by Emma Hornby
She smiled guiltily. ‘Hello, lass. We were just … I went to ask Bridget – you remember Bridget? – to the wedding. It slipped my mind when she was here last week, what with her injury, an’ all. I met Daniel on the walk back.’
Glancing to the man himself then back to her, Lizzie’s face relaxed, the mild hurt at seeing them together leaving her eyes. She flashed a smile of her own. ‘Will she come, your friend?’
‘Aye.’
‘That’s good. Eeh, not long, now! You must be a bundle of nerves – I know I would be!’ Once more, her gaze flicked to Daniel then away again quickly. ‘I’ll be making a start on your bride’s cake soon, Laura. I hope you like it.’
‘I’m sure I will— Oh! I’ve been meaning to talk with thee,’ she added on a rush, suddenly remembering the idea that had struck her at the market. ‘Eeh, lass, we could make a success of it, I just know it!’
‘What’s this?’ asked Nathan, emerging from home and catching the tail end of the conversation. Reaching them, he kissed Laura’s cheek in greeting. ‘A success of what?’
‘A market stall.’ Laura nodded eagerly. ‘I reckon me and Lizzie could run our own, selling cakes. I sampled one yesterday whilst I was there and, oh, it were just terrible. We could do better than that with our eyes closed. We’d make a killing! ’Course, we’d need to plan, figure out how much brass we’d need to set up, that sort of thing, but …’ Grinning, her eyes sparkled. ‘I really reckon we could do this.’ She raised her brows expectantly. ‘What d’you say, lass?’
‘Us? Our own business?’ The stunned girl looked terrified.
‘But … You were all for it, not long since.’
‘I thought it just talk when you mentioned the idea afore. Oh, Laura. Oh, I don’t know …’
‘Why not? People aplenty do it; why not me and thee?’
Before Lizzie could stutter a response, Nathan spoke: ‘And what of the round?’
‘Well, I … Now you’ve learned the ropes and Kenneth’s taken to thee …’
‘I thought tha enjoyed us working together?’
‘Well, I do, ’course I do—’
‘There you are, then. You’d not have time to deliver coal and flog cakes, would yer?’
Her enthusiasm melted. Blinking back her dismay, she looked away. ‘I suppose not.’
‘Nathan’s right, Laura. We couldn’t compete with others in the trade. Then, as tha said, there’s the money involved. It were a nice idea, but well … It’s best to know our place, eh? Dreams ain’t meant for folk like us.’
‘Folk like …?’ Her shoulders slumped in crushing disappointment. Lizzie had no belief in herself. Nathan had no belief in his future wife. The pair hadn’t an ounce of ambition or adventure between them. Her voice was flat. ‘Aye. Youse are right. It’s nobbut daft talk. Forget I mentioned it.’
Daniel had remained silent throughout the discourse. Now, when Laura escaped to Mrs Price’s, he followed. He stopped her with a hand on her shoulder as she made to enter the kitchen. ‘Wait.’
Alone with him in the minuscule hall, she avoided his eye as she struggled to hold back her tears. ‘Can this wait till later? I’m tired and—’
‘Don’t you dare let them – let anyone – trample on your aspirations. They know nowt. Me, I have faith in thee.’
The lump in her throat was the size of a tomato. ‘You do?’
‘Carpe diem.’
She frowned at his usage of the Latin phrase.
‘It means seize the day.’
‘I know what it means. But lad, it’s hopeless.’
‘Let me help. I’ve a bit of brass put by, will loan you what you need.’
Laura was aghast. ‘I couldn’t let thee do that! Anyroad, there’s no point, you heard the lass—’
‘I’ll talk Lizzie round.’
‘Charm her into agreeing, you mean?’ The words were out before Laura could stop them. She wouldn’t see the girl manipulated. ‘Lizzie’s in love with thee, you know.’
He looked away. ‘Aye, well. I’m sorry for her for that. I ain’t never encouraged it.’
