by J Porteous
Jerome spat on the floor. ‘Oh fuck off.’
As tempting as it was to crash my fist into his face, I resisted. This world was cruel enough, Jerome wouldn’t last long in his current state. ‘I’m not wasting my time with you,’ I said. ‘You’re already dead on your feet, just look at yourself. I give you a day, at most.’ I turned away from him and walked after Sasha. ‘Come on,’ I said to Felix. ‘We’re wasting time here.’
Felix looked back at Jerome momentarily, his mouth hanging open as if to speak, before hurrying after me as I quickened my pace. He kept pace abreast of me. ‘We’re just going to leave him?’
‘Yeah.’
‘But what if-’
‘If he wants to be out here on his own then let him,’ I replied. ‘We’ve got people back at that manor depending on us, and we’re not going to get anywhere dragging around someone who doesn’t want to be dragged around.’
‘He’ll die.’
‘And many more will die if we aren’t back to help.’ I huffed out breaths as I talked. ‘Funny time to grow morals, isn’t it?’
‘I said I’m sorry,’ Felix replied. ‘I know I can’t make up what I did to you, I know that. I would have kicked my ass too if I were you. But what’s done is done. All I can do now is help out where I can. Move on and improve.’
Sasha was close now, waiting on the outskirts of the outbuildings. What Felix said was right. After all, wouldn’t I have moved on at the first sign of trouble at one point? We move on, we improve. I gave a knowing nod. ‘I can respect that.’
Felix almost looked taken aback. ‘I know things won’t go back to the way they were before, back when Diego was alive. When Community was still home. I just want to make the best of things as they are.’ He looked up at the clouded sky. ‘Community. Fuck, that feels like so long ago.’
‘It does.’
‘Funny, isn’t it? Just how quickly the rug can get pulled out from underneath you?’
I saw the jets bombing the city in my mind, the roar of their engines, the ground quaking at the impacts. ‘The blink of an eye.’
Sasha turned towards us, piercing eyes fighting for our attention as she pressed a firm finger to her thin lips. Felix and I fell silent, quickly and quietly moving towards her.
‘What is it?’ I asked, looking across the outbuildings ahead of us.
‘Movement,’ she whispered. ‘Saw something moving in one of the windows.’
‘Where?’
She pointed towards what looked to be a portable cabin, its once white walls now coated with grime. ‘Looked like someone peeping out at us.’
‘They’re probably scared,’ Felix replied. ‘Seeing the three of us coming towards them.’
‘Or planning an ambush,’ I said. My eyes flicked between the outbuildings, attempting to pry out any details in their darkened windows and doorways. Nothing.
‘Either way, we haven’t got the time to go around,’ Sasha said.
Although the sun wasn’t visible through the thick clouds, the ambient light gave a clue as to what time it was. Still daylight, but still running out of time. ‘Sasha’s right,’ I said. ‘We’ll need to be smart about this. Felix, think you can creep up around that cabin?’
Felix gave a firm nod. ‘I think so.’
I looked up at Sasha. ‘You and I are going to stroll through. If it’s an ambush, we know it’s coming, so keep your knife close. Hopefully Felix can get the drop on whoever comes out of that door as well. If nothing, then we keep going.’
Felix retreated back up the path we had walked before disappearing into the tangle of undergrowth. I took a deep breath and wrapped my hand around the hilt of my knife, fingers tightening around it.
Sasha and I wandered ahead. We were not overly quiet, nor vying for attention, we simply walked. Sasha walked beside me, nonchalantly picking the dirt from under her nails with the tip of her blade, eyes wandering over the surrounding buildings. My eyes did the same, watching for changes in shadow and light.
We walked past without any issue. My shoulders dropped with relief, muscles relaxing. I still clutched hold of my knife, but knowing I hadn’t needed to drive it into someone was a weight off of my mind.
Sasha paused, looking back towards where the cabin was. She knocked my shoulder and pointed back towards it.
Felix was pressed against the outside of the cabin, nearing the door. He looked up and caught our eye, giving a nod that seemed to suggest he knew what he was doing. I watched him as he crept forward, the nerves in my spine tingling once more.
