Sunny couldn’t believe what she was hearing. While Maya missed her, she’d always been supportive of Sunny’s ambitions.
“I can’t believe you said that.”
“I mean, I wish you all the happiness in the world. You know that. But I think you’re letting stubbornness, fear and blind allegiance to goals prevent you from seeing what’s right in front of you.”
Sunny didn’t know what to say. Like she literally didn’t know because her feelings were a jumbled-up mess and she didn’t even know where to start untangling them. She was saved from having to respond by Maya’s phone ringing.
After Maya answered and engaged in a short conversation, she ended the call and stood.
“I have to go.” When she reached the door, however, she turned back to look at Sunny, who hadn’t moved from her chair. “Only you can make decisions about your life, but really think about what I said. Your mom, your brother, Amanda—none of them would want you to use their deaths as an excuse to not allow yourself to love someone.”
Long after Maya drove away, Sunny sat at the table not knowing how to feel. Confused? Hopeful? Excited? Scared out of her mind? All of the above?
After what felt like hours, she shook her head. She couldn’t let other people project their ideas onto her. She was the type of person who made plans and stuck with them. Dean and she had made a deal, and she wasn’t going to back out of it.
But what if he wanted to?
“No,” she said out loud.
She could literally explain away each one of the kisses she and Dean had shared. Kiss one, performing for an audience that needed to believe their marriage was real. Kiss two, caught up in a soft, late-night moment. Kiss three? Wait, how many kisses had they shared that morning anyway?
She lifted her fingertips to her lips, remembering the press of Dean’s. The memory of how it had felt to be pulled close to him by his powerful arms, how safe and comfortable it had been sleeping next to him, made her blush.
Going back to LA for the presentation was a good thing. While the situation with her family and the ranch was still unresolved, she needed the time away from Dean and their continued forced proximity to clear her head and remember who she was, what her goals were, what kind of life she led.
She needed to remember that Dean Wheeler was her friend and nothing more.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
SUNNY HADN’T BEEN this nervous at work in a long time. During the years she’d worked at PTG Consulting, she’d grown more and more confident in her ideas, her approaches to projects, her presentations to clients. But this was different. If she nailed this presentation and was given the promotion, she could go back to Wyoming knowing she was in an even better position to care for her dad and the twins. Surely her dad would see how much having them all together meant to her and agree to the change.
But you are already all together, and you have Dean too.
She shook her head. No, she couldn’t think about Dean or what it had felt like to be kissed by him, held in his arms, right before she had to walk into the conference room and give the presentation of her life.
She also couldn’t think about how distant Dean had seemed before she’d left while obviously trying not to appear that way.
With a deep breath, Sunny put all her effort into shoving confusing thoughts of her...of Dean away and going over her notes one more time. She focused on how excited she was about the idea that had sprung to life as she’d sat listening to it rain a thousand miles away from LA, one that Trudy had unknowingly planted.
The door to the conference room opened and one of her competitors, Jalene Lerman from the Miami office, walked out. Jalene offered Sunny one of those smiles that said, Good luck but not too much good luck. She was spared any awkward, insincere chitchat when Mike motioned her into the conference room.
After a round of reintroductions to the vaguely familiar faces seated at the table along with those she knew far better, Sunny launched into her presentation. Excitement filled her as she proposed that she head up the new division by creating a network of smaller satellite offices that would tackle working with businesses with growth potential but without the big budgets PTG’s clients normally had.
“These strategically placed satellite offices could operate with only one to two people in certain situations, only a handful in others. Many could be home based, thereby not acquiring larger expenses such as office space, utilities and all the typical affiliated costs. But there are a lot of great small businesses across America that could grow into even larger businesses, creating more jobs in areas that need them, if only they were able to access some top-tier consulting such as what PTG provides.”
Sunny had to pace herself because when she became this excited about possibilities, she had a tendency to talk fast. Working with Trudy on ideas for her café, brainstorming and launching ideas for the reimagined festival and all the other bits of advice she’d given to the residents of Jade Valley had shown her that her proposal was a good one. And it would make her stand out among what she suspected would be the usual types of ideas presented by her competitors.
So when she clicked off the screen at the front of the room and turned to look at her audience, she was surprised to not see equal excitement. Instead, the faces that were not looking at her seemed to reflect disappointment and a profound lack of interest.
Still, she kept on the bright expression for which she was known and asked, “Does anyone have any questions?”
“Is this a joke?”
Sunny actually startled at the question from Penelope Fields, the manager of the New York office, a woman who always looked as if she’d just stepped out of the most expensive salon in Manhattan. Even though Sunny had encountered Penelope’s cool demeanor before, the tone of her question felt like the crack of a whip.
“Pardon?”
Penelope gestured toward the blank screen behind Sunny.
“You’re one of the company’s top consultants, so imagine my shock when that was the best you could come up with.”
