The only thing I’d picked out was the sign above the door. And I hadn’t really picked it out, I’d asked Mick to make it for me just like the one he’d made for Roasters.
Carved and stained wood above the doorframe read:
Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.
Above the words, a small clear-resin circle held my sobriety chip. The first one. The first one Larry gave me. Because as important as it is to know where you’re going, you can’t forget where you came from – you can’t forget the first step in a new direction.
“Go get your girl,” Zach said, nodding to where Taylor had just said goodbye to the last family as they left.
I palmed the box that I’d snuck into my back pocket a few minutes ago from where I’d stashed it in the kitchen. Asking Miles to make the sign had also been my excuse to go into town and visit the jeweler. I picked both things up yesterday morning after making sure my girl was thoroughly exhausted.
“Come with me,” I whispered into her ear.
The love that shone in her eyes when she looked at me was clearer and purer than the goddamn diamond I was about to give her.
“Where are we going?” she asked with a smile as I led her through the chairs and out onto the deck, twinkling with the lights that she’d suggested.
I pulled her right to the edge of the wood before I turned and kissed her, threading my fingers into her hair. She sagged into me and I gave myself a few seconds to treat myself to the delicious warmth of her mouth. With the rush all day, I hadn’t been able to hold her hand since we opened, let alone kiss her and thank her.
“Thank you,” I murmured against her soft lips. “You were incredible today. So fucking incredible. I just—fuck.”
I kissed her again because I was so damn drained I couldn’t even thank her properly.
“Are you okay?” She pulled back and asked breathlessly, her lips slightly swollen and her cheeks tinted pink.
“I’m more than okay, gorgeous,” I answered, dropping my forehead to hers.
“You sure? Everything was amazing today, Ash. Really…” she gushed, and I just soaked up her love. “Everyone loved it - the place, the food, everything… Larry would be so proud.”
My eyes squeezed shut.
She always knew just what to fucking say to calm my heart.
“You know,” I started with a laugh. “He gave me hell about you the night we were at his house. He demanded to know what you were to me. Just like this place. Always with the name.”
She stared up at me. “What did you say?”
“I told him you were my redemption. My everything,” I rasped, gliding my hands down her arms to grasp her hands as I stepped back.
Of all the lives we could’ve led, all the choices we could’ve made, and all the people that surrounded us, she’d found me in what I’d thought was her moment of weakness, when it turned out to be mine.
“Taylor, it took me forever to figure out what the name for this place needed to be…. But you, it only took me a second to realize that the only name I ever wanted to give you was mine,” I swore to her.
“Ash…” Her breath caught as her eyes widened, wonder and love glittering like stars in her eyes.
My lips worked their way into a nervous, crooked smile as I dropped down on one knee, reaching in my pocket for the ring box.
“I’m not perfect, sweetheart. You know I’m not. But I love you - and I’m gonna love you - with everything I got, forever. So, Taylor Hastings, will you take my name?” I popped open the box, revealing the simple round-cut diamond that sat in the center, about the same time as she covered her mouth with her hands. “Will you marry me?”
It was a clear night, so the stars littered the sky like discarded diamonds and the moon shone like a spotlight in the dark. Both shimmered off the giant moving mirror that ebbed below the cliff.
It was breathtaking.
It didn’t hold a candle to her though - the stars in her eyes or the glow on her face, especially when her head began to frantically shake yes.
“Y-yes,” she stammered, letting me take one of her hands so I could slide the ring up her finger, trying my best to hold myself together. “Yes, a million times, yes.”
She didn’t even look at the ring before she was pulling my face up to hers, her lips tasting salty and sweet against mine as I wrapped her in my arms.
Muted cheers and shouts erupted from inside the restaurant where my family and our friends had been watching from the windows.
I chuckled when she pulled back and couldn’t decide whether she wanted to smile and laugh or smile and cry.
“I love you so much, Taylor.”
“I love you, too.”
This time, when I kissed her, I felt the soft press of her stomach against mine as our baby girl kicked her approval between us.
Epilogue
Ash
Three months later…
“She’s perfect,” I murmured, lying in the hospital bed next to Tay.
We were both staring at the softly breathing baby girl nestled in her arms.
Taylor had been amazing – a warrior really, seeing what she’d gone through to bring our daughter into the world; I was so damn enraptured by the both of them.
And so fucking in love.
“Baby Grace,” she cooed softly before angling toward me for a kiss.
Grace Laurelin Tyler.
We’d toyed with a lot of names over the last few weeks – though none of them Ragnar, unfortunately. Many variations with ties to Larry or Lawrence.
