by C. M. Albert
“Yeah, you will.”
When he was done saying goodbye to Liv, he scratched Stitch’s favorite spot behind his ear and was almost out the door when I remembered to mention the house.
“Hold up,” I said, making my way over to him.
He was already three steps down when he turned. His hair was blonder in the sunlight, making him look even more like the Greek god we always teased him to be. I stood in the frame with the door ajar, my hand resting on the same glass pane I’d had to replace near the end of last summer when I let my jealousy over him get the best of me during a fight with Liv. I’d smacked my hand against the doorframe in frustration, hitting the small square windowpane instead and shattering it. It was the argument that sent Olivia running to Brighton for comfort, and ended with them sleeping together alone, without me.
At the time, it felt like my life was over.
It’s funny how that single moment, a lie that had nearly shattered our marriage, ended up exposing the greatest truth of all—Brighton Kerrington was destined to be in our lives.
Which made it easy for me to ask him this. “We want you to live here with us. Permanently.”
“Aren’t I already? Or is my lease up?”
“You’re funny, Kerrington.” I took a step down. “But no more of this back-and-forth bullshit. We want you forever. No excuses. You belong here, with us.”
“What are you saying?” he asked, running his tongue over his bottom lip, swollen and red from our kiss and the chafe of my beard.
“I’m saying I love the fuck out of you. Liv does, too. The baby’s about to be here. Your family is here now—not over there. We want you to move home, to be with us,” I said, my voice catching. “Sell your house. Maybe Becca could buy it—then we could have Baby T’s cousins right next door. Either way, just move in with us already.”
I held my breath. For some reason I was nervous he’d say no. That he wasn’t ready. My biggest fear used to be losing Olivia. Now, it was losing her other husband from our lives. The man I now called mine, too.
He chuckled, taking a quick step back up to my level. “You had me at ‘we want you forever.’”
“Smartass.” It didn’t stop me from claiming his mouth one last time. “So, is that a yes?”
“Yeah,” he said, sounding relieved. “I was scared things would change once the baby came. That you’d change your mind and not want me in the picture anymore. It’d be so much easier for you and Liv if I weren’t around to complicate things. It just got in my head, I guess. So, I wanted to wait until after the baby was born before even considering selling.”
I fisted his shirt and pulled him back to my mouth, searing him, leaving him with no room to doubt. “When I said forever, I meant forever. Just like Olivia did when she said her vows on Christmas Eve. You’re stuck with us, Kerrington,” I said, swiping my tongue over his lip one last time.
“By the way, your sister’s here.”
Brighton laughed, then bound down the stairs to where Becca waited in the driveway. She waved, so I waved back. I had a fleeting image of him bounding down the steps of his uncle’s house the first time we met. Remembered the way he waved to me before turning the corner in his pickup. Even then, I’d known Kerrington was going to be trouble.
“Did he say yes?” Liv called from her perch on the bench swing.
I nodded, wishing he wouldn’t go. But I never took my eyes off his as he got in the car. The last image I had of him before turning back to Olivia was that brighter-than-life smile—the one that somehow changed us both.
It was seared into my brain, even as I took Livy’s hand and led her upstairs to get back into bed.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Ryan
“ARE YOU SURE you really want to go for that run?” Olivia teased, tempting me from bed. I’d already dressed and laced up my sneakers, double-checking my new watch to make sure the battery was charged. Olivia was kneeling on the bed in nothing more than my ratty old SU T-shirt. The collar was fraying with age, but it was her favorite of mine to steal. She claimed it was the softest one, but I also knew it was because I’d worn it the first time I told her I loved her.
I’d taken her to my favorite place—the Hole. When I was a kid, we spent our summers camping and hiking. Everyone in the area knew about the reservoir, and before long, me and my sister were flinging ourselves over the edge, too. It scared our poor parents half to death. When I got older, it became a favorite place to hang out and drink with friends on the weekends—which I no longer recommended and would ground Baby T for life if I ever caught her doing that! By the time I met Liv, I’d been jumping off the cliff for over twenty years. I expected her to be scared like most women I’d brought there over the years.
