by Lynn Mann
I tuned into each of the herbs as much as I could and my head began to ache. I nodded to let Nerys know I had done as she had told me.
‘Right, now, the common cold. Feel as if you have one. Feel the sore throat, headache and congestion. Concentrate on the congestion. You can’t breathe through your nose, your whole face feels as if it’s solid and throbbing. Take that feeling to each of the herbs you have tuned in to and tell me if any of them lessen the congestion feeling. Take your time, Amarilla, don’t rush.’
I did as she instructed. By the time I got to the fifth herb, my head felt as if it would explode, but I had experienced no lessening of the sense of congestion I had created, so I carried on. I reached number seven, a small herb with tiny leaves and little pink flowers. I tuned into it and married it up with the congestion I could almost physically feel now. Something shifted; all sense of congestion disappeared and so long as I was tuned into the little pink-flowered herb, I couldn’t for the life of me recreate it.
‘Number seven?’
I was rewarded with a beaming smile. ‘Wonderful, that’s just marvellous. Well done Amarilla, very well done,’ Nerys said. ‘We’ll try another.’
‘Is my head meant to ache like this?’
‘Oh, that always happens when you’re not used to using your mind this way, the more you practise, the less you’ll ache. Now which of these herbs would you suggest for a bad bruise? Go through the same steps as before and take your time.’
By the time I had correctly identified the herbs used to overcome bruising, fever, earache and menstrual cramps, I was as exhausted as Nerys was delighted. ‘Well I think we can say you have a strong aptitude for herbalism, the like of which I haven’t witnessed in any other student to date,’ she said. ‘Go home and get some rest. Get rid of your headache and you’ll be fresh for tomorrow.’
‘Tomorrow?’
‘Well normally I’d test you for all three Healing Skills together, but I’m afraid I rather got carried away with your ability with herbs, so I think we’ll need to leave bone-singing and tissue-singing until tomorrow.’
Judging by the pounding in my head, tomorrow was going to be too soon.
I arrived home to find both of my parents anxiously waiting for me.
‘Darling how did you get on?’ my mother asked. ‘I hope you concentrated and did your best, because you’ll never get accepted for training if you just daydream out the window and Nerys is being so good to us, testing you during the summer break…’
‘Mailen, let Am speak. Amarilla, how did it go?’ said my father.
I told them what had happened and as my mother listened, she leant further and further towards me until she was barely seated on her chair. ‘Oh, my little girl, I knew it, I knew you could do something worthwhile with your life, now tell me again from the beginning. Leave absolutely nothing out.’
‘She’s tired Mail, she’s got bags under her eyes, let her rest,’ my father protested.
‘Nonsense, some things are far more important than sleep, Frank, this is our daughter’s future we are talking about, now, Am dear, from the beginning.’
‘Dad, it’s ok,’ I said. ‘You go back to work, I don’t mind telling Mum again, honestly.’
My father sighed. ‘See you this evening then sweetheart,’ he said, laying his hand on my shoulder as he passed behind my chair. ‘Try and get at least some rest.’
After my mother had finally finished grilling me, I had a few hours to myself before I was needed to help with bread-making. I took myself outside and lay down on the grass beneath our old oak tree. My head was still too full of the day’s events to allow sleep to come, so I closed my eyes and visited my favourite subject. I saw my piebald mare grazing in the summer sunshine, her coat flecked by damp patches of sweat. Every now and then she stamped a foot to shake off a fly, or reached round with her nose to dislodge a biting insect from her torso. I felt the now familiar whisper fleet tantalisingly past my mind and I revelled in the sure knowledge that somewhere, she existed.
Then, from nowhere, the whisper popped and became far more definite. I reached for it with my mind but the more I reached, the more I seemed to push it away, until I could no longer sense it at all. Puzzled, I opened my eyes and sat up. What was that? There was nobody I could ask and I had learnt from long experience that mentioning horses to my family and friends would be met with distress, amusement or boredom. There was only one way to try and work out what had happened.
I lay back down and closed my eyes again. I tried to relax my mind and forced myself not to try and reach out to anything. Gradually, I fell back into my daydream and pictured my horse’s face in the minutest detail I possibly could. I saw the whorl of white hairs in the middle of her forehead, her beautiful white eyelashes, her pink muzzle with its fine coating of tiny silver-white hairs and long whiskers, her pale blue eyes, each surrounded by a circle of soft, black skin in her white face. I even saw the look of focused irritation before each stamp of her foot or swipe at the biters on her body.
And then I felt it again. Instead of the faint whisper passing me by, I had a definite sense of her. I found I could maintain the awareness of her and she would stay near me, but if I reached out to her with even the tiniest portion of my mind, she’d pull away from me and be gone. I was happier than I’d ever been in my life. I must have fallen asleep at some point, but when I woke to my mother’s voice calling me to come and help her, I still had a smile on my face.
By the time bedtime arrived, my mind was churning. What had changed? Was it something in me that had changed and made me more open to my horse? Was it because of the testing? Or was she changing somehow? Was she okay? Was she trying to reach me? No, it couldn’t be that, if she needed me she would just tug me and I’d go to her. So, what happened? My mind went round and round in circles as the night hours passed.