‘What the fuck is he doing?’ Sasha hissed. She waved a hand, calling him away, but he brushed it off.
Felix knocked his fist against the door. ‘Come on out,’ he called. ‘We won’t hurt you.’
A voice called back. ‘What do you want?’ Scared and weak.
‘Just information.’
‘It’s just me,’ the voice returned.
‘We won’t hurt you,’ Felix repeated.
A face appeared where a window used to be, the jagged edges of glass clinging to the battered frame. It was a man, a long greying beard straggling from his face and wide bright eyes peering out from underneath a frayed peaked cap. His eyes darted from Felix to Sasha and I. ‘I’m not coming out.’
‘You don’t have to,’ Felix said. ‘We just want to talk.’
The man gave a husky laugh. ‘That’s what everyone says, until they don’t fancy talking any more.’
I stepped back toward the cabin. ‘We’re just passing through,’ I said. ‘We’ve been told there’s still some barrels of petrol here?’
The man’s eyes flicked towards me. ‘That’s right. You anything to do with that group that came through earlier?’
It made sense that he would have seen the scouting party. No use in denying it. ‘They were with us. Until they decided to go their own way.’
The man growled under his breath. ‘Gone their own way, you say? Not waiting just out of view of my window then? Not getting ready to hurt Reece again?’
I caught Felix’s eye, the same look of concern looking back towards me. I took my hand from my knife and held my hands up. ‘Whatever they did, it was nothing to do with us,’ I said. ‘We’ve got a larger group, but a lot of them are injured or children. They were the most capable of us, and they left us.’ I took a couple of slow steps toward the window. ‘I’m sorry if they did anything to Reece, that wasn’t what they were sent out for.’
‘Reece is a good boy,’ the old man replied. ‘All he was doing was looking out for me, that’s all. That’s what we do, look out for each other.’
‘Do you need any help?’ Felix asked. ‘We might be able to-’
‘No,’ the old man snapped. ‘You people have done enough.’
‘They’re not with us,’ I said. ‘We’re not going-’
‘Not just you,’ the old man replied. ‘I’m talking about everyone. Everyone’s wearing a mask these days, everyone’s looking to help you. Thing is, everyone is just out for themselves. Me and Reece have been just fine out here until people came along. Just take what you want and go, just leave us alone!’
It was easy to see how this world could break a person. When everyone is out for their selves, it’s easy to lose sight of other people’s needs. The old man’s eyes watered as they met mine, a mixture of anger and frustration. ‘It’s okay,’ I said. ‘We’re going. We just need a few barrels of petrol, then we’ll be gone.’
‘Go ahead, just take it. It’s not mine to keep anyway.’
I gave a respectful nod to the man and motioned for Sasha and Felix to follow. The poor man was already strained enough, neither of us was going to get what we wanted if we kept this up.
‘I’m going to stay here,’ Felix said. ‘If you two are okay getting the barrels? You can shout me if you need me.’ He turned back to the man. ‘I want to help if I can.’
Sasha spun on her heels and started off towards the warehouse. ‘We can handle it,’ she said. ‘Might be good to have so
meone keeping an eye out anyway.’
I turned to follow Sasha, then looked back at Felix. ‘Call us if you need us too.’
‘I will.’
Sasha and I wandered past the remaining outbuildings, the large steel storage warehouse looming over us. The buildings were long empty, already stripped of anything which could be of any use. Just like the rest of the world, gutted by anyone and everyone.
The warehouse stood before us, its large doors yawning open to invite us in. The strong reek of petroleum lingered in the air around it, a thick miasma which made my head woozy. Still, we came here with a job to do, and we were determined to do it.
The barrels were still stocked further into the warehouse, teetering stacks of various heights filling the back of it. A good number of barrels lay on their side, no doubt having fallen long ago.
It seemed that the weight of the drums was a double-edged sword: on one hand, there was still a large stockpile due to the difficulty of moving them, on the other hand, we needed to move some of them.