Olivia and I were dating a few months before going, and I already knew I was in love. And not just in love. But in love.
“Do you remember the first time I brought you to the Hole?” I asked, feeling sentimental.
She grinned, tugging the shirt away from her body and showing it to me like, duh. “Of course, I do. It was the day you told me you loved me.”
“It was the first day I told you, but not the first day I loved you. I’d already fallen head over heels by then. And then I go asking you to hurl yourself off the side of a cliff, to trust me just because I said it was safe.”
She ran her hand along my bearded cheek, and I leaned in, closing my eyes. As long as I lived, I would never be able to get enough of my wife.
“I never once felt unsafe with you, Ryan. It’s why I fell in love with you. My birth parents gave me up. Then my real parents died. Instead of seeing my damage and being afraid of it, you ran in, guns blazing, ready to fight my demons with me. You were always my hero in our story.”
“Even now?”
“Especially now.”
She leaned forward and peppered me with kisses. I inhaled her fresh citrus smell mixed with the afterglow of our lovemaking. It was a deadly combination and almost had me second-guessing my run.
“We had some good times, didn’t we, Liv?”
“We did. And we’ll have so many more. I can’t wait till Baby T is old enough to go to the Hole. I can’t wait to teach her how to fly.”
“You’ll be the best teacher, Liv. And the best mom. You’ve always been my safe place to land. I know you will be for our kids, too.”
“Have I been, though? Because this past year doesn’t feel like it. Without even meaning to, I left you to hang out to dry on your own after Laelynn died. I realize now how self-centered I was not to notice how much you were hurting, too. I wasn’t your safe place, Ryan. Because I couldn’t even hold myself afloat. I regret that every day.”
“I understood, Olivia. I never held it against you. My god, I just wanted to help make all your pain go away so you could be happy again. Not for my sake, but for yours. The world needs Olivia North Wells healthy so she can show up and be a safe place for others to land. And you have me and Brighton in case the burden ever gets too much to carry on your own again. That’s one of the benefits of this whole thing that brings me peace at night.”
“Which part?”
“Just knowing that no matter what, you will always have someone to love you. You won’t ever have to feel alone again like you did when your parents died. You will be surrounded by love every single day. When one of us is flailing, we each have more support to buoy us back up.”
“I still don’t know how I got so lucky,” she sighed.
“I think we all did.”
She leaned in for a kiss again, making me triple-guess my need for exercise. “Hey, before I go, I want to run something by you.”
“Shoot away,” she said.
“I know we haven’t decided on the baby’s first name yet, but I was thinking . . . what if we gave her the middle name Samantha, in memory of Sam? Do you think Brighton would like that, or would it make him too sad?”
A sentimental half-smile curved Olivia’s lips up as she looked at me with those dam
n blue eyes of hers. “I love it. I think he will, too. Don’t you?”
I nodded. Baby T would have our last name, that much was already decided. It just made sense with Olivia’s last name being Wells, too—besides other obvious reasons. We hadn’t worked everything else out just yet, but we had our whole lives to do that. We’d cross each bridge and hard decision as it came. Together. All three of us.
“You’re an amazing man, Ryan Wells. Do you have any idea how much I love you?”
“I could use a refresher later,” I teased.
“I’ll be waiting.”
I kissed her one last time on the nose and brushed her hair from her eyes. We were forehead to forehead, and a wave of nausea and melancholy washed over me. I didn’t want to leave her.
“Go!” she insisted. “I promise I’m not going anywhere. You’ll be back before you know it. Besides, I may need a nap while you’re gone. You know how to tire a girl out in bed, Mr. Wells.”
“Fine! I do need the miles. Get some rest. You’re gonna need it for later. Brighton’s not working tonight, and I’m already ready for round two. Or was it three today? Four?”
