“You wouldn’t be feeling all sentimental if you were coming with us,” I mumbled.
Honestly, I don’t know where that came from. Delilah’s been the one begging Aiden to go on this trip with us, not me. I understand why he doesn’t want to go. But, at that moment, I just really wanted him there with me. It’s settling in that the only person I’ll be around constantly while I’m there is Delilah. Delilah’s cheery smile…her infectious laugh…her amused wonderment every time she sees or does something new. I don’t know how many times I can handle hearing, “Sunny, will you look at this? We didn’t have anything like this is Mt. Vernon!”
I sat up on the bed, ran my fingers through my hair, and sighed deeply. “Aiden, please?”
“Please what?” he answered.
“Please come with us.”
“I can’t. I have to finish therapy and help Joey and Roxy put together our tour.”
“What if Kim comes with us so you can continue your therapy? And Joey...what if he came too?”
“Sunny, I can’t ask people to just come to New Orleans on a whim.”
I wasn’t feeling rejected or neglected but I still flopped back onto the pillows and threw my arm over my eyes like a petulant teenager. Aiden started to move towards the bed but I didn’t want him to hug me or tell me everything’s going to be fine. I want him to come to New Orleans with us.
“I need you, Aiden.” My voice was so low that I could barely hear it.
“What?”
“I can’t do this by myself. I can’t sit alone in my hotel room every night thinking about what that bastard did to me. I can’t be around so much despair and sadness, with only Delilah’s happy-go-lucky ass to keep me company. I need you, my best friend, there. Please come with us.”
There was a moment of silence as my words registered. My mother has been saying this to him. Aunt Kat, even Roxy agreed that I shouldn’t be in New Orleans with just Delilah and the girl we’re building the house for. Tonya, I think her name is Tonya.
“Alright, I’ll go,” Aiden relented.
“You’ll go?” I asked, surprised that he relented so quickly.
“Yeah, I’ll come with you.”
“Thank you!” I cheered and hopped off bed and into Aiden’s arms. Laughing, we fell back onto the bed.
“What’s this?” Aiden asked.
I followed his eyes to the hem of my t-shirt where it had risen slightly. Peeking out from the waistband of my shorts was a hint of my guitar tattoo. Shit!
Quickly, I pulled down my t-shirt but it was too late. I wasn’t ready to reveal my tattoo to the man the tat is about. My compulsive ink was meant to deliver a message to Xavier, the message that Aiden will always be a part of my life and he could retract his ultimatum. I believe he got the message. However, I don’t know what Aiden will think and that’s a door we were supposed to have left closed five years ago.
“You got another tattoo? Show it to me.”
“No, it’s private.”
“Come on! How private can a tattoo on your hip be? Let me see.”
Aiden tugged at my shirt. I wiggled away but he grabbed at my arm.
“Come on! Let me see.”
“Leave me alone!”
I managed to get away by crawling across the California king but Aiden was much faster. He grabbed the back of my t-shirt and pinned me down on the bed.
“Show me the tattoo.”
I wiggled underneath him, legs flailing as I attempted to free myself from his wrestler’s grip.
“Stop,” he laughed. “You’re not getting up until you show me.”
“Let me up now, Aiden. I’m serious.”
“I’m serious too.
Aiden may not look it, but his wiry frame is quite strong. He managed to pin both of my wrists on the bed with one hand. He reached down with the other hand and slid down the waistband of my shorts, revealing the tattoo.
“Wow,” he said in an awed and hushed tone. “Those are my guitars. You did that for me?”
His piercing state, gentle fingers as he touched my tattoo, and the relaxed pose of his body hovering over mine caused every nerve ending in my body to ignite at the same time, especially when Aiden slid my waistband down further and brushed his lips across the tat.
“Aiden...” I whispered when he kissed my hip again then stared at me for a second.
He slowly lifted the fitted V-neck tee and threw it on the floor. When I saw what he’d done, my breath caught in my throat and my words were silent. He might as well have got I ♥ Sunny branded on his pec because that’s exactly what the black sun tatted over his heart stood for. A perfect representation of me, his best friend, his first black friend, his Sunny…his number one girl.
A single tear rolled down my cheek as I traced the tattoo. Aiden and I are friends by definition only. Our bond is stronger than that. Aiden and I are connected, brought together by something cosmic. The universe wants us together. The proof is right there on his chest and my hip.
“Beautiful,” I whispered.
“It’s you.”
“I know.”
Ever so gently, he ran his fingers along my hip. “This is me.”
Aiden lowered his head and placed the softest, most endearing kiss on my forehead. We were mere inches away from each other but there were no alarms sounding in my head. No voice in my head telling me that listening to my body was wrong. Even as I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him down until he was lying between my legs, inhibition never made an appearance.
“You’re married,” I whispered.
Aiden nuzzled my neck and trailed his lips along my collarbone. “My wife is dead.”
“You shouldn’t say things like that.”
“Neither should you,” he told replied and straightened up. “Especially when I’ve got you in such a compromising position.”
“Are you going to take advantage of me, Aiden?”
“Yup.” He slid his hands under my shorts and slid them down.