Between Sasha and I, we wriggled three of the barrels free from the group, rolling them out of the darkness and into the light of day. The floor was slick with spilt petrol, no doubt from unsuccessful attempts of other groups trying to retrieve them.
After standing outside to gulp down fresh air, we returned into the warehouse to retrieve one of the wooden pallets which the barrels sat upon. The first few were rotten, soaked through with a mixture of spilt petrol and waste-water from years of exposure. We finally located one which seemed sturdy enough and dragged it outside to lash the barrels to it.
We gave a number of test pulls and the ropes and pallet seemed strong enough. I couldn’t help but smile. As much as I had hoped this plan would work, there had been a heavy shadow of doubt over the idea. Seeing the ropes hold went some way to restoring my optimism.
Sasha wrapped one of the rope ends over her shoulder, and I took the other. She gave me a cursory glance.
‘Ready?’ she said.
I nodded. ‘Let’s get this back to the mansion.’
Between us, the weight was just about bearable. As much as my ankle had improved, the extra strain made itself known. Even the short distance back to where Felix had stayed caused my foot to burn. Good thing there’s still three of us.
A dog sat at Felix’s feet. It looked up at him with its mouth open, panting heavily and tail wagging even with its front paw heavily bandaged. Felix looked between the dog and the now open door of the cabin.
The old man came to the doorway, with what looked to be a smile on his face. He looked up at us as we approached and tapped Felix on the shoulder. Felix looked up and waved.
I let the rope drop from my shoulder as we drew near. ‘Making friends?’
Felix ruffled the dog’s fur. ‘This is Reece.’ He gestured to the man in the doorway. ‘And this is Marcus.’
Marcus offered a nod. ‘I’m sorry about earlier. It’s been a long time since anyone’s done any good for me. And those people who came by earlier didn’t do much for that.’
I looked down at Reece’s bandaged paw. ‘They did this?’
Marcus nodded. ‘I thought I saw something moving in one of the outbuildings so we went to check it. I came back to see your other group coming our way. One of them had scouted ahead and was sniffing around my little home. Reece caught him out, growled and went for him. The guy shook him off but gave Reece a hard kick in the process. I dragged him in here and we stayed out of the way. To be honest, I thought they were going to kill us, but I suppose one man and his dog just ain’t worth the hassle.’
‘Do you get much trouble here?’ I asked.
‘Not as such,’ Marcus replied. ‘I tend to keep to myself, and know to keep out of the way. Not too many people come here, but occasionally you get people stumbling through, only to be disappointed by the lack of anything here. Place got stripped years ago, just the petrol here now.’
‘What about food?’ Sasha said. ‘Water? You can’t live on nothing.’
Marcus laughed. ‘You’re right there.’ He rubbed his nose across the back of his already filthy sleeve. ‘I’ve got sheets spread out all over the site to collect any rainwater, and me and Reece hunt ourselves some rabbits too. It’s not much, but it’s enough.’
Felix looked over at the barrels lashed to the pallet, a smile finding his face. ‘Looks like things are going our way again.’
We had the petrol, that was for sure, but that didn’t mean it would keep us any safer when the cult came. ‘For the moment,’ I replied.
Marcus sat upon the step just outside of his cabin, Reece limping over to sit by him. He smiled at the dog and ruffled his hair, the dog’s tongue poking out and panting with contentment. ‘Felix tells me you’ve got a lot of injured survivors, that you came from a city? Haven’t seen one of those in a long time.’
‘I could have said the same until recently,’ I replied. ‘I don’t think we’re quite ready for our cities again yet.’
‘I don’t think humanity is fit for much these days,’ Marcus replied, looking up at me. ‘But as much as I say that, people like yourselves show that there’s still something good in this world.’
‘None of us are saints.’
‘Probably for the best, since saints don’t exist, friend.’ A hacking, cough-filled laugh ripped from Marcus’ lungs. He looked around at myself, Felix and Sasha. ‘Well, I wish you all luck with your troubles. And thanks for patching up Reece too.’
Felix frowned. ‘Are you going to be okay here, by yourself?’