‘And your brother? You’ll sweet talk him into agreeing, an’ all, will you?’ Shaking her head dully, she sighed. ‘Thanks, but let’s just forget it, eh? They’re right. It were a fantasy.’
‘Laura—’
‘Daniel, just please go.’
He hesitated then turned and left the house. She closed the door quietly and made straight for her room, desperate to be alone.
In the distance, the future tapered like a cloying, stifling, yawning void over which she’d very shortly have no control. A feeling of drowning was upon her and she was powerless to shake it.
CHAPTER 16
WHILST THE MAJORITY of Manchester gathered around their tables for Christmas dinner, Laura was putting her mark to paper. It was legally binding, done. She was officially Mrs Clough. She’d fulfilled her father’s wish and, for that, she was happy.
Her neighbours had brought a tear to her eye upon her entering the church. Aware she hadn’t a soul in the world besides her uncle – and the least said about him, the better – they had planned between them on the journey there to split themselves between the couple. And so, expecting the bride’s pews to be holding only the figures of Widow Jessop and Bridget Figg, Laura had been surprised and touched to see seated there also the two Johns, Mr and Mrs Anderson, and Mrs Price and Lizzie. Bee O’Brien and the rest of her brood, along with Joyce and Daniel, had taken their places on the groom’s side.
The ceremony had gone without a hitch and Ambrose had kept his distance. Even the weather had held out. The day couldn’t have run any smoother if it had tried. So why did Laura feel so oddly numb and detached from it all? Even she hadn’t the answer.
Now, as she and her husband made their way homewards on the horse and cart, the guests following on foot – bar Bridget, who had had to return home to work – she glanced behind and her gaze locked with Daniel’s. His eyes creased ever so slightly in a smile and she acknowledged it with the briefest of nods. Then she straightened back around to continue for Ebenezer Court and to begin married life with Nathan.
The wedding tea was roast chicken and all the trimmings at Joyce’s house. On a variety of chairs and stools, the group squeezed around the two tables – Bee had loaned hers, along with her best cloth, to make room for them all – and there was barely space to swing a mouse in the stuffy kitchen.
A small barrel of ale had been acquired, and this the men made a beeline for whilst the women dished out potatoes and vegetables. The children, meanwhile, looked longingly at the far corner, where stood Lizzie’s promised creation: a traditional bride’s cake with dark fruit filling, decorated on top with white heather, which fittingly symbolised luck and protection. Though Laura appreciated this thoughtfulness behind the blooms’ gesture, she couldn’t stem the pang of regret over their market stall that would never be, and that such confectionary talent was going to waste.
‘To the bride and groom,’ announced Joyce, lifting her mug, voice cracking. ‘I wish youse nowt but health and happiness.’
‘Hear hear!’ chorused the rest.
‘Eeh, my own youngest lad wed. I’m fair overcome.’ Joyce shot him an affectionate look, bestowed the same on Laura, then turned her smile to Daniel. ‘And there’s praise owed to thee, lad,’ she told him, nodding. ‘Stepping up as tha did in place of poor departed Amos and offering to give the lass away.’
He flashed a small smile, whilst Laura turned her attention to her meal. The stab of something she couldn’t identify had returned and she breathed slowly.
She’d first felt it earlier when Daniel had indeed made the proposal. It had struck deeper into her guts, like the twisting of a hot blade, as she walked beside him down the aisle. And when he’d taken her hand and given it to Nathan, voluntarily passing her over to another man, she’d wanted to double forward from the pain.
Of course, she wasn’t stupid. She knew precisely what affected her. His face
, which seemed to have become a fixture in her mind; her shameful yearnings for him these long weeks past; the kiss they had shared in the ginnel … She knew, all right. Admitting it, even to herself, was another matter. And completely and utterly pointless. The issue, she now realised, wasn’t that she’d become Mrs Clough. It was whom she’d agreed to make her thus that was the problem.
