Josué's life for the person Esther might be if he hadn't destroyed her.
The River Reapers veer onto the exit ramp, a short stretch that merges onto South Main Street with a yield sign. Ravage bangs a left, back toward Naugatuck. I'm not familiar enough with Waterbury to know where the hell he's going, but I follow him anyway.
Cliff pulls up even with me, more a faithful old Saint Bernard than a Red Dog. I can't begin to wrap my head around him, his feelings. It's all too big, too much. With Cliff, I feel safe, but that can't be the only reason I'm with him. His love is not enough for this to work.
The American Motor Lodge sign looms above the road. We turn right into the small parking lot, the only real lights from our headlights. I can't explain it, but the whole place just feels seedy, like a whole slew of bad things have happened here. I shudder.
Esther climbs down gingerly, her lips pressed together. Donny reaches for her, drawing her in for a hug. Their lips touch for a fraction of a second. I look away, but Cliff is right there, in my line of vision where the pavement or something—anything else—should be.
"Where are you going?" I call out to her, avoiding his eyes.
Her olive skin pales to almost my shade. She swallows. "Going inside to get a room key." She lifts a shoulder. "I look just like my mom."
"I'll go with you." I start the lengthy process of shutting the bike off. I'm still not used to it. Switches and kickstands and keys, oh my. I don't know how Cliff already has it down.
"No," Donny commands. "If they see her, they'll think nothing of it. If they see any of us, we'll lose them."
"That's if they're even here," Abraham mutters.
I shake my head. I can't let her go in there alone. I just can't. Donny's right, though. Right now we've got the element of surprise.
"Wait," Cliff says.
Everyone turns to look at him. I look at his front tire.
"If they see Esther by herself, they'll know she's here for the girls," he says. "If she's with Olivia, they can say they're getting a room because they had too much to drink at HoJo's."
I lift an eyebrow. "HoJo's?"
He chuckles, ducking his head. "Howard Johnson's, back in the day. This motel was a HoJo's, too." He glances over at the bar and restaurant's sign. "Guess it's The Brass House now."
Again I'm reminded of how much older he is. It's another reason why I've got to cut him loose. He deserves someone his age, someone ready to settle down. Have babies. That kind of thing. Things he deserves.
I finish shutting off the Street Glide and swing off. "Okay, then. Let's go." I link arms with Esther, putting on a braver face than how I feel. At least I've still got my gun. That's the only thing that's gotten me through this day: I have a gun, and no one can ever hurt me again.
Esther and I walk under the portico, the sickly yellow glow of a solitary light washing over us. The other light is out. A sticker on the door advertises jacuzzis in certain rooms, by request.
"Nasty," Esther mutters.
"You couldn't pay me," I agree.
The motel doesn't have sliding doors or even a bellhop. I pull the door open, motioning Esther inside, all the while sweeping everything in sight.
Maroon and gold carpeting swallows the lobby, making the space look like a bad acid trip. They should've hired Esther's abuela to decorate, because her place is cozy, coordinated. This place is a drab nightmare, made worse by the green armchairs.
I lead Esther to the front desk, and open my mouth, but she surprises me, speaking first.
"Hi," she says, her voice void of any fear. She sounds embarrassed. "I'm such a moron. I came down to pick up food from next door, but didn't bring my key. Can I have a replacement?"
The clerk—an older white man with liver spots and thin, greasy hair slicked back across his globe of a noggin—stares at her chest. "What's the room number?"
"Oh, God." Esther looks at me. "I don't remember. Do you?"
She's not the best liar, but at least she's smooth. "Hey," I say, playing along. "Don't look at me. It's your room."
"It's actually my husband's." She winks at the clerk. "He's going to be back in a while, and we wanted to surprise him."
The girl learns fast.
"He got a name?" the clerk asks, checking out my rack now.
"Josué Figueroa."
"Spell it?"
With a pleasant smile, she spells it out for him. Her arm tightens around mine.
"Room 1131," he says, activating a key. He holds it out to her. "You gonna take pictures?"
