by V. K. Ludwig
My palm cupped his cheek, his beard rough against my skin. “Is it all the same?”
“Don’t look at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“As if I’m some sort of hero,” he ground out. “Chances that we will find you are slim. If the captured warrior gives us the location of the others, it might create enough of a distraction that Torin won’t pursue this lead with the females at all.”
“It will put the warriors in hiding at risk all the same.”
“I considered helping him escape but…” He dug his dull teeth into his upper lip before he added, “Smuggling a sat sphere out was easy, but they’d execute me for treason if anybody caught me helping him get away.”
I thought about that for a moment. “What about poison? Could you give it to him? Extract of the vasani pit will make it look as if wounds festered and fouled his blood. Not even the labs in Noja can detect it, and we often dip our tailclaws in it because of how deadly it is.”
“Are you seriously asking me to kill a Jal’zar?” At my nod, he sighed deeply. “You’re full of surprises, Naney. But yes, poisoning I can somehow manage.”
His unexpected help diluted my hate more with each moment his gray eyes held mine captive. A sudden breeze whispered from the plains, and Mekara allowed me to see the male beneath the uniform of the invader — protective, caring, honorable within the constraints of chaos.
I held the sat sphere up between us. “If I ride across the plains to seek them all out, my scent might draw young males. They often can’t control their urges during our heat. If they fall into a rut, they’ll pursue me.”
“That’s what you call this behavior the warrior exhibits? Rut?”
I nodded. “A rutting male is relentless to a point they might kill each other over a female.”
His nostrils twitched. “Send one of the older males nearby.”
“Nearby is still a long ride away. The females are in pain and, even with prayers and herbs, they are in no condition to travel this far. I don’t want Mother to do it.”
“Well, I can’t do it, either. Most of these groups will drive an arrow through my chest before I even spot them.”
And if they wouldn’t, had he offered to do this, too? “When are you expected back at your camp?”
“I offered Torin to… retrieve you.” He immediately lifted his hand in an appeasing manner. “I told him I would bring you in for questioning, but never intended to follow through. Why are you asking?”
I breathed against whatever loathing I still held for his kind, not believing what I was about to say until the words left my lips. “I could ride if you came with me. If you… helped me with my pains.”
A smirk crept onto one corner of his lips. “You want me to rub your tummy?”
“For the sake of the other females.”
“Of course.” There was a tease in his voice. He grabbed the sat sphere, tossed it in the air, then caught it with a grin on his lips. “Yeah, I can do that.”
“Wait here while I speak to my mother.”
I turned toward the tree and found Mother kneeling before her runes — bones and teeth with symbols carved into them, all scattered across the ash.
I ignored how the other females stared at me as I squatted beside her. “The Vetusian came to—”
“Become who he’s always been,” Mother said, her eyes fixed on the divination before her. “There will be a time, Naney, where you must decide what is the greater sin… betraying your own kind or betraying the feeling that unites us all within Mekara. I already sent Yral to ready two yuleshis.”
Ten
Naney
Waterskins, a pouch with dried strips of tendetu, and two rolled-up nabus. I strapped it all to our yuleshis while the females watched Zavis, hiding their gossip behind hands they angled to their mouths.
They had reason to talk.
The Vetusian sat by one of the many fires scattered across the gathering area, purple flames casting a warm hue over his ashen features. Deep chuckles rumbled in his chest when Ishta, the daughter of a young female, dug her hands into his beard, much to the mother’s dismay.
Fascinated by this hair that grew in thick abundance across the lower part of his face, Ishta kneaded it, pulled it, and giggled. Zavis giggled with her, the sound so light and heartfelt it brought warmth to my chest. Never had I seen him this playful and unrestrained.
At that moment, he didn’t look like an invader at all.
He looked like a father.
He looked like a good mate.
Reins in hand, I led both yuleshis to them and handed him a set before I mounted. “We have little sunlight left and need to hurry, lest we’ll end up sleeping in a tree.”
