“I know what I did, but what the heck did you do,” Reed asked Carson.
“I wish I knew! Little Miss Thing won’t open up and let me into her head to understand,” Carson replied.
“I know you said she was mad,” he said. “But I didn’t think she was that mad. She never resists you.”
Kami raised her eyebrow and I shot her a look that said we’d talk later. She was just as curious as Carson. I wiggled a bit, trying to get out of his arms so I could avoid this entire conversation.
“Did she say anything to give you a clue,” Reed asked Carson, his eyes on me this time.
“She said something weird. She said, and I quote, ‘I mean it’s funny that you suddenly want to know how I feel’.”
I looked at the ground before looking at Kami again. She was frowning and glaring daggers at Carson. I felt like I might cry just from listening to the way they were talking about me as if I weren’t standing right here. Kami must have seen that because she broke out of Reed’s hold, ran around the car, and pinched Carson’s arms until he let me go. She told the guys to go away and led me inside. She didn’t say a word, just closed the front door behind us.
As soon as the door shut we broke. We had each put up a good front, hiding the tears until we were away from the guys, but we don’t have to do that with each other. She’s one of the only people that I can stand to see me cry, and I know I’m the same person for her, which rarely ever happened anyway. We cried into each other’s shoulders and by the time we stopped, my dad had walked into the room and wrapped us both in his arms, silently showing his love for us. He held us without saying a word, knowing we needed his warmth and support. When we did stop he wiped away both of our tears.
“I should ring both of their necks,” my dad growled.
“Go ahead,” Kami and I said at the same time.
We looked at each other before laughing while still sniffling. We hugged my dad tight and I found myself wishing I was little again. When I was little all my problems could be solved by ice cream and a hug from dad or mom. Back then, nothing seemed really complicated and guys didn’t really have the power to hurt me.
Then again, I wouldn’t change anything that had happened. I got to have Carson in my life the way I wanted, even if it was for a short time, which would be the only part about it I wanted to change. I pulled away from my dad and went to my mom, who was standing in the kitchen doorway. She wrapped an arm around my shoulders and led me into the kitchen. Kami walked in a few minutes later, having gone upstairs and depositing our dresses in my room.
She made hot chocolate for me and Kami before sitting down at the table with us. Like a good mom, she let me avoid what was going on, even if it was only for a little while. Instead she asked what we were going to do for the rest of the day but we had no idea. We had gotten our dresses and that had been our only true plan, so now we were clueless. Kami put her hand over mine and squeezed.
“Time to talk babe. Tell me what happened. I need to understand,” she said quietly.
“Kami I don’t want to talk about this. It is what it is so let it be,” I said wearily.
“I’m not gonna let this go Alara. What did he do to break you like this? How am I going to kill him if I don’t know what he did to deserve it?”
“I don’t want you to kill him Kami. After all, it may be his fault, but it’s also mine. I let myself believe and that was the part that hurt me the most. I did this to myself I guess. That’s all I want to say about this,” I said with a sigh and a weak smile.
After I said that, Kami kept bugging me for the rest of the night, demanding I tell her what happened. Of course, I refused every single time. We laid around watching TV and doing nothing of consequence for the rest of the night. Finally it was 11:59 and we were laying in my bed talking. I grabbed my phone and watched the time, and as soon as it hit 12:00 I smiled to myself. It was officially my birthday. I said a silent happy birthday to myself, hoping for everything to work itself out, even if only for today.
“Happy birthday Alara. Please just tell me what’s going on with Carson. Please, today is all about you, so just tell me,” Kami whispered to me.
“Fine, but only because I don’t want you bugging me about it on my birthday,” I said with a sigh.
She waited while I composed myself. I took a deep breath and put my hands over my eyes. I couldn’t look at her while I tell her what’s bothering me, my emotions are much too raw when it comes to this subject.
“You remember that day I missed our class, back before I was sick I mean?”
“Yeah, that was the day you started acting weird. That’s when this all started?”
“Yes. Well…I heard you and Carson talking. I know eavesdropping is wrong, but I couldn’t resist when I heard how angry you sounded. I know he doesn’t love me Kami. He doesn’t want to hear me say it because he doesn’t feel the same way,” I said as tears started falling down my face.
“Oh, sweetheart no,” she said quietly.
“Yes Kami. Now you know, so let’s stop talking about this,” I said as I rubbed my eyes.
“Ok fine, but only because it’s your birthday. You know we are gonna have some fun today, right,” she said with a small smile. She stared at me, and I could tell she had more that she wanted to say, but she stayed silent because I asked her to drop it.
“Of course babe,” I said with a smile.
With that we went to bed. I didn’t dream, which I was grateful for. I couldn’t take waking up crying from a sad dream on my birthday.
Chapter 7
I sat up and felt something slide down my face. At first I thought I had been drooling or crying, but when I put my hand to my face I found my face dry. I looked down and saw a piece of paper resting in my lap. I picked it up and rubbed at my eyes, trying to wake up enough to read the note.
