by Amy Cecil
Afterwards, she was snuggled up against me, tracing the tat on my chest. She loved that dragon for some reason, I wasn’t sure why.
“You’re not staying, are you?” she asked quietly.
I didn’t say anything for a minute, and then I replied, “No, baby, I can’t.”
She stopped tracing my tat and was silent for a while. Then she asked, “Why did you come back, then?”
“I would like to think that is obvious,” I said.
“Oh, I see,” she said. Suddenly I was reminded of Emma the little girl who didn’t get what she wanted.
“What’s the matter, princess? And don’t tell me ‘nothing’. I can hear it in your voice.”
“Nothing,” she said.
“What did I just say? I know something is wrong. Now tell me what the fuck is bothering you before I spank that perfect ass of yours.” Her body snuggled up closer to me, but she was not getting out of this one. I added, “Don’t go trying to get me to take you again. It’s not working. Now tell me.”
She looked up at me, knowing she had no choice but to tell me. “Well, earlier you said you loved me. But now, you say that the only reason you came back was to get laid.”
“When did I say that was the only reason I came back?”
“You said it was obvious. Anyone could figure out what you meant by that from your actions this evening.”
“Emma, baby, that’s not what I meant. I meant I came back because I love you, sweetheart, and I just had to see you, to tell you how I feel. I realized earlier that I never really said it, and when Grayson took you, one of my worst nightmares was that something awful would happen to you and you would never know how I truly felt about you. Don’t you understand, baby? You are my world now. We are spending the rest of our lives together. I am nothing without you.”
I felt wetness on my chest and realized that she was crying. “Emma?” She was silent. “Baby, are you ok?” I asked again.
Muffled by her tears, she said, “Cade, did you just propose to me?”
I thought, well, shit. I hadn’t realized it when I’d said it, but I guess I kinda had proposed. I knew I wanted to marry her and to spend the rest of my life with her. But I also wanted her proposal to be special ... not with me just stopping in for a night and then leaving her again for God knows how long.
“In a way, babe, yeah, I did. But this is not the official proposal. When I propose to you, baby, you will not question whether I am proposing or not. You will know, and damn it, woman, you fucking better say yes!”
She moved up to face me, her lips barely touching my own. “I’m saying yes now and I will say yes then. I love you, Caden.” She kissed me with a soft, sweet kiss and lay back down to snuggle against me. Moments later we were sated, happy, and asleep.
Chapter 11
Emma
When I woke the next morning it was still dark outside. I glanced over at the clock on the end table; it read 4:12 am. I first thought, why am I up so early? Then I realized I could hardly breathe. Cade was practically laying on top of me. I thought, why does he always do this? His weight was pressing on my chest and I was suffocating. I had to get up. Carefully, trying not to disturb him, I wriggled away. The house was still quiet, so I assumed that nobody else was awake yet.
I stood there for a moment watching him sleep. He was so damn sexy. The covers had been tossed off the bed and he was laying there on his stomach, completely naked. He looked a little different from when I saw him last. His hair seemed longer and he had a beard, which was jet-black like his hair, but was also speckled with gray. I could stare at him all day. The club rocker tat on his back was incredible; this was the first time I had a chance to really look at it. Knights of Silence was tattooed in an arc at the top of the design. Underneath, in an arc curving in the opposite direction, was tattooed Edinboro Chapter. The words were cool and everything, but the most intriguing part of the tat was the design that filled the center section.
It was an odd design: a menacing dragon encompassing a Celtic cross. The wings of the dragon were open and hooded the entire image. The image was engulfed in flames. I wondered what it all meant. I knew a little about Celtic animal symbols, and I knew the dragon represented all of creation, symbolizing power and vitality. If I remembered correctly, it was considered the most powerful Celtic symbol. I could see that some of this tied to the MC, but I wasn’t seeing the whole picture. Then I realized Caden’s tat was identical to the image on the back of his cut, just not quite so detailed.
After inspecting his tat—along with his incredible body—I figured it’d be best if I got into the shower. I knew he’d be up soon and I guessed he would have to leave. When will I see him again? I can’t think about that now. I have a part to play today, and it has to be my best performance. Thank God it’s just acting.
I was just finishing my shower when I heard the bathroom door open. At first, I was startled, but then I remembered it was probably just Cade. There was no shower curtain to hide behind, so I soon saw him in all his delicious glory. Ok, I thought, so perhaps he wasn’t going to get up and leave right away. By the look on his face, he definitely had other things in mind. He sauntered over to me and stood as close as he could get to me. Before I had time to think, he grabbed me and pulled me up against his body. Instinctively, I wrapped my legs and arms around him as he pushed me against the shower wall. He didn’t say a word. Instead, he took my mouth in a rough and deep kiss. He’d never kissed me like that before and the sensation of his beard against my skin was intoxicating. There was so much need and passion in every movement of his mouth. His tongue thrusted into me over and over, and I felt his hardness pushing against me as he pumped his hips in time with his tongue. He had lit a fire in me, and I felt like a cat in heat.
