“I have had a lot of meaningless sex.”
Her lips curved into a frown. “Are you trying to make me jealous? Because it won’t work.”
“It would work, but I wouldn’t do something like that to you.” He leaned forward, straightening so their eyes were in line. “I want you to know I’ve never had meaningful sex. Never wanted to.” He wrapped both arms around her back. “Not until you. You fucked me up, Sunshine.” He skimmed his fingers down the soft skin over her spine. “And if this isn’t going to mean something to you then I’m not doing it.”
“I don’t want it to mean anything to you.” Her voice was soft.
Scared.
But Eva wasn’t scared for herself.
She was scared for him.
“I didn’t either.” He caught one of her hands and lifted it to his shoulder. “But it does.” He found her other hand and rested it on his other shoulder. “I couldn’t stop it from happening. And I fucking tried.”
“You were so crabby. Like an old man.”
He smiled. This is why he couldn’t keep her in the same place he’d managed to put every other woman. She could make him smile even now. When the one thing he never wanted to risk was pressing down on him, unrelenting and unavoidable. “You love old men, though. Remember your friend Elmer?”
“He was way more charming than you are.” Her lips barely lifted before she pressed them flat again. “But you are a clear winner in the body department.” One finger traced a line down the center of his bare chest.
“I’m glad you find me physically more appealing than an eighty-year-old man.”
“Less charming, though.”
“Charm isn’t real, Eva.” He shook his head at her. “Not ever.”
She nodded. “I know.” Her mouth twisted to one side in an off-kilter pout. “I wish you were more charming.”
“I wish you were less—” He tried to come up with a single word to sum up all the reasons he couldn’t help what was happening. “Everything.”
Eva shrugged. “I am what I am.”
“And that’s why you have to deal with this.” He pushed up from the couch. “Because I like what you are.” Her arms tightened around his neck as he stood. “I like that you drink fruit punch and help old men and do yoga in your underwear.”
Her eyes narrowed on his. “Athletic wear.”
“Call it whatever you want, Sunshine.” Brock walked down the short hall. “That was the moment I knew I was fucked.”
“Because I looked so hot?” Her tone dripped with judgment.
She was still trying desperately to box him in.
“Because I would have been doing my best to talk that athletic wear off anyone else.” He stepped into the bigger of the cabin’s two bedrooms, crossing the room to go straight to the bed. “And the thought of you being naked in my bed scared the shit out of me.” He slowly lowered her to the mattress.
Her head barely turned to one side, eyes sliding over the quilt beneath her. “Does that mean I’m not going to be naked soon?”
“It means I’m willing to face it if you are.”
“Oh.” Her arms were still wrapped tight around his neck, keeping him close. “What if I’m not ready to do that?”
“Then I’m happy to ask again tomorrow.”
Eva’s fingers combed through the hair at his nape. “Kay.”
He leaned in close nosing the line of her neck, breathing deep. “I can be patient as hell, so don’t think for a second you can wait me out. If you don’t want this you’re going to have to say it.”
“What if I say I don’t want it?”
“Then I will call Shawn. You can have your pick of who steps in.”
“You would pass me off?” The fear edging her voice said more than she was willing to.
“You can’t have it both ways, Eva. Not with me.” He leaned up, pressing his forehead to hers. “You might be able to look at me every day and pretend you don’t feel anything. I can’t do that.” He skimmed his hands up her bare arms. “I will let you go if that’s what you want, but if that’s what you’re going to ask me to do, then ask now. For my sake.”
She shook her head. “You don’t understand what could happen.”
“Don’t I?” He cradled her face between his palms. “My brother died because he lost the woman he loved. Her death is what killed him. Their kids lost both parents because he couldn’t live without her.”
“You could live without me.”
“I could.” Brock waited until her eyes met his. “That’s why I’m asking you to walk away now if it’s not what you want.”
Eva blinked, working a line of tears back into place. “I’m so scared.”
“I know.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead. This woman had seen so much of what happened when relationships went bad. When men lied. When trust was broken.
He’d only seen the opposite. Men who loved women with everything they had. Treasured them.
Protected them.
“Don’t be scared of me, Eva.”
Her head barely shook. “I’m not scared of you.”
He smiled. “Good.”
He’d let her lie this time. Soon it wouldn’t be a lie.
“This might not be what you think it is, Brock.” Her eyes moved over his face before coming back to his. “It might not work out.”
“I know that.” The thought actually gave him comfort. Made it possible to take this step. If it didn’t work out then he wouldn’t ever be where his brother was.
She was quiet for a minute as her hands smoothed over his shoulders. “We might fight over everything.”
“We might.”
She was talking herself through the same possibilities he had. Working them into a life raft of sorts. Something to keep her afloat in deep and treacherous waters.
“We might not get along at all.”
“Might not.”
Her touch moved down his arms, sliding over his biceps and forearms. “We might end up just being friends.”
They wouldn’t. There’s no way he could be just Eva’s friend. “It’s possible.”
