What God Brings Together

by Melissa Wardwell

  “Got it little sister. Man it is good to hug you!” He squeezed her a little tighter, winced as they both forgot for a moment of his injury, and then let her go. She patted him on the back as she walked past him while he walked in the house to find Emma. He didn’t have to look for long she was sitting on her lounge chair in the corner of the room. “Is it safe to come in?” She was looking out the window, wondering if it was alright to let him in, and not just into her house.

  She heard his boots walk across the floor in her direction. If she was honest with herself, she would realize that she was afraid to look at him. She was afraid of the flood of emotion that would follow looking at the man that had held her heart since they were kids. She knew that he now stood next to her chair. She could feel his eyes on her, waiting, pleading for her to respond to him. Still looking out the window, she finally decided to say something. “Have a seat.” She had not expected him to sit at her feet on the chair, but that is where he chose to sit.

  “Honey, talk to me.”

  She whipped her head around, and stared him down. She took a deep breath to calm herself a bit and then let him have it.

  “You are not to use any terms of endearment with me until we figure this out. I am not your ‘Honey’! I am not anything to you right now besides the mother of your children. Is that clear?” She would not tell him that it felt good to hear him call her that again. To hear that word being directed at her from his lips was beautiful. She had to keep up the act until she had more answers. But she was finding it hard to keep up the act. He was sitting so close and was looking at her with all the love in the world in his eyes. She could see that he wanted her to love him and accept him again. She couldn’t, not yet at least.

  “Yes. No more pet names.”

  “Ryan. Tell me something, why?”

  “I could give you a list of excuses, or I can give you honesty.”

  “Honesty is preferred.”

  “Okay, shame. I was ashamed.”

  “Of what?”

  “My looks, my disabilities, the fact that I could no longer provide for you and the kids. I figured you could handle everything better without me mucking it all up with my injuries.”

  “You thought I could do it without you? Ryan, I was a mess. Do you know the hell you put me through?” Emma gave a cynical laugh, “No, of course you didn’t know. You weren’t here!” She yelled at him. She didn’t stop there. “Ryan, you almost killed me! Stephen pulled away from everyone. Aaron was so confused he would stand by your side of the bed in the middle of the night and continue to ask where you were. I was so stressed; I couldn’t feed our baby the way I was supposed to. Ann had to dress me and drag me from the house to feed me for a couple days after I got the divorce papers. Ryan! I was ready to die. You promised me forever, and you broke that promise.”

  There was silence. All they could hear was the hum of the fireplace. They stared at each other for what seemed like hours. The tension in the air was thick. Finally, Ryan broke the silence.

  “Do you forgive me, Emma?”

  She didn’t know. She looked down at her hands. She couldn’t look at him while she tried to figure it out. Her sister-in-law’s words came back to her. Be honest with him. “I don’t know Ryan. I want to. I also want to rewind the last eight years and keep you home from work. I want to go back and erase how harsh I was to you that day. But I can’’t, can I?”

  “No you can’t. We can’t erase any of it. I wish I could go back too, but I can’t. Now all we can do is move forward. So, how are we going to do that?”

  “I don’t know, but I do know, that I thank God this time wasn’t as serious as last time you were in the hospital.”

  She watched Ryan get nervous now. He looked down at her feet. She could tell he wanted to say something, but she wasn’t sure she wanted him to. The look of uneasiness in his eyes turned to a look that she only seen in their most private moments when they were married. It had been a long time since she had seen this look in his eyes, and she was not sure she was ready to see it again. She could feel it melt the wall that she had built around herself.

  “Ryan, I want you to be honest, but the look you are giving me...”

  He broke off her words by running his finger down the slope of the top of her foot. She could feel the air catch in her chest. He clearly remembered all the way he could get her to calm down and get out of her head. “Emma, the last three weeks, well four weeks now, have been amazing. I don’t want our time together to end just because you know the truth.” He looked up at her at that moment.

  “Ryan, I don’t think...”