She leans in. "Video," she says with a wink.
He drops the key into her hand. "Any chance you feel like file sharing?"
"Sure," I purr. I tug Esther away, toward the entrance. When we get to the door, I pause.
"We're getting the guys . . . right?" she asks me in a whisper.
I glance at another door, the one that exits to the rooms out back. "Why did Donny bring you?"
She blinks. "To get the girls."
I meet her eyes. "Do you want to be a nanny, or do you want to make that motherfucker pay?"
"I just want to get the girls, Olivia." She puts a palm on the glass of the door. She doesn't push it open.
"It's up to you," I promise. "I'll back you up, whatever you decide. But right now, you and I have this key, and we're already here." I drop my voice. "I have a gun."
"Jesus," she hisses, glancing at the front desk. I look, too. The clerk is gone, probably jacking off in a bathroom somewhere.
Esther pulls her hand back from the door. She taps the key card against her chin. "We are already here . . ."
"I don't want to pressure you into doing anything you don't want to do," I tell her, "but I hate those movies where some devastatingly handsome guy kills the baddie who's been torturing the lead actress. It should be her doing the slaying."
She sucks her teeth. "I don't know, Olivia. I don't want the girls seeing anything like that. I mean, I want to see it, but they're still so young. Maybe it's too late for Cierra, but Abril and Ximena still have a chance."
"It's not too late for Cierra. It isn't too late for you, either." I back toward the other door. "You know my sister, Lucy? Her uncle did to her what your father did to you and your sisters. Sometimes it gets the best of her, but she's doing great, Esther. She's a teacher, and . . ." My voice trails off. She dumped a guy who wanted to marry her. Kind of like how I'm unloading a guy who loves me. I bite my lip.
"You know," she says, taking a step toward the other door. "I'm more angry with my mother. She let him do this. She kept going back to him. Over and over. Who the fuck does that? At least your mom kept you away from her toxic boyfriends."
"Well, she mostly stayed away from me in general, but I see your point." I sigh. "If Josué is here, Toci is with him. Let's get your sisters and take out some trash."
"Ay, I need a drink," Esther mutters. She shakes out her arms. "Okay. Let's go."
We sprint toward the stairs, the gun hot against my back.
37
Cliff
Donny, Beer Can, Abraham, and I wait near our lined up bikes, Donny's eyes firmly pinned on the motel entrance. I flick ash from my cigarette onto the pavement, watching the door, too.
"How long does it take to grab a key?" Beer Can crosses his arms.
"Think they called the cops?" Abraham asks.
I scoff. "Cops? This place? Most of their income is from prostitutes renting rooms."
"Then what's taking so long?" Donny inches toward the door. "It's been at least ten minutes."
"More like fifteen." My eyes meet his.
"You don't think . . . ?" He shoots another glance at the door.
"Olivia, maybe," Beer Can concedes. "Esther, though?"
Donny and I stare at each other for a long beat. He sucks in a deep breath. "I'm giving them two more minutes, and then we're checking it out."
I spot movement out of the corner of my eye. Three small figures file from the back of the building. "Over there." I nod
toward them.
The smallest lags behind the others, carrying a bundle in both arms.
"Hurry up, Jimmy," the tallest of them whispers.
"Oh, shit," Donny mutters.
The three girls draw closer, their steps slower as they approach.
"It's okay," Donny calls to them. "Come on."
Esther's little sisters crowd around us. In the dim light, I make out a swaddled baby doll in the little one's arms.
Donny kneels in front of them. "Everyone okay?"
The oldest nods. "They bought Jimmy a doll."
"Probably to keep her distracted," the middle one adds.
"Nothing happened, though," the oldest says. "Essie and her friend got us out."
"With Olivia's gun," the little one breathes, her eyes round and awed.
Donny's eyes snap to mine. In a flash, we sprint toward the back of the building.
"Watch them," he yells to the guys, drawing his gun.
"I'm with you," Abraham calls, his footsteps pounding as he catches up.
From behind us, I hear one of the girls ask Beer Can if he's from Harry Potter.