Hey girl! I had to go get some top-secret birthday stuff done, but I’ll be back later so we can get ready together. I left your present down in the kitchen next to the coffee maker because I know that’s the first place you’ll go. Feel free to open it. Happy birthday! Love you!
----Kami
I smiled at the mention of my present and coffee. She knows me so well. I got up and changed into Carson’s clothes, even though I knew I shouldn’t. I was going to torture myself for one more day, because the scent of him still made me happy and it was my birthday. Today of all days I could allow myself to indulge in something that was completely horrible for me. I should be letting go, but just for today, I wanted to hang on just a little. Besides, the clothes were actually really comfortable.
I slunk down to the kitchen, not saying a word to anyone. Both of my parents were sitting at the table watching me. My parents had taken the day off from work for my birthday every year since I was born. That much I knew would never change.
Once I was plied with my first cup of coffee, I turned to my parents. They were watching me as I picked up my birthday present from Kami. I wondered what was making them stare so much, but I wasn’t caffeinated enough to question it yet.
I opened the present from Kami and squealed. She had gotten me a pair of beautiful dangling emerald colored earrings. I had looked at these when we were shopping, but had decided that they were too expensive for me to buy along with the dress, she must have snuck back and bought them somehow. They would go perfectly with my dress for tonight, which made me smile even more.
I quickly put them in and used my phone as a mirror. They really did look amazing! I shot off a quick thank you text to Kami. She replied with a smiley face and said she would be busy for the next little bit, but she would let me know when she was on her way back. I grabbed my coffee cup and headed back to the coffee maker, needing a second cup to get going this morning. I drank my coffee as I looked at my parents.
“Happy birthday baby,” my mom said when I finished my coffee.
“Now you tell me,” I said with a laugh.
“We know better than to say anything to you before your seco
nd cup of morning coffee,” my dad said with a grin.
“True, so what’s with all the staring,” I said with my own grin.
“Well, our little girl is 22 and getting ready to graduate. We are just trying to take it all in because we won’t get to do this many more times,” my mom said as she wiped away a fake tear.
“Oh, can it mom! You know we will continually do this, year after year. I won’t let this tradition end. I like the fact that you are taking time to spend with me, most parents would go to work during the day and then celebrate at night. You guys have never done that to me, you’ve always been here, how could I ever want to stop that?”
My mom looked close to tears so I smiled and went to her, wrapping my arms around her. My dad wrapped his arms around both of us and kissed our cheeks. I really love my family and I wanted them to know how much I really did appreciate them. They were my rocks, my safe space.
“Oh, by the way, go look in the driveway,” my dad said, his eyes focused on my teary-eyed mother.
I disengaged from our family hug and ran to the front door. Sitting in the driveway was a new 2016 Jeep Wrangler. I squealed and ran to the Jeep. The keys were in the ignition, so I turned it on and found my favorite stations already programmed into the radio. I was bouncing excitedly in my seat when my parents came out.
I hopped out and threw my arms around my dad, who swung me around in circles. They both laughed as my dad put me down and I ran back to the Jeep. I looked over and stared at my old car. It pales in comparison to this Jeep.
“I love you guys,” I squealed.
“We love you too. We couldn’t have you driving that old car for much longer, so we decided that your birthday was the perfect time to spoil you with something new,” my dad said with a laugh.
“Go get dressed and take us for a ride,” my mom said with a smile.
I ran in and changed into shorts and a tank top. I checked my phone, hoping for my yearly happy birthday text and voicemail from Carson. I was disappointed when I noticed that he hadn’t even sent me a text. I guess this really is the beginning of the end for us. If he doesn’t even want to tell me happy birthday because of how messed up things are right now, then I knew we really didn’t have anything left to hope for.
I sighed and slipped into a pair of tennis shoes, because driving in flip flops is annoying. I ran outside and hugged my parents again. I hopped into the driver’s seat and my mom called shotgun, knowing my dad wouldn’t argue with her. He loves her too much to do that.
Before I backed out of the driveway I turned the radio up right as I Love This Life started to play. The timing for this song was so perfect that I knew today was going to be great, regardless of the fact that I was facing epic heart break. I pushed the thought out of my mind and took to the streets. I drove around with my parents for about an hour, until Kami texted me. I asked my mom to tell me what it said because texting and driving is not something I would ever do, especially not with them in the car with me.
“Kami says she’s on her way home,” my mom said with a smile.
I smiled and took off towards the house. We pulled in just a minute before Kami did. I got out and she gaped at my new car. My parents laughed and headed inside.
“Please tell me this beautiful girl belongs to you,” Kami said as she put her hand on the hood.
“Yep! My parents got her for my birthday! Lately I’ve been worried about my old car. I’ve been worried she would finally give out on me. I’ve been driving that old girl since I got my license, and she wasn’t anywhere close to new when I got her, so I was in need of a new car. I was gonna use my graduation money to get a new car but now I can use that for something else. Maybe me and you can go on a trip,” I said with a grin.
