by Jack Ray
Midnight Milkshakes
Ice Cream And Suicide Vol. II
By Jack Ray
Midnight Milkshakes copyright © 2018 by Jack Ray. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America by Amazon. No parts of this book may be reproduced.
“A mighty flame follows a tiny spark.”
-Dante Alighieri
Down The Rabbit Hole
And it’s with those poems I seduced you
Lured you in to me
You couldn’t believe
Anyone would feel that much for you
That anyone could say the things I said about you
How enchanting you were
How hypnotic
But now without you
It’s with these poems I lay you to rest for good
In a grave marked
Wash away, never look back, erased from my mind.
The Night We Met
We glowed so brilliantly together
A flame that would never die
In absence we barely flickered
Us fireflies in a jar
Released from one another
Becoming nothing
But lonesome sparks in the night.
Head And Shoulders
And there were plenty of times
My love for you was visible on my face
Especially when I’d talk about everything
You could do to rule the world
With nothing but a smile.
Midnight Milkshakes
I found peace
In spending Friday nights alone with you
Sipping milkshakes at midnight
Us dreaming about the future
Visions in each other’s eyes
With one look you always knew how to get me
What I wouldn’t give to relive that one last time.
We Need To Talk
We sat across each other that night
Snow fell outside our window
And our fates became intertwined when you said
You wanted more
You didn’t want to settle for the treatment
Your man was giving you
You wanted to be a priority
You wanted to be loved
And from that night we built our homes
In each other’s hearts
I found the greatest life possible in you
We were happy for the first time
But for some reason
You couldn’t wipe the guilt from your hands
The guilt of us
So you let me fall
Rather than live with your decisions
You built me up
You lead me on
Not knowing how much it bothered you
Until you couldn’t take the heat any longer
So you sent me to the Furnace in your place
Without any warning
And in the fire I’ll burn for you always.
Those Three Words
We would spend our mornings in the coffee shop
Two iced and a blueberry muffin for the lady
We’d watch the people and laugh in secret
We’d locked our eyes like we met for the first time
And I was lucky enough to get this every morning
I wish you knew
How badly I felt it then
I wish you knew
How much you made my every day
Over and over again
I wish you knew
Before you let it slip away.
Victorian Era Homes
There is a time I often think about
We would walk
The cold autumn sidewalks together
And I was balancing the ideas in my head
Whether I truly loved you and wanted you in
Or whether I was a fool
To be played by a taken women
And I was a fool you see
Because I didn’t want to believe it
I wanted you and your love
And there was simply never anything else
This world could have tried to stop me
But it would have been in vain
I was blinded by you
And I did fall for you…
Not realizing that this fall would be something
I’d never recover from.
You Really Are A Hopeless Romantic
Back when you lied to him
Ignoring his calls
Feeling that bitterness in your heart toward him
W E B U R N E D B R I G H T
You took my hand and showed me
The possibilities of a world
In love
With you
And I desperately needed that place
The only dream worth dreaming
And after fighting with all that I am
We turned that fantasy into reality
…But you slowly began to lie to me too
Over nothing
You doused the flame
You hated me for coming into your life
The way I did
But I still loved you
I still believed you when you said
You wanted it too before it collapsed
In the end I still gave you reassurance of my love
I was still affectionate to you
But you were cold then
You couldn’t even pretend to miss me
Pretend to care at all
You were numb to me
Even after everything.
University 101
What happened to us?
You used to hug me tight after a long day
And I would always whisper to you
How much I never wanted you to let go.
This Family Dynamic
The night we met
How long ago
We seemed so perfect
You were my half
Identical, in nearly every way
But as time passed
My infatuation grew into love
While you stared blank
And you kept staring
Hollowed on the inside
But making me believe we were still in love
You were like me after all
Identical, in almost every way
Well so I thought,
Until you woke me up in the middle of the night
To let me know it was over
To let me know you never loved me
To tell me to forget and move on
I never felt this…so how could you?
I thought we were cut from the same cloth
How could you forget?
Change?
What happened?
And what did I do wrong?
Questions I’ll never know the answers to
Along with any other lies, hidden,
That made me believe
You were just like me.
Mama And Papa
You were my world
My lover
And my best friend
Now I’m not even allowed to utter your name.
I Like You A Pretty Decent Amount
The warmth of your body next to me
I’ll never know that comfort again
To think we really had something special
To be so foolish to fall for you
It haunts me
It haunts me when I walk alone
It haunts me when I dine, alone
But I think the most painful experience
It’s seeing you across the room
And me trying so desperately to catch a glimpse
I try to fight
you
But every now and then I’ll look to you
Hoping to God that you are fighting it too
That you want to catch a glimpse too
And that our eyes will meet and say;
I’m sorry
I miss you
Or even a fucking hello
No, you see
That shit doesn’t happen
I look to you
And you don’t move a muscle
Stone cold
It’s as if you hate me for something
And I don’t know what
All I ever did was love you
But you, you act like I’m a dead man walking.
Immaturity // Frosty
You were so thankful to have me in your life
You struggled to imagine
A day going by without me
But somehow, someway
You were still the one to get rid of me.
