by Lynn Mann
Rowena put an arm around my shoulders and gave me a brief hug. ‘Let’s get you into your bed. Adam’s left one of his old shirts there for you to wear and I’ll sort out some proper clothes for you in the morning. What did happen to your stuff by the way? It’s a shame you’ve lost all the gifts from your Quest Ceremony.’
‘I didn’t h-have a Quest Ceremony, I didn’t br-bring any stuff,’ I mumbled as I followed Rowena into a small bedroom and sat down on the bed. A large bowl of the promised stew steamed tantalisingly on the bedside table.
‘Well that makes two of us, I didn’t have one either, but at least I made sure I packed enough gear so I could look after myself. Why didn’t you bring anything with you? Spare clothes and food, at least?’
The full implications of what I had done swamped me. The second I had been aware that my mare was tugging me, I had just left and followed my mind. I hadn’t told my family and friends what had happened and where I was going — for all they knew I was trapped somewhere and hurt, maybe even dead. I hadn’t even remembered that they existed until a few moments ago. My tears flowed anew. ‘I was in the w-w-w-woods looking for new h-herbs, when I was t-t-tugged, and I just g-got up and r-r-r-ran.’
Rowena was incredulous. ‘You mean you didn’t even tell anyone you were leaving? Oh, are you an orphan? Do you not have family? But even then, surely your friends would have wanted to know so they could give you a proper ceremony and everything, surely you have friends?’
I nodded and took a deep breath before answering. ‘And family. I have parents, a sister and two brothers. I didn’t think. I couldn’t think. When my horse tugged me, most of my mind went to her and I just got up and ran after it, I felt as if I would lose it if I didn’t so I just ran and ran and I was hardly even aware of how cold and hungry and tired I was until I collapsed. And then you found me.’ I looked down at my feet in shame.
‘Phewee. That’s not what normally happens when a horse tugs a human and it’s not supposed to. No wonder your horse was beside herself. Eat your stew and then get into bed and when you come downstairs tomorrow, Adam and I will have figured out what to do. There’s some salve on the bedside table to ease your cuts and stop them becoming infected. Amarilla,’ she said and waited until I looked up to meet her dark eyes before continuing, ‘it will be okay. Do you trust me?’
‘Yes.’
‘Then believe me when I tell you that it will be alright. Nothing has happened that can’t be fixed and you are among friends who will help you to fix it. Okay?’
I managed a weak smile. ‘Thank you, Rowena.’
‘See you in the morning.’ She backed out of the room, pulling the door shut behind her.
The stew was delicious and as I lay down, clean and warm and with a comfortably full stomach, I let my awareness go to my horse. She too had grazed plentifully and was now sleeping standing up under a large oak tree with one hind leg resting. She was weary and had sore hands. No that was me. She was weary and had lacerated knees. Or was that me too? I twitched and flicked my tail as an owl hooted in the tree overhead. That was definitely her. I allowed her peace and contentment to fill me, and drifted off to sleep.
The sun had long been up when I woke the next morning and as I sat up in bed and rubbed my eyes, I realised that I was feeling completely normal again. There was a pile of clothes on the end of my bed and I leaned forward to rifle through them. There was winter underwear, woollen tights, two pairs of leggings, both black, two undershirts, two white overshirts, a thick green pullover, a black wool-lined cloak and a pair of black leather boots with buckles at the ankles like Rowena’s.
I dressed quickly in a pair of leggings, an overshirt and the pullover, all of which fitted me reasonably well and appeared to be brand new, I noticed with a grimace. How would I repay Rowena? I opened my bedroom door and stuck my head out. I could hear voices coming from downstairs and followed them to the kitchen, where I found Adam and Rowena sitting at the kitchen table, sipping greenmint tea.
‘Good morning,’ said Adam, ‘you look better this morning, would you like some porridge?’ He was already making his way to the stove where a pan sat half on and half off of the heat plate, keeping warm.
‘Yes please, thank you, I slept really well. Thank you for everything, I’m so grateful.’
Rowena pushed a chair away from the table with a booted foot and beckoned me to sit on it. ‘Come and have your breakfast. How’s your horse this morning?’