And yet … she was really very fond of Nathan, felt a sense of betrayal merely considering their union a mistake. So just what did she want? Did she know? And after today, did that even matter? Father had thought him a sound catch, and he’d always known best. He’d be bursting with quiet pride to see her now. God, how she missed him. That, she told herself determinedly, was good enough for her. She had a husband, a duty. Yes, she did. She’d do her utmost to uphold her vows to the letter and fulfil her wifely role. Nathan deserved no less than that.
‘Come on, then, youse two.’ Grinning, the two Johns held out their hands to Laura and Joyce for a dance. The meal finished, the tables had been cleared and dragged outside into the courtyard to make a space. ‘Give us a song, Bee!’
In an accent thick as soup, the rotund Irishwoman belted out an old number from her younger years in her much-missed Isle. Soon, most of the room had paired up – the children, in fits of laughter, waltzing together in dizzyingly fast circles; Mrs Price and Widow Jessop holding hands and swaying to the music; the young Anderson couple locked in each other’s arms, their eyes full of love for one another as they moved around the room. Then Nathan held out his hand to Bee’s teenage daughter Mary and swept her off to join the rest, and only Daniel and Lizzie remained.
Laura watched discreetly over her dance partner’s shoulder. Lizzie was shooting Daniel desperate furtive glances and, finally, he turned to her and said something. She nodded and her smile lit up her face. She put her hand in his outstretched palm and he placed his other arm around her waist, drawing her buxom body against his. Suddenly, he looked across the room to settle his gaze on Laura. She stared back. His expression was one of open loss, and she knew she wore it, too.
Her step faltered as if to go to him, but of course she didn’t. Then Bee started up a livelier song, John and Nathan swapped partners, and she found herself wrapped in her husband’s arms. Now, the crush of people obscured her view of Daniel and she turned her attention to the man who was holding her. He smiled down at her tenderly and something stirred in her breast, a warmness for him that both pleased and puzzled her in equal measures.
Just what did she want at all? Was it possible to love two people at once? She was beginning to believe so. The answer as to whether it was morally right, however, she was in no doubt: it certainly was not. Even more so given that the men were siblings. And Daniel felt the same for her; she knew this without question.
Two brothers loved her, and two brothers hated her.
What a dangerous mess. She shuddered to imagine how this tangled web could turn out.
Later, by some unspoken agreement, she and Nathan slipped out of the kitchen and walked the few yards across the court to their own home. The marital bed was already prepared. Without a word, they removed each other’s clothing and slipped between the fresh sheets and, by the glow of soft candlelight, they made love.
There was no awkwardness; the binding of their commitment came together with ease. Laura found it pleasurable, satisfying even, and as she lay in his arms afterwards she knew a sense of contentment.
‘I love thee,’ Nathan murmured on the cusp of sleep.
‘And I love thee,’ she responded, this time without attempting to question it.
Before sleep claimed her, too, Daniel’s face floated on the outskirts of her mind, as it always did, and her inner voice repeated the same declaration to him. And I love thee. Because she did. She did. And so long as neither man found out, was there really any harm in it?
‘That smells good.’
Placing Nathan’s breakfast of fried red herring in front of him, Laura stifled a yawn with the back of her hand then shot him a crooked smile when he grinned. ‘It’s not funny, lad. We’ve the round to see to the day.’
‘Aye, well. I were all for an early night last night so as to wake up bright and ready for the first day back at work. Only someone would insist on ravishing my body till the early hours.’ He winked when she swatted his arm with a click of her tongue. ‘By, but it were worth it.’
Her pretence at being offended melted and she chuckled. ‘What am I going to do with thee?’
‘I don’t know, but I’m looking forward to finding out,’ he growled, then ducked, laughing, when she raised her hand again. ‘Save it for later, though, eh? We’d best get going, else we’ll be late.’
They had barely surfaced from home in the two days they had been married – one another’s company had been enough. The sunlight hours were taken up with sorting through and rearranging their few possessions to make the house their own, eating meals together, talking about their pasts and making plans for their future. And at night, they would lie in each other’s arms in bed and take their time exploring each other, familiarising themselves with every inch of the other’s body, as was every husband and wife’s right. But real life had returned for them today – money must be earned if the necessities of life were to be had.
