When he was gone and I was dressed, I looked at my cell phone and saw that I’d missed a call from Karl. I dialed him back.
“Where the hell are you?” he snapped.
I went with the closest thing to the truth. “In my suite. I was tired and lay down for a while.”
“Taking a fucking nap in the middle of the day? What the hell, Cane! Just because we’re family doesn’t mean you can take advantage of me like that.”
“It’s not taking advantage considering you have me working late tonight. Besides, aren’t you always complaining about my not using my suite?”
Karl was silent a moment. I think I’d taken him by surprise.
“Get up here,” he finally growled and hung up on me.
I took a moment to wipe up the bed. I wouldn’t be surprised if the cleaning staff reported to my cousin. I couldn’t hold back a smile at the ridiculous idea of a maid telling Karl that she’d found cum stains on my sheets.
I stepped off the elevator into the penthouse to find Karl on his back on the floor, naked from the waist up, lifting weights.
“Took you long enough. Decide to take another nap?” he grouched.
I ignored him and sat down on the couch. Outside, flurries disappeared into the East River. So much for the early spring weather we’d recently experienced.
“Report,” Karl grunted from the floor, muscles straining under the twenty-five-pound weights.
I consulted my notes in my phone. “Everything is ready. The director had no problem with where you wanted our booth placed, particularly after the monetary incentive I gave him. B-Natural will be the first booth everyone sees when they walk into the room, and we’ll have a small one set up at the end too with the products we sell exclusively.”
Karl grunted again as he raised and lowered the weights, a fine sheen a sweat developing on his chest. If I was waiting for him to tell me I’d done a good job, I’d be waiting forever. I sat watching him until he finished his count and put down the weights. Rolling to his knees, he grabbed a towel and wiped off his face and chest.
“How come you don’t go to the gym downstairs?” I asked. I knew my cousin used exercise to deal with stress.
Karl looked at me funny, probably because I didn’t normally make conversation with him.
“I do go there. I just grabbed these up to clear my head while I waited for you.” He got to his feet with a grunt. “The other thing I want you to do is to head down to After Hours for me. I have a craving.”
I swore he chose me to do this because he knew how much I hated it, so I tried to hide my annoyance. “What are you looking for?” I refused to say craving.
“Young. Pretty. Male. Swimmer’s physique. Maybe a nice head of curly blond hair if you can find it. Oh! And innocent blue eyes.”
I stilled, anger burning low in my belly. He was describing Tony. Keeping my eyes on my phone, I pretended to make notes.
“Anything else?” I finally looked up when he didn’t immediately reply.
Karl’s smile was carnal. “Yeah, make sure he’s good for a hard pounding. And I want him up here ASAP.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Tony
I had almost fallen asleep when my phone rang. I grabbed it before it could wake up Jeo, who was home for a change.
“Hello.”
“Antonio.”
I shifted to get more comfortable on the bed. “Mom. Hi.”
“Did you get my message?”
“Yes, I got both.”
“Why didn’t you call me back?”
“I wasn’t sure what there was to say. I can’t send you anymore money right now.”
“You’re going to be thirty soon.”
I was twenty-six.
“What have you done with yourself? Your father would be ashamed.”
My heart sank under the weight of her disapproval. “I can’t do this right now.”
“That’s what you always say. When you visited, I thought you were going to give me some good news. Say that you’ve straightened yourself out and are doing something important with your life rather than riding a motorcycle and getting into trouble.”
The only trouble I’d ever gotten into was the one thing she couldn’t let go.
“I thought you were going to get me out of this shithole. What would your father say? He worked so hard for everything we had, and you threw it in his face. And now you’re leaving me to rot. Your own mother.”
The headache I’d felt coming on earlier in the day bloomed behind my eyes at her hurtful words, and I lost my cool.
“And what for?” I snapped. “You’ve already spent everything he’d saved.”
“If he were still here, I wouldn’t have to worry about that, but you took him from me, and now I expect you to provide!”
“I have provided. You have a perfectly nice home. It’s all I can afford. You have Dad’s insurance and the money I’m always sending you. I can’t do anymore than what I’m doing.” I was shaking, about to lose it completely.
I could feel her judgment, harsh and critical, over the line, but continued, “If it’s not enough, marry some doctor or a celebrity who makes the kind of money that will satisfy you.”
“You think I haven’t thought about it?” She started to cry, which was so much worse than her anger. “I could never love anyone the way I loved your father. I could never sleep with another man. He was my world. You don’t know what love like that is.”