“I think what Penelope means,” Mike said, looking uncomfortable, “is that this was really unexpected, and not at all what the company is striving toward with this new division.”
“I thought you wanted innovative thinking.” Sunny heard the hint of snappishness in her voice but couldn’t seem to prevent it.
“We are, but you’re very familiar with the type of clients PTG handles.”
“Which is why I purposefully crafted a proposal that would go beyond what the company already has covered.” It was truly out-of-the-box thinking, though she hated that overused phrase.
Bill Edmonds, head of PTG’s overseas operations, leaned forward.
“While the thought and effort that have gone into your proposal are admirable, I believe the concern is that expanding in such a way would dilute the company’s image.”
At least he had the decency to be kind as well as honest.
Though Sunny had a wealth of experience in getting resistant people to come around to her way of thinking, she went silent. It actually hurt that the people facing her were not as excited about her proposal as she was, which of course was silly. They were looking for someone to make the company even more money, boatloads of it. She felt beyond stupid for never realizing before that she might very well be the only PTG employee who actually cared about her clients and their businesses, not only the money they brought into PTG’s coffers.
Instead of further arguing her position, which she knew without a single doubt would be futile, she simply gathered her materials, thanked the assembled management for their time and strode out of the room without sparing them another glance.
She stopped by her desk only long enough to grab her purse, not making eye contact with any of her coworkers, before heading out to an early lunch alone. Though after she picked up a California roll, she sat on a park bench not eat
ing it. Instead, she watched a couple of little kids squealing with delight as they played with their puppy. She’d been back in California for less than a day and she already missed Liam and Lily. Her dad. Maya and Trudy.
She sighed.
And Dean.
Maya’s words echoed in her head. Then the memory of Dean’s lips capturing hers, the way he’d gently, tentatively deepened their kisses. How she’d responded without thinking and how right it had felt.
That rightness had been what scared her, even though she hadn’t fully acknowledged it. She’d left Jade Valley, the ranch and Dean behind, made a good life for herself. Did she really want to give up everything she’d worked for only to go back to the place she’d left almost as soon as she’d been handed her high school diploma?
Yes.
The answer was as clear as the water in Lake Tahoe.
As she sat with the Southern California warmth soaking into her despite sitting in the shade, she also had to acknowledge another truth. Maya had been right. Somewhere in among all the faking of their relationship, she’d fallen for Dean for real. Even knowing that it was true, she still couldn’t quite wrap her mind around it. She’d known him forever, had never thought of him in a romantic way before.
But she did now. She caught herself smiling and her heart rate kicking up when she thought about him, as she looked down at the copper ring he’d chosen for her and placed on her left hand when he proposed.
What if loving him made her too vulnerable? What if she lost him? She almost had even before admitting the truth of her feelings to herself.
But she hadn’t lost him.
The question was how did he feel about her? Did he care as deeply as she did? Had their past as friends and their agreement stood in his way of admitting it too? Or was he just a guy who’d stolen a few kisses?
She had to find out, but she wasn’t about to do it on the phone.
When she returned to the office, she found Mike had left her instructions to plan for a trip to London. As she stared at the message, she couldn’t muster the excitement she normally did for a trip. It wasn’t that she didn’t love London. It was rich with history, and she always made sure to visit some interesting new historic site or museum each time she went there on business. But no place was calling to her at the moment in the same way as Jade Valley.
Sunny lifted her gaze from her computer and scanned her surroundings, then made her decision. Even though it was the right one, her hands shook as she began to type.
* * *
AFTER CARLOS AND Billy went home for the night, Dean headed to the barn to clean his horse’s tack. He draped his saddlecloth over the door to an empty stall, planning to take it home to wash it, before he set to work cleaning the saddle, girth and finally the bridle. He took his time despite being tired because walking into his empty house didn’t hold the appeal it once had.
Before he’d shared it with Sunny.
He shook his head. He’d known what he was getting into when he’d agreed to Sunny’s crazy plan, but he’d walked right into additional heartache and frustration with himself anyway. He had no one to blame but himself. He’d instigated all their kisses, so it was no surprise that he’d finally sent Sunny running back to California.
He supposed he should prepare to start divorce proceedings soon. And then to figure out what he was going to do next because there was no way he could stay on this ranch even if Jonathon didn’t fire him. He couldn’t even sleep worth a dime in his bed or on his couch because memories of kissing the woman he loved were attached to both.
Damn, he was a fool and a half.
He was running water over the bit to clean it of saliva and pieces of hay when Jonathon surprised him by coming into the barn on his crutches.
“Hey, is something wrong?” He glanced beyond his boss toward the house. “Need help with the twins?”
Jonathon shook his head. “No, they’re asleep. Not that they didn’t protest that loudly.”
Dean shook the water off the bit then wiped it down before setting it aside to air-dry.
