He wrapped one hand around the back of her neck under her ponytail and pulled her closer.
Jake covered her lips with hers.
Chapter 69
There was nothing there. Bailey knew it the moment his lips touched hers. Jake was a very skilled kisser—probably the second best she'd ever kissed—but there was no real heat for either of them. Maybe third. It was a toss-up between him and Kurtland Chase.
He pulled back first. While she had enjoyed it, it would never happen again. They both knew that. Bailey was fighting the intense urge to giggle.
He grinned at her. "Well, that answers another question. Guess you'll forever be little-sister material, and not hot lover. Which is fine with me. I like having sisters like you and Kyra."
She laughed. Leave it to Jake to make her forget everything that had happened with Clay. She impulsively hugged him. His arms went around her, and he just held her.
Before she knew it, tears were flowing down her cheeks. Her arms tightened on his broad shoulders and she clung.
Jake and his father were all the security she had right now. The only ones in the world besides Kyra who cared what happened to her. The only ones who didn’t confuse her like a man she was not going to think about again tonight.
"Hey, hey, none of that now. Whose ass do I need to go kick? I may not be able to do much, but I'm sure I have at least one or two kicks in me. And I've always got the Great Equalizer."
“I’m afraid you can’t threaten him with that.” She gave a watery laugh. Jake had a pistol he carried that he'd nicknamed. It went with him everywhere now.
Since her father.
He put a gentle finger under her chin. "Clay say or do something stupid again?"
Her breath hitched. She nodded. "He kissed me."
"Well, hell. Two kisses in one night. You little hussy." Jake rocked her slightly as he teased. Bailey gasped, then burst into laughter.
The hall light flicked on. Bailey turned, seeing exactly who she expected to see. "Well, what are you kids doing in there? You actually on his lap?"
"Bailey here is telling me all about how Clay kissed her, then did something stupid enough to make her come home and kiss me. The better man, of course. Two kisses from the men in her life in one night."
Bailey's eyes widened and she squealed. Buried her head in Jake's broad chest as both men laughed.
Then Bert's free hand was around hers and he pulled her to her feet. "Let's make it three, honey. Show you how you're loved around here."
Bert kissed her right on her forehead. Liam giggled and grabbed her ponytail. She took him.
And gave him a kiss on his little brow.
A rush of warmth went straight through her when she looked at the three Dillon men. The ones who really loved her. Her family.
She had people in her life who truly loved her.
Bailey didn't need anything more than that.
But she wished she understood that man a bit better than she did.
Chapter 70
She didn't know why she was standing out there. Bailey was heading to Finley Creek in the next two hours to meet with Kevin Beck and visit the crime scenes again. After that, she was heading back to the precinct. She hadn’t had a chance to talk to Jake about her other burning question.
Why did Clay feel the need to judge himself against Jake like he did? There had to be a reason, and she suspected Jake would know.
She’d needed to think. It was time she put things into perspective where Clay was concerned.
She was attracted to him. But there were good, valid reasons why anything more than the kiss they shared would be a really bad idea. Clay was right—he wasn’t the kind of man she wanted in her life right now.
He was too hard, too rough. Too complicated.
Just far too intense. Right now she needed easy in her life. Until she felt like her life was her own again, back in her control. Instead of the fates.
Clay wanted her. And that made the man push her away.
No. It couldn’t be a normal kind of attraction between them.
One thing she’d been absolutely certain of late last night was that she was just as attracted to him. Now.
She hadn’t been before the abduction by her father.
Bailey had felt too intimidated by Clay then. And she hadn’t been ready for anything with anyone back then. Just her job. And basic survival.
She’d focused so much on the TSP after she’d first transferred to Value’s post. It had been her goal all along. To get into the Value post, like her father.
Maybe to atone for what her father had done?
Maybe to just understand it.
She hadn’t counted on being attracted to the sheriff.
He couldn’t take her to dinner at the Barratt, or on a picnic, or anything normal like that. No, not him. That she’d done with other men she’d been interested in or who had been interested in her.
But Clay wasn’t like that.
Bailey had no idea what she was to do about him now. She’d felt so certain last night after talking with Jake that she had a handle on how she felt about Clay. About what to do next.
But at five a.m., things hadn’t seemed quite so clear. After about an hour of staring at the ceiling, she’d forced herself up and into the shower. She’d felt partially human again when she was finished.
But she hadn’t been ready to face Jake or Bert.
She’d had to get outside.
Before she’d realized where she was going, she was atop Becca’s Ridge. For hours.
It was a large outcropping of sandstone and mudstone boulders that some said formed the reclining profile of a woman. It was named for a young girl who had hidden in the caves beneath it when bandits and criminals were hunting her.
Becca's Ridge had used to be a place of excitement for her. Adventure. Of hope and possibilities and history.
Well, now it had the history.
A dead body had been hidden there. By the monster who had shot her.
Everything just kept coming around and around. Like invisible yarns tied her life together.
She’d never believed in string theory before. But sometimes she wondered.
There had been a dead body right there.
