She looked up at me with a small smile. “You are going to be just fine. You’ve done this before, I’m sure.”
“I have, but you have a knack with people. Honestly, Kyle usually handled this stuff. You may have noticed I’m not great with people.”
That got a small laugh from her. “You don’t say? I would have never guessed.”
“I’ll take you out for a nice lunch, something fancy. We’ll write it off as a business expense.”
That same forced smile was back. “I’m sorry, but I really do need to get this done. My boss can be a real bear.”
It was a small joke and probably about the best I was going to get. “All right. Can I bring you anything back?”
“No thanks. I’m good.”
I watched her work for a few more seconds before walking out of the office. I was glad I had driven to work. I hopped in my car and headed out to the store. Willow had not specifically said why I needed to go to the store, but I was assuming it was some kind of people problem.
It felt weird to be going without her. I couldn’t explain why, but it was just weird. I liked having her near me. It was very strange to feel something for her. Strange and a little dangerous. I couldn’t fall for my secretary. I couldn’t fall for anyone. It would only cause problems. I didn’t want to get mixed up with Willow and end up hurting her. And that was a given. I would hurt her, and that was the last thing I wanted to do.
I liked her. I wanted to keep up what we had on a personal and professional level. We worked well together. Kyle had been right to hire her. She was exactly what I needed. It would be smart to break it off now before things got messy. If I had feelings for her, did that mean she had feelings for me? Was that why she was asking me about the kid thing?
“Shit,” I muttered, realizing I had walked right into the mess all on my own.
I was going to talk to her. I had to be honest with her and let her know I liked having a friendship with her and I wanted to keep it that way.
I shook my head. “Can’t have your cake and eat it too.”
Willow was a good woman—a great woman. I couldn’t keep using her the way I was. I wasn’t using her for sex, but I was relying on her as a friend and somewhat of a confidante with no intention of letting it go any further than that. I needed to make it clear. If she was okay with it, then we could still be friends with benefits. If she wasn’t, I had to end it before we both got hurt.
Chapter 34
Willow
I was trying to focus on work. My mind kept going back to the two lines. Pregnant. I was pregnant with my boss’s child. As if that wasn’t already enough of a problem, he didn’t want kids. He didn’t just not want kids. He didn’t like them. He didn’t want to be a father.
I knew it wasn’t right, but I felt guilty for getting pregnant and putting him in a position he didn’t want to be in. It wasn’t rational, but I had been the one to come on to him every time. I had made it very clear what I wanted, and he was just giving me what I asked for. I should have known better. I did know better. I didn’t regret the sex, though. It had been pretty damn hot.
I had been unable to think of anything except the test and what it meant. After the conversation we just had, there was no way I could spring the news on him. I knew he would not handle it well. I didn’t want him to hate me or to look at me like I saw him look at that woman with disgust.
I had been giving myself one pep talk after another, telling myself I could do it on my own. I could tell Ashton it wasn’t his and hopefully keep my job. I shook my head, dismissing the idea. He would think I slept around with everyone. I didn’t want to cheapen what we had, even if it was nothing more than an office fling.
“Dammit, Willow,” I mumbled, completely disgusted with myself.
Lilly had tried to make me see the bright side of things. She had been excited, talking about a new baby and the baby smell and getting to watch the first smiles and celebrate the first steps. Those were all great things, but raising a baby on my own had been so hard the first time. I remembered the sleepless nights and the days without a shower. Part of me was convinced it would be easier the second time around because I knew what to expect. Another part of me worried it would be harder because I was ten years older.
I was falling down the rabbit hole, every thought leading to a new problem, a new challenge to face. I was hoping I would be able to keep my mind off things with work, but that was proving impossible. I had woken up with a churning tummy to remind me of the situation. The coffee Ashton had brought had been a nice gesture, but I couldn’t drink it. It hadn’t been so long that I didn’t remember all the restrictions that went with being pregnant.
I was going to miss my coffee. And wine. I blew out a breath, trying not to dwell on all the things I couldn’t have. I didn’t want my baby to think I didn’t want it. I did. It was just going to be a challenge.
When my cell phone rang, I slapped a hand to my forehead. It could only be the school, which meant Jake was in trouble. Or worse, the bullies had gotten to him when the teachers weren’t watching. I reached for the phone, expecting the school’s number but seeing Lilly’s goofy face.
“Hey, what’s up?” I answered.
“How are you?” she asked.
“I’m fine.”
“Sick this morning?”
I sighed. “Yes.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. It will get better.”
“Thanks. So why did you really call?”
“I was wondering if you wanted to come by my new office,” she said excitedly.
“Your new office?”
She squealed. “Yep. They are anxious to get things going. They already had offices and have some staff. Can you come by?”
I looked at the clock and figured I could leave a little early and still have time to pick up Jake. “Yes. I’ll be there around three-thirty or so, assuming Ashton doesn’t have something he needs done.”
“Tell him it’s a work emergency.”
