by J Porteous
‘Now we go look around and ask people.’
We wandered the atrium for a while, trying to stop people where we could. Most people shrugged us off, either not having the time or the inclination to indulge a little girl. Tired and dirty faces looked over us as if we weren’t even there, and even those that did stop offered little more than a shrug.
I’d been lying about her father for so long I almost expected one of the people we asked to actually say that they had seen him. Jessica’s hopeful face had begun to lose its sparkle, her optimistic smile slowly eroding into a concerned frown. As much as I wanted to tear my eyes away from that heart-breaking image, I forced myself to face her. This is what you’ve done, now you’ve got to deal with the consequences.
‘Perhaps we should try somewhere else,’ I said. ‘It’s too busy here. People don’t want to stop. It’s a big place, that means a lot of places to search.’
A glimmer of a spark returned to Jessica’s eyes. In return, guilt flushed through me. I kept a good grip of her hand and led her further into the city.
The atrium and its stream of travellers opened up into the main body of the old shopping mall. It buzzed with life, even more so than it would have done before the quarantine. The still escalators, ground to a halt, allowed people to traverse between the ground floor and the walkways above. Vendors and traders crowded the edges of the edges of both floors, bellowing their offers out over the cacophony of human interaction.
Jessica and I followed the flow of bodies, working our way through the crowds. There were traders offering things I had not seen in a good while; alcohol, almost-new clothing and footwear, cans of exotic fruit too. Grimy-faced patrons gathered around their carts, swigging a foul-looking liquid from dirty bottles, laughing and joking. I envied the way they could forget that anything awful was happening to the world.
‘What’s that noise?’
I glanced down at Jessica. ‘What noise?’
‘It sounds like someone singing, but with something else.’
I cocked my head to one side, attempting to hear what she heard. She was right. Somewhere, further down the mall, was the faint sound of music. I smiled, an edge of nostalgia creating a bridge between the world as it is now and the old life I used to enjoy. I knew it well. ‘That’s Elvis.’
‘What’s an Elvis?’
I smiled. ‘I’ll show you.’
I pushed through the crowds, carving a way for us to descend deeper into the mall. The crush of bodies thinned as the traders also dissipated. We came across a centre crossroads, a long-dried fountain marking the centre of it. A number of people milled around, enjoying the music where it was loudest.
A few people sat on the edge of the fountain, dishevelled faces nodding along to the sound. No doubt enjoying the reminder of better times.
‘I don’t see anyone singing,’ Jessica said. ‘But they’re here. I can hear them.’
Pressed up against the wall was a lone trader, his wrinkled face further creased by his longing smile. He sat beside a small table, a CD player sat atop it. Somehow, somewhere, this old man had managed to salvage something which worked. A sign sat beside him, money paid for music.
Jessica followed my gaze. ‘It’s coming from that box?’
‘It is.’
‘Can I go see?’
‘I don’t see why not.’
Jessica let go of my hand and wandered over towards the old man and the CD player. He offered her a kind smile and obviously got pleasure out of the joy and wonder it brought her. I sat on the edge of the fountain and enjoyed the moment of almost normality.
Someone sat next to me, sitting uneasily close. I shuffled over a bit, thinking they simply sat too close by accident, but they shuffled closer again. I kept my eyes on Jessica, my hand drifting to the hunting knife on my belt.
‘I heard two people were killed in Old Oxford yesterday. One stabbed, and the other was shot.’
I glanced to my side. It was a woman, dark glasses covering her eyes and a scarf masking the rest of her face. She pushed her dark brown hair behind her ear but kept looking forward.
‘How do you know that?’ I asked.
‘If you learn where to blend in,’ she said. ‘You get to know a lot of things. And I hear a lot of things which people may find interesting.’
‘Why are you telling me this?’
‘Shootings are rare, very rare,’ she replied. ‘It would be very easy to narrow down the suspects. It’s not every day someone strolls into Hope with a shotgun under their coat.’