I shifted my awareness from my immediate surroundings to the part of my mind I now shared with my horse. ‘She’s alright, she’s walking through a forest and she’s concentrating in case she senses anything amiss. She wishes she were out in the open. She doesn’t want to have to try to move at speed because it won’t be easy through the trees, but at least they’re not too close. They’re really big trees.’
‘Big trees, hmmm, can she smell smoke?’ asked Adam, putting a bowl of porridge with slices of apple on top in front of me.
I paused for a second. ‘Yes, now you mention it, but it’s very faint. I doubt I’d be able to smell it with my own nose but what she senses from her nose is different from what I sense with mine. I know its smoke she can smell but it’s not how I would smell smoke.’ I looked from Adam to Rowena. ‘I’m not making much sense, am I?’
They both laughed. ‘You’re making complete sense,’ said Rowena. ‘The smoke smells more as if it’s made up of lots of smells when you sense it from your mare doesn’t it?’
‘You know it’s smoke, even though it’s not how you smell smoke, and you have no idea how you know that it’s smoke anyway,’ said Adam and laughed. ‘Now we’re all talking nonsense together and yet we all know what we’re talking about!’
‘You’re Horse-Bonded too, aren’t you?’ I asked Adam. His laughter died down and Rowena sat up straighter in her chair.
‘I was,’ he said. ‘Peace died a few years back. Bonded for forty-one years we were, he tugged me when I was twenty-nine. I’ll never stop missing him as long as I live, but I try not to think too hard about him, I don’t want to disturb him where he is now.’
The mural in the living room came into my mind and I remembered the strength of feeling that emanated from it. ‘That’s you and Peace in the mural. I’m so sorry for your loss.’
‘Don’t be, there’s no need. I count my blessings that he chose me to share his life. All he taught me, all he was, all we shared, is still with me constantly. I know he’s fine where he is now, because he stayed with me for a bit after he left his body and he told me so. Once he knew I’d come to terms with it all and would be alright, he moved on. What’s there to be sorry about?’
‘He was beautiful,’ I said.
‘Yes, he was,’ replied Adam. ‘Now, back to your horse. Can she smell water at all?’
‘Yes, she’s aware of a large body of water. She’s between it and where the smoke is coming from.’
‘She’s a day’s ride away from here,’ said Adam and looked at Rowena. ‘She’s in Tall Wood, the charcoal burners are at work there and Lake Charlton is at the far end.’
Rowena nodded and then said, ‘Adam and I have been discussing your situation and we have a plan. But first I need to ask, are you able to keep your mind with you, or is your horse still having to hold you together? Oak let her know when we had found you and she told him that she’d managed to push you back to yourself while you were unconscious, but she didn’t know if she’d be able to hold you together once you were awake again. It’s an unnecessary burden you’re placing on her if you’re relying on her to keep your mind intact.’
‘It’s okay, I realised yesterday that there’s part of my mind that is joined with part of hers and I just have to be aware of that part of my mind to know how she is, I don’t have to try and reach her with all of myself. Not that that was what I did anyway when she tugged me, it just happened,’ I replied.
‘How do you know your horse is a mare?’ asked Rowena. ‘I didn’t know anything about Oak unt
il I met him, did you with Peace?’ she asked Adam, at which he shook his head.
‘I’ve known what she looked like and that she was female since I was seven,’ I told them, ‘and then four years ago I started to sense her as a sort of whisper that kept passing by my mind. A couple of years ago, I felt her change and realised I had a definite sense of her at the edge of my mind, but if I reached for her she moved further away. She wouldn’t allow any contact. I dreamt of her though and I think I was seeing what she was actually doing. And then when she tugged me, I recognised it was her and my mind just flew to her, I couldn’t stop it and I wouldn’t have known how to try. So, I just followed it.’
There was a stunned silence. Adam had raised his mug to his mouth to take a sip of tea and then lowered it back down slowly as I spoke, staring at me all the while. Rowena was frowning slightly.
Eventually Adam said, ‘I think you’d better tell us everything, from the beginning.’
Several hours, a bowl of porridge and numerous mugs of tea later, I finished my tale. Adam and Rowena were encouraging listeners and I felt completely at ease as I told them the story of my life so far. They asked the occasional question, but otherwise let me talk at my own pace until I was hoarse and had no more to tell.