Tears stung my eyes. I was pretty sure I did know, but my mother would never understand that two men could experience the same feelings for one another that a man and woman could. Plus, I was pretty sure she didn’t see me as a person with real feelings, just the spawn who’d taken a little attention from the man she loved. The absence of that natural motherly love every child deserved had carved a hole into my heart.
“I’ll have more money soon,” I choked out. “I have to go.”
I hung up and buried my face in my pillow, trying not to make any noise as I cried. I didn’t want Jeo to see me so upset; he’d make me explain it to him, and I didn’t want anyone’s pity.
Miserable and unable to sleep, I finally sat up and looked at the clock. I wanted Cane’s arms around me, but he was working late, and I didn’t know what time he’d be home.
Walking quietly out of the room, I closed the door behind me and went into the kitchen to take some ibuprofen before going into Cane’s empty bedroom. I immediately felt better when I crawled between sheets that smelled of him. Holding onto his pillow, I cried until my head hurt so much I had to make myself stop.
When I heard Cane’s bike in the driveway, I let out a pent-up breath and relaxed into the mattress. I hadn’t realized I’d been so tense until I let it all out.
“Tony?” Cane murmured when he came into the bedroom.
“Yeah. I hope it’s okay I’m in here.”
“Of course it is.” He began to undress, and I breathed out raggedly.
“Everything okay?” He crawled in beside me, his warmth so comforting a fresh stream of tears cascaded down my cheeks.
“Hey, hey.” Cane’s voice was low and concerned as he wiped at my face with his fingers. “What’s wrong? Please tell me.”
I swallowed, squeezing my eyes shut a moment. “My mother. She called, and…” I caught my breath. “She wants money.”
“Is she in trouble? Your father’s deceased, right?”
“Yeah, he’s been dead for years. And no, she’s not in trouble unless she’s run up some horrendous bill. I don’t know. She always wants money. I send it to her whenever I can.”
Cane was barely visible in the dark room, but I sensed he was frowning. I knew he didn’t understand the situation, and for the first time, I found myself wanting to talk about it to someone.
“Is she unable to work herself?” he asked.
I laughed and then groaned and held my aching head. “She’s never worked a day in her life and never plans to. My father spoiled her. My mother’s fr
om Sweden, and they met in Italy while she was on vacation. She called it a whirlwind love affair that ended in marriage within weeks. She was so wrapped up in my father she never wanted children, but he eventually convinced her to have me.”
“How did he die?” Cane asked, pulling me into his arms and stroking my pounding head. It felt so good. I sank into him.
“He had a heart attack my freshman year of college.”
“I’m sorry.” Cane’s voice rumbled against my ear. “Were you close?”
“Yeah. Every year, we’d go on a fishing trip. My mother hated fishing, and I think that’s why Dad chose it, so she wouldn’t come. He loved her, but he also wanted time with me alone.”
“Sounds like he loved you a lot.”
I swallowed the sob threatening to strangle me. “It was my fault that he had the heart attack.”
“What? How?”
I’d never told anyone this, not even Blaze, who knew my father was dead and that I sent money to my very demanding mother, and he may even have guessed my mother blamed me for his death. What Blaze didn’t know was why.
“I fell for a guy my second semester of college. His name was Hector. He was on the track team and really beautiful. Looking back, I now know he only dated me because I amused him, but I thought we were in love. It was my first hard crush, and I was consumed.”
“What happened?” Cane asked scratching lightly behind my ear that wasn’t pressed to his chest.
I wrapped my arm around him.
“I did something stupid.”
Cane waited until I got myself together enough to continue.
“Hector was failing one of his classes. World history. He was going to be kicked off the track team when his coach found out, and he was afraid he might lose his scholarship too. He knew how good I was with the computer and how my friend had taught me some things, so he asked me to hack into the system and change his grade.”
Cane paused in his gentle scratching. “And you did it?”
“Yeah. And I got caught. My dad had to come to the school and see the dean, whose brother was Dad’s best friend. I’m sure he was embarrassed. That’s the day he had the heart attack. My mother says it was all the stress. He held on for a few days in the hospital, but then he had another, more massive attack and died.”
“Had he had heart trouble before?”
“No, but the doctor said there was blockage. He said the attack was inevitable.”
Cane resumed scratching, and I sighed, my headache subsiding. “Then it wasn’t your fault. It could have happened anytime.”
“I tell myself that, but my mother is always reminding me of what I did. Of how much I embarrassed them. What it must have been like for my father to have to face the dean and get his son out of a situation like that. I caused him so much trouble. Mom said she might have had years more with him if it weren’t for me, and maybe the blockage would even have been detected at his next physical, not that he was very regular with those.”
