“What do you mean you ride out here? Unchaperoned? What the hell is your father thinking? Your mother allows it?” Edward peppered her with questions.
Elizabeth tried to scramble from his lap, but his hands cinched around her waist and pinned her in place.
“If you don’t want that spanking, you will stay right where you are and answer my questions.”
“I owe you no answers, and you have no right to demand them.” Elizabeth clenched her teeth and hissed. “Let me go.”
“I will not. You’re in no position to try to get away either.” Edward growled in a tone that matched hers. Coming from a man nearly twice her size, it had the opposite effect than he intended.
Elizabeth swung her fist into his jaw, and Edward’s neck snapped back. The first punch was followed immediately by another to his opposite cheek. Taking advantage of him being stunned, Elizabeth pulled herself free and swung into her own saddle. Both horses were trained to remain still despite their riders’ movements, so neither had taken a step apart. She swung her horse around and took off once again.
Edward was in shock. No woman had ever struck him. Despite his surprise, he registered the look of fear and panic his last comment created. She swung before he had a chance to retract them or at least clarify. He understood she felt threatened, and he was impressed with her strength along with her wherewithal, but now he was on the chase again. Navigating through the trees was difficult, but his horse was slightly leaner than Elizabeth’s. He was able to catch up and grasp her horse’s bridle.
“Wait. Elizabeth, stop. It’s my turn to apologize. I’m sorry for scaring you. I realize how my words sound, but I’d never force you. I’d never force myself on you.”
She swung an accusing glare at him, and his heart lurched when he saw tears streaming down her cheeks.
“Why did you have to ruin everything?” she choked out.
Edward’s brow furrowed.
“That was my first kiss. More than likely to be my only kiss. And you had to ruin it. You said I scared the shite out of you. What do you imagine that was like for me?”
Edward covered her hand with his and with care peeled her fingers free before bringing it to his mouth. His hands chafed her wind-chapped skin, and he breathed warm air onto her knuckles. He held his arms open to her. She paused for so long, Edward was sure she’d run again. Instead, she nodded once. He pulled her into his lap with more grace than the last time. He wrapped his cloak around them both and kissed her cheek beside her ear.
“I don’t ever want you to fear me. I’d never ever trap you. I’m sorry my words scared you,” he whispered. His breath tickled her ear and when she tilted her head away he nipped, then licked, a trail along her neck to her collarbone and back up. “You didn’t seem scared, or even shocked, by my threat to punish you. Didn’t that frighten you?”
Elizabeth shook her head before looking at him and swallowing. Edward watched and realization dawned.
“Would you want me to do that?”
Elizabeth didn’t move. She didn’t move her head, not even a muscle in her face, nor did she say anything. Edward was sure she even held her breath. His hand stroked her ribs as his thumb rubbed beneath her breast.
“Beth, are you ashamed to admit that intrigues you?” Edward kept his voice hushed as though he were speaking to a skittish animal. “Is the notion of punishment what intrigues you, or is it the idea of me touching you?”
“Both.” It was like she breathed the word rather than spoke them.
Edward’s hand stopped rubbing her ribs, and he nudged her chin, so she looked at him. It was his turn to sit motionless. He waited for her to explain, but he wouldn’t prod her if she wasn’t ready.
Elizabeth’s eyes roved over Edward’s handsome face. She took in his cleft chin and the deep dimples that appeared when he smiled. She saw hints of them when he spoke. She pondered trailing her finger over them, but kept her hands tucked in her lap. She leaned into Edward and brushed her lips against his as the tip of her tongue darted out and swept across the seam of his mouth. When he didn’t pull away, she pressed her lips firmly to his. He opened without hesitation, and their kiss built to another conflagration. This time the kiss was slow. They explored one another’s mouths finding each nook and cranny. Edward pulled her hand over his chest to rest her palm on his heart. He took her other hand and slid it over his chest and abdomen and onto his ribs, then up to his shoulders. When he released it, she continued to roam at her own pace. Edward found his hands were determined to find her backside again. He cupped her luscious bottom, and when she wiggled in frustration, his grasp tightened. He felt as much as heard her sigh when his fingers bit into her flesh. It had to be painful, but he was learning she liked it. One hand retreated to her breast. Rather than gently cup it as he intended, her hand moved from his heart to press his against the mound that spilled out of his large palm. Once he kneaded it with a firm hold, her hand went back over his heart. His hands gripped her with little finesse, but he was certain he’d spill himself with the excitement her need created.
