“We’re going to need to run you through some training, quickly,” I said. “What about the team?”
“The dwarfs and humans here assembled are retainers of your ‘household’ for the purposes of this parole,” Fields said. “Speaking of which, aren’t you married?”
“Jesse’s gone plane-walking again,” Sola said with a wry look. “He still lives, however.”
“Which brings us to the length of the parole,” Fields said. “You’re what, forty?”
“Yes. If you discount the one hundred and six years I spent in the Shadow Lands before rescue,” I said.
“For the purposes of Tatsuo’s parole, it’s the forty years that count. The parole and the document that make it binding are in effect until such time as you or your heirs and assigns release Tatsuo, or you or your heirs and assigns break the terms of the agreement.”
“Well, as Jesse says, that might not take too long, as we’re in a dangerous profession.”
“Yes. In the case of you dying without your husband being present on this plane, or you both dying before releasing Tatsuo, since you have no children or other heirs currently, her parole then goes to the hands of the person or persons who effected capture in your name…”
Fred’s head snapped up. “Last thing I need at this point in my life is a dragon who thinks Valspeak is cute.”
“Gag me with a spoon! Seriously, as if I’d want to hang out with a grody to the max hairy little bastard like you. After all, a girl has to have her standards.”
Fred laughed. “At least we understand each other. I take it you’ll do your best to keep Diindiisi alive, then.”
“Fer shur, totally,” Tatsuo replied.
“If I may?” Fields interjected.
“Totally,” Fred replied.
Sola shook his head, while everyone else chuckled.
“You are allowed to ask Tatsuo about her previous employment. However, there are standards that must be met to allow her to save face with other dragons.”
“Meaning?” I asked.
“Page thirty-two lays out the minimal requirements under ancient dragon law,” Fields supplied.
“Before you get there,” Tatsuo said, “I’d like to say that those are the minimum standards. You can be less than enthusiastic in your applications of those standards, however, and I won’t complain.”
Everyone turned to page thirty-two of the document.
Padgett let out a low whistle. “You know, if you don’t want to do this personally, Diindiisi, I know a couple of guys who’d probably do it for bragging rights.”
“Those rules were codified into dragon behavior in the medieval era,” Fields said. “That kind of torture was used on humans, as well, to ensure they were giving proper testimony.”
“I take it,” I said, looking at the list of torture implements listed, some of which I had never even heard of, “that asking for the information nicely isn’t an option?”
“Only if you want to put Tatsuo’s life in danger with other dragons and break her parole agreement by your actions,” Fields replied. “As her legal representative, if asked, I have to witness and report that you tortured her for the information.”
“Dragon society must be strange,” Singh said.
Tatsuo turned to look at him. “Don’t get me started. Have you ever read a description of the founding mother of all dragon kind? Sure, the D&D nerds combined her legend with that of the hydra, but…”
“She’s got an udder,” Hiebert said.
“What?”
“Udder. Like on a cow,” he replied.
“How would you know that for sure?” Tatsuo asked.
“I’ve seen it. I’ve been closer to it than I ever thought would be enjoyable, for that matter,” Hiebert replied.
“Oh, yeah, like sure you have,” Tatsuo replied with an indulgent smile. “The Mother hasn’t been on Earth since, like, Marduk, cursed and honored be his name, killed her, like, five thousand years ago, you know?”
“I drove a Humvee up under her so Jesse could shoot off her foot with a fifty-caliber machine gun while we were trapped in the Shadow Lands,” Hiebert replied, rolling up his left sleeve. “I got this scar when I burned my arm on the hot action of the gun pulling Jesse out of the turret after Tiamat fled.”
Tatsuo’s eye widened impossibly for a human. At the last minute, she got her fear and transformation under control, staying in human form, turning to where I sat at the table.
“Who are you people?”
I stood and bowed. “I am, in the words of my people, Blue Bird that brings the Dawn, a woman covered all over in the power of her people, and the wife of Jesse Salazar, Tiamat-slayer. These are, to use the terms we have been discussing, Jesse’s retainers, and mine.”
Tatsuo sank from her chair, kneeling and bowing in my direction.
“I apologize, oh wife of the Mother-slayer, and beg that I be allowed to expiate my failures in your service.”
“Rise, child, and freely join the service of equals, not slaves, as your ultimate mother and her husband would keep you and others like you.”
* * * * *
Chapter 11 – Jesse
Billy and I sat around, me drinking, and him BSing until I was mildly drunk. Billy, excellent host that he was, made sure I made it to bed before going to sleep himself. I don’t really know what we were talking about there at the end—I think I was telling him some story about Iraq.
I was in the good zone of sleep—you know, when the dreams start and things are going fine—when Mel woke me up.
“Jesse, get dressed,” she said, kicking the foot of the bed.
“I’ve had nightmares that started this way,” I said, rolling out of bed and grabbing my M3.
“Set the gun down and put your clothes on.”
I was wearing shorts, but I pulled on my trousers and shirt before pausing.
“Wait, what are you doing here?”
“Something came up. We’ve got to move you.”
“Why?” I asked, putting on the frog pattern jacket and body armor.
