I stared at him. “I suppose you would have to ask him that.”
He started to ramble again. If Kyle didn’t get his ass there soon, I was going to revoke my acceptance of his resignation. Every minute he made me sit and listen to the attorney carry on was going to be a ding against the buyout offer.
“Sir, Mr. Dobbins is here,” his secretary chimed in via the intercom.
“Thank god,” I muttered.
Kyle came in, apologizing for his tardiness before taking his seat next to mine. “Did I miss anything?” he asked.
I scowled at him. “Yes. A lot. You’re late.”
He grinned. “Sorry. Let’s get started.”
“All right, I’ve spoken with you both this week, and I think we are all on the same page. Although I don’t quite understand why you’re wanting to dissolve the partnership, I have drawn up the papers.”
I nodded. “I believe it’s a fair deal.”
“I agree.”
“Then you agree to the contingency?” the lawyer asked.
I realized he was looking at me, talking to me. “Contingency?” I asked. “What contingency?”
“I sent over the document yesterday. Your secretary should have given it to you.”
Kyle made a soft chuckling noise. I groaned. If I had a secretary, I probably would have gotten it. It was probably in the pile of letters and other documents on my desk. I had taken to using the secretary’s desk to handle the overflow. “I didn’t see it. What is the contingency?”
“I am willing to accept your offer to buy me out without demanding anything from the future proceeds of the company.”
“But?” I asked, waving a hand. It was pretty obvious there was a big but waiting for me.
“With the agreement you keep the new assistant I hired for you for a full year.”
I frowned, wondering what he was up to. “Why would you do that? Why would I do that? You actually expect me to keep a secretary even if she does a horrible job? When did you hire this person? Why wasn’t I allowed to sit in on the interview?”
He slowly nodded. “I do expect you to keep her on, and I didn’t have you sit in because we both know you wouldn’t have approved.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I do know that. You have struggled to find anyone that suits you. I took the liberty of hiring someone I know will work well with you.”
I frowned at him. “You can’t know that.”
“I can,” he insisted.
“Why? Why is it any of your concern? You’re not even going to be working there any longer.”
He let out a sigh. “No, I’m not, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about the business. If you don’t get someone in there that can assist you, the business is going to suffer. You’re burning the candle at both ends. It’s not that big of a deal. This secretary is going to be with you for a year. She’s agreed to it.”
I didn’t like it. “Why a year?”
“Because most people only need a few weeks to develop a habit or get used to change. You are stubborn and will need a full year. You need someone that can’t be tossed out with the evening trash.”
I still didn’t like it. I felt like he was trying to control the situation, even though he wasn’t going to be a part of the business. “I have high expectations. That’s not such a bad thing.”
He shrugged. “It’s all I want. I’m willing to take the buyout without any further demands, and we both know I could ask for much more.”
“A secretary? Really? That’s what you want? I’m not sure if you’re trying to set me up or what.”
He chuckled. “Set you up for what? You’re seeing problems where there aren’t any.”
I mulled over the very odd request. I needed a secretary. If I agreed to the terms, at least I wouldn’t have to worry about finding another secretary for a year. It would give me the chance to focus on the business. I did have some big plans for it, and it might be nice to have someone in the position without worrying about them flaking out on me or me losing my temper and firing them.
“Okay,” I finally said. It was a small price to pay for all the hard work Kyle had given me over the years. I owed him that much at least.
“Great, then I’ll just need your signatures and we can put the sale of the shares through.”
We spent the next thirty minutes signing paperwork and finalizing the buyout. Once we were finished, Kyle and I walked out of the law firm and onto the busy city street.
“Want to grab some lunch?” I asked him.
He checked the time. “Don’t you need to get back to the office?”
I shrugged. “It will all wait.”
I didn’t want to get sappy, but I wanted to try and express my gratitude to him.
“Sure,” he agreed, putting a hand on my shoulder. “You’re buying.”
I chuckled. “I think you just had a small windfall of cash. Maybe you should buy.”
“I think you’ll recover.”
We walked to one of our favorite Mexican restaurants. “So, when do you start at the new place?”
He smiled, sipping the margarita we agreed we both deserved. “I actually started a few days ago. Nothing big, just reviewing the financials and getting my feet wet. I hit the ground running on Monday.”
It was hard not to be bitter. I was pissed that he was moving on without me. I was pissed that he was abandoning me. “Wow. That was fast.”
He nodded. “No time like the present.”
“Kyle, I don’t begrudge you for moving on. You’ve been invaluable to the company. It wouldn’t be where it is today without you.”
He smiled. “Thank you.”
I wanted to tell him I valued him, the person, not the business partner. I couldn’t do it. The words were stuck in my throat. I was a shitty friend. “It’s been good,” I muttered, sounding ridiculous.
“Drink your margarita,” Kyle said. “I’m afraid you might choke on the words. I get it. We’ve had a good run. I know you’re not the type to be friendly. It’s just not in your nature.”