Zavis tousled Ishta’s hair and swung himself competently onto his yuleshi’s back, palm smoothing over the wild wisps of his beard. “Lead the way.”
The moment I kicked my yuleshi into a walk, Mother strolled up to Zavis. She gestured him to lean down, and whatever she told him distorted on the north winds.
He reined his yuleshi up beside mine, and we rode quietly into the plains. Already the setting sun cast a glare over the drought-cracked soil. First streaks of red broke on a mountain chain where the moon came up to the howls of the wind.
“What did my mother say to you?”
His nose scrunched up. “What she said makes no sense and, between the two of us, your mother scares me.”
That lured a giggle from me. “I’m a shaman. Tell me, and I’ll help you understand.”
“Last time that came up, you said you’re no shaman.” He cast me a sideways glance, torturing his upper lip for a moment. “The shimid told me that Mekara granted me a vision of chains forged within the goddess.”
That truly made no sense. “What vision?”
He shrugged, grabbed the waterskin, and took a swallow before he tied it back to the saddle. “Fuck, if only I knew.”
“Perhaps in sleep?” Had we both seen the same thing in a dream?
“I don’t sleep,” he said and rubbed his eyes as if his words had reminded him of the exhaustion written across his sunken-in features. “Every few suns, I collapse into a state of unconsciousness. It’s the only way for me to find rest.”
Which explained his pale complexion.
I’d heard of this. Zavis had been grown in darkness, along with the other Vetusians of what they called crop zero. It had instilled a fear of it deep in their core. Rumors said that terrors befall their sleep if there’s no light to guide them out of it. Was this how he’d learned to cope? By avoiding sleep altogether?
That question ached somewhere inside me. “Are you as afraid of the dark as they say?”
“Terrified.”
“And all the other things they say about the Vetusians of your crop?”
“Not sure what rumors make the rounds on Solgad, but it’s likely all true, Naney.” He smacked his tongue, and his gaze went adrift on a leap of wild yuleshis feeding on carrion. “Psychotic depression. Chronic insomnia. Potential sociopathy. I’ve been diagnosed with all of it before I could snap the buckles on my boots tight. Yet here I am, still painfully alive, somehow managing. The only thing I’m missing is Allodynia.”
“Which is?”
“When even touch that should be pleasant causes you pain,” he said. “Torin has it. Sometimes, I believe he loves his uniform so much because it shelters him from it.”
I’d never truly touched Zavis, unless it was in fight. “Touch doesn’t pain you?”
“No. I’m starved for it.” His eyes locked with mine, and he held my gaze for long moments before he trundled up a half-smile. “Which reminds me… how’s your tummy?”
Heat crept into my earlobes. “You know full well I’m in pain.”
He made a sound at the back of his throat. “A lot of pain. When I came to your tree, I found you with sweat on your temples and tear streaks down your cheeks. Is it always like this? I didn’t see the others suffer this much.”
“There are ways for
us to ease the pain.”
“Yeah, I know.” He reined his yuleshi next to mine and tugged on my reins, bringing me to a stop as he jutted his chin toward a patch of young trees. “Surely one of them can hold a nabu?”
“You’re a lusty male, Zavis.”
“Only since I met you.” His voice purred across the side of my neck as demanding fingers dug into my hair. “I stroked myself close to orgasm for suns, denying myself release, saving it all for you.”
His raw words stoked my womb like embers, amplified by those kisses he trailed toward my jawline. He kissed me wherever his lips reached as he leaned out of his saddle — on my cheek, my temple, the edge of my brow.
“Kiss me, Naney,” he rasped, brushing his lips over the corner of mine.
I wanted to, but a kiss was an intimate act left to mates. “Try, and I’ll bite.”
“Didn’t we leave the hostilities behind?”
He clasped my cheek and turned my head, letting his lips connect with mine in a fiery kiss. Iron seasoned our tongues — because I dug my small fangs into his bottom lip.
He pulled back on a hiss.
My eyes connected with his. “I warned you.”