I glanced down at my coat, self-conscious of what could be seen. My coat was pulled together, with no sign of the sawn-off shotgun in sight. She must have seen it at some other point. I need to be more careful.
‘Why are you following me?’
‘Why are you following us, you mean?’ Her head turned slightly to watch Jessica as she listened to the music. The old man was flicking through the old booklets he had from his collection of CDs. She laughed quietly at my discomfort. ‘I didn’t care much for the two who died. Doing this place a favour if you ask me. And I hear rumours of something coming from the south. Men and woman who worship the flames. Next, I see a girl come to Hope, badly burnt. These things pique my interest.’
‘Well, I’d say you need to become uninterested.’ I said.
‘This is a dull world we live in,’ she said. She turned to look at Jessica. ‘I take interest in the sparks when I see them. There’s too few of them in this world, and they need protecting.’
‘Is that meant to mean something to me?’
The woman stood and brushed her long coat off. ‘Welcome to Hope.’
I watched as she wandered away, quickly disappearing into the crowds once more. I relaxed my grip on the hunting knife.
‘I’ve made a new friend.’
I looked back to see Jessica stood in front of me. ‘That’s good,’ I said.
‘Did you make a friend too?’
I looked back towards the crowd which had swallowed the mysterious woman. ‘I don’t know.’
‘Eric has lots of different music.’
‘Eric?’
‘Yeah, the music man. He says he finds what he can, and pays for some too. If we find some music, can we bring it back here to listen to it?’
I nodded. ‘Sure, why not?’ The chance of coming across an undamaged CD seemed incredibly slim, but with hopes of finding her father fading, I had to give her something to hold on to. ‘Shall we carry on?’
Jessica nodded and held her hand out. I took her hand in mine and we continued our search.
The other areas of the mall were much the same, with dozens of vendors and buyers creating a bustling atmosphere. After so many years of avoiding people where I could, the burst of life and energy exhausted me.
Eventually, we found another set of doors which led back outside. After being surrounded and suffocated by so many people, I needed some air, so made a line towards it. It led out into an overgrown garden area. There had been some attempt at keeping the place tidy, but weeds and thorns still poked out where they could.
‘Do you think we should ask these people too?’ Jessica asked.
It was a lot quieter here, but it was still more people than I was used to being around. ‘It’s always worth asking.’ A dizzy spell came over me, no doubt the claustrophobia of the tightly-packed crowds leaving my body. ‘I’m going to sit a moment. Keep in my sight, okay?’
Jessica nodded and went to ask whoever would listen to the same thing she had already asked countless times today. I leant myself against the wall, letting myself sink down until I was firmly planted on the floor.
I watched Jessica for a moment before something caught my eye. It was a family. A mother, father, and what looked to be two young boys. My heart lifted at the sight of it. In my mind, I tried to imagine how Jessica would fit in amongst them. Perhaps she could be the older sister? Looking out for the two boys, the mother doting on her like her own.
Any of those nice
thoughts were vanquished when I watched the woman slap one of the boys about the face and shout. The boy hardly reacted, his sullen look giving away the fact that this kind of thing was routine for them. No, I won’t let her go into something like that.
I looked around, looking for anyone else, but between the drunks and the other scumbags, there was little to choose from. Still, Hope was a big place, or at least as big as I had seen for a while; there had to be more families here.
I looked around for Jessica. More bodies had flowed into the area, no doubt coming to breathe in some of the outside air. I couldn’t see her. I pulled myself to my feet and glanced around. ‘Jessica? Jessica?’ She was nowhere in sight.
Fuck. I lurched to my feet and barged my way through the small group in front of me, angered hands shoving me in the back. I ignored them and wandered through the crowd, eyes darting around in search of any trace of her. I circled the entire of the garden, but she was nowhere in sight.
I barrelled back into the old mall, my heart thundering in my chest. I had brought the girl this far, there was no way I was going to lose her now. ‘Jessica?’