He’d been killed and left here as a way to make trouble for Bert.
Or so everyone thought.
Bailey believed it was because he’d just angered the leader of their gang enough to have that man snapping. And shooting first.
It was how Bailey had taken a bullet, too.
She had almost died not that far from there. She could almost see the place where Clay and Cam had found her. It was half a mile from where she stood, as the crow flew. But with the wild Texas landscape, she could almost see where she had lain.
Well-meaning people had left flowers in that spot. Townspeople who'd barely noticed she existed until the day she almost hadn't.
She still didn't know how she felt about those flowers and trinkets.
Bert had boxed them all up. Those for her and those for Kyra. Kyra’s flowers and trinkets had been left a bit closer to the road. Where the other woman had fallen after she’d been shot.
He had them in the garage somewhere. She thought. She hadn't asked. She probably never would. Bailey doubted she’d ever be able to look at them.
They had been taken care of before she and Kyra had gotten out of the hospital. Bert had made a point of taking care of everything he could. Of making things easier for the both of them.
Maybe that had been a mistake. Maybe...she needed to actually go there for herself.
She climbed to the top of the stone ridge. It wasn't super huge, just a collection of large rocks. She could see everything for a mile or so from the top.
She could see exactly where Clay had found her that day.
Where she had collapsed after escaping from her own father. She'd just kept going and going. The only thought she could remember was that if she'd stopped, Kyra would die.
S
he couldn't let Kyra die.
It had been all she could think about. Kyra hadn’t left Bailey down there in that mine to die alone. Bailey wasn’t about to leave Kyra.
Bailey didn't remember writing the message in the dirt with her own blood. Or of curling up next to a rock for some sort of shelter.
She didn't remember Clay picking her up and carrying her to help. Or the chopper ride. Or anything else.
She’d died on the table twice, but there had been no white light and floating memories for her.
All she remembered was the fear that Kyra was going to die.
That she was. She had been as good as dead. And she had known that.
But she hadn't wanted Kyra to die.
Because of that, they had both lived.
They'd lived.
She was living now. Getting herself back again. She couldn’t afford to let Clay confuse her like this any longer.
But she couldn’t let herself not live any longer, either.
As soon as they caught the man responsible for the Sandoval body, Bailey was going to talk to Elliot Marshall.
See how long it would take to get her transfer in to Finley Creek.
And then she’d tell Clay exactly how she felt.
Once she figured out just exactly how she felt.
Chapter 71
Clay had seriously messed up. He’d rolled out of bed early, the events of yesterday playing over and over in his mind. He’d acted like a total idiot with her. He owed her an apology—and he didn’t want it to be on TSP ground. It should be on her home turf. She deserved that much.
Bert nodded at him when Clay walked in the back door. “Breakfast in fifteen minutes. She’s out at the ridge. She has something on her mind. I suspect you do, too.”
“I’ll head out there in a minute.” And say what, he wasn’t sure. That he was sorry was the first thing. Anything else he’d just play by ear.
Jake rolled into the room. Instead of the greeting he expected, his friend shot him a look. One that told Clay Jake knew exactly how Clay had messed up. “Dad, can you take Liam for a minute? Clay and I need to have a talk.”
“Right. I’m sure you’ll know exactly what to say. Fifteen minutes. I’ve made Bailey’s favorite. Seems some people think we’ve been neglecting her.” Bert had a touch of anger in his words. Clay shot him a look. Bert just waved his hand then took Liam. “Veri called late last night. Worried about Bailey...and you. How’s the head?”
“Hard as a rock.”
“That’s the truth. Something’s got our girl upset. I’m assuming it’s more than just the case you’re working.” Bert never had been one to shy around what he wanted to say.
“I’ll handle it.” Three pairs of accusing green eyes stared at him. Even the baby seemed to blame Clay for whatever Bailey was upset about, scowling at Clay and kicking his feet.
Perceptive kid.
“First...” Jake said, meaningfully. “My office?”
Clay didn’t like taking orders from anyone. But he and Jake—Jake was the closest thing to a brother Clay would ever have. That came with obligations.
One of those obligations was listening to what the other man had to say.
Chapter 72
There were so many things Jake wanted to say to Clay. Instead, he started with something small. Then work his way up. “She was upset last night. What did you do?”
“It’s really none of your business, Jake.” Clay’s attention kept straying toward the ridge. They couldn’t see Bailey yet, but Jake had watched her head from his bedroom window not even ten minutes earlier.
“No? Forget where you’re standing?” Jake knew this man almost as well as he knew himself. They’d been friends for almost three decades now. He knew what Clay wasn’t saying. “You’re afraid. Of her. Of what she makes you feel.”
“I’m not a damned coward.”
“I’m not saying you are. Hell, Clay. You’re human. If you had to know this time was coming. Man was not made to go through life alone.”
“What in the hell are you talking about?”
