I shrugged. “What’s the point. He prefers to pretend I don’t exist.”
Her hand rested on my arm, the warmth melting the icy chill that always descended when I thought about my family. I might have engineered this conversation, but that didn’t mean this shit was any easier to talk about.
“Do you want to tell me about it?”
I heaved a sigh and swept a hand over my face. “My dad and I used to be close, especially after my mother died when I was still young. Dad remarried, and he and my stepmother, Jenice, had Jenna soon after. But when she died, all that ended. Jenice blames me, and I blame me. Dad got caught in the middle and chose a side.” I snorted a laugh, but there was no mirth in it, only bitterness. “You can guess which side he chose.”
Her grip tightened, as did the skin around her mouth as she flattened her lips. “It wasn’t your fault.”
I didn’t respond because I saw no point in arguing. I was to blame. If I’d never taken Jenna and her friend to that concert, she’d still be alive. The terrorist might be the real culprit, but that didn’t stop me feeling the way I did.
“You must miss your dad.”
I shrugged, sorry I’d started this conversation now, especially as Izabelle showed no signs of sharing her story, which had been the whole reason for picking at this painful scab. I got to my feet. “I could do with some fresh air. Want to take a walk with me?”
She took the hint that the sharing and caring shit was over and glided to her feet. “Sounds good.”
A couple of days later, I entered the kitchen and found her and Barbara stuffing sandwiches and snacks into a backpack.
“What’s going on?”
Izabelle hit me with a blinding smile. “We’re getting the heck out of this house and going on a hike. Don’t even bother arguing with me. It’s a gorgeous day, much cooler than the last few days, and I, for one, am not sitting around here watching the grass grow. Besides, Bandit needs to burn off some steam. I caught him yesterday digging like crazy on the living room rug. I managed to stop him before he destroyed it, but now that he’s growing, he needs much more exercise.”
I waited until she’d finished. “Sales pitch over?” I asked, arching an eyebrow. “Can I speak now?”
Barbara sniggered. Izabelle crossed her arms over her chest.
“Yes, but if you’re—”
“Ah, ah.” I waggled my finger. “You’ve used up your word allowance.”
She growled, and my dick twitched. Damn, I wanted her, but I was conscious that we’d done little more than kiss, and she’d given me no come-on signals that she wanted to take things further. Until she did, I’d have to keep jerking off in the shower with the image of her firmly fixed in my mind to satisfy my growing urges.
“A hike sounds like a great idea,” I said.
She broke into a broad smile. “Really? I expected you to be an asshole about the idea.”
“Charming.” I bent down to scoop up Bandit who’d wandered in from God only knew where, wearing a guilty expression. I groaned, fully expecting to find another pair of expensive Italian loafers completely destroyed. Before I’d owned a dog, I wouldn’t have believed they had the capability to show guilt, but they absolutely did. His eyes turned soulful, and he often hung his head as if to say “Sorry, but I couldn’t help it”.
“What have you been up to, you little monster?” I pointlessly asked. If only dogs could talk…
“I’ll just finish off here,” Izabelle said. “And then we can go.”
Ten minutes later, we had the car loaded with food and water, a container for Bandit to drink from, and a few treats in case he wandered off and I needed to coax him to return.
Izabelle had picked one of the quieter trails that were away from the main tourist spots. It took us around forty-five minutes to drive there, and as we pulled into the parking lot, Bandit must have sensed the approaching exciting activity and he barked and tugged on his harness. I shrugged into the backpack, and we both coated any exposed skin liberally in sunscreen. Bandit took no notice of the water I poured for him, far too interested in the newness of his latest adventure. I unhooked his lead, and he took off running. I didn’t let him get too far before I called him back. He returned immediately and plunked on his rump, his tongue lolling out the side of his mouth. Once he’d snaffled the treat, he sped away, but stopped every few seconds to turn around and make sure we were still there.
“You’ve done a great job training him,” Izabelle said.