‘Well, it sounds to me as if you’ve spent a long time throwing as much of your attention and awareness after your horse as you could, but she managed to hold herself apart from you. When she tugged you, your mind flew down the path it had been trying to find for so long and you lost yourself. She must have wondered what on earth was happening,’ said Adam.
‘That’s what she told Oak, she said you had lost your mind,’ said Rowena. ‘I didn’t realise she meant literally. Bloody Nora what a tale, nothing’s ever happened like this before, I wonder what it means?’
Adam said, ‘I don’t know, but I think Amarilla here’s one to keep an eye on, she and that mare of hers. How old are you?’ he asked me.
‘Sixteen,’ I said.
Rowena sat up straight in her chair. ‘Sixteen? Honestly?’
‘Yes, I know I’m young, it’s why hardly anyone believed me when I told them my mare would tug me soon, but when I felt her change a few years ago I knew she wouldn’t leave it very long, I don’t know how I knew but I just did. How old are you?’ I asked her.
‘Twenty-three. Oak tugged me nearly three years ago and I was considered young,’ she said.
‘Well things are definitely changing. I sense interesting times ahead, but the horses will know what they’re doing. I’m grateful to you both that somehow I seem to be involved in it,’ Adam said with a smile. ‘Now Amarilla, if you’re in agreement, this is what Rowena and I think should happen. We, and the villagers that Rowena spoke to while you were asleep, would like to give you your Quest Ceremony this morning. After that, you will go to find your mare and with any luck you’ll bump into her before the day is out.’
I opened my mouth to speak but Rowena held up her hand. ‘Let Adam finish.’
‘Rowena and Oak will leave when you do and will travel to Rockwood to let your family know what has happened and that you are alright, and then they will meet you at The Gathering. I, too, will travel to The Gathering so that when you and your horse arrive, I can continue your apprenticeship with you until I deem you qualified. If you have repeated the words you spoke at your Apprenticeship Ceremony accurately, and I have every reason to believe that you have, then you aren’t breaking any of your promises to your Master. I’m sure Master Hicks will be relieved to learn that you will be taken on by another Master, that’s me,’ he put his hand to his heart, ‘rather than waste all of your training. Being a qualified Herbalist will be of immense use to you and everyone else, as you’ll discover once you reach The Gathering.’
I didn’t know what to say. I looked from one to the other of them as they grinned at my confusion. I finally said, ‘but none of the villagers here know me, I can’t accept gifts from them, I feel bad enough that you’ve given me clothes that I can’t pay you for. And what’s The Gathering?’
Rowena grinned and rose to her feet. ‘We’ll leave your mare to fill you in on that, you may as well do one thing the way it’s normally done, now here is a back-sack. You need to go and pack your clothes into it before your Quest Ceremony. The weather will hold for the next few weeks, according to the Weather-Singer I asked this morning, so you can pack your cloak, put it near the top though, you’ll need it at night time. I’m just off to let everyone know your ceremony will start in an hour.’
I already liked Rowena a lot. She was a strange mix of older sister and mother; there was something about her that spoke of being used to organising and thinking for other people less capable than herself. She carried with her an air of melancholy though and I had a feeling that she probably had a temper. Her black clothing, her height, her black hair and eyes combined with her pale skin to give her an appearance of someone not to be trifled with and yet she had shown me nothing but kindness, and Adam clearly thought of her very fondly.
He was little taller than I, but of stocky build and had a ruddy complexion, telling of a life lived mostly outdoors. His white hair was thick, wavy and cut to his shoulders, and he had deep green eyes that spoke of an inner calm and self-assurance. He moved lithely for his age and the decor of his home spoke of a much younger person. I wondered if his youthful energy and outlook were as a result of having been Horse-Bonded.
I had known Adam for less than a day and Rowena for just a little longer, but I felt affection for both of them and looked forward to seeing them again once I had found my horse. My horse. She was so close now and I would meet her today. A tingle went down my spine and I found a new energy as I bounded up the stairs to pack my new belongings.