“Have you heard from Sunny?”
Dean’s moment of hoping Sunny didn’t come up in conversation obviously didn’t help. He shook his head.
“I’m sure she’s busy since she hasn’t been in the office in a while.”
“I can’t believe she went.”
Dean glanced over at Jonathon. “It’s a big opportunity for her.”
“What if she gets it?”
“I’m sure she will. She has more creativity and talent in her pinkie than I have in my whole body.”
“And you’d let her go?”
Dean realized he had to tread carefully until he discussed their next steps with Sunny. He plastered on a smile and gave a little laugh that had no true amusement behind it.
“Has anyone ever been able to stop Sunny from doing something once she put her mind to it?”
Jonathon sighed as he leaned back against the feed storage box.
“You’re every bit as stubborn as she is.”
“Me? What did I do?”
Jonathon settled his gaze on Dean. “When are you going to tell her you love her?”
Remember your role.
“Don’t you think I’ve done that already since we’re married?”
“You mean that fake marriage she cooked up to try to get me to move to California?”
Dean was certain that shock showed on his face, but he couldn’t help it. And he couldn’t lie anymore.
“How long have you known?”
“About your current relationship or how long you’ve been in love with my daughter?”
Dean stared at Jonathon until the older man laughed a little.
“I’ve known how you feel about Sunny since you were in high school, and about the dating and marriage since the beginning.”
Dean gripped the top of the stall he was standing next to.
“Why didn’t you say anything, about any of it?”
“Honestly? I was selfish and wanted my baby girl to come home for good, but I promised her mother I’d never stand in her way of doing what she wanted with her life.”
“Wait, that doesn’t make sense if you knew she was doing this to get you to sell the ranch and move to California.”
“Sure it does because I thought you’d finally tell her how you feel.”
“How would that change anything?”
“Because I thought given enough time and living together, she’d fall for you too and realize that this is where she wants to be, with her family. With you.”
“Well, that’s where you’re wrong.” He motioned toward the open barn doors in the general direction of California.
“Are you sure about that?”
“The fact that she’s in LA right now seems to support my statement.”
“But would she be there if she knew how you feel?”
Dean turned to fully face his temporary father-in-law.
“This is unlike you, talking about feelings and stuff.”
Jonathon nodded once.
“You’re right about that, but I’ve learned the hard way that you have to say things when you have the chance. When someone is gone and you can’t tell them how you feel anymore, it makes you realize how stupid it is to be embarrassed to tell someone you love them.”
The idea of losing Sunny in the same way Jonathon had lost his wife hit Dean in the gut like a boulder the size of Grand Teton. Was it possible Sunny could really come to care about him the way he did her? Love him? Or would confessing to her only make her feel guilty and awkward around him? Would it lead to her making sure they never crossed paths again?
“It’s because I care about her that I don’t want to stand in her way. She’s made her choice, and that’s okay.” Despite the kisses they’d shared. “She lights up when
she talks about all the places she’s been around the world. I’m happy she gets to experience that.”
“Being a martyr isn’t as admirable as you might think.”
“I’m not trying to be a martyr. Sunny has lost enough in her life. She deserves all the happiness and success she sets out to achieve for herself.”
“So that’s it? You’re just going to what, divorce? Go on with your life alone while she does the same?”
“That’s what we agreed upon, and I’m a man of my word.”
“Well, I’m more convinced than ever you’re perfect for each other, both as stubborn as can be.”
Dean grinned. “Pot, meet kettle.”
Jonathon fixed him with a stare then sighed. “Fair. That being said, really think about if you’re willing to take this route. I don’t think it’s a right decision, for either of you.”
Dean didn’t respond because they weren’t going to agree on this. And he didn’t apologize for the lie he had told along with Sunny because Jonathon had gone along with it despite knowing the truth. He’d wanted the situation to yield desired results, the same as Sunny and Dean had. He almost said that maybe Jonathon should take his own advice by being honest with Sunny, but that would put the same kind of pressure on her that Dean being honest about loving her would.
Jonathon must have figured that he wasn’t going to make any inroads with Dean, so he pulled himself up to stand on his crutches.
“Best get back and make sure the kiddos are still sleeping.”
“Call me if you need anything.”
And just like that, they were back to employer and employee as if the conversation about love and loss hadn’t happened.
After making sure Jonathon got back into the house safely without his boss knowing he was being watched, Dean finished cleaning and putting away the tack. Then he grabbed the saddle blanket in need of laundering and made his way to his truck to head for home.
But when he stepped into the home where he’d lived his entire life, it felt profoundly wrong and empty. Though Sunny’s time living with him had been relatively short, he’d become accustomed to seeing her at the end of each day. Now he wouldn’t be surprised that if he said something it would echo endlessly within the walls, continually slapping him with the reality of his loneliness.
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