I clasped her hand and rubbed my thumb over her knuckles. “Your training of me hasn’t gone so badly either.”
She laughed. “It was only a matter of time.”
I lifted her hand to my lips and pressed a kiss to the back of it. “Thank you. For putting up with me. For sticking around and refusing to give up. For encouraging me to get out more. For suggesting this as a trip out, rather than something more… populated.”
“I knew you wouldn’t want to go to a crowded beach or a theme park, or anything like that.” She pushed her sunglasses on top of her head and squinted up at me. “I get it, Upton. Really, I do.”
I nodded. “I believe you.”
We fell into silence, partly because of the energy needed to hike the steep mountain. I worked out regularly enough—in my gym—but hill walking took a different kind of fitness, and the compression on my chest and the way my lungs burned told me I needed to do this a little more often. I shifted my gaze to Izabelle. Maybe, with her by my side, I would.
We hardly passed anyone on our way to the summit, and when we reached the top, only two other couples had also summited, both a fair distance away. I dropped the backpack and gave Bandit a drink. Unfolding the picnic blanket proved tricky when he kept trying to lie on it before I was done rolling it out. In the end, Izabelle picked him up to allow me to finish the task. The second I had, he leaped from Izabelle’s arms and plunked himself right in the middle as if to say “Mine”.
I nudged him out of the way. “This dog is taking liberties,” I grumbled.
“Well, you know what they say. There’s no such thing as a bad dog, only a bad owner.”
I gathered her in my arms and pulled her flush against me. “Is that so?” I murmured. “Then maybe I’ll have to show you just how bad I can be.”
I kissed her, starting off slow and exploratory, but as I’d learned was the case when my lips connected with Izabelle’s, passion exploded between us. I rubbed my cock on her clit, and she moaned into my mouth. Fuck if that didn’t give me an erection as hard as an iron bar.
Just as I was getting into my stride, the damned dog got jealous and scratched at my leg. I tried to shake him off but failed miserably.
I broke off the kiss. “That’s it,” I said. “The dog has to go.”
She laughed and sat on the blanket, tugging me down next to her. “I know you don’t mean that.”
“If he fucks up the next kiss, you’re damn right I mean it.”
She cradled my face, right over my scar. I flinched.
“No one sees your scars, Upton.”
I shook my head. “Bullshit. People stare at me all the time. At the hospital, on the street. Sitting at a set of traffic lights minding my own goddamn business.”
On that occasion, the young guy who’d yelled “Fucking freak” through his window while trying to impress his deadbeat friends, who all thought it highly amusing to yell slurs at a complete stranger, had lived to regret his words. I’d gotten out of my car, stormed around to the drivers’ side, yanked open his door, and slammed my fist into his face. Blood had splattered the windshield, his nose busted from a single punch.
Served the fucker right.
But I couldn’t fight the world. And so I’d withdrawn from public life, only going out when I absolutely had to.
Until her.
Izabelle.
Somehow, the walls I’d built lay crumbled around my feet, and it was all thanks to the woman sitting beside me.
“I don’t mean people,
Upton,” she said. “Who gives a shit about them? I mean those who matter. Sebastian, Antonio, Barbara, Paolo. Your other friends from your company.” She nibbled on her lip, and her gaze rested on my face. “Me. I only see you.”
My stomach flipped over, and I spun her on her back. I kissed her and burrowed underneath her jacket and T-shirt, seeking out her soft, round breasts. Her nipple pebbled beneath my thumb, and I pinched it.
She tore her lips away from mine, her eyes seeking me out. “We’re in public,” she panted.
“Do you want me to stop?”
“Yes, I mean, no.”
I tugged down the cup of her bra and sucked the point into my mouth, tasting her. Sweet. Delectable. Heaven.
Mine.
“What if someone sees,” she said, her skin reddening beautifully.
“Then let’s put on a show.”
Even Bandit must have caught the mood, staying as he did on the corner of the blanket and looking toward the other hikers almost as if he was keeping watch.
Good dog.