I nodded. “I’m sorry,” I said, feeling like an ass.
“It’s okay. Like I said, we worked side by side for three years, and I know nothing about you. For all I know, you were hatched from an egg or maybe found under a rock. I don’t want to impose my idea of a working relationship on you. You’re a good guy. You’re a hard guy, but you’re a good guy. You’ve got an excellent mind for business. You’re going to go far. I’m going to be watching.”
“Watching from a safe distance.”
He shrugged. “It was all you from the very beginning. I was only invested twenty percent.”
“You were the one who convinced investors to give us their money in the beginning. I think they would have slammed the door in my face had I been the one to ask. I think it’s safe to say my people skills are lacking.”
He laughed, nodding as he did. “I am not going to argue with you.”
“Anyway, thanks for the three years. I know I’m not easy to get along with.”
“No, you’re not. It’s me who should thank you. I got a lot of experience and it was a good ride.”
“You’re also a rich man because of that business relationship,” I quipped.
He laughed. “That’s true as well. You put me on the map and I’m going to take full advantage of it.”
“Good, I would expect nothing less.”
We finished our meals and said our final goodbyes. I wanted to pretend it wasn’t the last time I would see him, but in all honesty, I had a feeling it would be. We might run into each other at social engagements, but as far as being friends, it was over. I had missed my chance.
I skipped going back to the office. I didn’t want to go back to the place that would feel far too empty. I went back to my house, big, empty, and sterile. Just like me. I stood in front of the mirror in my bedroom and looked into my reflection.
It was something I often did. I was unlovable. I didn’t know why. I k
new why I was unlikeable. I strived to be unlikeable because I was unlovable, as if that made any sense at all. I felt like I had missed the line when God was handing out personalities. I wasn’t sure I had one at all.
I walked away from the mirror, heading downstairs to the kitchen to make myself a drink. I was looking for something. I had been looking for something all my life. The problem was, I didn’t know what it was or where to look for it. There was just a feeling of being empty. I watched other people, and men, women, kids, everyone seemed to find fulfillment in the relationships they had. I couldn’t seem to find that same fulfillment.
Chapter 8
Willow
I woke up with the sun. I was anxious to spend the day with Jake. He was still struggling with school. I wanted to wrap him in love and let him know he was loved. He was my whole world. The kids at school were brats. I wanted to tell Jake he wouldn’t even remember their names in twenty years. Unfortunately, bullying felt like the end of the world when you were living it.
I knew because I had been the poor kid in school. I had been the girl wearing knockoffs and generic brands. I was the one that the other girls made fun of incessantly. It hurt then, but it made me stronger. It made me strong enough to be the single mom I was.
I got up and quickly showered before popping my head into Jake’s room. He was still sleeping. I would let him sleep. He deserved to sleep in and just be a lazy kid instead of woken up at five and shuffled off to a babysitter’s house on a Saturday morning. I was looking forward to the new job when weekends would be mine to spend with Jake.
I walked to the kitchen and rummaged around in the cupboards trying to find something special to make him for breakfast. I grimaced at the minimal findings. I grabbed my phone and did a quick search for a pancake recipe from scratch. I found one and was relieved to see I had the ingredients necessary. I didn’t have syrup, which sent me back to the internet. I had sugar and I had water. I could make some syrup.
We weren’t rich, but when it was possible, I tried to make him meals that were special. I had just finished the first batch of pancakes and was cracking eggs into a bowl when Jake came into the kitchen.
“Good morning,” I greeted.
“Do you work today?”
He had been asking me the same question every day. I hated that I had to go to work at all, but unless I married rich, I was going to be working. “I don’t work today. I was thinking we could have some breakfast and then we’ll go to the beach. We haven’t been to the beach in a long time.”
“Can we go swimming?”
I winced. “It might be a little chilly for that, but we’ll see. Maybe we can put our toes in the water.”
“Did you make pancakes?” he asked, his eyes widening as he stared at the stack.
I laughed. “Don’t sound so surprised. Can you grab two plates and set the table for me?”
He bobbed his head up and down, his dark hair falling into his eyes. “Yes.”
He did as I asked while I made the scrambled eggs. I carried the dishes to the table. I started to cut his pancakes when I noticed him looking at me with a hint of resignation. “I’m sorry. You’re a big boy and can do it yourself now.”
He smiled, took the butter knife from me, and attacked the poor pancakes, using the knife like it was a chainsaw. I tried not to cringe at the mess he was making. I wanted him to be independent. I couldn’t keep cutting his food for him. The more independence he had, the more confident he would be. The more confidence he had, I hoped the better his self-esteem would be, and he wouldn’t be such a target for the bullies.
We finished our breakfast. He changed while I cleaned up. We headed to Pier Thirty-Nine. It was a tourist attraction, but we liked watching the tourists. I had busted into our Disneyland fund once again, figuring with my new job, I could replenish it soon enough.
“I can play?” Jake asked when I bought tokens for the arcade.
“Yes, play. Let’s have some fun.”