I laughed. “Yeah, that won’t fly. I’ll call you if I can’t make it.”
“Be here or I’m going to come and get you.”
I laughed and ended the call. I got back to work, typing up the memos and processing various invoices while taking phone calls in between. Ashton called to check-in and let me know he would be tied up for the rest of the day. That was perfect for me. I let him know I had finished up and would be leaving a little early. He didn’t argue with the idea.
I got to the address Lilly had given me and was immediately impressed. It wasn’t over the top, something I hated to see with charities. I walked inside and asked to see Lilly before being escorted down a carpeted hall, passing a couple of empty offices as we went. Lilly was standing in front of a wall, holding up several paint cards.
“I see you’re already working on your interior design,” I teased.
She spun around. “You made it!”
“I did.”
She threw her arms around me before stepping back. “Check it out. I have an office.”
“I see that. I’m very proud of you.”
“Thanks.”
“Is that why you wanted me to come by? To help you pick out paint colors?”
She waved a hand. “No. Something far more serious.”
“Uh oh, that doesn’t sound good.”
“Have a seat please. You shouldn’t be standing in your condition.”
I rolled my eyes. “I’m barely pregnant.” I took my seat while she moved to sit behind her new desk. I could see how proud she was, and I was proud of her. It was a big first step for her. “What’s going on?”
“Work here. With me.”
Lilly was a sweetheart, but I didn’t think she had a true understanding of real life. She could take a job that didn’t pay, but I was in the real world. I needed a paying job. “Lilly, I have a job. A job that pays well.”
“You would work here,” she insisted. “Like, you’ll get paid. You would be the pr
ogram director. I’m just the lady that sits at the big desk and begs for money. I’m a volunteer, but the organization is structured to have several employees to run things.”
“Really?” I asked. “You want me to work here? As a program director? I don’t even know what that is.”
She grabbed a small folder and handed it to me. “Basically, you keep things running. You plan outings. You help pair up mentors with kids. You would be the one making sure we’re reaching as many people as we can.”
“Lilly, I appreciate the offer, but I don’t know the first thing about this stuff.”
“You have a son. You keep your son busy. You know everything there is to know about this stuff. You know how to talk to kids, and you can talk to other parents that might be concerned about their kids hanging out with strangers.”
I laughed. “I could see how that could be an issue, but isn’t the reason these kids are coming to the program because they need an adult figure in their lives?”
She shook her head. “No, not always. It’s also for situations like you and Jake. You want him to have a male influence, someone he can hang out with. There are so many single parents that need a little help. And it isn’t just the single parents. We’re going to be targeting kids that are bullied and might be feeling like they are all alone. We want them to feel special.”
I nodded, absolutely loving everything I was hearing. “It sounds like a dream job.”
“It is the dream job for you. And Jake could be a part of the program. You get a two for one. You get a job that pays very well, I might add, and Jake gets a mentor that you can rule with an iron fist.”
I laughed. “That does sound good.”
“And we would be flexible with your schedule. You could work from home a couple of days a week after the baby is born. Then, when you’re ready, the baby could come to work with you if you wanted. You’re in the offices, but next door is the rec center. Well, it will be the rec center. That’s my first order of business and getting some donated toys and furniture.”
I groaned. “You are making it all sound so good.”
“It is good. Say you’ll do it.”
“I want to, but I signed a contract,” I told her.
She waved a hand. “Was it really a binding contract? What are the consequences if you break it?”
I thought about it and realized I had no idea. “I don’t know. I don’t think there were any other consequences. It was more of a formality.”
She clapped her hands. “See! You’re golden. I know you’re not thrilled about the idea of the pregnancy and working with the baby daddy. If he doesn’t want anything to do with the baby, this is going to be better for everyone involved.”
She had a point. I chewed my bottom lip, mulling it all over. “It sounds so good, but I feel like there is a lot on the line with this job. It’s a lot of responsibility to take on a bunch of kids that might be vulnerable. What if I screw up?”
She smiled. “We have a retired cop that is in charge of background checks and vetting the mentors. He’s a tough guy. He is going to make sure anyone we take on is going to be on the up and up. Your job is to keep the mentors paired with the kids. We’re going to have little parties and activities here at the center for the kids.”
I groaned. “You are killing me. You know it is a job I would love.”
“I know, which is why I’m offering it to you.”
“I have to think about it,” I told her.
“Don’t think too long. We’ve got a lot to get done in very little time. I’m excited to get this thing off the ground.”
I was so happy for her. “I knew you would find your true calling. You’ve been waiting your whole life for this job.”
She nodded. “I think so too. My dad can’t believe I’m doing it. He thinks I’ll give up after the first week. I’m determined to make it. Not just make it, but make it so good, we’re going to win awards. I want to open up branches up and down the west coast.”
“You are ambitious,” I said with a laugh.
She shrugged. “Like you said, I was born to do this. I can organize the hell out of parties, and I can guilt my fellow wealthy socialites into donating a shitload of money.”