But one Sunday night, after we’d finished cleaning up from the Lookout’s sold-out spaghetti and meatball dinner, Taylor had looked at me and said Grace.
And I couldn’t think of a more fitting name for our daughter and the gift she’d given us.
“You ready to go home?”
“More than ready,” she confessed with a laugh. “And definitely excited for more of your home-cooked meals.”
I chuckled, kissing her head as I slid from the bed.
I’d been smuggling in some of my food for the last two days; hospital food was everything it was cracked up to be.
“Alright, let’s get my girls out of here. I think there are some people waiting to see you both.”
When we got back to the house, a much different structure after Mick and Miles had completed the additions, we walked into a room full of people – a room full of love.
Almost immediately, I lost track of my fiancée and daughter in the swarm of women who rushed to greet her. Eve, Josie, Laurel, and Jules. The women from Blooms. Meanwhile, Eli clapped me on the back with a grin, his eyes on our women as they embraced.
“Congrats, man,” he said.
I thanked my friend, no longer seeing any trace of the hollowness in his eyes or the heaviness of his heart.
“You’ll be next,” I tacked on with a nudge.
“I hope so.” He laughed and then reached out to slap Miles on the back. “But I have a feeling this guy might be first.”
Miles glared at him. “Hell no.”
Even though it was mostly said in jest, there was a thread of steel-like sincerity laced in the words. I’d only gotten pieces of the story that brought the Madison brothers up here from Texas, and I’d seen first-hand how Miles avoided anything that wasn’t temporary. But, when I looked at Taylor, I knew that anything was possible and that there were some things stronger than hurt or fear.
It was a solid hour before everyone finally filtered out of the house and Tay and I were alone with our newest addition once more.
“Can we go for a walk?” she turned to me and asked. Behind her, I could see the sun setting through the windows and the warm rainbow it cast on the horizon.
“Anything for you.”
We made our way to the back deck of the Lookout, Grace in one arm and Tay underneath my other, and we stood on the edge of the world.
With my whole world in my arms.
“Do you ever think how i
ncredible things have worked out?” she murmured against my chest.
“I do.” I nodded. “And I thank God for it every day.”
Her head tilted up to mine.
“Sometimes, I just can’t help but think of what would’ve happened if things hadn’t… gone the way they did,” she mused.
“I don’t think there was any other way, Pixie,” I told her softly, losing myself in the warm green of her eyes. “It was always you for me.”
She smiled as I touched my lips to hers.
There was no other way for our story to happen.
Because in the end,
Love Wins.
Don’t go yet…
The first book in my Carmel Cove series, BEHOLDEN, is available now! If you loved Ash and Taylor’s story, stay in Carmel a little longer and enjoy Laurel and Eli’s sexy and emotional romance!
START BEHOLDEN HERE.
Want to read Ash’s sister’s story? Blake and Zach heat up the pages in REPUTATION, a hot, brother-best-friend/pop star romance!
START REPUTATION HERE.
Author’s Note
Dear Reader,
Welcome to Carmel Cove.
Open-heartedness. Charity. Perseverance. The foundations of this Pacific-coast town.
I hope you’ve enjoyed Ash and Taylor’s story. I wanted to take a moment to talk about how special this book is to me and where it’s brought us.
I hadn’t planned on writing Ash’s story, but when it came to me, it came in full force. And I knew from the very start it had to take place somewhere else – a haven. A place where the broken come to heal amongst family and friends (and friends who become family.) A place to find strength and (of course) find love.
Carmel Cove became that place – not just for the characters but for me.
Carmel Cove is inspired by a variety of real-life places. Most of its location comes from the town, Carmel-by-the-Sea, along Big Sur in California. But the feel and the people there were inspired by my Italian-immigrant hometown, Roseto, in Northeast Pennsylvania.
However, this story – and my story - wouldn’t be what it is without one man: Larry Ocean.
Larry is my grandfather.
Though he never owned a coffee shop, from his love of chocolate to his gruff, no-nonsense personality, to his military service and his (and my grandmother’s) magical spaghetti and meatballs, and to the way he looked out for everyone he came in contact with… his character is anything but fictional.
My grandfather, Larry, committed suicide in 2011.
I was in dental school, coming home from the grocery store with some friends, I walked inside my house and my husband (then-boyfriend) handed me his phone; it was my dad on the line.
My grandfather had shot himself in the garage of his own home.
He’d been given a prescription for anti-depressants however, he’d stopped taking them.
And all it took was one bad day… one weak moment… and he was gone.
There was no warning. There was no reason. All things you may have thought while reading this story – there was no reason for him to die. There was no indication.