The tips of her fingers moved across his stomach, her soft touch progressing along with her thoughts. If it took the expectation of failing to get her to take this step then so be it. Whatever she needed, he would let her have.
“I like you, Broccoli.” Her eyes followed the path of her hands. “I like that you’re crabby and bossy and no fun.”
“I told you. I am fun.” He relaxed a little giving her more of his weight. “But I will never think you putting yourself in danger is fun.”
One brow lifted. “You just put me on the back of a snow motorcycle. How is that any different?” The other brow went up to meet the first. “It’s not.”
“You’re a pain in the ass, Tatum.”
“Does that mean you changed your mind about,” her hand pushed down into his pants, “oh.”
“Does it seem like I’ve changed my mind?” He gritted his teeth as her fingers skimmed the side of his dick.
“I don’t know.” She smiled, slow and sweet. “I might need to take a closer look.”
CHAPTER 14
WAS HIS EYE twitching?
“What’s wrong?”
She wasn’t the kind of chick who laid back and thought of England, so if Brock was expecting a woman who was fine with putting her satisfaction in someone else’s hands then he was going to be disappointed in this interaction.
“Nothing is wrong.” His eyes shut as she managed to get her hand a little farther into the open fly of his jeans. “I’m fine.”
“You don’t look fine.” Between the tight fit of his boxer briefs and the unforgiving cut of his jeans she was barely able to get her hand around him. “You look unhappy.”
“I’m not unhappy.” His lids pressed tight together as she eased down the length of his cock. “I’m focused.”
“On what?”
“Not making an ass of myself.” He tried to pull away but she c
aught him by the belt loop with her free hand.
“Where are you going?” She used her hold on his pants to work them down a little, trying to find more working room. “Can you take your pants off?”
His eyes opened at the request.
“Please?” She gave him a smile, wiggling her brows. “If you take yours off, I’ll take mine off.”
“How about you just take yours off and we see where that takes us?”
“That seems like less fun than both our pants coming off.” Eva tried to shimmy his jeans further down his hips, but the damn things were stuck. She lifted her head to peek down at the situation. “You ass.”
Brock’s legs were apart, one knee resting on the mattress at either side of her thighs, the position preventing her from progressing in her quest to get him more naked.
He grinned down at her. “No one’s ever called me an ass in bed before.”
“That’s shocking.” Eva pushed at his chest. “Are you going to be like this the whole time?”
“Probably.” Brock’s fingers worked the fly of her jeans open. “Maybe worse.”
“Worse?” She scoffed as he snagged her hand and pulled it out of his pants. “Hey.”
“You can have it back later.” He pushed upright, hovering over her on his knees. “When I’m done.”
“Done with what?” She pushed up on her elbows as Brock peeled down her jeans, only struggling a little with the skinny fit, and that was mostly around her ankles.
He frowned down at her underwear.
She looked at the prettiest pair of panties she owned. They were black satin with a pink floral design. Her bra even matched. “What’s wrong?”
“I thought I knew you better than this.” Brock reached out to trace the dipping cut of the underpants with one finger.
“What were you expecting?”
“I kind of expected your underwear to be the ones with the days of the week on it.” His finger dragged across her skin to follow the line of the cup of her bra, tracing over the swell of her breast.
He seemed so disappointed in himself. Upset he didn’t see her as clearly as he thought.
But he did.
“I have those.” Eva considered not telling him the full truth, but he just looked so dejected. “Yesterday I wore Monday.”
Yesterday wasn’t Monday.
Brock’s finger kept moving, following the dip into her cleavage. “Why aren’t you wearing them now?” His gaze slowly lifted to hers and her stomach slipped.
“Because I wore them yesterday.” Hopefully the explanation would appease him. Just in case she slipped one hand behind her back and unhooked the expensive bra she saved for special occasions.
Sexy special occasions.
His eyes didn’t leave hers as she pulled it free and tossed it over the side of the bed.
“Why aren’t you wearing your normal panties, Eva?”
“Reasons.” She took a deep breath, purposefully pushing her breasts higher, hoping to distract him. “Touch me, Brock. Please?”
He shook his head. “Not until you tell me what I want to know.”
Damn him. Why couldn’t he be like every other man in the world and go half stupid over boobs? “You’re an ass.”
“I plan to reward your honesty.” He dropped back to his hands and knees, his body hovering just over hers. “Tell me.”
“What are you going to give me if I do?”
His lips slid over the skin of her neck. “First my fingers.” He nipped at her skin. “Then my tongue.” The wet heat of his mouth closed around the lobe of her ear, his tongue circling in a way that had her thighs pressing tight together. His teeth barely raked over her skin as he pulled away. “And then my cock.”
She literally whimpered. Like some sort of inexperienced woman who trembled when a man touched her.
That was not her. Not ever.
“Why are you wearing these panties, Eva?” His fingers barely dipped under the elastic banding her waist.
He already knew.
“You are an ass.” She wiggled a little, trying to work his hand closer to where she wanted it.