“I would have been disappointed if you hadn’t bit me.” He licked the blood from his mouth and wiped the rest on the sleeve of his uniform, a big grin lining his lips. “It was worth it. Now let me rub that tummy counterclockwise before you start yapping again. The other group will still be there in an argos. We both know you want me to fuck you.”
As much as I had called Zavis arrogant before, it now carried that kind of playfulness I’d witnessed earlier. A taunt I intended to answer.
“You’ll have to catch me first.” I smacked my tail against the rump of his yuleshi, then kicked mine straight into a sprint.
I thundered across the plains to the sound of Zavis’ curses. A glance over my shoulder showed his yuleshi bucking, but he sat it surprisingly well, then gave chase.
Streaks of the red moon reflected on his wide grin, his teeth on full display as he sprinted behind me. He rode well, but struggled to keep up with how I dodged boulders and young tree saplings.
“I’ll catch you!” he shouted, his voice bright and excited.
And I wanted him to.
The more he ate the distance between us, the lighter my chest grew. I didn’t realize a smile had crept onto my mouth until long-neglected muscles twitched underneath the strain. Out here, we were neither Vetusian nor Jal’zar — only a male and female. Was this what Mekara wanted?
Perhaps the goddess had brought us together to form an unexpected alliance, shaped in the dwelling place of our souls. A realm where we all existed, where a Jal’zar and Vetusian could be friends. Perhaps even lovers?
Zavis reined his yuleshi up beside me and missed my reins by a finger width when he grabbed for them. “You’re a vicious little th-augh—”
Zavis jerked with a groan.
His body swayed.
He slipped off his yuleshi.
Thud.
“Zavis!” I reined my yuleshi to a halt.
My soles hit the ground, the ash it whirled up mixing with how his mount jumped sideways and mine danced around.
“Arrow,” he groaned and rolled onto his side, fingers wrapping around the wooden shaft protruding from his upper arm. “Get behind me!”
He jumped back to his feet, injured arm hanging limp by his side, while the other grabbed the gun from his chest holster.
The ground shook underneath us.
When I turned, I saw him.
A warrior thundered toward us on his yuleshi, his muscles flexed tightly with how he held his bow. When he reached behind him for the arrows resting in his quiver, I rammed my horns against Zavis’ chest.
“Get down!” I shouted. “Had he come for you, his aim would have been true and you would be dead.”
“What are you talking about?”
“He came to claim me.” A rutting Jal’zar male who must have strayed the plains alone and picked up my scent.
Zavis broke the shaft protruding from his arm with a crk and rose once more. “The fuck he will.”
When he pointed the barrel of his gun at the warrior, I slapped upward against his wrist. “Don’t kill him!”
Phwt!
Another arrow whistled by, which Zavis dodged before he fell into a wide stance and willed his armor around him, finger on the trigger. “If I don’t, he’ll kill me.”
“No, he won’t.”
I slapped his wrist upward once more while I wrapped my tail around his ankle. One tug, and I unbalanced him. Zavis hit the ground, cursing his gods, cursing this planet, and most of all, cursing me.
Releasing my tail, I thrust myself into a sprint toward the warrior. Nobody would die with how much was at stake right this moment. Nobody would claim me, either.
Whatever the warrior had expected as he reached his arm for mine and pulled me behind him onto his yuleshi, it wasn’t how I wrapped my tail around his neck. Throwing my entire weight to one side, I ripped us both down.
My shoulder crashed against the ground. Pain seared into the joint. We rolled, tumbled. Ash puffed up all around us. Something yanked my horn. The warrior?
He held it in a tight grip and pressed the back of my head against the dirt. My mind spun as he sat astride me, clasping my legs between his knees. Heavy breathing, dilated eyes, his knot swollen behind his loincloth — all signs of rut. The most obvious one? How he angled his tailclaw at my ribs.