When our bodies connected, skin-to-skin, mouth-to-mouth, soul to soul, I drifted to another plane. I felt no pain, no fear, not hurt…just pleasure, pure unadulterated and untainted pleasure. This was what I needed.
The rhythm of our sex, Aiden’s breathless appreciation of my body, the heat of our bodies mixing with the gentle swirl of cool air from the ceiling fan…in that moment, I felt everything that I’d been missing. Adored, beautiful, needed…wanted.
We made love for what seemed like hours. Aiden brought me to the edge and back repeatedly until there was no more holding back. I grabbed his head and kissed him long and slow as lightening coursed through my body and stars danced before my eyes.
“Oh God,” I breathed.
Aiden kissed my neck, my forehead, my shoulders, and my breasts as I came, speaking my name with each kiss.
“That’s right, baby. Come for me.”
In one smooth motion, Aiden replaced his penis with his tongue and lapped at my center until I was no longer making any sounds…my mouth was just moving but words, especially coherent words, failed me. Then he slid back inside me and gripped the pillows behind me. I held him against and whispered his name while he trembled and I felt a stream of his heat erupt inside me.
Chapter 9: Picking up the Pieces
Two Months Later
I woke up on our last day in New Orleans the same way I’ve woken up every morning since we’ve been here, snuggled in Aiden’s arms.
I have no idea what’s happening here. I’m so far in over my head that I can’t even begin to figure out how to get out of this mess that I’ve put us in.
I went to Atlanta thinking that I was going to move right into my townhouse, get settled in, and try to celebrate Christmas with my family without the constant reminder that December 25th was supposed to be my wedding day. It’s apparent that the man upstairs is having a great laugh at my expense because none of my plans ever work out like I want them to.
My furniture hadn’t arrived. The contractor I’d hired to insta
ll another closet and to repaint the entire unit was delayed. I didn’t want to stay with my parents. My mother was still devastated that her only child was forced to call off her wedding, especially since it was going to be the most talked about wedding Atlanta has ever seen, therefore staying in her house was out of the question. I had my own trauma to deal with. I couldn’t deal with Peaches’s too. I called Aiden and asked to stay with him for a week.
That week turned into two. The next thing I know, he was heading to New Orleans with me and Delilah.
Honestly, I didn’t mean to have sex with him. He’s just here and the only person I can stand being around right now. He’s the only person that doesn’t keep hounding me with questions about Xavier. I don’t want to be alone but I don’t want to be around anyone else except him. At this point, Aiden is the only person in my life that I can tolerate.
Everyone is just so fucking happy. I thought coming to New Orleans would take my mind off my problems because the people here have bigger problems than someone cheating on them. Working every day to rebuild houses was helping but being in Louisiana again was a harsh reminder of Xavier’s family. The idea that I might run into him or a member of his family hovered over me like a storm cloud.
Aiden has been here every day doing his very best to make me feel better. It’s not just about the sex. His presence comforts me. I didn’t plan on having sex with Aiden. It sort of just happened but since that night in Atlanta, I haven’t been able to not do it. It’s like a drug.
For that moment while we’re together intimately, I’m not thinking about Xavier. I’m not wondering if I did the right thing by leaving. I’m not hurting. I don’t feel like I’m dying. When we’re together like that, I feel like Sunny. I feel normal instead of this brokenhearted shell of the woman I was after I walked in on my fiancé fucking another woman.
That’s all I want to feel and if being with Aiden here in New Orleans can get me back to that place, then so be it. I just need to be over Xavier and normal when I go back to Atlanta. I’ve spent months wallowing in my grief, mourning my broken engagement, and submerged in self-pity. It’s about time I emerge from this suffocating cocoon I’ve made and become a much stronger and more determined butterfly. I’m ready and I only have my best friend to thank for that.
I rolled over in Aiden’s arms and met his eyes staring at me.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“You’re so beautiful in the morning.”
“Thank you. So, are you and everybody else ready for tonight?”
“Yeah,” he said. His eyes sparkled like diamonds.
He’s so excited about the benefit concert he put together. I don’t blame him. He has every right to be excited and proud. I’m proud of him. It isn’t often that Aiden puts his own desires to the side in order to do something completely unselfish for someone else, especially strangers. Delilah and I came down here to help families rebuild their lives but Aiden saw an opportunity to rebuild something that has made this city great, a piece of its essence, the New Orleans music scene, and he’s starting with this benefit concert. Being here for these two months has changed my friend for the better.
“It’s going to be perfect,” I assured him as I sat up and prepared to go back to my own room. “You got this, baby boy.”
***
“You’re sleeping with him!” Daniela shrieked in my ear as I was packing my last suitcase. We are leaving in a few hours and this thing with Aiden has taken a turn for the worse. I have to talk to someone and Daniela is the only one who can offer an objective opinion.
“Yes, Daniela. I’ve been sleeping with him since we got here. That’s not the point. Please help me understand why this man is acting like we’re in a relationship,” I whined. “I can’t do this with Aiden.”
“How do you get yourself in these messes?” Daniela wondered. “First, you tell your man that nothing is going on between the two of you. Then, as soon as Xavier fucks up, you go hopping on Aiden’s dick. Sunny, I love you but you need to put your kitty on hiatus. She needs to take a leave of absence from this situation for real.”