“You keep saying that but you’re not going anywhere, so I’m not convinced you believe it.” His touch skimmed over the top of her pubic bone. “Just say it. Give me the truth.”
“Are you going to use that against me forever?”
“I hope so.” His fingers moved an inch lower.
Almost there.
“I wanted to be prepared.”
“You said you weren’t going to sleep with me.” His tone held a smile.
Gloating.
“I wasn’t.”
“But you changed your mind.”
“Ugh.” She stared up at the ceiling. “Maybe.”
He pushed lower, barely skimming her labia. “You’re so close to getting what you want, Tatum.”
“Yes. Fine. I changed my mind.”
A low rumble moved through Brock’s chest. “I knew you could do it.”
His fingers immediately found her clit, stroking with a steady, purposeful touch. One that was unrelenting. There was no teasing. No hesitation.
None of the normal trial and error that normally happened the first time. Probably because this man had more experience than most of the ones in her past.
Thank God.
She was coming in what felt like seconds. The slide of his fingers slowed, dragging out the climax with expert precision.
She should have been at least a little satisfied. Partially placated.
“You are so fucking sexy.” Brock’s voice was a little ragged. A little rough.
“I know.”
He smiled. “Good.”
“You’re a little sexy too.”
“A little?” He hooked a finger from each hand under the waistband of her panties and dragged them down her legs. “I just got you off and I’m only a little sexy?”
She lifted one shoulder. “If getting me off is how we’re going to measure sexiness, then I definitely have you beat.”
He growled low in his chest. “You are fucking dangerous, you know that?” Brock tossed her panties over the side of the bed. “Hazardous to my sanity.”
“I question your sanity anyway, Broccoli.” She reached up to grab him by the hair, pulling him down until his body pressed against hers. “You kill people for a living. That’s not sane.”
“I kill bad people.” He groaned when her legs wrapped around his waist, seating him where she most wanted him to be.
Her eyes moved over his face. “There are a lot of bad people in this world. People you would never expect to be as awful as they are.” She traced a path across his cheekbones and down the slightly-rough stubble covering his cheeks. “I see it every day. They lie. Cheat. Steal. And they always blame someone else. No one ever owns what they do.”
“Why do you do it?”
The answer to that question was complicated and convoluted, but still painfully simple.
And it was something Eva didn’t want to think about right now. If she did this wouldn’t happen.
She would push him away. Convince herself it was for the best.
But it would be a lie.
“Lots of reasons.” She lifted her hips, hoping to shift the emotional closeness he was hoping for to a more physical one. “I feel like you made me certain promises, Broccoli. Something about mouths and cocks, and I’ve seen none of that.”
Brock leaned in so close his nose almost touched hers. “You act like we aren’t snowed into a cabin in the middle of nowhere.” His hand skimmed up the side of her body, coming to cradle her face in his palm. “If you think for a second I have any intention of rushing this then you have lost your damn mind.”
“Does that mean you can only go once?”
He stared at her.
“I’m just asking. So I know what to expect. Because so far there’s been a lot of talking and not very much doing.”
The world was not kind to demanding women, and she was no e
xception.
But it was who she was. Who she’d learned to be proud to be.
Because hiding who you are does no one any good. Not ever.
But Brock didn’t look frustrated with her. He actually looked amused.
“Where did you come from?” His thumb traced her lower lip. “Just when I think I’ve seen the best you have to offer, you go and give me more.” His lips took his thumb’s place, moving against hers as he kept talking. “Now I’m going to have to ask you to shut up for a while.”
“How long is a while?” She pressed her lips together.
“Long enough.” His hand trailed down her body, fingers finding a nipple and rolling it between them. “Don’t want you to wake up tomorrow disappointed.”
“I guess we’ll see.” She arched into his touch.
“You’ll see. I already know.” Brock shifted, moving down until his mouth replaced his fingers, teeth and tongue working her nipple until she was writhing under him. When he released it she thought he would move lower. Instead he found her other breast, nipping and sucking at that nipple like he had all the time in the world.
And it was driving her crazy.
“What’s wrong, Tatum? You seem impatient.” He sucked her tightened tip deep into his mouth, tongue swirling before flipping back and forth.
“You’re teasing me.”
“You just came. Remember?”
“And I would like to do it again.”
Brock laughed but it sounded more like a growl. “The first one was for you.” He moved lower again, kissing his way down her belly. “This one is mine.”
“Why would you want—” The lap of his tongue over her clit stole the rest of her words.
“I’m laying a foundation, Eva.” Another swipe of his tongue. “One I plan to build on.”
The next lick made her whimper again. It made her sound needy. Out of control. “Stop making me do that.”
“No.” His thumbs parted her, pulling her open so he could torture her with nothing in his way.
And that’s what he fucking did.
Brock would give her just enough to have her climbing toward release, and then he would take it away. Steal it right out from under her.
Then the asshole would do it again.
Counterfeit Relations (Alaskan Security: Team Rogue Book 2) Page 13
