Cornelia is one of the only people in this world who I know that can put her feelings for someone to the side in order to support them when they need it the most. But just because I need it doesn’t mean that I deserve it. It’s not my ego that’s stopping me from begging her to stay. It’s my guilt.
The cop seems a little agitated by her request, but he doesn’t decline.
“I’ll need to talk to the family first,” he says.
She straightens her back at that and her hand moves up to pull a lock of hair behind her ear. “Yes. Of course. Sorry. I... Of course.” Just like me, she’d discounted that little part of things, knowing just like I do, that there isn’t a fucking reason why anyone should ever want to tell my mom or my stepdad anything about the children neither of them wanted.
“I completely understand,” she continues. “I don’t have my phone on me so... I just...When we get there, if I could call my mom.”
The cop doesn’t ask her why she doesn’t ask to use mine. Initially, he was of the impression that we were friends. Right now, however, after my little outburst, he knows that that isn’t the case.
“Yes, of course,” he tells her, and I can hear a breath of relief leave her lungs.
I’m such an ass. Isn’t now a good time for a change? I killed my sister to protect Cornelia. What sense is it if I continue to push her away?
I reach into my back pocket and pull out my cellphone. Instead of handing it to her, like an ass, I toss it in her direction. It lands close to her, but doesn’t touch her. I know that she’s not oblivious to the fact that I’ve just offered up my phone. Even then, she doesn’t make a move to take it. I’ve managed to piss her off, that much is clear. Still, I leave the phone there and it sits in that spot until we’ve arrived in the piece of shit run down building that I live in but can’t call a home.
Cornelia exits the vehicle. “I’m sorry about your sister,” she says, but nothing more.
Chapter Three
With Sheila and Giles finally gone, the house felt much better. I was sad to see Sheila go, but Phee had been right. If I planned on winning she wouldn’t be the only friendly face I said goodbye to.
I spent less time hanging out with Phee and Tammy and more time simply existing with Maddox. His presence was a salve after the storm of Marcus and most of our days were spent lazing around in bed and talking when we weren’t doing something for the show and late-night swims.
We learned so much about each other during that time. We saw the beautiful, and got glimpses of the not so beautiful. With Maddox, there was never an ugly and the more time I spent with him, the more I thought that the ugly would never come.
He and I might have been made from a different mold, but even then, we fit so impossibly perfectly together that it was hard to shake the thought that fate had something to do with us finding our way to each other.
I’d never felt more at peace than I did with him. Never been happier either. I should have known better than to think that this one good thing could last forever. I should have been cautious. Or maybe, for once, I was living life just the way I should have been – tackling it head on without fear or hesitation.
The weeks that followed felt like the calm before a storm.
The trials became less intense and once everyone got over the initial hurdle, having the exes in the house was simply a regular part of our day. Especially for Maddox and I. Phee seemed unconcerned by the presence of the adoring young man that had been brought here on her account, but Pete was almost as tense as he’d been when we first moved in. As for me, I didn’t have a thing to worry about. The only parts of Marcus – who wasn’t my ex by any stretch of the imagination – that remained, were the ones that would drift into my mind ever so often. But even those thoughts didn’t last for as long as they could have because Maddox was always there, smoothing over every rough patch without realizing he was doing a thing.
I took Phee’s advice and stayed out of their potential drama, though with only two couples in the house, it was only a matter of time before something had to give. After all, we couldn’t both win.
Which is why, when Maddox and I walked through the front door, arms laden with groceries after a day spent at the supermarket, my heart leapt into my throat at the sight of all the extra cameras. Unless they were filming a trial, the show kept a skeleton crew. Seeing so many of them in one place was a sure sign that the producers had something big planned.
I felt panic. The kind that grips you by the throat with no intention of letting go.
“What’s going on?”
