by Erin Zak
“Move to Chicago,” she says, her voice laced with a level of happiness I didn’t know existed.
I laugh. “What?”
“Seriously. I know you love Vegas. I know you do. But I love you, Francesca. I love who I am when I’m with you. And I want you with me. I want to start a life with you. And you could start a life with me there. You could go to school, and we could be happy.”
“Cecily—”
“I know it’s crazy. But aren’t we a little crazy if we don’t see where this could go?”
I nod. “Yes. I mean, yes, we’re crazy.”
She laughs. “I know. We totally are.” She takes my hand. “If you hate it, and me, I will pay to move you wherever you want to go.”
“I would never hate you.”
“You might hate Chicago.”
“I doubt it.” I squeeze her hand. “But if I move there, listen to me, I don’t want us to move in together right away.”
“Who’s saying I would let you move in right away?”
I start laughing. “Oh, well, okay then!”
“Don’t count your chickens before they hatch, my dear.” She shrugs, a smile on her face the entire time. “I sort of like having the condo to myself.”
“I understand that.” And I do. Ever since the boys moved in, I’ve been itching to find somewhere to hide out. I love them and love having them around, but my own personal space is no more, and I miss it.
“Let’s be real, you’ll be over as often as possible.”
“Probably.”
Cecily leans in, props an elbow on the table, and places her palm under her chin. “You’d really consider moving to Chicago?”
“I don’t think I could let this slip through my hands again.”
“Which part?”
“You. Happiness. Us.”
She licks her lips and I find myself staring at her, wanting to devour her. “Can we go back up to the room?”
I stand without answering and grab her hand. I refuse to let any more time pass without taking advantage of her, naked, during the few hours we have left together.
Epilogue
Francesca
I shiver as the front door slams shut. “Jesus, it is freezing out there!”
“I kept telling you Chicago is cold, but you didn’t believe me,” Cecily shouts from the living room. I shrug off my coat and hang it on the hooks next to the door. After I kick my boots off and slide my feet into the slippers Cecily put by the door for me, I catch my reflection in the mirror on the wall in the foyer.
It’s been five years since I moved here.
Five years filled with laughter. We’ve found our senses of humor align perfectly. She makes me laugh so hard my belly aches. I make her laugh so hard she blows milk from her nose.
I moved in fairly quickly, but then we found a house together. We needed the space for visitors. Max and Armando are here constantly since Armando works as a traveling welder. He has made a life for the two of them. Max doesn’t even need to work any longer.
The years since we moved in together have also been filled with tears because I made the stupid decision to go to college to become a nurse. While it has definitely been fulfilling, I feel as if I’m forever frazzled. Cecily says it’s a good look for me. I have to argue with her every time.
“Don’t you think these balloons are a little overkill?” I walk into the living room and take a helium-filled balloon as Cecily hands it to me. “This is, like, the one-millionth balloon, isn’t it?”
She places a balloon in her mouth and sucks the helium in. “Absolutely not,” she answers with a high-pitched voice. She’s adorable and sexy and everything I never realized I wanted in my life.
“Oh, great. You’re going to be high by the time the guests arrive.”
“Hardly.” Cecily smacks a balloon my way, and when I miss, it floats to the ceiling. “Your brother and Max are getting here any moment. Along with your mom and abuela, so there’s simply not enough time to get high.”
I shake my head as I continue my task of balloon tying.
Things are really, really good. And when I sit still long enough and think about how far we’ve come, I can barely wrap my head around it. This journey has been filled with twists, turns, and unexpected miracles. Aside from the laughter and tears, the last three years have also been filled with curly blond hair and freckles. After another visit to a new ob-gyn and a new diagnosis, Cecily was able to conceive. It took one attempt at the doctor’s office, and nine months later, Adelaide Marie was born.
When we first talked about it, we discussed me doing it, but I wasn’t ready. So we tried once with Cecily. Max was the gracious donor, so we knew if it didn’t work, we would try again, but this time with me. She was nervous but so beautiful and wonderful throughout the entire process. And she was scared. What if it didn’t work?
I never saw myself as a parent, so I was just as worried and scared as she was. In fact, kids used to make me extremely nervous. I knew I’d settle down one day, but a child was never part of the equation. And now? Now I can’t see myself in any other existence.
I hear tiny footsteps across the wood floor of our beautiful home. I place my finger to my mouth and say, “Shh.” I move so I can’t be seen, and when Addy comes flying into the room, I appear and shout, “Happy birthday!”
Addy yells and then starts giggling as she jumps into my arms. “Mama! You’re home from school.”
“See?” Cecily whispers as she approaches. “I told you you’d be a great mom.”
“Are you excited for your party?” I ask and kiss Addy on the cheek.
She lets out a giant, heaving sigh. “Yes, of course, but did you know that Mee-maw and Pop-pop won’t be here until the party is over?”
I laugh as I glance at Cecily. She rolls her eyes. “They’re coming back from Florida and messed up the dates. I swear to God. They shouldn’t be allowed to travel alone any longer.” Cecily clenches her fists and tosses them into the air as she walks into the kitchen and starts frosting the cupcakes. “Their grandchild’s third birthday and nope. Can’t make it because we’re old and senile.”
“Mommy, what’s senile?” Addy asks with her raspy little voice.
I laugh again. “It means fun,” I answer, and Cecily looks completely mortified. “Don’t worry, your grandparents will be here. And your Mama Claudia and Mama Lucia will be here, too.”
Addy giggles. “I love Mama Lucia’s wrinkles,” she whispers. “Okay, let me down. I want to go help Mommy with the cupcakes.”
“Cecily, baby, here comes Addy,” I say as Addy runs through the living room to the kitchen. I stand in the doorway and watch Cecily pick Addy up and place her on the child-sized steps so she can reach the counter. Cecily is so good with her, which isn’t surprising at all. She was made to be a mom. She’s patient and kind and so very loving. Seeing her pregnant was one of the highlights of my life. But getting to see her with Addy every day is the true blessing.
Cecily hands a cupcake paper to Addy and teaches her how to place them in the muffin tins. My heart is so very full in these moments. I bite the inside of my cheek. Lately, I cry at the drop of a hat. Cecily thinks it’s cute. I think it’s annoying.
Either way, I try to hold myself together. The tears and all of this is odd, but I am so very happy that it happened. I never thought I’d say that I’m happy Willow broke me. But I am. Cecily helped put me back together, and I found a way to heal. I guess maybe Cecily and I both should thank Willow Carmichael. It’s not often two people connected by someone like her can find happiness together. I have never been happier that the dreaded other woman happened to be someone I could build a beautiful life with.
About the Author
Erin Zak grew up on the Western Slope of Colorado in a town with a population of 2,500, a solitary Subway, and one stoplight. She started writing at a young age and has always had a very active imagination. Erin later transplanted to Indiana, where she attended college, started writing a book, an
d had dreams of one day actually finding the courage to try to get it published.
Erin now resides in Florida, away from the snow and cold, near the Gulf Coast with her family. She enjoys the sun, sand, writing, and spoiling her cocker spaniel, Hanna. When she’s not writing, she’s obsessively collecting Star Wars memorabilia, planning the next trip to Disney World, or whipping up something delicious to eat in the kitchen.
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