by Blair, E. K.
The house is quiet when I roll out of bed and step into the hallway. When I crack open Kate’s door and peek inside, I find her curled up in her sheets, still sound asleep. Deciding not to wake her, I close her door and head down the hall, passing Audrina’s room on my way to the stairs. There’s no question that girl is still out cold.
“Morning,” Steve says when I walk into the kitchen. He’s standing by the coffee pot, wearing workout gear, and pouring sugar into his mug.
“I didn’t think anyone was up yet.”
“I hit the gym religiously at five thirty every morning.” Grazing the spoon along the rim of his cup before setting it on the counter, he tells me, “Mugs are up there.”
I pull one from the cabinet and pour myself some coffee.
“Did you sleep well?”
“Yeah,” I lie. After leaving Kate’s room, I found myself tossing and turning for most of the night, wrestling with these damn feelings she’s managed to bring to life.
“Come on; let’s go out back.”
I follow him through the quiet house and out to the large terrace that overlooks the expansive lawn.
“How late were you guys up last night? I’m surprised the girls are still asleep.”
“Not too late. Around midnight,” I tell him when I take a seat in one of the chairs.
“I think the three of them are spending the morning together before you head back to Miami.”
“That’s what Kate said.”
“You up for a few hours of surfing?” he suggests.
“Yeah, man. I’m always up for hitting the water.”
Steve nods and takes a drink before setting his mug on the wicker coffee table. Leaning back in his chair, he asks, “So, Kate hasn’t told me much about you. When did the two of you meet?”
“We actually met freshman year.”
“That long ago?” he notes, and when he leans forward and rubs his palms together, he asks, “So, you knew Caleb?”
His name catches me off guard because I have no idea what this guy knows about Kate’s ex, so I tell myself to tread carefully. “Yeah, unfortunately.”
He nods as he looks down for a second. “Unfortunately?”
“I never liked the guy.”
He reaches for his mug and takes another sip before turning and giving me a look of no bullshit—a look of a protective father who’s ready to drill me.
“Kate won’t talk about what happened between them, which doesn’t sit well with me,” he says. “The fact that she felt the need to run back here after they broke up was troubling—it still is. I just want to make sure she’s okay.”
“She’s doing better.”
“Better?”
It’s understandable that he would want to know what happened, but it isn’t my place to tell him. “Look, I don’t want to say too much because I don’t want to betray her trust, but between us, that guy was a total dickfuck.”
“In general or to her?”
“Both.”
He drops his head and squeezes his hands together. “I’m typically good at reading people. He seemed like a nice enough kid when I met him.”
“Nah, man,” I say. “He was far from a nice guy.”
He lifts his eyes and peers over at me. “What about you? Do I need to be worried?”
“I’d be worried about any guy who comes into her life, but that’s only because I care about her.”
“Good answer.” He kicks his legs up onto the coffee table and leans back. “Do I still need to be concerned about her?”
“No. She’s getting past it,” I tell him because it’s the truth. Ever since she started opening up more, I’ve seen a huge shift. That isn’t to say she still doesn’t have moments when the memories come crashing down. But there are fewer and fewer of those as time passes. It isn’t because she’s ignoring them, either. It’s because she’s dealing with the damage Caleb did and slowly allowing herself to heal.
“Has she talked to you about any of this?”
“It took her a while, but yeah, she’s talked to me about it.”
“Anything I need to know?”
The concern is written all over his face, and I can’t blame him. I don’t know what things were like for her after the breakup, but from the look in his eyes as he asks about his daughter, I get the sense that it was pretty bad, which sends a sharp pang through my chest.
“I don’t think there’s much to worry about now.”
“You’ll let me know if there is.” It isn’t a question as much as a demand, and I give him a consenting nod before he adds, “I’ve got my eyes on you.”
And for the first time, I see the cop in him. I smirk and ask, “What, are you going to pull a background check on me or something?”
“I already have.” He takes another sip from his mug, and I laugh.
“Didn’t expect me to be so squeaky clean, did you?” I joke.
He chuckles and shakes his head. “It’s what you’ve managed to keep off your record that I’m more curious about.”
“You plan on having me followed?”
“Like I said, I’ll be keeping my eyes on you.”
“Fair enough.” I nod and then we settle into a comfortable silence as we finish our coffee before heading inside.
While I’m refilling my mug, Kate comes down the stairs with a cardboard box in her arms.
“What do you have there, sweetheart?” her father asks.
“An old box of junk that was in my closet. I’m just throwing it away,” she tells him as she heads out into the garage.
Steve claps my shoulder. “Be ready to go in fifteen minutes.”
He heads to his room, and when Kate comes back inside, she says, “You’re up early. What have you been doing?”
“Just hanging out with your dad.”
“He isn’t giving you a hard time, is he?”
“Nah,” I respond when she slips her hands under the hem of my T-shirt and wraps her arms around me. I take her head in my palms and drop a kiss onto her forehead. “I need to get ready.”
“Where are you going?”
“Surfing with your father.”
“Sounds fun. I’m jealous.” She grins and fixes herself a cup of coffee before we head upstairs. “I’m going to jump in the shower real fast,” she tells me as I head into the guest room and throw on my board shorts.