When Nerys saw me, she wasn’t pleased. ‘Amarilla did you rest as I instructed you to yesterday?’ she asked.
‘Yes, well that is no, not really. Mum wanted to hear all about it and that went on for a while and then I didn’t get much sleep last night for some reason.’
‘Your mother, ah,’ said Nerys. ‘Well we’ll say no more about it, but after today’s session I’ll come home with you and tell Mailen all about it while you escape, that is, I mean, go and relax. I suppose I’m not surprised you didn’t sleep much, I shouldn’t have pushed you so hard yesterday. Today we’ll see how you get on with bone and tissue-singing.’ She indicated that I should sit at a table near the door, on which sat several bones and some fluid-filled jars containing what appeared to be kidneys, a heart and some other indefinable tissue.
‘Yesterday, you learnt to sense which herbs would resonate with, and ease, which conditions. With bone and tissue-singing, you will need to be able to sense the energy vibration of a patient’s healthy bones or tissue and identify where there is any divergence from that healthy vibration, which will indicate fracture or disease. You will then learn to produce a sound that will resonate with the injured bone or tissue so you can send your mind to the affected area along the pathway you are making with your voice. Once you can do that, you can heal the fracture or disease with your intention. Understand?’ Nerys asked.
‘I think so.’
‘So, you can understand then, that a Herbalist is merely an intermediary between herb and patient; it is the herb that does the healing. With Bone or Tissue-Singers, on the other hand, it is the Healer who performs the healing and this is why bone-singing and tissue-singing require much longer apprenticeships. It is a long time before an Apprentice is allowed to assist her Master in finding and making the appropriate sounds, and an even longer time before there is any question of an Apprentice applying intent.’
‘How long are the apprenticeships?’ I asked.
‘Bone-singing and tissue-singing apprenticeships average around six years, depending on the ability and temperament of the Apprentice. Herbalism apprenticeships average around three or four years, again de
pending on the individual, but I do know of one student over in Mountainsfoot who did his in two and a half.’
I knew that Horse-Bonded were usually tugged by their horses once they were adults, but I also knew that something with my horse was changing and that there was a good chance she would tug me well before I reached adulthood. I made up my mind. ‘Nerys, I’m sorry for wasting your time this morning, but I’ve decided I don’t want to test for the Singing Skills, I’d like to be a Herbalist. And I’d like to start my apprenticeship now.’
‘But Amarilla,’ Nerys protested, ‘won’t you at least try the other two Skills so you can choose between all three? I’m sure you’ll have aptitude for either one of them, just look at how quickly your sister took to rock-singing.’
‘I would really like to be a Herbalist,’ I insisted. ‘I took to it well enough yesterday, didn’t I? And the apprenticeship is so much shorter.’
Nerys was only seconds in figuring it out. ‘You don’t want to do a long apprenticeship, because you think your horse will tug you in the next few years. You want to start now because then you should finish aged around seventeen, possibly even sooner with the aptitude you showed for it yesterday. You do realise that it is extremely unusual for a horse to call for a person until they are adult?’
I was grateful that she was questioning when, rather than if, my horse would call for me. ‘I know, but I know my mare will tug me sooner. She’s changing, I can feel her.’
Nerys regarded me thoughtfully. ‘I think you’d better tell me all about it,’ she said finally.
And so I told her everything. How I had started to see images of my horse in my mind from the day I learnt of the Horse-Bonded. How for the last couple of years I had felt a whisper of her when I thought of her, and then how yesterday I had felt her change.
Nerys looked at me searchingly. After some minutes had passed, she said, ‘I’ve never heard of this happening to anyone who has been bonded. It sounds like a child’s fantasy, but Amarilla I believe you. Your performance yesterday in the herbalism testing was exceptional. I have never seen a student take to it so quickly and with so little instruction, and the earache test isn’t usually attempted at this early stage, let alone passed. You are clearly very sensitive and the fact that you’ve been using your mind to sense your horse since you were so young explains how you had so much awareness and control over it yesterday. I did wonder how that was possible.’
Gratitude and relief overwhelmed me, and I burst into tears. Nerys came to sit next to me and put an arm around my shoulders. ‘I understand why you want as short an apprenticeship as possible and why you want to start now. Please stand.’
I did as I was asked. Nerys stood opposite me and placed both of her hands on my shoulders. ‘Amarilla Nixon, by the light, do you agree to apprentice yourself to me, Nerys Hicks, and only me, until I deem you worthy of the title Herbalist?’
‘Nerys Hicks, by the light, I agree to apprentice myself to you, and only you, until you deem me worthy of the title Herbalist, or until my horse tugs me, whichever is sooner,’ I said, hoping she wouldn’t be angry.
Her eyes widened momentarily and then, stifling a smile, she said, ‘Apprentice Nixon, I accept you under those terms.’
‘Master Hicks, how do I tell my parents about me leaving school early to start my apprenticeship?’