Donny races toward the line of doors. Yanking my own gun out of its holster, I close in on him, pushing my legs to move faster. He lurches through an open door. I skid to a halt behind him, nearly pushing him inside.
From the doorway, I see her. She stands, two hands on her gun, its muzzle pointed at Josué. He sits in an ugly green armchair, his hands resting on its arms. Toci sobs in a heap on the bed, her hair wrapped around Esther's hand. Esther yanks harder.
Donny's eyebrows almost touch his hairline.
I'm not surprised. I know what strength can come from the fires of human hell, the pain of the evil that people inflict on each other. Those flames flicker in Esther's eyes, tears pooling on her lashes. One blink, one breath, and it'll all break loose.
"Josué," Olivia says, the name oily venom dripping from her lips. "You were supposed to be a father. You were supposed to protect your daughters."
Esther scoffs. "You were supposed to protect us," she tells her mother. She twists her wrist, pulling Toci's hair so hard, I can see the red scalp from across the room.
"I wish I had time to make you feel everything you did to them," Olivia continues.
"I didn't touch them!" Josué yells, spit flying from his lips.
"Tonight," Esther says, her voice so cold, chills race up and down my spine.
If I'd had the time twenty years ago, I would've taken my time with Bastard. I would've killed him slowly, draining his life the way he sucked out Lucy's—over many months. In the moment, I didn't think of how to make him suffer. All I saw was my little cousin. All I wanted was to make it stop.
"We can't do it here," Donny says.
Esther jumps, but Olivia doesn't even flinch. "Why not?" she asks.
"Too many witnesses." He holsters his gun, switching it for his phone.
"We should close the door," I suggest, moving into the room.
Olivia glances at me. For a moment, relief flickers through her eyes. A second later, something dark rolls through them, stifling the light.
I know that switch, that moment when the monster fully takes hold. It doesn't matter what your intentions are; the beast is a berserker, taking control of limbs until its revenge is sated.
She pins her gaze back on Josué.
Donny steps inside, too, and I shut the door behind us. The six of us stand there, none of us moving. Donny presses his phone to his ear.
"Who are you calling?" Olivia snaps.
"Pres," he drawls. "Gonna find out how he wants us to handle this."
"What he wants?" Olivia sneers. "What about what Esther wants?"
"The club took this on. It's our call," Donny says.
"Fuck the club!" Olivia squeezes the grip of her gun, knuckles white. "Why is it always all about what you want? It's always the men deciding." She shakes her head. "What do you want to do, Esther?"
Donny casts me a helpless glance. I shrug. Olivia is right.
But so is he.
"We can't just off them both in a motel room," I say. "We need to be smart about this."
Olivia's shoulders tighten.
"You don't want to go to prison." I take a step toward her. "Let Donny talk to Ravage. Let us figure out a plan."
She shakes her head. "See," she tells Josué, "to me, you're not just Esther's father. You're every man who thinks he has the right to do whatever he wants with a woman's body. I don't need a plan because it's pretty simple—to me, anyway."
"I'm with you, Olivia." I take another step. "I went about it wrong, but I'm with you—whatever you want to do. Let's just take a second."
"I don't need a second," Esther says. "I just need this to be over. I want my sisters safe. I don't want to look over my shoulder, wondering if he's coming back for us, praying she isn't playing the system." She shoves Toci forward. Pivoting on the balls of her feet, Esther lunges for Donny's gun. Her fingers close around the grip and pull it free from its holster. She presses the barrel against Toci's head.
"Wait!" I shout. In two strides, I close the distance between the bed and me. I grab a throw pillow and hold it out to Esther. "It's not a silencer, but it's better than nothing."
Olivia lifts her head, her eyes meeting mine. She nods, once. I toss a pillow to her, too.
With a sigh, Donny pockets his phone. He peers through the peephole. "We're good." Turning back around, he leans against the door, crossing his arms.
"No one is going to miss you," Olivia tells Josué.
Esther prays in Spanish, the words all running together. "Count of three?"
"Your count," Olivia agrees.