The sharp air felt good in Laura’s lungs, and as they passed through the frost-whitened streets, she drew in several deep breaths. However much she’d enjoyed time spent in their private cocoon, it was nice to get back into some order of routine and out of the court for a few hours to stretch her legs – clearly, Nathan was of the same mind.
He had an air of fulfilment about him and a lightness to his step that she’d never seen before. He was happy. That’s what it was. Despite any misgivings she might have had in the weeks leading up to the wedding, so was she. She actually was, and she was relieved.
‘Once we’d shut away the outside at the day’s end, it’d be just us together, and the misery beyond the front door couldn’t touch us,’ he’d said to her the night he proposed. It seemed it was proving correct.
No, this wasn’t a mistake, as she’d feared it might be. It felt right, and she was glad she’d listened to her father.
Kenneth swung his head up and down and pawed the ground in greeting. Mr Howarth had seen to his needs whilst they were off work, but it was clear he was happy to see them. Laura stroked his nose and Nathan patted his muscular back, his own face relaying his affection for his new partner. Then they were away on their round, the familiar smell of coal and horse in their nostrils, and it was like they had never been away. Snuggling in on the cart’s seat, both for warmth and the desire to feel closer, they shared a contented smile and set off through the busy streets.
There were only one or two sacks left to deliver, and Laura was looking forward to returning to the yard to gulp down a cup of hot tea whilst the cart was reloaded ready for the next round, when she saw them. For a long moment, her eyes refused to believe it and she could only gaze, suspended in a state of horror-filled awe, towards the public house in the distance. God Almighty. Please, no …
Feeling her grow rigid beside him, Nathan turned to look at her. ‘All right, lass?’ he asked lightly.
‘It’s them. It’s them.’
‘Who?’
She slithered down from the cart on legs that felt like melted wax, and Nathan followed. Lifting a hand, she pointed out the hellish duo who had hounded her, in every possible sense of the word, for months. ‘There. The Cannock brothers.’
Nathan’s narrowed stare scrutinised the surrounding people. Then his eyes settled on the two similar-looking men and his face hardened like a flint. ‘Oh, is it, now!’
‘Nay!’ She made a grab for his sleeve as he made to stride across. ‘You can’t—’
‘Watch me.’
‘Lad!’
‘After what they’ve put thee through? They murdered your father, for God’s sake!’
‘And they’ll kill thee, too, should you front th
em out. They’re the divil’s servants, capable of owt. I’ll not lose thee, an’ all. Lord, I should never have told thee!’ She leapt frantically back on to the cart. ‘Please, come away, come on, afore I’m spotted. I beg of thee.’
But Nathan didn’t follow her, didn’t take his place in the seat. Instead, he mouthed to her that he loved her. Then he brought his palm down on Kenneth’s rump with a resounding slap.
The horse reared with a sharp screech of confusion and fear, sending the few sacks hurtling over the back of the cart and coal raining across the flagstones, and set off at speed down the road.
With a cry of her own, Laura grappled for the reins and pulled with all her might: ‘Stop!’ But the horse was too lost in blinding panic and refused to obey and, like a helpless captive, she was hauled against her will from the scene and from Nathan.
She contemplated jumping from the cart, but one glance over the side at the whizzing cobbles and she quickly abandoned the idea. She’d break her skull for sure, then what use would she be to her husband? Why had he done it?
As she twisted in her seat for a look of him, she got her answer when he lifted an arm to her. He was waving goodbye. He’d spooked Kenneth with the intention of getting her out of harm’s way whilst he confronted the Cannock brothers. He had, it was true – he’d turned and was running towards the pub.
‘Nathan! Nay!’
Again, she tried desperately to bring the horse under control, but her yanking of the reins only frightened him more and he sped up further. Before they careered around the corner and out of sight, she looked back.
The brothers were gone. Nathan, on the other hand, was still there. He was in a heap on the ground in a pool of red. A crowd was gathering around him. And she could do nothing but scream and scream, until the blackness descended and she crumpled in a dead faint.