As I’m tossing my things into my backpack, I grab my leash and notice it’s beginning to fray. I go to Kate’s room to see if she has an extra I can borrow in case mine snaps. When I round the bed to where her dad’s boards are leaning against the wall, I stop and stare down at the pillows, which are still indented from where she slept on them. The first time I was in her room feels like a lifetime ago, and I wonder how different things would be if I had felt for her back then what I feel for her now.
I could’ve spared her the nightmare she wound up living through.
“What are you doing?” she asks when she steps out of the bathroom, wearing nothing but a towel as her hair drips water onto her shoulders.
“Shit, you need to throw some clothes on.”
“That’s what I’m doing.” She walks over to her suitcase and flips the lid open.
“Hey,” I say, watching her rifle through her things. “You remember that time, freshman year, when you faked that headache to get me into bed with you?”
After grabbing some clothes, she rights herself and glares at me. “That’s a stretch.”
I drop my smile when I think about everything that went down after that day we had at the beach—how everything went south.
“What’s wrong?”
I shake my head to expel the thoughts, but they stick anyway as she walks over to me. “I should’ve made a move on you.”
“You were too busy chasing bunnies.”
And she’s right. I was so busy trying to get my dick wet that I let her go and fall for that cunt, Caleb. Could’ve, would’ve, should’ves breed regret, and when I hang my head, she presses a
gentle palm against my cheek. “What is it?”
“Nothing,” I tell her as my stomach sinks in disgust for my own actions. There’s no doubt that, had we hooked up, it would’ve been the end of our friendship. The fact that we never went there is probably the only reason we were able to build what we have now.
Leaning in, I kiss her and push my hand through her wet hair as she moves her soft lips against mine. I could stand here and taste her all day and never grow tired, but her dad is waiting, so I force myself to pull away.
“I’ll see you later?”
She smiles and nods before I head out. Tossing my bag over my shoulders, I run into Audrina when she comes out of her room.
“What’s up?” I say while taking in her messy hair that looks like a fucking rat’s nest.
She stands in her doorway and stares at me with a perplexed expression before her face softens into clarity. “Your eyes are two different colors.”
I smile and clap my hand against the side of her arm with a proud, “It was a good high, wasn’t it?”
As soon as I see the hint of a smile, I nod and head downstairs to meet Steve. After everything is loaded into my Jeep, we drive out to Juno Beach and kill the rest of the morning and half the afternoon in the water.
When he notices I’m struggling with my bottom turn technique, he offers his knowledge and instructs, “You need to squat lower and try digging the inside rail in more than what you’re doing.”
His advice pays off on my next ride.
When we aren’t throwing down tricks, we wade on our boards and shoot the shit, getting to know each other better. It’s cool to be able to come out here with him. I’ve never had a real father figure in my life, and although he isn’t mine, he exudes a strong paternal vibe that I’m drawn to. It makes him an easy guy to want to be around.
As we drive back to the house, he tells me, “Make sure Kate brings you the next time she visits.”
When we get back, Kate already has her things packed, so I take a quick shower and load our bags into my Jeep. Her family comes outside, and her mom gives me a hug and tells me how much she enjoyed the visit. Then I hang back and watch Kate give her sister a teary goodbye. The girls won’t see each other for a while since Audrina is about to spend a year in England, and I know Kate is upset about it.
Steve pulls me in for a bro hug and gives my back a hard pat, saying, “You better take good care of my daughter.”
I clap his hand and shake it. “No worries, man.”
The drive down to Miami flies by without much talk at all, and when we get back to Kate’s condo, the sun is starting to set. “Why don’t you park in the garage and stay the night?” Kate asks, and it’s an offer I won’t ever refuse.
We drop everything on the floor by her door and drag ourselves into her room. Too tired to even think about dinner, we lie down and she curls up in my arms with a heavy sigh.
“You tired?”
“A little,” she says.
Taking her hand, I pull it and wrap her arm around me. She nestles her head in the crook of my neck, and everything feels right. Falling for this girl was scary as shit, but it wasn’t like I had any control over it. This was never what I thought I wanted, but the more time passed, the harder it became for me to want anything else. Now, it’s as if my whole world rights itself when I have her in my arms, and I’m in deeper than I thought I was capable of.
“Your heart’s pounding,” she murmurs, and I feel it in my chest because that’s what she does to me.
She draws back slightly and rests her head next to mine. When I shift to my side, I stare into her eyes and swear I feel something inside me amplify. Nervous and unsure of what to do or what to say because I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, I fumble. I don’t know how to tell her the things that are racing through me. I’m not even sure if she’s ready to hear me try.
“What are you thinking about?” she asks, but fear annihilates any chance of conjuring a coherent thought, so I kiss her instead.
As I pull her against me, a war brews inside my chest, causing my anxiety to burst and triggering my pulse to ramp up. Being this close to her has me in a tailspin, and I wish I could just fucking relax.
She senses my tension and parts her lips from mine, breathing a soft, “Hey.”
Letting go of a long sigh, I rest my forehead against hers as she combs her fingers through my hair.