Robert turned and winced at the sight of us. “I swear you two have the worst timing.” He nodded for the stylists finishing up with Pete and Phee to converge on the two of us. “Hair and make-up will go ahead and get you set up now. But once they’re through you’ll need to wait upstairs until we’re ready for you.”
I swallowed hard against the lump that was slowly getting bigger and growing more prominent in my throat.
“Are we doing interviews today?” I asked, shocked that words could still find their way through.
Robert shifted something that tried, but failed to look like a smile, on his face. I frowned, relinquishing my half of the grocery bags gratefully. I loved shopping. Putting everything away was another matter and today, especially, I had no desire to linger downstairs any longer than I had to. The atmosphere in the house was off. It felt like a trial day and yet we were being pulled aside in pairs like they sometimes did for interviews. Except, there were a shit load of cameras, Roberts shaky smile and a mountain of secrecy. My hackles stood on end even as I smiled at the make-up artist, Bethany, that had been in charge of my aesthetic since the wedding.
Maddox winked at me as he was dragged away by his own hair and make-up personnel and I couldn’t shake the feeling that something awful was about to happen.
“Don’t look so nervous.” I glanced up at Beth in surprise. We didn’t talk much. Or rather, I didn’t talk much. It was hard to carry a conversation when someone was applying your lipliner and foundation. Beth chattered enough for the both of us, but I didn’t hold it against her. If most of my days consisted of hovering less than an inch from a stranger’s face, awkward conversation would be the least of my crimes.
“It’s sort of hard not to,” I managed once she stepped back to eye my highlight. She made a face like a fish and I obliged the silent command by sucking in my cheeks to accent my cheekbones.
“I get it,” she continued. “It must be hard not knowing what to expect from day to day. Just know that we’re rooting for you guys?”
I stopped myself from frowning just in time. “We?”
She indicated the crew behind me, and I risked a quick glance.
“Most of us anyway. There are a few bets riding on Phee, but the majority of us are hoping you and Maddox will pull through.” She smiled at me like we’d been long-time friends.
“Why?” Her support was touching but I was genuinely confused.
She wrinkled her nose. “Come on,” she said and leaned in to whisper. “It’s not every day there’s someone like us on a show like this. Most of the time the women on these shows are tall, skinny, and perfect. Which is a shame, really. I was reading up on an article the other day announcing the new contestants for that dating show. You know the one with the guy who wears a suit all the time and hands out flowers? You line all those girls up and they’re basically clones of one another. But you…” She shrugged and stepped back to admire her handiwork. “Well, like I said, we’re rooting for you.”
Great.
I was either the underdog or a symbol of diverse feminism.
Maybe even a little of both.
“Thanks.” I forced a smile and vogued a little. “How do I look?”
I could have been wrong, but I was sure she teared up. This is what adulthood was like – people acknowledged differences in a way that didn’t make you feel like an outcast. There were so many shapes and shades to beauty and the last place
I would have ever expected any of that to be praised was on a show like this. But here we were. The world really was spinning off its axis, wasn’t it? Not that I was complaining.
“Beautiful,” Beth said thickly. Not long after, I was ushered upstairs, and meandered into Maddox’s room to wait. Since he was basically perfect, I only expected another minute or so to pass before he joined me. But twenty minutes later and he still had not shown up. I was starting to get nervous and worried when a knock brought me surging to my feet like a bullet out of a shotgun.
It was Robert and he looked more solemn than usual. That wasn’t a good thing. Jesus, did I know it. But nothing at all could prepare me for what the hell was going on and I couldn’t exactly read the words on his face.
I stepped forward.
“You ready?”
My brows rose. “I’m not sure. It’s hard to mentally prepare when I don’t know what I’m about to walk myself into.”
He sighed and held the door open, indicating that I should take the lead.
“If I thought it would help make this easier, I would have given you all a head’s up.”
Butterflies danced nervously in my middle, but even then, I managed to smile.
“I doubt that. It would take all the drama out of reality television, wouldn’t it?”