Over the next hour, the noise of people chattering excitedly below my bedroom window slowly increased in volume as a crowd gathered. I grew more and more nervous. By the time Rowena called up the stairs that it was time, I was pacing back and forth across my room. Was that a touch of concern I could feel from my mare? I tried to calm down so she wouldn’t think anything was amiss. I took a deep breath, lifted my back-sack and went down the stairs. Rowena was nowhere to be seen, so I made my way along the hall to the front room and took one last glance at Adam and Peace in the mural on the wall.
As soon as I stepped out through the front door and on to the doorstep, cheering erupted. Rowena and Adam stood in front of me, smiling and Rowena gestured to a pile of things laid out on a small table beside her. I could see a bow and some arrows for hunting, some blankets, a cooking pan with another, smaller one nestled inside it and a plate, beaker, flask of water, cutlery and several knives. There was also an open bag of food which appeared to contain several loaves of bread, a large cheese, fruit and vegetables, and sealed packets of all different sizes.
‘Adam and I are representing your family today, and we would like to give you your quest gifts,’ Rowena said warmly, and then helped me to pack each item into my back-sack. I paused at a strange-looking blanket and she said, ‘that’s for your horse, I made it last night. It’s to keep her warm and dry at night time. See, these buckles do up at her chest, these straps cross under her belly and do up at the side, and this layer makes it waterproof. I made one for Oak last winter as he hates the rain, absolutely hates it. I thought your mare might appreciate it. I had to guess size-wise, but from the sense of her that Oak gave me, I think it should fit.’
I couldn’t find the words to express my gratitude to her, so I didn’t try. I flung my arms around her and hugged her and hoped she understood. When I eventually let her go, she grinned at me and said, ‘you’re welcome. Go and find that mare of yours and I’ll see you in a week or so.’
Adam opened his arms out to me and enveloped me in a warm hug. ‘Good luck Amarilla, find your horse, bond with her and cherish her. I’ll be waiting for you at The Gathering.’
‘Thank you both, so much, for everything,’ I said. They nodded and smiled in unison, and Adam gestured for me to
go and walk down the corridor the villagers had formed, leading out of the village.
Hundreds of smiling faces drew me away from Adam’s cottage and I was overwhelmed as small coloured pieces of paper were thrown up in the air to land on me, along with small dried flowers.
‘Good luck Amarilla, take care,’ ‘All the best dear,’ ‘Congratulations Amarilla, find your horse soon!’ and ‘Stay safe, come back and see us with your horse some time!’ were just some of the words of encouragement that I could make out from the calling strangers as I walked past them.
I heard a droning noise behind me and felt the pain recede from the gashes on my hands and knees. I looked down at my palms and saw that the lacerations had knitted together and now looked weeks old. I turned and saw a middle-aged, blond-haired woman walking behind me as she hummed. She smiled and indicated for me to carry on walking.
Little tiny horseshoes were hung on to my clothes, my hair and my back-sack, and by the time I reached the end of the human corridor, I was covered from head to toe in them. I turned and waved my thanks. ‘Thank you, thank you! I hope to see you again!’ I walked out of the village and was alone.
The warmth which the villagers had lavished on me persisted and I realised that all their good wishes had been captured by the charms that they had hung on me, and I really did take them all with me.
The cobbled street petered out soon after I passed the last houses and I found myself walking along a beaten track that wound its way up into the hills in front of me. I was following the sense of my mare in my mind and I shifted more of my awareness to her. She had left the woodland and she, too, was approaching hills. My excitement steadily grew. I had dreamt of her for nine years and in the next few hours, I would finally meet her!
When the sun reached its peak, I realised that I was hungry. I was walking alongside a stream that meandered down from the hills, and I decided to sit and eat some lunch whilst I had fresh water to drink. This was an improvement, I thought to myself as I sat on a boulder and munched a cheese sandwich; I was on the way to find my mare and, excited as I was, I was aware of my body’s needs and I was looking after myself. At that, a feeling appeared in my mind that definitely didn’t originate with me. Approval, that was it — my horse approved! I couldn’t sit still any longer. I drank as much water from the stream as I could and then shouldered my back-sack and carried on my way, munching the remainder of my sandwich.