They only separated when both were unable to go any longer without drawing air into their lungs. Edward continued to massage her as her head fell back. Eventually, she leaned forward and tucked her head into the crook of his neck again.
“What are you doing to me? It was never like this when I imagined--”
Elizabeth cut herself off as she realized what she was about to admit.
“Never like what, Beth? What did you imagine?”
“I never imagined it was possible for my body to ache like it does right now. I didn’t realize a man could make me feel like— I have no way to describe it. It’s not like when--”
Once again, Elizabeth snapped her mouth shut.
“Like when? Who, Beth? Who is he?” Edward was sure he’d be ill. The image of some faceless man touching her made him want to vomit.
“Who what? I don’t understand.”
“Who’s touched you? You said it never felt like this. Who is it?” Edward’s ears were ringing.
“No one’s touched me.” Elizabeth took in Edward’s expression but wasn’t sure what it meant. He was pale and looked shaken. “Edward, I told you, you were the first man ever to kiss me. How could anyone else have touched me?”
“But you said--”
Elizabeth ducked her head back against his shoulder.
“I meant when I, well, when I do it. To myself.”
Her tremble reverberated through him for the first time. She admitted a secret that might very well have her placed in the stocks. He was sure she never told another person what she divulged to him. He understood her trepidation and he was honored she trusted him with such a secret, even if he considered nothing wrong with it. He’d been palming himself more than once a day since he saw her again.
“Beth, there’s nothing wrong with that. No matter what the church says. It’s natural. If God hadn’t wanted us to experience pleasure, he wouldn’t have made it possible.”
Elizabeth sat up and looked at Edward’s earnest face until he smiled. The kindness and understanding were her undoing.
“But I’m a virgin. I’m not supposed to have knowledge of such things. It’d be one thing if I was one of your bored wives or lonely widows.” She shook her head. “I’m not immoral.”
Edward nearly swallowed his tongue.
“I believe you’re a virgin. You never came across as anything but, even when we began kissing. Your uncertainty told me. I’d slay anyone foolish enough to claim you’re immoral, so I don’t want to hear that from you either. As to my alleged women, Beth, there is no one else. Not since I arrived and saw you again.”
“Everyone knows you have that mistress in Ireland. Maybe there isn’t anyone here, but there is someone.”
“And you’d kiss me knowing that?”
“What man doesn’t have a mistress?”
“And if I told you this man doesn’t have a mistress? Nor do I want one.”
“I don’t understand
. Everyone at court knows of your red-headed mistress, and if not her, then it’ll be someone else soon enough.” Elizabeth’s suddenly tried to get back onto her own horse. “It won’t be me. It can’t be me.”
Edward wrapped his arm around her middle.
“Sit still, Beth. I’ll embarrass us both if you keep rubbing my cock.” Elizabeth froze. “I ended things with Sinead before I returned to court. I won’t take another mistress. Not if I can help it. I’ll be taking a wife.”
“Oh, God. Are you betrothed? Am I your other woman? Oh, God. I cannot be the reason you’re unfaithful. Let me go.”
“Stop. Stop wriggling and listen, or I’ll spank you.” Edward saw the lust flair before she extinguished it just as quickly. “I’m not betrothed. Not yet, but I hope to be very soon. Can you not guess who I want to marry?”
“I have no idea what political match you plan to make, but I can’t be here with you.”
“Beth.”
“Why do you call me that?” she cut in.