Robert snorted and knowing that there would be no help from that direction, I concentrated on making my way down the stairs one step at a time. My feet didn’t want to carry me, but I was pushing, regardless.
Where was Maddox?
Where the hell was Maddox?
I should have seen him by now. What was the point in separating the two of us? Nerves brought my teeth to my bottom lip and the skin bruised in protest. I was a mess without even knowing what was going on. It was almost pathetic.
The thought that something happened to him rushed to my mind and I tried my best to shut it out. It wouldn’t have made any sense. None at all. It wasn’t too long ago that I had seen him. It wasn’t too long ago that we’d both walked in with our hands loaded with groceries and rushed off to get our makeup done. If he’d fallen and broken his neck on the way up and down the stairs, I would have known. So yeah, I was pretty sure he was fine, so what the hell was I panicking about?
The living room came into sight and even from the hall I could see the lights and boom mikes set up. Awesome. They’d gone all out. Stepping into the room, my eyes fell on Maddox immediately. He was fine. No need to worry.
Like I thought, there hadn’t been much for hair and make-up to do and other than a trim to get his black hair back to its usual Clark Kent perfection, he looked relatively untouched. I sat next to him, offering a nervous smile and he reached out and cupped the side of my face. He turned me so that I was facing away from the cameras and with the edge of his sleeve urged my lips apart. I flushed as I realized he was cleaning lipstick from my teeth.
“Am I good?” I whispered, and he nodded, pressing his lips against my own in a kiss all too brief.
“Perfect. As always,” he said and his voice was just as genuine as it always was. When it came to Maddox, it wasn’t hard to believe that he loved absolutely every part of me; that when he saw me, fireworks went off in his head just as loudly as they went off in mine.
“Everyone ready?”
Robert checked something on his iPad and nodded. “We’re good.”
“Action in three…two…one.”
With a silent wave of the cameraman’s arm, Robert put on his trademark host’s grin and strode into the room under the watchful eye of the crew.
“I’m glad the two of you were able to make it today,” he said. He had his fingers weaved together and his hands nestled in his lap.
Maddox and I exchanged glances and he recovered first. “We’re happy to be here.”
Robert nodded but not as if he were pleased by the answer.
“As you’re both aware by now, the show has made a lot of changes this season,” he continued, and boy was that the truth.
The cameras closed in as Robert took a seat before us and placed his iPad in his lap.
“This year we’re implementing a session called the Baggage Reveal.” His lips formed a thin line. “Secrets can be the Achilles heel of any relationship, no matter how strong. When your spouse hasn’t been fully honest, it falls back on a solid foundation and real emotion to overcome the pain of deception.” My throat felt tight and the hand I’d stretched out towards Maddox hesitated.
To my horror, Robert shifted in his seat to face me. “Cornelia, over the past few months we’ve had a team of private investigators digging into the pasts of each of you. Some of you had nothing to hide. Others revealed their secrets on their own accord and were able to work through them and move forward with their relationships. Others struggled to accept the baggage and decided that the best thing to do would be to part ways.” He smiled slightly. I knew which category I fell into. My life was an open book. There really was nothing that needed to be covered up and shoveled into the mud. When Robert’s eyes met Maddox, his expression hardened, and his lips thinned into a straight line. Like a puppet at the command of its master, I turned to my husband as well. “Of course, there are those who not only continued lying, but don’t seem inclined to reveal the truth any time soon.”
Maddox stared straight ahead, his eyes like granite. Despite my initial reluctance I reached for his hand and squeezed. A muscle in his jaw began to jump which caused my heart to jump right along with it. Maddox was my rock, yes. But in that moment, it became very clear that there was a difference between being someone’s rock and turning as rigid as stone.
“You had no right,” he growled and Robert sat back. My heart jumped again, but this time, it didn’t have a chance of settling in my chest. Instead, it wavered in my throat, thumping hard and painfully.
“She deserves to know who she’s married to, don’t you think?” Robert said.