“Apuulluunideeszu somehow got permission to search everyone’s home zones,” she replied. “He’s done mine, so we’re moving you there.”
“Roger that,” I said, stuffing my loose crap into my ruck before zipping it shut.
“William.”
The house shook under the force of the voice.
“Shit,” Mel said, dashing out of the room. “Move your ass, Jesse!”
“I’m right behind you,” I said as something slammed through the front door.
I slid to a halt, looking at a figure in a red tunic, scale mail, and a crested helm. He was trying to get his shield clear of the ruin of the front door when I shot him.
“Damnit, Jesse we don’t have time for you to kill everyone!” Mel shouted from the kitchen. “Move!”
She dashed out the back door, and I followed her, only to pull up short as she stopped on the porch.
“What the fuck, Mel? I almost ran you over.”
“I’m sorry, Jesse,” she said pointing.
Billy and Iulius stood, arms raised above their heads, halfway to the garage. Someone I assumed was Apuulluunideeszu from the robes and beard stood on the roof of the garage. Coiled around it was a seven-headed snake.
“Ah, you join us, mortal,” Apuulluunideeszu said.
“My understanding is you’re just as mortal, Sneezy,” I replied, stepping down from the porch. With each step, my gear returned to normal.
One each of the snake’s heads watched Billy and Iulius, two watched Mel on the porch, and the remaining three watched me.
I love being the center of attention. No, really.
“I see why Abzu wants your head,” Apuulluunideeszu replied.
“You think it’s because of my winning personality, Sneezy? I think it’s because I killed his wife, dead entirely dead, myself.”
“You claim to do what not even mighty Marduk could do?”
“Well, last time I saw h
er, she was missing her brain housing unit,” I replied, bracing my feet. I was standing between Billy and Iulius when I stopped.
“Your nonsense grows bothersome, mortal,” Apuulluunideeszu thundered from the roof.
“I’ve seen this act performed by better charlatans,” I replied.
“When my pet kills your friends, perhaps you’ll speak less boldly.”
“Nah. I’ve been told I’ve got a real problem with authority,” I said, putting a burst into the snake.
It thrashed, tightening its coils and crushing the garage.
Iulius let forth a barbaric yawp, leaping for the snake, sword in hand. I worked my UMP along its length in short, controlled bursts to distract it so Iulius could remove its heads in the old-fashioned way. Our tactics worked—Iulius cut off the last head. I did a quick magazine swap, my second or third.
Apuulluunideeszu stood on the roof, gloating. I was about to remedy this, when something hammered me to the ground from behind. Two soldiers dressed identically to the fool I had shot in the doorway lifted me, a hand under each armpit. A third speared Iulius from behind.
Iulius disappeared in a flash of light.
“Thus I reward traitors,” Apuulluunideeszu said, jumping lightly from the roof.
The two guys holding me were good—they were big, they were strong, and they weren’t putting up with any shit. I tried to resist, and the one on the right broke my arm for good measure.
That was really going to hurt in a minute.
Apuulluunideeszu was strutting around like every bad villain in every Z-Grade movie ever made. A second pair of soldiers dragged Mel to stand in front of him.
“I warned you,” he said to her. “It was understandable that you would support your husband, but I warned you of the consequences of your actions.”
She spat in his face. “I died in fear once. I refuse to spend eternity doing the same.”
“Then fear no more,” he said, drawing a bronze dagger and driving it into her breast.
She vanished in the same light show as Iulius.
“And you, William,” Apuulluunideeszu said, turning to Billy.
Billy lowered his arms.
“As long as you have been in this realm, and you still misunderstand the power we ancients have here?”
“No. I was given a choice,” Billy said.
“That Fool gave you a choice? Really? The quill writes on the page. What it writes cannot be undone.”
Arm-breaker had a light hold on my upper arm on the right side. Muscles on my left had let go to scratch something. It was now or never. I reached across with my left hand and drew my pistol from the holster on the front of my armor. Pivoting as Arm-breaker started to clamp down, I put two rounds of .45 into Itchy before he realized what was happening. Ignoring the flash, I turned into Arm-breaker, who’d decided the fastest way for him to ensure my compliance was to squeeze the broken bones of my lower arm together.
I jammed my pistol into his belly before pulling the trigger three times.
“FUCK!” I shouted, turning to see Billy standing there holding a 1911A1 on Apuulluunideeszu.
If there were any doubts about Billy’s intentions, the bore aligned on the priest’s nose.
“Abzu will find you!” Apuulluunideeszu shouted as Billy shot him.
“You ok?” Billy asked, lowering the pistol.
“I’ve been better,” I admitted before passing out.
I wasn’t out for long, just long enough for Billy to splint my arm.
“Good job,” I said, offering him my left hand so he could help me stand.
“I was an Eagle Scout,” he said. “I reloaded your pistol as well. I hope you don’t mind, but I took some of your silver bullets for mine.”
“Where’d you learn how to shoot like that?”
He gave me a look that inferred my parents had been brother and sister.
“I told you, daddy was a cop.”
“A damn good one if you can shoot like that.”
“We’re going to have to wander around a bit,” Billy said, lightly touching my right arm.