I burst into laughter. “I have no doubt in my mind. I need to talk to Ashton and give him a chance to replace me.”
She nodded, her eyes dancing with excitement. “You’re going to do it, aren’t you?”
“I want to,” I told her. “I really do, but I can’t leave him hanging.”
“Okay, that’s fair. Did you tell him about the little nugget in your tummy?”
“No. I’m not sure I will. If I work here, I doubt I will ever see Ashton again. There’s no reason to start a bunch of drama for nothing.”
“But he has a responsibility,” she said with a frown.
I shrugged. “Yes, but this baby isn’t a meal ticket. Ashton doesn’t want kids, which means he would write a check every month and that would be that. I don’t want to use my kid as a paycheck. I can raise this baby on my own. If you’re serious about letting me work from home and bringing the baby to work on occasion, I can do this.”
She sighed, obviously not happy. “It’s your decision, but I still think you need to tell him. He could at least give you a little money to get the essentials.”
“I’m not going to let him write me a check and dismiss me like another problem to be solved with money. I have too much pride for that. I won’t take a penny from him.”
She leaned forward. “Get over your pride. This is about that baby. That baby deserves to have the things its father can buy. Even if it’s just a voucher for diapers or a new crib.”
“I get what you’re saying. I’ll think about it. But if I do tell him, it won’t be until after I’ve quit. I don’t want things to be weird between us.”
“Fine. I’m here for you.”
I smiled and reached out to touch her hand. “Thank you. Seriously, all of this is awesome. I need to get going, but I’ll call you tomorrow after I’ve talked to him.”
Chapter 35
Ashton
I was going to give the nice thing one more try. I stopped by McDonald’s and picked up a few breakfast sandwiches. I knew she liked the sandwiches. I had seen the bags on her desk several times. I also knew it was a splurge for her. We didn’t talk a lot about her financial situation, but I knew she budgeted every dollar. I wanted to spoil her, doing something nice to show her how much I appreciated her.
Yesterday, I had gotten the feeling she was upset with me about something. Maybe she was feeling underappreciated. Maybe there was something going on with Jake. I hoped the kid wasn’t getting bullied still. He was a good kid, a little shy, but certainly not a brat that deserved to get beat up all the time. I would offer to help, I decided.
“How?” I murmured as I walked down the street. How was I going to help a kid? Maybe I could call the school and threaten them with a lawsuit if they didn’t protect the kid. I shook my head. If there was anything to be done, Willow would have already done it. She was protective of her son and there was no way she would just roll over and let him get bullied without doing everything she could to stop it.
I walked into the office, eager to see her. I smiled at the receptionist, who looked at me like I was a stranger. Willow wasn’t at her desk, which surprised me. I noticed her purse and knew she was at least in the office. I walked into my office and found her staring out the window. She was lost in thought and had not heard me come in.
“Willow?” I said.
She spun around, a startled look on her face. “Oh, hi,” she said, stumbling over the words. “You’re here. I didn’t hear you.” She blinked several times before smoothing a hand over her hair. She looked upset. I feared my suspicions about Jake were correct.
I nodded. “I’m here. Is everything okay? Is Jake okay?”
She smiled and nodded. “Yes, he’s fine. No more problems—yet, anyway.”
“Good. You seemed a little
off yesterday.”
“Sorry, I just have a lot on my mind,” she murmured.
“Anything you want to talk about?” I asked, trying to be friendly, even though I knew she didn’t like mixing our personal lives with our professional work relationship. I was thinking that might have changed after hanging out over the weekend. The line had definitely been blurred.
“No, well, yes, actually,” she said, sounding unsure.
I would give her a chance to collect her thoughts. “I brought breakfast. Have a seat and we can chat.”
She looked at the bag and grimaced. “Thank you.”
“What’s going on?” I asked, noticing her wringing her hands. She was obviously worried about something.
“I need to talk to you.”
I nodded. “Okay. Can we do it over breakfast. I’m starving.”
She wrinkled her nose. “I’m not hungry, but you go ahead.”
I sat down at my desk while she sat in the chair. She was wearing a pair of cropped pants, showing off her perfect ankles. She was wearing a dainty little ankle bracelet that was sexy and feminine, just like her. I pulled out one of the sandwiches and took a bite. “What do you want to talk about?” I asked.
She looked nervous as hell. “Um, I, uh, I have been offered a job.”
I raised an eyebrow and put my sandwich down, reaching for a napkin to wipe my fingers. “A job? Where?”
“It’s for a new program that’s just getting off the ground. It pairs kids with mentors. It’s something I know I can relate to and I can be really good at it.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I wasn’t sure I was hearing correctly, and before I jumped to conclusions, I wanted to get the facts. “What exactly are you saying?” I asked.
“I’m saying I need to take this other job.”
It felt like a knife to the heart. She was leaving me. What the hell? I thought we had a good thing going. I had given her a raise. I knew she was paid well. “Why?” I asked the first thing that came to mind. “Why would you go out looking for a job when you already have a job?”
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