“What’s going on?”
I’m dangling off the edge of a cliff; that’s what’s going on.
It’s a terrifying excitement I’m unable to temper, and I’m scared to let her know how I feel because I’m not sure how she’ll react.
“You have to help me out here because I don’t know what the hell I’m doing,” I admit with so much uncertainty.
“What do you mean?”
Restless, I roll on top of her, and she runs her hands over my shoulders.
“You have me feeling so many crazy things that I don’t know how to make sense of them.”
Her brows cinch slightly as she grows timid.
“Tell me I’m not alone.”
Slowly, she shakes her head, and when I lift my chest and sit back on my heels, she pushes herself up with me.
“You scare the shit out of me,” I confess.
“Why?”
“Because . . .” Battling my thoughts, I go ahead and throw them out there since I don’t think I can possibly go another day holding all this in. “Because I never thought I would fall this hard for you, and I don’t know how to tell you what I’m feeling.”
It wasn’t too long ago that Kate told me how scared she was to let herself be vulnerable with me. I didn’t have the balls to tell her that I felt the same way then, but I’m trying to now.
“I’m scared I’m going to fuck this up,” I reveal.
“I won’t let you.”
It’s exactly what I need to hear, and it gives me the courage to take her in my hands and finally say what’s been building for a while. “I think I’m in love with you.”
The moment the words are out, her eyes shut for a moment, and when she opens them, they’re rimmed in tears. “I already know I’m in love with you,” she whispers heavily, and fuck if she didn’t just strike a match and toss it onto all the doubt I’ve been battling.
She pushes onto her knees so that she’s in front of me, and then she kisses me with so much fervency it feels like I’m being sanctified. My grip on her tightens, needing more, and she gives it to me, dipping her sweet tongue into my mouth and caressing it against mine. There is no comparison to what this girl does to me, and when she finally draws back, I watch in awe as she peels off her top. God damn, she’s perfect. Reaching back, I rip off my shirt and toss it to the floor before dropping my mouth to hers, tasting a love I never thought existed for me, only to find that it does, and it’s all within her.
I lay her back on the bed and find myself moving in a way that’s completely new for me—with meaningful intentions. It’s hard to hold back when it comes to her, but she does nothing to slow me when I slip my hand beneath her and unhook her bra. Before I can remove it, she slides it down her arms and drops it to the floor, adding it to the pile. She stares up at me, exposed and with no bashfulness at all. Seeing her like this, bare and lying beneath me, has me completely shot to pieces.
She pulls me down, and I take her nipple in my mouth. Last night, she pushed me away, but this time, she pulls me closer as she tugs on my hair. Rolling my tongue over her, I almost fucking lose it when her skin tightens and hardens in my mouth. I take my time because I can’t even imagine rushing this.
Her breaths kick up when I slide down her body and unzip her shorts. She lifts her hips, inviting me to pull them off, and when I do, I push her thighs apart. As soon as my tongue is on her, she exhales the sexiest moan, and I lose myself between her legs. She’s so soft in my mouth.
Heat radiates in my chest and spirals its way through my body, and when she pulls me back up to her, she kisses m
e deeply, tasting what I taste. Her hands find the zipper to my shorts, and when there’s nothing left separating us and we’re skin on skin, I hover over her as she stares up into my eyes with a sincerity that rips right through me.
I struggle to breathe.
I didn’t plan for this to happen, and I realize I’m not prepared. “I don’t have anything.”
“It’s okay. I’m on the pill.”
I can tell she’s lost in the moment and not thinking, so I feel the need to assure her, “I’m clean. I always use protection.”
She nods as she reaches down, takes me in her hand, and starts to stroke me.
“Fuck.”
My elbows weaken, and I drop down to them, kissing her neck, while she runs her warm hand along my dick. When she starts to guide me into her, I swear my heart ricochets against my ribs.
My head drops to hers as I slowly sink in deeper, and everything about this moment feels completely different from all the others in the past. For the first time, I don’t want to fuck just to get off. Never have emotions been involved like they are now, and I’m finding it difficult to keep myself from falling apart as I start to move my hips.
I watch the flush spread over her skin as she moves with me, and she couldn’t possibly be any more beautiful. “God, you’re perfect.”
Her lips lift in a subtle smile before I thrust deeper and steal it away. She moans in pleasure, closing her eyes and pressing her hands into my back, urging me on. I give her everything she’s wanting out of me, and when she breathes an emotional, “I love you,” I nearly lose my shit.
She hugs her body to mine, moving with me, and I fucking love it. As I work her higher and higher, her ragged gasps grow. When her rhythm begins to falter, I know she’s close, and damn it, I’m doing everything not to let myself go just yet because I want to make her feel everything she’s making me feel.
She looks at me as if I’m her everything and reaches for my hand to hold. She clutches it tightly as her eyes fill with tears, and I kiss her slowly and deeply, making sure that she knows she’s safe with me. I doubt anyone could love her more.
Using my other hand, I slip it behind her neck and pull her up to me, lifting her shoulders slightly off the bed because I need her closer, even if it is just an inch.