“I’m saying that women like her come into our lives the moment we’re not truly ready, and they take over every thought we have. Even in our dreams...” Jake wasn’t certain he was still speaking about Bailey and Clay. He’d had some pretty intense dreams himself last night. Dreams that involved a certain physical therapist. Unlike Clay, Jake had never been a coward where women he wanted were concerned. “We can push them away and spend the rest of our lives alone. Or we can get off our asses—metaphorically, for guys like me, of course—and go after what we want. You can’t spend the next forty-something years alone. That won’t exactly be fun.”
After he and Bailey had talked, Jake had done some hard thinking of his own. He wasn’t attracted to Bailey. Not intensely enough, anyway. He loved her. But he would never be in love with her.
But Jake wasn’t prepared to spend the rest of his life alone, either. He wanted that intense flame that burned between lovers—like he saw with his sister and Cam.
“You know where I come from.”
“You’re not your father, Clay. Any more than I’m mine.” Jake shot a look toward the ridge, as a familiar blond head popped up over the first boulder. Bailey was climbing up to the top. She’d be able to see for miles up there. He watched as she settled on that rock, facing east. “Any more than she is hers.”
“And if I hurt her?”
That was Clay’s biggest fear—and Jake knew it. Understood as only someone who had seen the world Clay grew up in. The first time Clay had ever argued with a girlfriend, Clay had ended the relationship immediately.
Afraid of himself.
He’d mellowed a bit through the years with women—thankfully. Clay would never physically hurt a woman. Jake knew that better than probably Clay did.
But Clay was so terrified of loving a woman it was keeping him from having any damned kind of life at all.
“Then I’ll kill you. I told her that last night after I kissed her.”
Clay jerked his head toward him. Jake smiled. Clay was so predictable sometimes.
"Hell, yes, I kissed her. And I damned well enjoyed it." He had. He and Bailey had laughed for ten minutes over it. Jake smirked at the man who had been his closest friend since he'd been eight and the two of them had ganged up and beat the shit out of that little punk who had been tormenting Micah Hanan. The three had been fast friends ever since. He felt more than comfortable giving the ass the run around.
He had suspected how Clay felt about Bailey since the day Clay had carried her to the ambulance in his own arms. No one had missed the photos that had been plastered everywhere of the pair. Jake certainly hadn't. And the look in Clay's eyes when he talked about her—it was enough to tell its own story.
But Clay was too afraid to act on it.
"Why wouldn't a guy enjoy her? She's perfect. Everything a man would be beyond lucky to get into his life." He meant every word he said. Any guy would be lucky to have Bailey in his life, his bed.
It just wasn't going to be Jake. He'd known that the instant his lips had touched hers. She just wasn't meant for him.
And he wasn't about to poach on his best buddy's girl. Even if his buddy was too stupid to recognize the gift in front of him.
"And you got her right where you want her. Out there just down the hall. Taking care of your kid. Taking care of you. Your daddy probably gives her whatever she wants the instant she smiles. And why wouldn't he, you, do that? Bailey’s exactly where she belongs now. It’s probably only a matter of damned time."
At the clear torment in Clay's words, Jake's smile faded.
The idiot really was tearing himself up over something that just wasn’t true.
Clay always had been stubborn as a mule when he got an idea in his head. Especially a wrong one. Sometimes it took a sledge hammer to get that idea out of his head. Jake had often been that sledgehammer.
"Why the hell won't you just do something about how you feel?
Tell her. Take her to the Barratt in Finley Creek and keep her there for three days. Keep her naked the whole time. Make her understand how you feel about her, damn it." Even as he spoke, Jake knew Clay wasn't going to do it. Clay had spent years hiding how he felt about women from him and Micah. Some weird belief having to do with Clay’s father, and Clay just not being good enough for some women. The fear he’d hurt the woman who mattered most.
But this...was the idiot hiding how he felt about her from himself, too?
Jake bit back a sigh of irritation. He was going to have to do something about Clay’s latest idiocy. Before his friend screwed everything up for him and Bailey. "What are you waiting for, Clay?"
"Shut up, Dillon. It's not ever going to happen."
"Why not?" Clay was the best man Jake knew. He'd been there for Jake countless times. During some of the darkest days of Jake's life. That hadn't changed.
Bailey was exactly the kind of woman Clay needed to show him that life wasn’t quite as dark as Clay had always thought it was. More than that, Clay loved her. For not the first time, Jake mentally cursed Clay’s parents for what they’d done to Clay.
"Because it's just not. I'm not the kind of man Bailey needs. You are. Treat her the way she deserves to be treated." Clay stood abruptly.
Idiot. Total and complete idiot. No surprise. A woman like Bailey could scramble every brain a man had. "I'm not involved with Bailey, Clay. I never have been. Something for you to keep in mind. Talk to her. Really talk to her. You might be surprised by what you figure out. If you think I’m good enough for her, then why the hell aren’t you?"
Chapter 73
Clay knew he’d been a total asshole. His only excuse was that his defenses had been down. He’d lain awake most of the night with her on his mind.
Clay saw her silhouette against the morning sun the instant she climbed atop that damned ridge. It seemed wrong to see Bailey in a place where they'd had a dead body all that long ago.
Holding the Truth Page 19