I contemplated in that moment whether or not to just pick up my feet and hightail it out of here. Some secrets were better left unheard, weren’t they? I was happy. I was growing. I was becoming a woman who not only knew how to love herself, but also, how to allow another to love her wholly. I didn’t need the rug pulled from under me.
“I would have told her myself,” Maddox grunted and despite the power behind his words, I couldn’t help but notice how much of a lie they sounded like.
Again, my two options presented themselves. Stay and possibly have my world ripped to threads or leave and forget this entire conversation. What you don’t know can’t hurt you, after all. The only problem was, my mind was spinning faster than a windmill in a storm. I’d spent my entire life living with secrets that didn’t have truths. Who my real parents were. Whether or not they had ever loved me. Why the only friends I’d ever had suddenly turned their backs on me. What Marcus thought he was protecting me from. And now this.
Robert grimaced. “You had ample opportunity,” he said, matching Maddox gaze for gaze. “Unfortunately, the decision is no longer in your hands.”
“What if I don’t want to know?” I interrupted. I was afraid, deathly so, that whatever Robert was about to tell me would change everything.
Robert shook his head and his gaze softened. “That’s not an option.” When he saw that I wasn’t going to argue any further, he glanced down at the iPad. “What do you know about the Westbrooks?” he asked.
The way he said it was odd and it brought me up short. ‘The Westbrooks’ as if Maddox and his family were important. As if I should recognize the surname off the top of my-
My eyes widened, and I snatched my hand away with a gasp.
Of course I’d heard of the Westbrooks. But it was one of those names that never seemed to have a correlation in my day to day life. The Westbrooks were a franchise. Hotel chains all over the world, restaurants, clothing lines, and everything in between. Old money that was so ingrained in society that it had become background noise. It was like meeting someone who’s last name was ‘Jac
kson’ or ‘Winfrey’ and assuming they were automatically related to Michael and Oprah.
“What does-” My breath wouldn’t come. “Why…he can’t be.” I was shaking my head repeatedly, but Maddox made no move to respond. It was Robert who confirmed my worst fears.
“Maddox is the son of Gregory Westbrook,” he said and I just about turned to steel.
My mind spun faster now, throwing so many things at me all at once that it was hard to straighten my thoughts out. Still, somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew that that wasn’t the end of all of this. So what if Maddox was from some wealthier than thou family? Many girls would have been over the moon by a reveal like that. That didn’t exactly change things between us, did it? Except I knew. Deep down, I just knew that there was so much more to this than that. A man as wealthy as Maddox on a show like this? It didn’t make a lick of sense.
“In fact,” Robert continued, playing the showman’s angle as he prepared himself to drop another bomb on the top of my head. “He’s the heir apparent of the entire Westbrook fortune.”
The room was spinning and I felt like I was going to throw up. I swayed in my seat and only Maddox’s hand, warm and heavy on the back of my neck, steadied me. But should it have?
“Shut up,” Maddox snapped. “If you’re going to spout that bullshit you might as well get it right.”
I gripped him by the wrist, unsure if I wanted to rip his hand away or hold him still.
“Tell me,” I demanded, proud that I was able to speak past the constriction in my throat. “Everything.”
Maddox was silent for so long that Robert shifted uncomfortably. Just when I thought he wasn’t going to speak, he sighed and straightened.
“I’m supposed to be the heir apparent,” he said finally. “But dear old dad thinks I’m a piece of shit. Not that I blame him,” he said, smiling sardonically. “Instead of learning about the company I’ve spent the last ten years fucking, drinking, and getting arrested. Not necessarily in that order. I thought the tattoo shop would be enough to prove to him that I’d changed but… I should have known better, I guess. I mean, a tattoo shop isn’t exactly the kind of thing a man like him takes seriously.” Maddox shrugged.
Morally Imperfect: A Bully Romance (The Bully Project Book 2) Page 3