I wrapped my tail around his neck once more, simultaneously trying to pull and buck him off me. War was no time to create soulbonds, and certainly not with a Jal’zar male I knew nothing about. If he claimed me now and Zavis killed him…
But no matter how hard I strangled him, he flicked his tail sideways, only to thrust it right at my ribs. The first, I dodged with my hand. It wouldn’t work a second time because he grabbed my wrists.
“You’re mine,” he choked out.
He angled his claw at me again.
He thrust it toward me.
A boot came down and stomped his tail into the dirt, followed by Zavis’ furious growl. “She’s not yours!”
Zavis’ other boot kicked the warrior straight in the face, forceful enough that he rolled off me, only stopping when his tail wouldn’t let him go any further. He groaned at first, but hissed when Zavis grabbed his braid and pressed the barrel of his gun to his temple.
I struggled myself to my feet. “Please, don’t kill him.”
“If I wanted to, he’d be dead already,” Zavis snarled. “Correction. I want to, but I won’t because you asked me not to. But I swear if that tail of his comes near you once more, I’ll cut that thing up lengthwise before I rip his claw out.”
“We’ll bind him.” I hurried to rummage through the saddlebags for sturdy uri rope. “Tied to his yuleshi, he’ll pose us no threat, and the beast will carry him back to where he came from.”
“Kuna,” the warrior crooned through busted lips, and already his hum soothed my nerves, forcing all tension from my muscles.
Zavis yanked his hair. “What’s that noise?”
I searched his eyes. “A male’s hum offers comfort to his mate. Unmated males use it to court females and entice them to submit—”
“Court?” Zavis shifted his boot on the warrior’s tail, letting the crunch of dirt underfoot mix with his yelp. “Now there’s a sound that entices me into not cutting your throat.”
Binding the Jal’zar proved difficult. Mostly for the way I stared at Zavis, who retreated his armor, and how his gray eyes seemed to have darkened. Was he my kind, I had no doubt he would drive his tailclaw between my ribs at any moment. Would I let him?
I shook my head, ripping myself out of my stupor as I haphazardly tied the warrior’s wrists behind his back. Nothing but nature fooling me with the urge to submit to a strong male. There were dozens of reasons why he could never be my bonded mate, starting with the fact that he was not Jal’zar.
&nb
sp; “I need more rope,” I said and turned back toward my yuleshi. “Go catch his mount so we can—”
The warrior jumped up with such speed that he rammed his horns straight into Zavis’ face. The Vetusian groaned and sidestepped, which freed the warrior’s tail. It swiped straight at my feet, ripping my legs out from underneath me before his claw cut the ropes.
My mind spun.
Everything happened so fast.
Zavis roared, a sound so violent it percolated the blood in my veins. I’d never heard him like this before, and my heart quickened as I let my eyes lock on him.
The Jal’zar held a knife to Zavis’ exposed throat, but it was the sight of his tailclaw that stalled my breath. He’d stabbed it deep into where Zavis’ neck tied into his shoulder, and blood ran down his tail before the ash soaked up the drips.
I didn’t think.
Didn’t decide.
Only acted, watching how time ceased to exist for the fraction of a moment. The Jal’zar warrior jerked. His fingers sprung open and dropped the blade. He collapsed to the ground. His tailclaw dislodged and blood splattered against my dress.
I didn’t realize Zavis had walked over to me until he rubbed his palms along my numb arms. “What have you done?”
I shrugged.
What had I done?
The warrior lay dead in the dirt before my feet. Blood trickled over his abandoned stare, over the bridge of his nose, then seeped into the thirsty ground.
Zavis once told me he would never ask me to kill one of my own. Not with him, not for him. There was no need.
I already had.
I ripped my tailclaw from the warrior’s temple where I’d punctured his brain. “He would have killed you.”
Zavis pressed his forehead against mine, his eyes closed as he nuzzled my nose with the tip of his, and hugged me tightly. “And you didn’t let him because I’m yours to kill, hmm?”
“Yes.”
His mouth pressed to mine and stole a kiss, suckling my lower lip between his teeth where he bit down as if to punish me for my lie.
Eleven
Zavis