‘I’ll come home with you now, so your parents can sign your apprenticeship forms, and I’ll tell them,’ said Nerys. ‘I’ll tell them that their daughter, whilst having more knowledge of horses, the Horse-Bonded and the Histories than any other student I’ve had the fortune to meet, doesn’t tend to apply herself particularly well at school and yet is the most naturally gifted Apprentice Herbalist I’ve ever come across. I have a feeling that the idea of her daughter becoming the youngest qualified Herbalist in the Histories will be enough to quell any objections Mailen might have.’
I noticed she didn’t mention any objections my father might have; she obviously knew my parents very well.
Four
Apprenticeship
My parents agreed readily to my leaving school and beginning my apprenticeship a year early, although my mother insisted that I at least enjoy the summer break with my friends first and begin my apprenticeship when they went back to school.
By the time the first day of my apprenticeship arrived, I was nervous. I entered the stone building which housed the healing rooms and knocked on the door of Nerys’s office. She flung open the door.
‘Morning Apprentice Nixon, bright and early I see, very good. Right, we’ll get you straight into things. Come with me.’
I followed her into a small room next to her office.
‘This is your herb journal,’ she said, laying her hand on a thick, hard-bound book, ‘and that is your herb dictionary.’ She pointed to a thinner, soft-backed book.
I picked up the journal and leafed through it. Each page was headed with the name of an ailment but was otherwise blank. “Constipation” read the top of the first page I stopped at, followed by “Hair loss”, “Hay Fever” and “Rheumatism”. I frowned, confused.
‘Don’t worry, the pages will soon be filled in. This book,’ she said, picking up the dictionary, ‘shows all of the plants we have so far identified as being useful in healing. There is a detailed drawing, as well as a description of when it flowers, where it can be sourced and anything else you need to know. Your job for now will be to work your way through the dictionary, finding examples of the herbs, and then you will need to take each ailment listed in your journal and describe which herb or combination of herbs you can sense will help the affliction. You will learn first-hand what the different herbs are, where you can find them and at what time of year, and what they may be used for. Any time you need any help or advice, my door is open. For the coming weeks you will need to restrict yourself to herbs that can be found within the village, as you haven’t yet been given permission to venture beyond without an adult and I will be busy with some of the other Apprentices. After that, I will need to give you the lesson that you will be missing at school, which will enable you to leave by yourself. For now, it’s just you, your senses and the plants. Apprentice Nixon, your work has begun.’
She whisked from the room, leaving me with my two books. I felt daunted but slightly excited. I’m doing this for you, I thought out to my horse and imagined that she could hear me.
I found that sourcing herbs wasn’t a problem; the four-inch-thick journal was where difficulty lay, as I had to go to each page, understand the ailment and its symptoms, try to create a sense of it in my mind and then test each of the herbs I had found so far to see if any of them would ease the symptoms in any way. And there were an awful lot of ailments listed, many of which I had never heard of, let alone had any chance of being able to create a sense of. I took my concern to Nerys.
‘Don’t worry, just tackle the ailments you already know, they will be enough for you to be going on with and when you run out of those, you will be ready to join me as an observer in my treatment room. As different patients come for treatment, you’ll be able to tune in and get a sense of the energy vibration of their ailment. You will then be able to recreate it on your own,’ she said.
A month or so later, I had sourced all of the herbs that could be found in the village and farms that immediately surrounded it. I hadn’t identified what they all could be used for, but I found that I could only spend part of each day creating ailments and tuning into herbs, before my head ached too much for me to continue, so I would spend the rest of the day sourcing more herbs and learning how to store them properly. I was ready to venture further afield and that meant asking Nerys to teach me about the subject that was avoided in all households that held children under the age of fourteen; the Woeful.
Since the first time I had heard their mention, the only way I had found of soothing the churning in my stomach whenever the Woeful entered my thoughts was to think of my horse. I had a well-practised routine. I would push thoughts of
anything but her to one side and then picture her in the minute detail that always seemed to come to me. The way the white part of her coat was so white that the rays of the sun appeared to cling to her so that she shone even brighter. The way that she would lift her head suddenly from grazing, ears pricked and nostrils flared as she sensed potential danger lurking in the trees beyond. The way all of the muscles of her body would tense ready for flight. The way she would prance around the other horses now and then, showing them how lucky they were to have her as part of their herd. It was always as if I were actually standing watching her. And then I would feel her, just at the edge of my mind. As time went on, I realised that she was always there; I just had to clear my mind so that I could sense her. I thought of her now and relaxed as I knocked on Nerys’s door.
‘Enter,’ she called out.
I stepped into her office and took a deep breath. ‘Master Hicks, I would like to be able to leave the village to source more herbs. Please would you teach me about the Woeful?’
‘I see those brothers of yours have been unable to contain themselves Amarilla, when did you hear of the Woeful?’
‘At Holly’s Quest Ceremony. Robbie only told me because he heard Mum warn Holly about them, he said they stalk their prey from the trees, and then jump on them and rip their throats out.’
‘I can see how Robbie would pick up on those particular details, but I can assure you there is a lot more to it than that. The Woeful should not be regarded as monsters, but rather as creatures to be pitied. Come and sit down with me over here.’ She indicated two soft armchairs over by the unlit fireplace. ‘With your knowledge of the Histories we have a head start. You are, of course, familiar with The Old?’