“Does anyone else call you that?”
“Rarely. Some close family.”
“Do you not understand yet, that I’d like to be part of that close family?”
Elizabeth looked back over her shoulder as her hands gripped her reins and the saddle horn.
“What are you saying?”
“Sit back down, and I’ll tell you.” Once again, Edward opened his arms and gave her the choice. Once Elizabeth was still, he continued. “Don’t you realize I’ve been trailing after you like a lovesick puppy begging for any attention? Don’t you realize I’ve been trying to get to know you and have you get to know me? Don’t you realize you’re the one I want to marry, Beth?”
Elizabeth shook her head as her tears once again poured forth.
“Don’t say that. Don’t. I can’t bear to hear this. Why would you say that?”
This time when she tried to pull herself loose, Edward let her go. With a sob, she spurred her horse back toward the castle. Edward watched her go, following at a distance that left her alone but where he could, and would, still protect her if needed. Edward wondered if it might be his turn to sob.
Chapter Five
Elizabeth spent the next two days in seclusion. She used her courses as an ongoing excuse. Her maid wouldn’t tell anyone the truth, and she counted on the Mistress of the Bedchamber being too modest to talk about her cycles to anyone. The other ladies-in-waiting would pretend sympathy. Elizabeth simply couldn’t bring herself to appear in public when there was a chance, a very good one, that she’d encounter Edward. She was embarrassed by her wanton behavior, and she was heartbroken that he’d toy with her. It was common knowledge among everyone at court that it was pointless to ask for her hand. After four broken betrothals, the last nearly two years ago, she accepted no man was serious when they made an offer for her. She understood it was a ploy to bed her, and she wanted no part in that fall from grace. She wanted to believe better of Edward, had begun to think better of him, but he’d toyed with her when she was most vulnerable. She resented him and loathed her own weakness.
When the third day dawned, she had no choice but to escape her self-imposed prison. She had commitments that she dared not shirk any longer. She reached under her bed and once more pulled the secret box from the floorboards. Even her maid wasn’t aware of its existence, since she laundered her own secret stash of clothing. This time, she pulled free a plain deep blue kirtle and gray tunic. She preferred this type of clothing since it required no assistance. She slipped into the gown and pulled on her boots, threw her cloak around her shoulders and entered the tunnels. This time she exited near the stables but turned toward the postern gate on foot. She wouldn’t need to ride within Stirling, and there was no way she might leave through that gate on horseback without drawing attention. She pulled her hood low over her eyes and huddled into it as much to protect herself from the wind as to disguise herself. She slipped past the guards with barely a nod. She was familiar with which guards wouldn’t ask questions and would turn a blind eye when she rode or walked into the surrounding town. While it took willpower not to check behind her, Elizabeth wouldn’t risk a glance back since she’d look suspicious. This day, especially, she sensed someone watching her. She wondered if her father set a new man to trail her. He did this from time to time when he suspected she might not be where she claimed, but she was yet to be caught.
Edward watched her slip through the gate. He’d been on edge since he followed her into the bailey three days earlier. He wanted to pound down her door and demand that she return to the land of the living. He wanted to apologize, then promise that all his words were said in truth. Now he wanted to rail against her for taking unnecessary risks when she left the castle alone. He pushed off the wall he’d logged too many hours against in the past three days as he prayed she’d slip out for another ride. Years of hiding and watching the enemy taught him to be invisible and patient. Finally, today he was rewarded. He pulled his own hood low over his head and passed through the postern gate. He shot a quelling look at the guard, and the man averted his gaze knowing not to naysay the king’s brother.