I paced through the mall, heading back towards the central fountain. I glanced down the occasional side corridor, their murkily lit depths giving nothing away. I cursed myself for letting her out of my sight.
Someone caught my attention. It was the woman from earlier, her face still covered, her expression unreadable. She leant against a trader’s cart, inconspicuous in the bustle of bodies, and yet she had somehow managed to garner my attention.
She snapped her fingers and pointed towards a nearby service corridor. I looked down it to see a couple of silhouettes stood beneath a flickering light, a short girl and a much larger man. I turned back to the woman, my paranoia expecting her to drive a blade into my back as soon as I stepped out of the public eye, but she was gone.
I dashed down the corridor, speeding my pace as I recognised Jessica’s voice. I could see in the dull light that she was holding something up to the man.
‘Have you seen my dad?’
I stepped in towards them, lowering her hand. ‘No, he hasn’t,’ I said.
Jessica frowned at me. ‘He might have.’
‘No, Jessica.’ I glanced up at the man. I could see from a distance that he was a large-set man, but this close I could see his jowls shaking under each shuddering breath, a greasy sneer on his lips.
‘Now, now,’ he said. ‘I might have seen him. Let’s have a look again.’
I released Jessica’s arm and she held the photo up to the man. ‘He’s got a blue coat on. Bright blue.’
The man scratched his bald head. ‘Nope, sorry little one. Haven’t seen him, but I’ll let you know if I do.’
‘I told you,’ I said to Jessica. ‘Let’s go ask elsewhere.’
Jessica nodded and walked back towards the main hall. As I turned to follow, a strong grip grasped hold of my arm and held me back. I tore my arm free and turned back to the fat man.
‘You’re not the girl’s dad then?’ he said, a terrible smile on his lips. ‘You looking to get rid of her? I’ve got clients, you see. Some of them have exotic tastes, shall we say.’ His eyes wandered over to Jessica. ‘Those burns might do something for them. I can make it worth your while.’
‘She’s with me,’ I growled. ‘She’s not for sale.’
‘Oh?’ the man said, almost surprised by my answer. His lips peeled back into another grim smile. ‘I understand. Want to keep her all to yourself, eh?’
I pulled my hunting blade from my belt and pushed the man against the wall, digging the blade into one of his multiple chins. ‘Watch your fucking mouth.’
The man simply smiled again, my face close enough to taste his rancid breath. He glanced down, his gaze darkening. ‘I heard a couple of people were murdered in Old Oxford. One of them was shot.’ He nodded downwards. ‘Happen to know anything about that?’
I glanced down and noticed my coat had fallen open when I had pulled my knife, the shotgun hanging in plain view. I shrunk back, pulling my coat back in around myself. ‘It’s a dud,’ I said. ‘It just gets used to scare people off.’
‘Is that the case?’ The man stood tall again, taking a step towards me. ‘Well, if you do happen to find out anything about it, you let me know, okay? Just ask for Harvey, someone will get word to me.’
I attempted to keep a flat expression. Although he was large and ponderous in his movements, there was an edge to the air around him. I stowed my knife and took another step back. ‘I’ll be sure to pass anything on.’
‘I’m sure you will,’ Harvey said. ‘And good luck with finding the girl’s dad, eh?’ He grinned once more.
My skin crawled at the sight of his smile. Without another word, I turned and caught up with Jessica, who waited patiently for me at the end of the service corridor.
‘He seemed nice,’ Jessica said, as I got closer.
I managed to stop myself from sighing in frustration at her hopeless naivety. ‘No, he isn’t.’
‘Oh. Did he say anything about my dad?’
‘No.’
‘Then what did he say?’
‘Nothing interesting,’ I replied. ‘You can’t run off like that again, Jessica. Not here. It’s not safe.’
‘But I thought the bad people were outside?’
I placed a hand on her shoulder. ‘There are bad people everywhere.’
‘Everywhere?’ Her eyes widened as she spoke, glancing around nervously.