Marcus waved away the words of concern. ‘I’ve been fine here long enough, I’m sure I’ll be fine at least a little bit longer.’
The old man seemed happy with his little existence here on the edge of nowhere, but I knew if we failed then the cult may be finding him next. ‘Look,’ I said. ‘There’s people after us, a large group of them. They call themselves the Children of Ash. If we fail, then there’s a chance they might pass through here next.’
Marcus nodded. ‘I appreciate it, friend. If that is the case, then I hope you are successful. If not, well, the wind’s got to blow the wrong way at some point, doesn’t it? Good luck to you, all of you.’
‘And to yourself,’ I said. I glanced at Felix and Sasha. ‘We don’t have much more time, we need to get moving.’
Sasha had the rope back over her shoulder before I had finished my sentence, pulling it taught against the weight. I grabbed my rope and pulled, the pallet coming with a bit of coaxing. I gave a nod to Marcus as we left, who offered a wave and a nod in return. This was a hard world we both lived in, and just having the respect to be human with each other went far.
The trek back was arduous. I had known that bringing the three full barrels back would have been difficult, but there was a difference between imagining the struggle and working through it. My ankle burned not too long after we had set out, and, as reluctant as I was, Felix demanded he took over from me.
Sasha could only be described as a trooper. The entire way back, she didn’t break pace, complain, or ask for one of us to swap with her. I kept pace behind the pallet, nudging it when it became stuck on some of the rougher ground.
‘Are you sure you don’t want me to take over?’ I called ahead to Sasha. ‘I’ll be okay for a bit. You can rest up.’
‘No.’
Felix glanced back at me and shrugged. ‘You can’t push yourself too hard,’ he said to Sasha. ‘You’ll be exhausted by the time we get back.’
‘I’ll be fine.’
‘But-’
‘It’s fine,’ she snapped. ‘Let’s get this back so we can burn those sons of bitches when they come.’
From the sharp tone, it was evident that her volunteering to come out for the petrol was personal in some way. ‘Hope was hell,’ I said. ‘But if you want to watch the cult burn, then you’re going to need to make sure you get back as well.’
Sasha came to a halt, her chest heaving with strained breaths. Her cheeks were glow
ing, beads of sweat glistening as they ran down her face. She looked at me and held a hand out, passing the rope to me. ‘Here.’
I took the rope from her hand, her arm shaking with exertion. ‘A lot of people lost someone at Hope,’ I said. ‘We’ll make sure we get this back so everyone can see them burn.’
Sasha rifled around in her coat, searching for something and bringing it to the light. It was a small toy; a battered car, the chipped blue paintwork exposing the tarnished metal beneath. ‘You see this?’ she said, pushing it into my face. ‘This is all I have left of what I had at Hope. It was my boy’s.’
‘I’m sorry,’ I said. ‘It’s been hard on everyone.’
‘No, you don’t get it,’ she spat. ‘Thomas was the last thing I had in this world to keep me sane, to keep me focused on living. I lost him, in the smoke and fire and the crowds. I thought my grip on his hand was so tight, but he still got torn away.’ Angry sobs burst from her mouth. ‘I called for him, people screaming and running for their lives. That’s when I found this,’ she said, holding the car up. ‘It was his toy. His father had found it for him before he died, a year or so before we found Hope. And now this is all I have for both of them.’
‘Sasha, I-’
Before I could utter another word, she threw her arms around me and sobbed uncontrollably. To see such raw pain and emotion overwhelmed me. Hadn’t I been in a similar position before? Yes, that was right. First, there was the numbness, the urge to carry on as if nothing is wrong; then came the inevitable breakdown. The realisation that they were gone, and they weren’t coming back.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said, stuttering against her jagged breathing. She took her arms from around me and cleared her throat, wiping away the streaks of tears which ran down her face. ‘This isn’t the time or place for this.’
‘You can never plan for when it hits you,’ I said. ‘I’m sorry about Thomas.’
Grief flickered over her features once more. She swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded. ‘So am I.’ She carefully placed the car back inside of her coat, double checking it stayed in there. ‘Let me know when you want me to take over again.’