I’m not going to lie, his touch hurt like a bitch, but suddenly we were somewhere else.
“I see you’re taking me to all the scenic vacation spots,” I said, looking at the featureless gray plane that surrounded us.
“How’s your arm?” he asked, looking around. “I did what I could, but that guy really did a number on you.”
“Hurts.” He’d gone through my first aid kit, encasing my mangled arm in a nice, modern splint, which had a few magical enhancements thanks to the R&D team in Austin. “Damn.”
“What?” Billy asked, jerking his pistol up to high port.
“Just realized I’m going to have to take an elf out to lunch when I get back to the real world. Did you pull the blue tab when you put the splint on me?
“No. I read the directions, but I couldn’t find a blue tab to pull.”
“Takes a minute once you put the splint on,” I said, working my elbow out of the sling. The blue tab hung there, fat and sassy. I reached across with my left hand and pulled.
“That’s the stuff,” I said as the spell kicked in. My arm was still broken, and I wouldn’t be able to use it. All the blue tab did was block the pain.
“Wait a minute. You know an elf?” We started walking across the plane.
“I know half a dozen elves and a bunch of dwarfs, too.”
“I thought the plural was dwarves, not dwarfs.”
I laughed. “You can thank Tolkien for that. He changed it to make the word look more pleasing in English. Dwarfs prefer the older spelling, for some reason.”
“Makes sense,” he said, his face growing wistful. “I always wanted to meet a dwarf or an elf, but they never came into town. And they never pass through here.”
“Different set of gods, different priorities, although you probably met one without knowing it,” I said, rolling my right shoulder to reseat my arm in the sling Billy had tied around my neck.
“What do you mean?”
“There are enclaves of demi-humans scattered throughout the world. Most of them don’t interact with humans—the orcs and goblins because we banished them to the dark places on the fringes of the world, the elves out of fear of humans contaminating their culture, and dwarfs because—well, because they’re generally grumpy bastards, okay?”
“That makes some sense,” he replied.
“Most of that holds true for the Old World,” I continued. “In the Americas, things are a bit different. Elves watched the first humans cross the Bering Land Bridge twenty-seven thousand years ago.”
“We knew about that when I was in school.”
“At first, the elves took a hands-off approach to the new neighbors—they’d observe, but not interfere, kinda like the Prime Directive.”
Billy stopped and touched my arm again. “What’s a Prime Directive?”
He did the hand thing again, and we were outside the apartment I’d shared with Mel.
“Sorry, forgot that’s after your time. There was this TV show about a ship travelling in space, boldly. Their government had a rule about not interfering with developing cultures. The Elves behaved in a similar manner.”
“That sounds like a good idea,” Billy said. “Especially considering what happened later.”
I wasn’t about to debate the Westward Expansion with someone who’d probably talked to people who’d lived it. Especially not logy on endorphins and healing magic.
“To an extent, yeah. There’s been some debate over the last few years about what kind of civilization might have developed in the Americas had the elves ‘interfered’ like their Eurasian relatives, but that’s neither here nor there.”
“What do you mean?” he asked, pausing on the stoop.
“If the elves had helped the new neighbors, Columbus probably wouldn’t have been able to claim the New World for the old. Besides, if they’d helped even a little bit, the Conquistadors wouldn’t have had such a
free hand raping and pillaging their way across Central and South America in the name of God and Spain.”
He looked over his shoulder at me.
I was a bit disconcerted—his right hand was through the door. He followed the direction of my gaze and grinned.
“It’s the easiest way to unlock the door,”
There was a click, and the door opened. Something shot out of the room and pulled him in.
I didn’t hesitate; I jumped through the door, pistol in hand.
* * * * *
Chapter 12 – Diindiisi
The formality of arranging her parole over, Tatsuo insisted on coming home with me—even after I told her our place had exactly one bed, and I wasn’t going to share it with her, especially on the first night Jesse was gone.
Well, more like the first day, as the sun was coming up when we left the compound.
“Foreman, may I ask you a question?” Tetsuo asked as I stepped out of the shower.
Jesse had his complaints about modern plumbing. I usually ignored them or pointed out that there was no need for a servant to stand there and add water to a tank so he could take a shower.
“Yes, you may,” I replied, sitting before the mirror and brushing my hair.
“Do you always glow like that?” she asked before taking the brush from my hand and working out a snarl.
“Glow like what?” I said, stopping her hands for a moment.
“When we were talking, there at the end, I could see the power in you,” Tatsuo said.
“Ah. No. Well, occasionally,” I replied, thinking back to the hunt for a wendigo in London in 1888. Henry said I had “shone like the morning sun” when we put paid to the beast.
“Good,” Tatsuo said, starting to brush out my hair again. “It was a bit unnerving.”
“I can see how it would be,” I replied with a laugh. “There are spare toothbrushes in the cabinet, but I don’t know that I have anything in your size that you can wear.”
“I can adjust my size to match yours if you would like, Foreman,” Tatsuo said. “We dragons have that ability, and then I could wear your clothes until we could go by my place and pick up a few things.”
Last Call Page 8