His right hand slid down my back, cupping my ass. His strength was overwhelming and only made me want him more. With his right hand pinned between my ass and the shower wall, he took his left hand and reached under my thigh, continuing further right to my core. I was dripping wet, and not from the water that was pummeling down on me. His fingers entered me, sending me into shuttering convulsions, and I knew if he continued that I wasn’t going to last. He pulled his mouth away from me and talked to me with his eyes, all while his fingers continued to fuck me. He was asking me if I wanted more. I was losing my mind, and all I could do was nod. Words had failed me. Then, he stopped. What. The. Fuck.
“Caden, please,” I begged. He just grinned and began again. He worked me just to the point of orgasm over and over again, never allowing me any release. I couldn’t take it anymore. I cried, “Cade, please, give it to me. Now!” Every nerve in my body was completely over stimulated. I needed a release, and I needed him to give it to me.
Before I knew what was happening, Caden let me go and turned me around so I was facing the wall. “Bend over and brace yourself on the wall,” he directed. “This is gonna be hard and fast, baby.”
I did as I was told and then said, “The harder the better.” I think my words were his undoing. He entered me with a fury of lust, pounding into me. It felt like my insides were going to explode with pleasure. His hands reached around me, one cupping my breast, the other traveling down my belly to my clit. That was my undoing. I erupted into the most intense orgasm my body had ever known. My pussy continued to contract around him as I rode out my orgasm. The pulsating wouldn’t stop, it was that intense—and then I felt a warm sensation run down my leg. Caden had found his release. Once he was done, he leaned over my body holding me close. “God, baby, I fucking love you!” he whispered.
He gave me a chaste kiss on my back and stepped away. My legs felt like rubber bands, and I didn’t think I could move without falling over. I just stayed where I was, still holding onto the shower wall for support.
“Babe?” he asked. “Are you ok?”
I couldn’t do anything but nod.
He came around and squatted down to face me, saying, “Oh, baby, did I hurt you?”
If he only
knew. I looked at him with all the love in my eyes as I started to stand up. He stood too and grabbed my hand to give me support. I was feeling very light-headed and I needed to get my wits about me before I spoke. I could see the worry in his expression and I was doing everything I could to ease his mind.
As I started to feel better, I reached up and touched the side of his face. “No, baby, you didn’t hurt me.” Relief washed over his face. He really believed that he had hurt me. Poor baby. I added, “You just gave me the best fuck I have ever had.” He grinned, obviously pretty proud of himself.
“Emma, my love, you got that all wrong. You just gave me the best fuck of my life,” he said as he pulled me into his arms.
I had never felt such happiness as I did at that moment. And then, I suddenly remembered Mark and what had been done to him. How could a man who had so much love and care in his heart do that? I knew I was going to be sorry for asking, because deep down, I already knew the answer … but I still had to ask.
I waited until we got out of the shower. We were back in the bedroom getting dressed when I asked, “Caden, did you kill Mark?” I couldn’t hold it in any longer; I just had to know. As happy as I was to have him here—even knowing that he would be gone again sooner than I wanted—I still could not get the image of Mark’s body out of my head.
He was silent.
I asked again. “Caden, I saw Mark at the house. I saw what was done to him. So please, tell me. I need to know. Did you do that to him?”
By the way he was acting, I knew the answer. Hawk had said he did it. Now he’d confirmed it. “Yes,” he replied, in almost a whisper.
“Why? You didn’t just kill him, Cade, you tortured him. You mutilated his body and hung him like a side of beef in a meat locker awaiting a butcher. How could you do such a thing?”
“Emma, I was in the house with you. I was bound and gagged in that basement and he had cameras on you. He made me watch everything, even when he tried to rape you. I did everything in my power to get free, but at first my anger got the best of me and I couldn’t concentrate enough to free myself. When he left you alone, I was able to relax a little and I was finally able to get free. I couldn’t act immediately because I had to wait until I knew you were safe. I didn’t know what I would encounter if I went upstairs, and I wasn’t about to take any chances with the one shot I had. I couldn’t risk your life. So I waited and bided my time. When he told you to leave, I knew my time had come. All the anger that was in me from watching him touch you the way he did let loose. What you saw in the basement was the result of that anger.”
To a point, I could understand his actions. At least, my heart did. My head was seeing something different; all it could see was a cold-blooded killer. He scared me. I asked, “Do you know why he did this? He gave me some information about Brianne telling me everything about him, but he never elaborated.”
“Yes, I do,” he replied.
“Well? Why, Caden?”
“It’s a long story. I promise when this is all over, I will explain. I just can’t right now; I really don’t have a lot of time. I need to leave before the sun comes up.”
“Can I ask one more question?”
“Sure, but it has to be quick. I’ve already spent too much time here.”
“Is Brianne alive?” It was one answer I was dreading. I prayed that she was, but after all I had been through, I doubted it.
“I believe so, but I am not sure. When this is all said and done, I am hoping that when I come home, Brianne will be coming with me. Just trust me on this, please.”
I decided to leave it at that. It was the best I could hope for under the circumstances. “Ok, I trust you.” I was worried about the monster inside, but I still loved this man with every fiber of my being. He’d never let me down before. So, when I said that I trusted him, I really meant it.