“Yes! I say we hit Italy! That would be so much fun,” she squealed.
“Alright, we’ll start planning soon! For now, let’s go inside and chill out until we are ready to head out.”
“Ok sis, let’s go,” she said with a grin.
We went inside and my mom held out an envelope, it said for your 22nd birthday. I recognized the hand writing immediately. It was from my grandpa. I took it and went upstairs with Kami on my heels. She wasn’t going to let me deal with this on my own, which I needed more than I ever thought I would. Things were about to get really emotional. They say time heals all wounds, but I think this is one of those situations that can’t be healed. You don’t get over loss, you just get through it, and you certainly never forget.
I crawled up onto my bed and wrapped a blanket around my shoulders. Kami sat in front of me and put a hand on my foot, just giving me a bit of human contact to tell me she was there for me. I took a deep breath and opened the envelope.
I pulled out a letter and a beautiful green necklace. I handed the necklace to Kami, letting her hold on to it while I prepared myself for some waterworks. I unfolded the letter and from the very first word I felt my grandpa’s love in every line.
My Dearest AJ,
If you’re reading this, then I’m gone. I know you’ve probably seen the birthday video and learned about my secret. If not, you need to. Your mom will know the one. Anyway, on to the important stuff! You’re 22 today sweetheart and I wish I was there to see how beautiful you look. The necklace that I included with this letter belonged to your grandma Lexie. I wish she could have lived to meet you, because you remind me a lot of her. She was just as timid and just as kind. You have her eyes as well. She would have loved every inch of you. She would have spoiled you rotten, even more than I did, if that were possible. Anyway, I’m rambling. I know you probably miss me like crazy and wish I was there. I miss you too AJ, but where I’m going I’m not going to hurt anymore, and I’ll be able to watch out for you up there. Oh, and before I forget, I want you to do something for me. Don’t count Carson out just yet. That boy has loved you since you two met, and I know you love him too. Yours was a match made in the stars, even if sometimes it seems like it wasn’t. I would know about star matches, because honey, that’s how it was with me and Grandma Lexie. We were best friends for the longest time, both too afraid to say anything for fear of the other not feeling the same way. Eventually one of you needs to be brave and break the silence, because honey, you’re much better off with him than you are without him. Live your life to the fullest, don’t hold back, and go after what makes you happy. I guess that’s all I have to say. I love you AJ, happy birthday.
----Grandpa----
I didn’t even realize I had read the letter out loud until I looked up and saw Kami crying. I felt tears hitting my bare legs and realized I was crying too. I put the letter down and took the necklace from her. I looked at it and cried harder. This necklace meant more to me than just about anything in my life.
Grandma Lexie had always been a legendary figure in this house. She had died a few years before I was born and I had grown up hearing stories about her. I had never thought we were anything alike, in fact I had always aspired to be more like her. From what I’d always heard Grandpa had always known her better than anyone else, so if he says I was like her, then it must be true.
I put Grandma’s necklace on and got up to look in the mirror. I remembered an old picture of Grandma Lexie that I had seen. She was around my age and she was wearing this necklace. My mom had told me that she had gotten the necklace from Grandpa for their one year anniversary as a couple, that same night she also got an engagement ring.
I walked downstairs and went straight to my mom. Her eyes went wide and she started crying. She put a hand to my face and just looked at me. I know she was seeing her mother in me, and it had to be really hard for her, because she had loved her parents the way that I love her and my dad.
“You look just like Grandma Lexie. I always wondered what happened to that necklace. I looked for it when she died because I wanted a piece of her to keep with me. I can’t believe dad kept it hidden away for you.”
“Really? I know I have her eyes, and now her necklace, but I didn’t think I looked
that much like her. Grandpa said that I am a lot like her,” I said quietly.
“He was right. You are the spitting image of your grandma. She was a lot like you. She was timid, yet she had this inner strength that intimidated almost everyone,” my mom said as she wiped at her eyes.
My mom wrapped her arms around me and squeezed me. We stayed like that for a few minutes. Neither of us willing to let go of the moment we were sharing.
“Did I ever tell you the story of that necklace,” my mom said when we finally pulled apart.
“Yep! She got it from Grandpa on their one year anniversary, right before he proposed to her.”
“Yeah, but there’s a part of the story that you don’t know. I never told you this, but it was also the night that my mama told him she was pregnant with Aunt Lucy. They got married a couple months later before mama started to show too much.”
Aunt Lucy is the oldest of my mom’s siblings. First was my Aunt Lucy, then Aunt Marie and Aunt Kate, then Uncle David, and finally my mom. I smiled and thought about how my grandpa must have reacted. Knowing my grandpa, he probably freaked out before being ecstatic.
Catching His Heart (Love And Baseball Book 1) Page 14