She laughed, sitting back on the bed. “Go! You’re incorrigible.”
“But you love it,” I said, backing out of the room. “You love every little thing about me.”
“More than you know,” she said, blowing me a kiss. “But don’t let it go to your head!” she hollered after me as I made my way down the stairs.
It was much warmer now that the sun had time to warm the day. I checked my watch. It said 52 degrees. I wouldn’t need a hat today. I jogged a mile to get out of our neighborhood and warm up, then stopped in a grocery store parking lot to stretch like I always did. It was going to be a long run. After stretching, I headed out, making my way along side streets to avoid traffic. I glanced down to check my stats and to set my watch to log the run. Lately, my heart rate had been a little on the higher side, so it was important to know what I was starting with before I increased my exertion. Looking down while I was running made me a little dizzy and I didn’t want to eat asphalt today, so I made a mental note and got back in the zone. Stiffness gave way as the miles wore on, and I focused on my breathing so I wouldn’t blow myself out. It was all about pacing so you had the endurance to finish, even if it meant slowing things down periodically. If I pushed my exertion too hard, I’d get winded and end up having to walk home, and I didn’t want to do that. I was maintaining a consistent ten-minute pace, which was slower than normal, but that didn’t surprise me either because of how tired I was lately. I’d made an appointment with my primary care physician for next week just to make sure it wasn’t something I should worry about. The last thing I wanted was to cause Liv any stress these last few weeks of her pregnancy.
Fuck! I stumbled, having to bend over and take a series of deep breaths. A pain shot through my chest like a knife, causing my heart rate to accelerate. My new watched beeped, and I looked down at the notification that popped up. It warned me that my heart rate was too high. No shit, Sherlock. I’d pushed it too hard.
I did a few rounds of deep breathing, even though the crushing weight wouldn’t go away. It was like heartburn but a million times worse. I was almost done with my run anyway and was only a few miles from home, so I slowed to a walking pace and headed in that direction.
When another pain tore through me, I started to worry. I made my way into a convenience store to grab a bottle of water and get something salty to eat just in case. I’d had things happen like this to me in the past on long runs.
As I was walking from the drink cooler to the front of the store, my heart did this weird fluttering thing that made me feel it all the way up in my neck. Whoa. I was debating whether to call Olivia for a ride home when, of all people, I spotted Kimber rounding the corner. There was no place to hide in this small store.
“Ryan! It’s been forever. I’ve been trying to get a hold of you. Have you been avoiding my calls for some reason?”
I didn’t have the time or patience for this. My watch beeped and I glanced down. It was alerting me of my changing heart rate again. Only this time, it was probably my company causing it. “Just staying busy. The baby’s due next month, so we have our hands full getting ready for it.”
“Oh, I bet you do!” she said, a little too gleefully. “Look, I know it’s none of my business, but it’s pretty clear what’s going on over there on your street. I just want to warn you to be careful. You know how the school is. A scandal is the last thing they need right now.”
“And how exactly is my marriage a scandal to anyone, Kimber? What happens privately in my home is my business, just as what happens in your home is your business. Though, from everything I’ve heard, the things happening with Mr. Shanahan seem to be outside your home, and they aren’t so private, are they?”
Her face flushed, and she grew uncharacteristically quiet before she lashed out at me. “This has nothing to do with my husband, Ryan. He’s a good man, and we have nothing to hide. Unlike you.” She dropped her voice an octave. “I saw that man kiss you, Ryan. And I also saw him kiss Olivia, too. And they were sneaking out of his house early one morning with yesterday’s wrinkled clothes on and bed head, no less. I don’t know what in the world is going on over there, but it does have me thinking. I mean, I’m worried about you.”
I was so angry I could scream. She cared about no one other than herself. She wasn’t fooling anyone. And I didn’t have time for this. I started to brush by her, no longer caring about social etiquette, when she asked, “Are you even sure you’re the father of Olivia’s baby, Ryan? You should know I’m only asking as a concerned friend.”