I released her other breast and pushed them together, then sucked on both nipples at once. She went crazy, grinding against me, her hips seeking more friction, more attention. Just more. I rubbed her through the thick denim, but it wasn’t enough. With a single flick, the button on her jeans came undone. Her zipper was next, and then I pushed two fingers inside her, right where she needed me to be. Right where I needed to be.
“You feel like a goddamn dream,” I muttered. “Like the best dream I’ve ever had.”
She mumbled something, but she was so far gone by this time, lost in a haze of desire, the words made no sense. I flicked her clit then pressed down with the pad of my thumb, moving my fingers in and out of her, curving inside to scrape the front wall of her pussy.
Her muscles clenched, gripping me hard. Fuck, I needed her to do that around my cock. She’s close.
“Upton, God, please.”
I bit her nipple and simultaneously scraped my thumbnail over her clit. It wasn’t gentle. She didn’t want or need gentle. She crested and cried out. I swallowed her screams, pushing my tongue into her mouth, wishing it was her pussy. We needed somewhere more private before I could taste her there. My bedroom as soon as we got home, perhaps.
“Jesus. God. I’ve never… God, I’ve never done anything like that in public.”
Her face pinked up again. It suited her. I grinned, unashamed.
“Then you’ve led a very sheltered life.”
“Says the hermit,” she retorted, shoving her tits back inside her bra.
“Spoil my view why don’t you,” I said, my eyes locked on her chest as she tugged her T-shirt back into place.
She shot a glance at the other couples, relief flooding her face when she realized they weren’t paying us any attention, too busy checking out the amazing view from up here.
“Relax.” I lay on my side and propped my head up on my elbow, drawing figures of eight on her smooth, flat belly. “How long has it been since you’ve had an orgasm?”
The color returned to her cheeks. “I’m not telling you that?”
“Why not?”
She averted her gaze. “Because.”
“Very adult response,” I drawled. “Come on, Belle. I want to know.”
Her forehead creased. “You just called me Belle.”
I wrinkled my nose. “I guess now I’ve had my fingers inside you, I should call you by the name you prefer. Now stop stalling. How long.”
“Fine. Thirty seconds.”
I chuckled. Clever girl.
“And the time before that.”
“I don’t like the turn of this conversation,” she grumbled.
“Okay, I’ll go first. The last time I came inside a woman was five days before the bomb that killed my sister.”
Her eyes widened, and she winced a little at my blunt statement. “The last time you had an orgasm was more than fifteen months ago.”
I shook my head. “That’s not what I said. Believe me, I’ve had plenty of orgasms. We need them. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. I had an incredible one watching you climb out of my pool. Yellow bikini. Sooooo hot.”
Her jaw clanged open. “You watched me?” she whispered.
“Oh yeah.” I flicked my tongue over my lips. “Best orgasm I’ve had in a while. Damn near blew my head off.”
“I-I… You’re unbelievable.”
I gave her a crooked smile. “I can’t deny it. It’s true. I am.”
She tutted. “I’m berating you, not congratulating you.”
I grinned, snagged her around the waist, and kissed her. “It’s all the same to me, angel.” I ran my nose down hers. “Your turn.”
Her eyes took on a faraway look, and then they filled with tears. “The night before my fiancé died.”
15
Belle
What the hell have you done?
Upton stared at me, surprise, curiosity, and, yes, a hint of jealousy etched across his face. “You were engaged?”
Goddammit, Belle.
“Yes. My high school sweetheart.”
He shifted his position, putting a little distance between us. Whether that was for me or for him, I didn’t know.
“How did he die?”
I shook my head, still not ready to have this conversation despite what we’d just done, how close we’d grown over the last few weeks. The longer my subterfuge went on, the harder it became to tell him. “Do you mind if I don’t talk about it?”
