him with a smile. “Not really, Franklin. First of all, I love my parents and it is wonderful to see them healing from this. Secondly, I had some sharp words with Doctor Smith about his professional ethics. I mean, I thought he needed to be healing them, rather than getting them wrapped up in some mystic religionist nonsense.”
“I should hope to say so,” Franklin said. “I’m surprised Carlo would send somebody like that out here.”
“Well, we spent some time arguing about it, and then… well. I woke up and realized the Bible was the only thing that really makes sense in this crazy universe.”
“You what?” Franklin was now staring at her. “Tell me you didn’t.”
“Tell me I didn’t what? God created the universe. He found a way to rescue sinful men. He rescued me.”
Franklin jumped out of the sofa and paced the room. “Signe, this is not what I was expecting to hear. I thought you had more sense than that.”
“Franklin, this is the most together I’ve ever been. For the first time in my life, I’m truly content. You can’t argue what God has done for my parents.”
“Signe! God let them get kidnapped. God let those animals do vile things to your parents. I can’t argue about that, and neither can you.”
“They can destroy the body, but God now keeps our souls. It’s a good tradeoff, I think.”
He stood across the room and stared at her. His hands were at his sides and he repeatedly squeezed his fists closed and open again.
“Okay, I need to get back out to the starport and check with Justin on some things.”
“I thought you were staying around here this afternoon.”
“Call me if you need me,” Franklin said as he fled the house.
chapter thirty-three
“So what brings you out here?” Justin Voss said to Franklin.
“I told Signe I had to come out here to talk to you about the rental car and I didn’t want to lie to her, so I came out.”
Voss folded his arms across the counter top and leaned into it. “Why do I suspect there’s a story here, Franklin?”
“Signe surprised me, Justin. She’s everything I’ve always dreamed of in a girl; somebody I would have loved to take home to meet my mother. In fact, I was seriously thinking of popping the question pretty soon now.”
Voss straightened up and walked over to the coffee machine behind the counter. He held the carafe up towards Franklin, who nodded. “So I gather something happened to revise your opinion somewhat.” He poured a mug full of the coffee and slid it down the counter to Franklin.
Franklin watched Voss pour his own cup. “You might say that. I had been very concerned about her parents. No, let me correct that; I was terrified. Monica Foxworth was in very bad shape mentally after the rescue. I mean, like, in losing all your marbles. I could picture her spending the rest of her life in a straight-jacket. And Glenn was only a little better off. He had enough rationality to know what was going on. You know how he liked to drink. I was sure he would come back here and climb into a bottle.”
“That explains your activities at the shuttle pad this afternoon, then,” Voss said. “You were sure in a big hurry to get that car between them and the well-wishers.”
Franklin snorted. “Well-wishers. More like piranha. I was scared to death Monica would come unglued at the airport and start screaming again. Nobody needed to see that, Justin.”
“I didn’t see them get off the shuttle. Was it bad?”
“No, actually not. I mean, they are definitely worse for the wear. But they seemed remarkably together. I could tell Monica was moving under pure force of will. But she sure was glad to see Louie.”
“I understand that,” Voss said. “She really loves that Woogie.”
“Yes, but compared
to what I saw on Harcourt, the recovery was miraculous.”
“Which brings us to the present conversation?”
“Exactly. Your powers of deduction, Justin, are a never-ending source of amazement to me.”
“So are you going to tell me, or not?”
“I’m not quite sure where to begin. Well, Signe sat me down and explained the recovery to me.”
“And?”
“They got religion.”
“They joined a church?” Voss asked.
“No, no. Signe explained to me that they found Jesus.”
“Her parents?”
“Yep. Carlo Roma sent out a doctor,” and Franklin held up two fingers on each hand in quote marks. “This doctor apparently spent his time filling them with this nonsense. The only redeeming fact I can credit to him is that there is no doubt they are much, much better. But it just seems so unethical to me.”
Voss smiled. “You perhaps put your finger on it, Franklin. The only redeeming fact.”
“Eh?” Franklin looked puzzled for a moment. “Oh. Yes, Louie keeps telling me about his Redeemer. I’m not too surprised about Louie. But humans ought to know better.”
“What did Signe have to say about all this?” Voss asked.
“Funny you should ask. A couple days later this so-called doctor managed to talk her into some kind of religious experience. I mean it’s one thing when Father Riggs talks to me about this stuff. That’s his job, I guess. But it’s popping up all over.”
“What did you say to Signe?” Voss asked.
“I was speechless. I finally made up that story about the car, so I could get out of there. So here I am. And the car is fine. It’s a nice car. I’m glad you loaned it to me. I assume you will send me the bill. Okay, now I’ve talked to the car so I won’t have lied to Signe.”
“You've talked to the car?”
“No! I've talked about the car. Now you're getting me confused.”
Voss rolled his tongue around the inside of his cheek and then took a sip of the coffee. “So, why is it so important not to lie to Signe?”
“I don’t know, really. I guess because Dad used to beat me when I lied. It’s hard for me to come right out and lie to anyone. And I don’t want to lie to her. She’s special.”