I felt another flutter. Then a deep ache filled my chest, like someone punched me from the inside. Fuck. It was so strong I almost doubled over. I needed to pay for my shit and get to the parking lot so I could call Olivia. I’d have her pick me up so I could go home and nap. Maybe I was more dehydrated than I thought, and my electrolytes were way off. Better safe than sorry.
I knew I needed to get out of dodge, but first, I was ending this charade of civility with my coworker once and for all. “You have nothing to worry about, Kimber. We’re all just friends. New York was harmless fun, so drop it. My personal business is exactly that. Personal.” My arms had been tingly from coming in out of the cold into the overly warm store, but now I was starting to worry that wasn’t the only reason why. And it hadn’t been that cold to begin with. My heart rate increased as my concern rose.
I leveled Kimber with my gaze. “This is the last time I will ever say this to you, Kimber. It’s unbecoming and unprofessional for you to have such a profound interest in my love life. It’s completely inappropriate to be constantly harassing me in and out of work about my sex life and my marriage. Don’t make me file a formal complaint with the university because I will. That’s my next step if you don’t drop this. Are we clear?”
She squared her shoulders, and I watched as her jaw set hard, her nostrils flaring as she tried to swallow her anger. Yeah, she didn’t like to be called out on her shit. Too bad.
“Crystal clear. However, it would be a shame if the school received an anonymous tip on their hotline about one of the darlings on their faculty.” She ditched any preamble and went straight for the jugular. “You and your kind sicken me, Ryan.”
I almost laughed. If she was more worried about my kiss with Brighton or my kink for being in an open marriage than she was about losing her career, she deserved everything that was coming to her.
“Bring it, Kimber,” I said leaning in closer to her. The sudden movement made me sway. “You come after me and my family, making these nasty threats, I won’t hesitate to take you down. No one and nothing comes between me and the people I love.”
I turned to walk away, dropping the items I had in my hand on a nearby shelf. My arm felt like it was going from tingly to outright numb, and my neck and shoulders ached now, too. What in the world? My watch beeped again.
I kne
w I needed to call Liv, but now I was starting to wonder if I needed to call an ambulance as well. I glanced down to see how high my heart rate was, and I felt like I was going to throw up. The dizziness got worse, and I could only vaguely process the new alert. It was too long to read but the first part sounded bad: Your heart rate has shown signs of an irregular rhythm, suggestive of atrial fibrillation. If you have not been diagnosed with AFib by a physician—
Kimber’s shrill voice faded into the background. The aisle started to blur as black seeped into my peripheral vision. Before I could understand what was happening, my body gave out on me, collapsing. I reached for the shelf in front of me and couldn’t quite catch myself. Instead, I heard cans tumbling off the shelf and rolling away on the slick linoleum floor as I started to fall. Everything felt as if it was happening in slow motion.
Then, what felt like a lightning bolt shot through my chest, and an iron grip closed around my heart.
The last thing I thought of was—
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Olivia
MY BOOK NO longer held my interest because I’d been lying around in bed too long and my back was starting to hurt. I showered and was about to get dressed before deciding I needed a small project to keep my hands and mind busy over these last few weeks. I looked in my closet to pick out something to wear when I realized how cluttered it was. Ryan and Brighton would kill me if I did anything too strenuous. But I could certainly sort through my wardrobe and donate a few pieces I no longer wore.
I put on music and started going through my clothes, tossing the ones I no longer wanted into a pile on the bed. I was having so much fun I didn’t even realize more than an hour had flown by. I stretched my arms above my head, my shirt riding up over my round belly. Just for fun I’d put on an old T-shirt that was a gag gift from a sorority sister. It was a still picture from the Twilight movie of Bella riding on Edward’s back through the woods. I looked in the mirror and giggled. The shirt was too small now, and it said: “This is my ride or die . . . and he sparkles!”