Edward trailed after Elizabeth, keeping her in his sights but allowing as much as four blocks to separate them. He wondered where she was headed as she passed the main street of shops and wound her way into an open expanse that separated the town center from several small cottages. She picked up her pace until she reached the fourth cottage, where she knocked on the door. Edward slipped along until he was only two doors down. He watched a young man open the door and welcome Elizabeth into his embrace. The hug was too long to be perfunctory. It was one of true affection, and Edward wanted to plow his fist into the man’s face. From his hiding place the man looked too young for Elizabeth, but he was too far away to be sure. The door shut behind Elizabeth as she dropped her hood. Edward witnessed a warmth to her smile he never saw at court. His heart was pinched with jealousy. He wanted to be on the receiving end of such a glowing welcome.
Edward circled around the cottages as he took in the condition of the structures and the land surrounding them. The one Elizabeth entered was the best by far. There was a cow in an enclosure behind the cottage with a vegetable patch growing along the sunny side. There was a lean-to shed with three walls where a horse was securely tied. It was an older mare, but the animal bore a resemblance to the mount Elizabeth rode. The windows had fur hangings to cover them, and white smoke puffed from the opening in the thatch. Edward found shadows between two of the cottages where he waited without being noticed. The longer he waited, the more his temper rose from a low simmer to a rolling boil.
What the devil is she doing in there? Why is a lady-in-waiting wandering on her own both on horseback and on foot? Who was that man, and why is she in his home?
Edward waited nearly two hours before the door opened and Elizabeth’s voice carried to him.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Thomas. I’ll try to come earlier so I can stay longer. Take care of the girls. I love you all.”
Edward’s world tilted as he listened to Elizabeth. He watched her cross the field toward the town center then peered around to see if the door to the cottage remained open. He saw the young man watching Elizabeth. He watched until she disappeared from sight. The door clicked shut and then he dashed across the green. He moved quickly and spotted Elizabeth as she passed through the postern gate. He followed her through and was about to call to her when he saw her lean against the castle wall. He rushed forward, worried something was wrong, but she disappeared through the small hatch. When he reached the wall, he ran his hand over the stones, but he found nothing to open the door. There wasn’t even a crevice where the door would meet the wall. After five minutes of searching, fear of drawing too much attention to himself and the castle wall forced him to give up.
Elizabeth rushed to her chamber and called for her maid as she stripped down to her chemise and stored the clothes for the next day. As she soaked in the tub, she reflected on her day, spent with
her half-brother, Thomas, and their half-sisters, Sarah and Amy. Elizabeth loved the time spent with her siblings, but she always left with a hollow in her heart that inevitably filled with anger. Her father sired Thomas not long after she was born but refused to acknowledge his son. Elizabeth met him when she arrived at court because she rounded a corner in the town market and came face to face with a younger version of her father. After speaking to him, she learned he was her brother, and he was well-informed about both who she was and who their father was. He also recognized that their father refused to admit to siring him, even though he paid for the cottage in which he and his mother lived. Elizabeth was further disillusioned five years ago when Thomas informed her that two babes were brought to his cottage by the village midwife. One was a year old and the other a newborn; their mother had died birthing the younger one. They resembled Thomas and Elizabeth’s father too strongly to ever have their parentage questioned. Thomas’s mother took them in and had been raising them as her own ever since. Elizabeth’s mood soured as she remembered how her mother turned a blind eye to her husband’s philandering. It was during times like this that Elizabeth counted her spinsterhood as a blessing. Edward flashed into her mind. She sunk below the water, but when she emerged, her mind was still locked on thoughts of Edward. She hadn’t seen him in three days, and she dreaded seeing him that night, but there was no way to hide any longer. He occupied too many of her waking moments and flooded her dreams as well. She alternated between listlessness and restlessness as she remembered how her body reacted to his touch. She brought herself to release several times as she pictured them together in the woods, but as the spasms subsided, she remembered his words of marriage and her ecstasy fizzled.
Once dressed, Elizabeth made her way to the Great Hall and her place at the table just below the dais. She kept her eyes averted and head bowed throughout the meal. As soon as the ladies-in-waiting were free to retire, she slipped out with two other women and went to her chamber, where she cried herself to sleep for yet another night.
A Spinster at the Highland Court: The Highland Ladies Book One Page 4