"Three." Esther's nostrils flare. "Two."
The digital alarm clock on the nightstand blinks, the time changing from 10:22 to 10:23.
Esther takes a deep breath. "One."
Olivia and Esther squeeze their triggers at the same time. The pillows only marginally muffle the bang of the shots. Josué slumps forward in the armchair. Toci crumples in a heap on the bed.
Olivia holsters her gun. Esther hands Donny his.
I pick up my phone and call Ravage.
38
Olivia
"Thank you." Esther wraps her arms around me. Her heart thumps wildly against her chest, reverberating into mine.
I hug her back, feel her whole body loosen. "Any time."
"Yeah . . . let's not make this a regular thing, a'ight?" Donny chides.
Esther releases me and steps back, surveying the room, the two bodies. "I should feel sad, shouldn't I?"
Behind me, the men huddle up. They decide Beer Can should stay in the room with the bodies until Ravage and Mark get here, and Donny walks back outside with Cliff. I feel more than see him leave the room, his warmth and energy vanishing with him.
I sigh. "What do you feel?" I ask Esther.
"Relieved," she says right away. "Isn't that crazy? I should be freaking out. I just killed my own mother."
"I get it. Now you don't have to look over your shoulder anymore." I glance behind me. Beer Can stands next to the door, his face passive. He might be listening, or he might be running Depeche Mode lyrics through his head.
"I don't even care if I go to jail," she adds. "At least I'll know they're safe. Abuela can take care of them."
"You're not going to jail." I bite my lip, considering how much I should tell her. I glance at Beer Can again.
"Esther," he asks, his eyes meeting mine, "does Donny ever tell you anything about the club?"
"I told him I don't wanna know. That was before." She arches an eyebrow. "I guess it doesn't matter now."
Beer Can steps forward and lays a warm hand on my shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Your call," he says. "I'm gonna step outside." He pulls a marijuana vape pen from the inside of his cut, then strolls out.
The ugly green armchair suddenly looks inviting. If I sit down in it, I might fall asleep. "You're not going to prison," I repeat.
She shrugs. "I guess time will tell."
"I'm telling you. We've done this before. I've done this before."
"What, kill someone's father?"
"We're kind of in the business of killing scumbag fathers," I say. "Scumbags in general, really."
Her eyebrows pinch together.
"Last semester, when someone slashed your tires and keyed your car? That was this guy from my photography class. He's the one who hurt Dio. He came back," I tell her. I'm not in the brightly lit hotel room anymore. I'm in our apartment, hiding in the shadows, the gun in my hand. "I had to shoot him."
She gapes at me. "In our apartment?"
I nod. "I called Cliff. I didn't know what else to do. The gun isn't registered—I got it from Donny."
"Why am I not surprised?" she mutters. Her gaze floats back to her mother's form.
"Cliff, Donny, and Beer Can cleaned up. They got rid of the body—Eli. That was his name. They did a good job. No one's ever going to find him." I think of the Silver Alert, of the anonymous somebody looking for him. "No one's going to find your parents. I'm gonna have to call this in to Glace, though." I bite my lip again. "I have to talk to the guys, figure out what our story's gonna be."
"Maybe I should've had Abuela call the cops."
"I think I've got that covered," I say. "Come on." I pull open the door and slip out past Beer Can, who gives us both a nod as we pass. Esther and I make our way around the building. The silence is stifling, given how busy South Main Street usually is. There aren't even any drag racers tonight.
I spot the cluster of bikes and men, Cliff standing out. I could pick him out of a crowd. I'm magnetically drawn to him. He holds a sleeping Ximena in his arms, and the sight of it sends my heart reeling. Her head rests on his shoulder, her small thumb tucked into the corner of her mouth.
"Que lindo," Esther croons. "He's a keeper."
I give her a sidelong look. "Don't."
"What?" She spreads her hands. "I'm not saying marry the guy and pop out babies. I'm just saying, he's one of the good ones."
"One of the few," I mutter.
A Risky Prospect (River Reapers Motorcycle Club Book 2) Page 17