“It’s not about sex,” I tried to explain. “It’s the release. It’s the feeling that I’m wanted, that I’m loved that I’ve gotten used to. But I never wanted to be with Aiden.”
“How do you know he wants to be with you? Has he said anything?”
“For one, he says he’s coming back to Atlanta so we can figure this out. Like, what the hell is this? What do we need to figure out? The last person I need living in Atlanta is Aiden. Our friendship works best if we’re in separate cities.”
“Y’all need a therapist. All you have to do is tell that man that you’re not ready for a relationship with him or anyone else. If he’s really your friend, he’ll respect that. Hell, he should already know that. And stop walking around New Orleans like Mr. and Mrs. Tyler. All that holding hands and romantic dinners is what got you fucked up in the first place.”
“That was not my doing!” I protested. “I told you that Aiden is on some other shit.”
“But your head can’t be so far up in the clouds that you just go along with it. The man isn’t even divorced yet, Sunny Rain. Separated is not divorced. You’ve been sleeping with a married man for the last two months and now you’re wondering why Ramey thinks you’ve been fucking her husband all this time? Come on, girl. Get it together. You should come back to New York.”
“That’s the last thing I’m going to do.”
“Then do what I said and leave that man alone. You and your guitar hero need a break. End whatever you’re doing before you get on that damn plane tonight. And make it clear that it’s over. Can you do that?”
“Yes, I can do that.”
“Good. Call me when you land.”
I hung up with Daniela and finished throwing my stuff into my last suitcase. After that, I climbed into bed and decided to take another nap. I know I have to face Aiden but not right now. I will soon but just not now.
I don’t know how long I was sleeping when I heard the door of my suite open then the empty side of my bed sunk in as it absorbed the weight of the person sitting on it. My eyes fluttered open when Aiden kissed my forehead.
“What?”
Aiden didn’t immediately answer so I closed my eyes again. “What, Aiden?”
“I’ve decided it go back to Los Angeles instead of coming back to Atlanta with you,” he replied.
I sat up on the bed and rubbed my eyes as what he said registered. Immediately, I was annoyed. This is the exact reason I spent a half hour venting to Daniela.
“You weren’t coming back with me anyway,” I said. “We’re not a couple, Aiden.”
“Huh?” Aiden was genuinely taken aback. “What do you mean?”
“You’ve been acting like we’re together since we got here. But we’re not. I’m not your girlfriend so please stop with the sentimental bullshit. I’m surprised you’re just now figuring out that you need to go back home.”
“How can you say that?”
“What’s really changed, Aiden?” I asked. “You’re still the same guy and I’m still the same girl. We agreed to be friends. Sex doesn’t change that. We made that mistake before, remember.”
“Do you remember what I told you when I was in the hospital?” he asked. “I’m through pretending with you.”
Of course I remember every word he spoke when he finally woke up, before his wife came parading into the room. I can’t deal with his feelings, these manufactured feelings of love that he thinks he has. The love we have for each other is insurmountable but it’s not romantic. What we’ve been doing here isn’t romance. It’s just sex. It has to be. That’s all it can be.
“I remember. But I also remember that we agreed that we’re better off being friends. That’s just how I want to keep it, Aiden. Don’t be mad. I can’t deal with everything I’m going through and you being mad at me too. I’m just not able to do this with you, Aiden. I need a friend, not another boyfr
iend. Can you do that? Can you just be my friend? My best friend who lives in Los Angeles and we forget about all of this?”
“Fine, Sunny. I’ll do whatever you need me to. That’s what friends do, right?”
The way he slunk out of my suite let me know that he isn’t mad. He’s hurt and I didn’t want that to happen. That’s the last thing I wanted to happen but I can’t be what he wants. I’ll never be what Aiden wants.
***
A month after I returned home, I knew something was wrong with me physically. My head was still clouded with thoughts of Xavier and my heart still hurt but I was getting better. I wasn’t in physical pain and when I looked in the mirror, everything appeared normal but something just felt off.
I increased my daily vitamin intake and started seriously watching what I ate. I spent so much time in New Orleans stuffing my face with beignets, etouffee, jambalaya, gumbo, and whatever else anyone would feed me. I even did a three-day juice cleanse. I felt a little better but not much.
Then I checked the My Days app on my phone.
45 days late
Those words felt like a knife in the gut. My hands were shaking and my vision was so blurry that I ended up walking to the nearest drug store by my house because driving seemed impossible. I bought at least one of every brand of pregnancy test on the shelf.
Sitting on my bedroom floor with seven pee sticks in a straight line in front of me, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Seven tests that all displayed the same results.
A plus sign
Two pink lines
Two blue lines
One line
And the kicker...pregnant
I’m having a baby and I haven’t seen Xavier in four months. I’m having a baby and I don’t need Maury to tell me that Xavier is not the father. That only means...
I’m having Aiden Tyler’s child.
I’m pregnant by my best friend.
Oh Lord, I have no idea what the hell I’m going to do.
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Sunny's Song (Friends Lovers or Nothing Book 2) Page 8