He nodded, twisting a lock of my hair around his forefinger. “I understand.” He smiled wryly. “Boy, do I ever. Y’know, after Jenna died, it was months before I could take a full breath. Even now, there are times when I feel like I’m drowning. But these last few weeks, it’s gotten easier. I don’t think I’ll ever fully shed the pain of losing my sister, but you, Belle, you open my eyes to the possibility of a normal life.”
His words, spoken with such honesty and feeling, were so close to my own that I struggled not to spill my guts, right then and there, but despite his increasing frankness, something I couldn’t explain still held me back.
I drew my teeth over my bottom lip. “I’m so sorry about your sister.”
He lowered his head and briefly kissed me. “I’m sorry about your fiancé.”
I smiled, desperate to bring a little light to the grief-stricken direction our conversation had taken. “We’re a pair, aren’t we?”
A chuckle fell from his lips, and he sat up and then held out his hand to me. “Shall we eat? I’m starved.”
Upton gave Bandit a dog chew to keep him occupied, and we dug into our picnic. An hour later, with the backpack significantly lighter, we made our way back down the mountainside. As soon as Upton put Bandit into his harness, he lay down on the car seat and promptly fell asleep.
“Dogs are so lucky,” I said, righting an ear that had turned inside out. “I could do with a nap myself.”
Upton tapped his watch. “You’re on the clock until five.”
I rolled my eyes. “Slave driver.”
His gaze rested on my face and then slipped to my chest. “You can take a nap in my bed.”
My throat tightened, and I forced a swallow past a lump in my throat. Was I ready for that yet? I’d only ever slept with Marin, and we’d dated for almost a year before we took that final step. I mean, we did lots of other stuff before then, but… Then again, I wasn’t a teenager any longer. I was a woman, and here standing before me was a man, a beautiful, damaged, reclusive man with many obstacles of his own still to overcome.
The problem was that he’d enchanted me, but I also feared the feelings he stimulated. I was terrified of taking such a huge leap and risk getting hurt. Upton had cut himself off from normal life, and in my head, that made me a rebound of sorts, someone he could practice on, test the waters with, and then once he was ready, forge out into the world he’d left behind.
And leave me along with it.
“I-I can’t. I’m sorry. I
t’s too soon.”
“Because you’re still in love with your fiancé?” he asked, not unkindly.
“No, it’s not that. It’s…” I couldn’t explain, not without basically telling him I didn’t trust him.
“You think I’m using you.”
“No. Yes. Maybe.” I covered my face with my hands and rubbed. “That came out all wrong.”
He captured my wrists and tugged, forcing me to face him. “You don’t have to explain. I can see why you might think you’re some kind of therapy for me. Only time will show you that isn’t true. Even before Jenna died, I wasn’t what you’d call a player.” He chuckled. “At least not as much as some of my friends. I dated women, sure, but I didn’t jump from one bed to another.” He dropped a kiss on my forehead. “Shall we head off?”
Silence enveloped us as Upton drove back to his place, and when I couldn’t stand it any longer, I asked the question that had burned me since he’d mentioned it. “The woman you slept with before your sister passed away. What happened to her?”
His lips twisted to one side. “She ended it before I’d even left the hospital. We hadn’t dated for long. A couple of months maybe, but she couldn’t even bear to look at me. At this.” He pointed to the jagged scar that, for me, only added to his allure.
“Then you’re well rid of her,” I said, folding my arms across my chest defensively.
He chuckled, and he grazed his knuckles down my cheek. “I kinda like you sticking up for me.”
“Some people suck.”
“Yes,” he said, nodding. “They do.”
The atmosphere lifted, although we shared no more than a few words for the rest of the journey. Upton eased the car into the garage, cut the engine, then shifted in his seat to face me.
“Two things,” he said. “Firstly, I don’t want you catching the bus any longer, not when I have all these cars sitting here gathering dust. So, take your pick.”
My jaw dropped. “You’re giving me a car?”
“Loaning you a car,” he qualified. “As long as you work for me, it’s yours. Call it a company perk.”
Enchanted: A Billionaire Romance (The ROGUES Series Book 4) Page 10