‘And good people too,’ I quickly said, not wanting to scare the girl. ‘But you need to be careful to figure out who’s good and who’s bad.’
‘How do I know?’
‘It’s hard to tell sometimes,’ I said. ‘But if you come and ask me, I’ll let you know.’
Jessica seemed satisfied with that answer. ‘Okay. I’m sorry.’
‘You don’t need to be sorry, just be more careful in future.’
‘I will.’ She glanced back down the corridor we had emerged from. ‘I don’t think I’ve seen anyone that big before.’
‘I have,’ I said. ‘But that was before everyone got ill.’ I looked back down the corridor to see that Harvey was gone. It was a strange sight in this scant world, to see someone manage to be so gluttonous, but I suppose those living in the city must have more produce and goods at their fingertips than any of the settlements I had stayed with.
The rest of the day flew by as we made passes of all of the major areas of Hope. We wandered repeatedly up and down the main walkways, visited both levels several times, and even returned to the atrium for a while to question anyone and everyone we could. The gate guards were asked, as well as countless weary-faced traders. Of course, all of them said no.
I watched the young girl as she asked around for any sign of her father. There were moments I was so caught up in things that I almost thought of him as alive. Almost. I kept a close eye on her as she asked anyone who looked like they might give her a moment of attention.
A voice spoke next to me. ‘You need to be careful.’
It was the woman from earlier. Her dark glasses had disappeared, but the scarf was still tightly wound round her lower face. ‘What now?’
She turned to look directly at me for the first time. ‘A word of warning,’ she said. ‘The two that were killed? They were Harvey’s men.’
The fat man I had spoken to earlier. My stomach churned. ‘I’ll be careful,’ I said.
‘It’s not you I’m worried about,’ she said, turning back towards Jessica. ‘He knows you. He knows her. Things don’t end well around him.’
‘We won’t be here long,’ I replied. ‘Come morning we’ll be moving on. Then you can go back to stalking other people.’
‘Just make sure you are,’ the woman replied. ‘Harvey doesn’t hang around when he knows what he wants.’ She stood quietly for a moment, watching Jessica, then abruptly turned and disappeared back into the mall.
I pulled my coat in tight around me and set off a
fter Jessica once more. I had thought Hope would be a place we could relax in relative safety, yet it now seemed we were in more danger than before. Between the cult and the city, it seemed like a safe haven was something this world did not have any more.
Darkness was returning to reclaim the world. The orange glow of the sunset managed to breach the cloud cover, causing the great glass sheets which still held their perch in the roof to show a warm hue.
Jessica looked up at it with a bittersweet smile. ‘My dad used to watch the sunsets with me when they happened.’
‘That sounds nice,’ I said.
‘Can we go watch it?’
‘Of course.’
I traded a number of things I had squirrelled away in my rucksack for some hot food. The vendor did not say what type of meat it was, and I dared not ask, but dog seemed the most likely judging by the size of the leg I received. We wandered through the atrium and out through the main gates.
The snow had receded somewhat, retreating from the gate and fences, allowing some specks of green grass to show through. Looks like winter is coming to an end. We walked a small distance from the gate and sat on a group of large, flat rocks which offered a good view of the glow on the horizon.
Jessica tucked into her food, hot grease running down her chin. She smiled after each bite.
‘When was the last time you had warm food?’ I asked.
Jessica shrugged. ‘My dad didn’t cook all the time. He put up traps and snares, but he didn’t have much luck. We had vegetables most of the time, and sometimes he could get a fire going to cook them and other times he didn’t.’ She took another chunk out of the leg. ‘I much prefer the warm food though.’
I had to agree with her there. Whenever I had taken my game back to settlements to trade, the buyer would almost always be kind enough to offer me some of it once cooked. If it saved me trying to make my own fire, I wouldn’t say no; especially in the damp and cold winters.
‘I like to think my dad is somewhere watching the sunset too.’
I kept my gaze firmly on the distance. ‘I’m sure he’s thinking of you, wherever he is.’