  “Emma, stop thinking for a second and listen to what I am saying. I want us to be a family again. I still love you. I never stopped. I tried, God knows I tried but I can’t run from it anymore.” His voice was so quiet that she had to lean toward him to hear him. “Emma, I want to see us fix this. I want to love you again. So I ask you, do you forgive me?”

  She couldn’t think. Her emotions confused her. She wanted to lean over and wrap her arms around him and shout yes from the tree tops but she wasn’t a school girl anymore. She was an adult, a mother. She bowed her head and was looking at her hands again, but she could also feel him lightly stroking the tops of her feet. She sat there, enjoying the sensation of Ryan touching her again. Then the thought came to mind, What God has brought together, let no man tear apart. The peace that followed after that made her realize that she had her answer. It was a risk to let him back into her heart and she found that she was truly willing to let him in. She had just been so afraid to let him in that the real desire of her heart was being over shadowed.

  No more fear. Only love and forgiveness.

  With a deep breath, she leaned forward, and took his hand in hers. She looked up at him just in time to see the surprise in his eyes, and in the same hushed tone as he had been talking to her, said “Ryan, I can’t think or talk when you do that.” They smiled at each other in realization that he still had that effect on her.

  “I am glad. I want this to go in my favor.”

  He said this with a slight chuckle.

  Still smiling, she proceeded to try to put a sentence or two together. “Ryan, I do forgive you. I do still love you. Even when I was angry, I loved you.”

  An idea came to her mind. The thought made the butterflies in her stomach begin to dance, but she knew it was something she had to do.

  She shifted her body closer to his. She got a kick out of his look of surprise, yet again. Clearly he figured I would stay seated in one spot. Just you wait big guy, I am not done yet. She then reached her hand up toward the right side of his face. He flinched a bit. She hesitated just a little bit but then the palm of her hand found his cheek. The weight of it was feather light. “Emma? What are you doing?”

  Even though she was touching the side of his face that was scarred and rippled from the cuts and burns, it felt so good to touch him again.

  “Ryan, it is okay. I just need to touch you. It has been eight long years. I am realizing how much I have missed this. I need to be reminded of what you feel like. And I need to learn the feel of you now.”

  He leaned his head into her hand ever so slightly. It was like a fresh rain, washing all the hurt and pain away. He then reached up and did the same and put his hand on her cheek, and she leaned into his hand as well. “God I hate that we aren’t married, right now.”

  She gave him an understanding smile.

  “I won’t stay long. You have me feeling like a teenager again right now. In fact, the other night, watching the fierce ‘warrior princess’’ come out in you again brought back a lot of memories. They haven’t stopped since. So close and yet so far. That’s where we are right now.”

  “I know but we have to be careful. It would be so easy.”

  At that moment, Ryan bent his head forward so that their foreheads touched. “Emma?”

  “Yes.”

  “Can I kiss you?”

  “I wish you would.”

&n
bsp; Consent given, he placed his other hand on the other side of her face, winced from the sharp pain in his side, looked her in the eyes, and leaned in. He touched his lips to hers with a feather light touch. She could hear both of them inhale and then they both held their breath. It didn’t take long to remember how good it felt to kiss him. It had always been electric and nothing had changed. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he turned just enough so they could get a little closer. He then wrapped his arms around her and they held on to each other. That’s when the light and easy kissing became deeper and more intense. Their breathing increased and the old warmth of his passionate kisses washed over them. It would be so easy to forget that they were not married. But before she could reluctantly pull away, he did the same. Their foreheads met again and he let out a rush of air.

  “Oh sweetie, I guess I will have to leave sooner than planned. I am so glad we didn’t forget how to do that.” He placed his finger just under her chin and tilted her head up so she could look at him. “Now that I have you back in my life, I don’t want to let you go. Knowing that this monster before you doesn’t bother you, makes me hate wasting all those years. I should have trusted you and what we had. Please forgive me.”