He was thrilled. “Do you want to shoot zombies with me?”
It was a question only the mother of a little boy could be thrilled to hear. “I would love to shoot some zombies.”
We climbed into the machine, the hard plastic seat uncomfortable, but I was willing to suffer through it. We laughed loudly, shooting at the zombies on the screen. Jake was a far better shot than me, taking out the majority of our enemies.
With the money exhausted, we ventured down the beach, getting away from the hustle and bustle of the tourists flocking to the pier on a warm Saturday afternoon. We found a place to sit on the sand, both of us rolling up our jeans, prepared to go into the water should we decide.
“How was school yesterday?” I asked him.
He shrugged. “Fine.”
“I’m starting a new job on Monday. It’s the kind of job where I go to work when you go to school and I get home shortly after you get done with your after-school stuff. I won’t work on weekends anymore either. I will only have one job. That means I’ll be able to hang out with you more.”
“I like that,” he said.
“There’s something else I wanted to talk to you about,” I said, hoping it was a good time to broach the subject of a new school.
“What?” he asked.
“Aunt Lilly told me about a school. A really good school. I was thinking we could go and see it.”
“Why?” he asked, tossing a stick toward the water.
“Because I think a new school would be good for you. They wear uniforms and have some very good teachers. There aren’t as many kids and I think you could make new friends.”
He was quiet for several seconds. “I don’t want to go to a new school.”
“But I think a change would be good. You’re a smart kid, Jake. You’re the smartest kid I know. I want you to go to a school that will be fun and teaches you lots of things.”
“Did I get kicked out of my school?” he asked.
I knew he was too smart for his own good. People couldn’t see how smart he was because he could be defiant. He didn’t like talking to people he didn’t know. Instead of adults trying to understand that, they quickly labeled him as shy, dumb, or rude. “You did not get kicked out of your school. This is a good thing. I’m going to talk to Aunt Lilly and we’ll go to see the school sometime this week or next week.”
He sighed. “Fine.”
“It’s going to be good.”
“I don’t want to wear a uniform.”
“You won’t have to worry about wearing cool clothes. Everyone will be wearing the same thing. I know that’s certainly going to make my life easier. And getting dressed in the morning will be quick and easy.”
I could see he wasn’t exactly excited by the idea, but I knew it was the right thing to do.
“Okay,” he said.
I bit my lip, not quite finished with our conversation. I had to take advantage of the good spirits he was already in. “Because the school year is almost over, I don’t want to switch schools right away. That means you’ll be at your old school for a little bit longer. I need you to do me a favor.”
“What?”
“I need you to do your best to be good and not get in any more fights while you’re at school. My new job is important. I can’t leave like I used to. I know it’s hard to do, but ignore the kids that say mean things. Their words are just words. You can’t let them bother you. You are loved. You are my best friend in the whole wide world, and I absolutely love you more than I love cake, and you know your mother loves cake.”
He giggled. “You really like cake.”
“I do,” I said with a big grin. “But I like you just a tiny bit more than I like cake.”
“I’ll try,” he promised.
“That’s all I can ask.”
“Can we go in the water?”
I nodded. “Just our feet. We didn’t bring clothes to change into and I don’t want you to get a rash wearing wet jeans.”
He didn’t seem bothered and rushed forward.
I followed behind him, the cold water shocking my toes and causing them to curl in the sand. He kicked his feet, splashing water everywhere. I screamed when water splashed up on my thighs. I kicked back at him, water spraying into his face. He screamed and ran away from me.
After an exhausting afternoon, we headed back home. I would have loved to take him to lunch, but I had spent all the extra money I had in the arcade. “Go change,” I told him when we got back to our small apartment. “I’ll make us some grilled cheese sandwiches.”
“With no crusts,” he shouted as he walked into his room.
I laughed and walked into the kitchen. I made the sandwiches and decided to keep up the day of no rules and lots of fun and have our lunch in the living room.
“Should we watch a movie?” I asked him.
He shrugged. “If you want to.”
“Only if you want to. Is there something else you wanted to do?”
He hesitated. “Do you want to play Mario with me?”
I smiled. “Absolutely. That is one game I can kick your butt at.”
He furiously giggled. “We’ll see about that.”
“You get it set up,” I told him. “I’m going to throw in some laundry and then you better prepare for me to show you how to really play. Eat your sandwich.”
I went down the hall to gather the dirty clothes. I hated that he had to play with his old mom instead of friends his own age. The Wii was old, and I knew all the other kids had Switches and other newer systems, but they were just way out of my budget. He didn’t seem to mind too much that he had one of the old systems.
I sorted the laundry, noticing the jeans that were too short. I tossed them in but made a mental note not to put them in his drawer. They would go in the pile to be donated. I was not going to make him wear the pants again. With the laundry in, I went back into the living room. I could hear the familiar sound of his favorite Mario game and knew he was ready to play.
I sat down on the couch next to him and grabbed the controller he had left out for me. “Ready?” I asked him.
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