You’re right. There wasn’t.
Because in real life, there was no author to leave me hints. There was no one behind the scenes to hold my hand and prepare my heart for the blow it took that day. Real life doesn’t leave kind clues before breaking your world.
The most real loss comes with no preparation. It rips your heart from your chest and screams in your face ‘Do you still want this? Do you still want this beating, bleeding thing? Because this is the cost. This is the price of love.’
And you want to say no because it hurts so much. But you can’t… because you can’t live without it.
And when it’s all said and done, you’re left with so much love for someone you can’t give it to – so much love that has nowhere to go.
So that is how I wrote it – why I wrote it – because it’s how I lived it. My love for him is still searching for places to go, and it found somewhere in this story.
My grandfather was from a different generation. Tough to the very last nail. Stubborn. Able to take on the world… until he couldn’t.
Mental illness… Suicide… Depression… All big topics anymore and yet so many of those afflicted suffer in silence, determined to be strong for everyone around them. Not wanting to burden those around them – like Larry.
And, very simply, I wrote him… I wrote this book… because I missed him.
Because I still miss him.
Because he was never a burden to anyone.
And because there is still love to be found in even the greatest of losses.
So, I brought his memory to this story for myself. For these characters. And for you. Because at some point or another, we’ve all lost someone who looked out for us – who took us in at the very worst of our mistakes, extended a hand to help us up instead of beating us down, and let us lean on them until we found the strength to stand on our own once more.
And sometimes, it’s good to remember good people.
So, here’s to good people. #herestolarry
And I’m not ready to stop writing about them yet…
Redemption is the precursor – the prologue, if you will, to my Carmel Cove series. Similar to Redemption, the interconnected standalones in this series will be high on emotion and heavy on the heartstrings – the epitome of small-town romance complete with a dash of suspense.
I hope you’ve enjoyed your first trip to this healing and heartwarming Pacific hometown, and that you’ll return for Laurel and Eli’s hard-won happily-ever-after in BEHOLDEN, arriving May 2020.
You can pre-order your copy here.
To read the prologue, click here.
And remember, as Larry would say…
Start where you are.
Use what you have.
Do what you can.
With love,
Rebecca
If you are suffering from depression or thoughts of suicide, please know you are not alone. Please know there is someone waiting to help you, and that there are people in this world who need you.
There is always someone available to talk at the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
And my door is always open.
You can email me at [email protected].
Acknowledgments
To my husband – You are forever and always my lobster. I love you.
To my family and friends – I’m so blessed to have all of you in my life.
To BJ – Thank you for always being the best sounding board and friend!
To Jen – Thank you for reading all the various endings I wrote for this book until I could finally sleep at night knowing I got it right. You are such a positive force and a cheerleader that I can’t help but believe in myself because you do!
To Najla – Thank you for always thinking outside the box. I was unsure where to go with this cover and you created something so jaw-dropping, I couldn’t imagine Ash’s book looking any other way.
To Ellie – Thank you for all your hard work as always!
To Stacey – Thank you for creating magic between the covers. You’re a wizard!
To all the bloggers who work enthusiastically to help me spread the word about each and every one of my stories. You are amazing. None of this would be possible, be imagined, or be happening without you. None of it…
To my Sharpies – Thank you for being such a supportive place. This book was a big step for me, and I wouldn’t have been able to take it without you.
And, as always, to all my readers:
Thank you for asking for Ash’s story. I didn’t know if I had it in me. But you did. And now, I know I needed to write this for so many reasons. Thank you.
Other Works by Dr. Rebecca Sharp
Standalones
Reputation
Redemption
Revolution: A Driven World Novel
Carmel Cove Series
B
eholden
Bespoken
Besotted
Befallen
Beloved
The Odyssey Duet
The Fall of Troy
The Judgment of Paris
Country Love Collection
Tequila
Ready to Run
Fastest Girl in Town
Last Name
I’ll Be Your Santa Tonight
Winter Games Series
Up in the Air
On the Edge
Enjoy the Ride
In Too Deep
Over the Top
Gentlemen’s Guild Series
The Artist’s Touch
The Sculptor’s Seduction
The Painter’s Passion
Passion & Perseverance Trilogy
(A Pride and Prejudice Retelling)
First Impressions
Second Chances
Third Time is the Charm
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Sweet Talk
Copyright ©S. L. Scott 2016
The right of S.L. Scott to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by her under the Copyright Amendment (Moral Rights) Act 2000
This work is copyright. Apart from any use as permitted under the Copyright Act 1968, no part may be reproduced, copied, scanned, stored in a retrieval system, recorded or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either a product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual people living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
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