  Emma could feel the pressure build behind her eyes until the dam broke and overflowed and ran down her cheeks. “Ryan, I told you, you are forgiven. Let’s just move forward.”

  Ryan kissed her again, but broke the kiss almost as quick as he had started it. “Mmmm, yeah I can’t keep doing that. Not until we decide on what to do next.” That brought out a little giggle.

  “Ryan, you promised me forever, I am going to hold you to it.”

  With a smile, he agreed. He kissed the tip of her nose and hesitantly walked to the door. “Is it safe for me to assume that we need to call Pastor Cross and go to the courthouse and file for that wonderful piece of paper in the next week?”

  “Maybe.” She gave him her cutest smile and a wink.

  He rushed back to her and took her in his arms. He winced in pain, again. “How about we wait until I heal?” She nodded through her laughter. He began to kiss her all over her face. It made her laugh hysterically with joy.

  “Baby I love you!!!!” he whispered as his lips hovered over hers.

  “I am never letting you go again” she replied.

  Epilogue

  The kids had their dad and she had her husband back. He had come to the house first thing in the morning for breakfast, helped get the kids off to school, and was there at the end of the day and stayed until bedtime. Sarah refused to leave his side. Aaron was saying “dad” every time he talked to Ryan. Stephen would sit as close to Ryan as possible when they watched TV on the couch. Emma had a hard time getting any alone time with him.

  Emma and Ryan married during the following Christmas Eve service at their church. Pastor Cross had insisted they go through marriage counseling again because there was so much that they had to confront before they should marry again. They didn’t want to go into their marriage again with so much hurt and pain hanging over them.

  The boys stood with Ryan and Sarah stood with Emma. It was a beautiful candlelight service that night and it was one no one would ever forget.

  Today was the ten-year anniversary of the accident that rocked their worlds and changed everything for Emma and Ryan and eighteen months since Ryan came back into their lives. As Emma stood at the sink doing dishes, she rubbed the small of her back to work out the kink. Just two more months and a new addition would be joining their family. She was glad they had decided to keep her house and sell his place. They were going to need the room.

  While she was rubbing her low back, she felt a big, strong hand touch the spot she was trying to ease and Ryan took over massaging her back. “Mmmm. That feels like heaven. You can stop that next year.”

  “How about in just a couple of months.”

  “Sounds good to me.”

  “Penny for your thoughts.”

  “Thinking about what today is. Thanking God for bringing it all back together.”

  “I am glad we followed His crumb trail.”

  “I am too. Of course, He made it pretty easy for the kids and I to come back to town. All doors but this one here were slammed shut.”

  “I am blessed to have you back in my life, Emma. I kick myself for being such a fool.”

  Emma turned around to face him, took both of his wrists and wrapped his arms around her so they could stand as close as her round belly would allow. She then placed her hand on both sides of his face, stroking his scarred side with her thumb.

  “Don’t ever, ever beat yourself up over that again. We are together, we are married again, the kids are happy, and...” she took one of his hands and placed it on her belly, “we are increasing our family. What more could we ask for? I am just happy to have you with me again.”

  “You’re right, God has truly blessed us. He never let us forget each other and He kept guiding us back to this place. I am so glad to have you and the kids back in my life. I am a blessed man.”

  He bent over to kiss her softly. At that moment, the kids walked into the kitchen. Emma and Ryan were not aware of having an audience until they heard the harmonizing sound of “EEEWWW!”

  Ryan pulled back with a chuckle, but did not let Emma out of his embrace. While they lovingly looked into each other’s eyes, Aaron took that moment to say, “Aren’t you two a little old for that?”

  Ryan wiggled his eye brows up and down as he looked at Emma with a devilish grin and replied, “Nothing wrong with a little kitchen fire, right dear?” Emma and Ryan broke out into laughter and kissed each other as another round of “Eeeewwww’s” rose up to the ceiling.

  God had brought back together what man had tried to pull apart and they were blessed for following His lead.