Knowing that Caden would be leaving soon, I was already starting to sink into a little depression. I heard someone downstairs and peeked over the loft. It was Rebel, making coffee in the kitchen. Ari and Honey must still have been asleep. I turned to Caden, who was just putting on his shoes, and asked, “You’re leaving now, aren’t you?”
I could tell by the look on his face that he was just as bummed as I was. “Yeah, babe. The sooner I get this done, the sooner I can come home for good,” he said.
I was quiet for a moment as I watched him lace up his boots, then I asked, “Caden, is there a chance that you might not come home?” I was worried. I was so afraid that this might be the last time I would ever see him.
He stopped messing with his boots and looked up at me. “Emma, nothing in life is for certain. I could have a normal job and this could be a normal day. I could be getting ready to go to work, let’s say in a bank. I get dressed, I kiss my wife goodbye, and I leave. As I’m crossing the street, I get hit by a car and die. This is no different, sweetheart. We live every day never knowing for sure that the ones we love will return to us. The only thing that gets us through all that uncertainty is faith.” He walked over to me and kissed me on the top of my head and continued, “Have faith, darl’n. Trust me, and I promise you I will do everything in my power to come back to you. You can count on that.”
Tears welled up in my eyes as he pulled me into his arms. It was the best place in the world to be and I never wanted to let go. But I had to. He held me for a few minutes, then said, “I better go. I need to get out of here before the whole damn house wakes up.” He walked over to loft railing and nodded to Rebel. He kissed me, and then he was gone.
After Caden left I walked over to the bed, sat down, and cried. I missed him already. A few minutes went by and I realized that crying over his leaving was not helping matters. I had to play the grieving widow later today; I’d save my crying for then. As I got up I glanced over at the nightstand. There was a slip of paper there with my name on it. I reached over to grab it and opened it. It said:
I’d give anything to hold you close
To touch your hair, to kiss your lips
When you think of me and the mistakes I’ve made
Try to understand that I am just a man.
The man who will love you until the end of time.2
It wasn’t signed. I guessed he hadn’t wanted to leave any evidence. A lone tear escaped my eye and ran down my cheek. In that moment, it didn’t matter who he’d killed. It didn’t matter how he’d killed Mark. All that mattered was that I loved him and that I would always love him, no matter what. I prayed for his safe return.
Caden
Leaving Emma was one of the hardest things I’d ever had to do. I should have known better. I’d known seeing her last night was going to make it worse for both of us, but despite what my head was saying, my heart wasn’t hearing it. It was just another bed I’d made that I had to lie in. The only good thing about all of this was that it would push me to get done what I needed to get done.
Unfortunately, I really couldn’t do anything until after the club had my service. I wondered where they were with all of that. I needed to check in with Rebel later and find out. Now that Hawk was aware that Rebel knew, Hawk could keep Rebel informed. I only wanted one point of contact, it was cleaner that way.
So, for now, I just needed to lay low and watch the Satans.
Chapter 12
Rebel
Ice came downstairs, grabbed some coffee, and headed toward the door. “Thanks, man. Take care of our girls,” he said as he approached the door.
“Sure thing, boss,” I replied. Laughing to myself, I added, “Hey man, have fun driving that cage.”
“Fuck you, Rebel! I’ll be in touch.” With those words, he was out the door. My president was always a ray of sunshine. But there wasn’t any other person that I trusted to keep the club whole.
A few minutes after Ice left, Emma came downstairs. I could tell she had been crying and thought perhaps she needed some cheering up. “Good morning, Rebel,” Emma said. “Did you sleep well?” she asked.
“I sure did.
Did you sleep well?” I asked her teasingly, betting she hadn’t gotten much sleep at all. She blushed—I knew that would get her.
“You just never mind how I slept, or I’m gonna tell on you!”
“Who you gonna tell?” I asked, baiting her.
Smugly, she replied, “I’m gonna tell my big badass biker old man—who, I might add, happens to be your president. That’s who!”
I laughed. “Look at you, already playing the old lady card. Good girl, you learn quick,” I replied. Then I added, “Don’t forget that, either. There may come a day when you will need to play that card.” She smiled and walked over to the coffee pot, poured herself some coffee, got some cream from the fridge, and then walked over to the bar and plopped herself onto a stool. That girl always put more cream in her coffee than actual coffee. It was disgusting.
“Are the girls up yet?”
I shook my head. “Naw, this is way too fuckin’ early for Ari. That girl will sleep until noon if you let her. Honey will most likely be up in about an hour.” I looked at my watch. “Her rise-and-shine time is usually 7 am.”
“Wow, you know a lot about those two,” she said, sounding surprised.
“What can I say? I know things.”
We sat there in silence for a while. I was checking out the sports page of the paper and Emma was just sitting and staring off into space. After several minutes, I started to worry about her. It was obvious how much she cared for Ice, and I knew she had to be worried sick about him. “You ok, sweetheart?” I asked.
She looked over at me and smiled. “Yeah, I’m ok. Just worrying about what happens next.” She paused momentarily and then added, “I’m not sure I can do this, Rebel. Pretending he is dead is going to be a lot harder than I thought. Do you know how all this going to play out?”