10 Gallon
In the comfort of our home
We’d watch the fish chase
Playfully they ran around the tank
And deep down we knew they loved each other
After all, they were the only company they had
Funny how similar we were
How I always chased you
How we ran around for what seemed like
A lifetime
But you knew I loved you from the beginning
You were my company and I was yours
But you left me
You’ve swam far from me without explanation
Yet I still chase your ghost
Still reliving that memory of you
That love for you
And in circles I’ll run
Trying to get you back
Trying to understand
Trying to find that lover who ran circles
In my heart.
Sent From
‘You made my life better’
Something you said as you shattered my heart
Obviously not true
Obviously not good enough
Maybe I just wasn’t
And that was something I worried about
Since even before we took the leap
You told me not to worry about it
That I was in fact ‘better than the rest’
So why leave me
Why make such a bold remark as
‘You made my life better’
If I truly didn’t
How could you, with a press of a button,
Turn my life into a living hell.
Malebolge
You wanted it as much as I did
To give into that evil desire
To feel our bodies so close and so hot
To take the plunge into something sinister
And while you made out with pleasure
You painted me in blame.
I Feel Different Now
And in the last moment we shared
I told you I loved you
And in the last moment we shared
You reminded me you never did
And in this moment
I still dream of loving you
And in this moment
You remember you never could.
Studying Chemistry
And I stop to relive it every time
Those desires leaking from our tongues
Yet your shy legs crossed anxious
Concealing your most precious parts
In a flash we were already getting down to it
And it’s hard to forget
That first time you opened up to me
Gushing with the thought of me
The way you dreamed of this moment
The way I dreamed of this moment
I was as close to you as I’ll ever be
Do you remember it like I do?
How could you forget.
Keys To Your Car
And you actually believe that I
Caused your last relationship to fail
To think so little of me
Suppressing how much you wanted it too.
It’s easy to blame others for your own mistakes.
Untitled I
And with all the tears I’ve cried for you
I hope to drown myself
Out of existence.
The Weight On Our Shoulders
I wish I knew what happened to my beloved
You’re not her
You’re not even a cheap knockoff
You’re cold and full of deception
But Lord knows
If I knew my baby was out there
I’d go to the ends of the earth
To find her once again.
Car Wash
I remember those nights
The late night drives
We could talk about anything
And it was enough
We were mirror images
Bonding over the smallest details
And I can’t help but think about what you said
One night
How you told me
You really made me fall for you…
God, that was the greatest feeling
How much impact those words held to me
It melted my heart away
Too bad, it was just another lie.
Untitled II
Do you still reach for me now that I’ve gone?
I still reach for you.
Dressing Rooms
Crossing paths once more
While I still have this love for you…
It’s unfair
It’s fucked up
Because I know when you see me
You feel nothing at all
And I’m left with the weight of this world.
Sunday Brunch
If only I could go back to that coffee shop with you
One more time
Nothing was more perfect.
Can I Ask You A Personal Question?
How much easier it must have been
To send that message
Than look me in the face and say it
Knowing damn well you couldn’t
I mean
I was there when he wasn’t
And I know you only left me for him.
The Pickup Lines
With all the people on this earth
I choose you
And if that doesn’t mean anything to you
I don’t know what does.
Our Concerts
Sometimes we’d just sit in the car
And play music
I don’t think I’ll ever find something more intimate
Than those moments with you.
Official Dates
Oh how badly I want you to think of me
And how I know you never do
Because you never cared about me
The way I cared about you
I was just there to take his place
A substitute if you will
And on his return I became nothing
So shut me out while you still can
Tell me it was only fake feelings
Push me to that edge once again
So this time
I can finally take care of some unfinished business
With a single pull
Of the trigger.
St. Louis No. 2
Sometimes I keep myself up at night
Sometimes I listen to sad songs
Or songs that remind me of you
Sometimes I make myself cry
Just to make the pain stay
And one way or another it stays
And it carves into my heart
Sometimes I do this
Maybe with a pen or rather a blade
I do this
Just to know it was real
Just to know that I can still feel something.
Untitled III
I hope who ever finds you next
Is more prepared to lose you
Th
an I was.
Big Dipper
I told you before we made those moves
Once we cross this bridge
We could never return to being
Just friends
And that will always hold true
So don’t come back to me
Pretending like all you ever wanted
Was me and you playing house
But only ever living as friends.
Will I See You Tomorrow?
When you look back do you see it?
How awful you’ve become
How far from yourself you are now
Amazing, how quickly you became a stranger
To the girl I fell in love with
How different you were back then
Full of love, smiles, and hope
What happened to that beautiful young woman
My best friend
The one I’d do anything on this earth
To save.
Untitled IV
And with a single breath
She vanished from my life.
Baggage Claim
How many lies did you tell yourself
How long did you go
Knowing deep down
You could never love me
Forever feeling remorse
For becoming
A little more than friendly
My thoughts; you really wanted me
Well that’s what you said isn’t it
But I guess that too
Was another great lie of yours
You ended up dealing with the issue