“That’s a lot of guilt to pile on a kid,” Cane said angrily.
I sniffled. “I was so stupid to have done that for a guy who didn’t even love me.” I broke down again, and Cane held me while I cried because of the idiot I’d been, because I missed my father, and because my mother only saw me as the person who had taken away the man she adored. Cane shushed me, combing his fingers through my hair until I finally quieted. I was so thankful to have him.
“What happened to him? To Hector?” Cane asked.
“Nothing. I didn’t tell on him. Dad’s friend convinced his brother the dean to let me stay at school, but I didn’t. Shortly after Dad died, I left home on the bike he’d bought me for my birthday the year before. It was an FXR4 limited edition Harley Davidson, and I’d adored it. I winded up having to sell it so I could eat and buying something a lot cheaper. It killed me to do it.”
“I’m sorry you’ve carried this around with you so long,” Cane said after a few minutes of silence.
“I went to see my mother while I was away recently for the first time since it happened, although we’d kept in touch by phone. How else could she get me to send her money? I’d hoped that after so long, maybe things would be different face-to-face, you know? I wasn’t the kid anymore who took my father’s attention from her. But it was exactly the same. I’m still the worthless son who robbed her of the man she loved and didn’t even have the decency to finish college when my father had died to keep me there.”
Cane’s arms tightened around me, and he spoke into my hair. “Don’t say that. Your father had a blockage that would have killed him sooner or later. Just because you caused a little stress, like every young boy causes his father at one time or another, doesn’t make you responsible. It doesn’t require you to pay your mother’s way either.”
I shook my head. “She’ll never see it that way.”
“It doesn’t matter how she sees it, only how you see it. You’re an adult. You’ve done what you could for her, so maybe you should cut ties.”
“But she’s my mother,” I protested weakly. “The only family I have.”
Cane gently tilted my face so I was looking into his eyes. Even though it was dark, I could see the contrast of the shocking blue and the rim and dark pupil. “A smart guy recently pointed out to me that sometimes family doesn’t have a damn thing to do with who you share your genes with.”
I smiled tremulously. “Using my own words against me isn’t exactly fair.”
Cane kissed me. “You’ve done your penance. It’s time you get to be happy.”
Maybe it was. I kissed him back, and we lay for a long time, tasting each other’s mouths and softly touching in the darkness.
****
I felt as though a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Technically, nothing had changed, but having told Cane about my parents, I felt as if I’d been freed from heavy chains that had bound me for years.
I was almost finished painting the portrait of Shika. She’d stopped trying to make conversation with me and meditated instead. When she’d come in that day, she’d seemed preoccupied and had easily settled into our normal silence.
As soon as I announced we were finished for the morning, Shika jumped up and got dressed before quickly leaving.
I headed to the penthouse to finish up the reports for Bruder.
Bruder’s office door was open, but he was nowhere to be seen. I assumed he wasn’t there until I heard noises coming from the master bedroom upstairs. Living in the clubhouse and occasionally working at Hard Time, I’d both seen and heard plenty of sex between men. This, however, was different. It sounded like the guy in there with Bruder—and it was a guy, as I could hear him shouting—was being plowed with hard, rough, animalistic sex that pounded the bed into the wall while knocking pictures askew on the other side. Although I liked sex to be a little rough myself, I was shocked at the violence of the act. I shut myself in the office, but that only helped cut down the noise a little bit. Bruder was cursing the man, telling him he was a cunt and a slut and to take it. Thinking I now had an idea of what Shika was so preoccupied about, I grabbed my earbuds from my bag and found a play list to drown out the commotion.
I worked for a couple of hours that way until my stomach rumbled one too many times. I was in a hurry to finish, so I didn’t want to stop for lunch, but I needed a snack or I wouldn’t be able to concentrate. I took out my ear buds and listened. The place was quiet. I headed for the kitchen and stopped in my tracks when I saw a man standing by the refrigerator wearing only a pair of very skimpy white lace panties.
“Oh,” I said. “I didn’t know anyone was here.”
The guy was drinking what looked to be wine with ice in it and leaned against the counter, one hip cocked. He gave me the once over. “Haven’t seen you around. Are you another one of Karl’s guys?”
“His guys?” I repeated, wondering if I really looked like one of Bruder’s hulky henchmen. Then I realized he wasn’t talking about those guys. “Er, no. I’m doing
some tech work for Mr. Bruder, that’s all.”
The guy smiled. “Good. I don’t like competition. Karl promised to buy me a car. My name is Greer.”
“I’m Tony. I’m just going to get a bottle of water and something to eat and head back up to the office.”
“You’re working upstairs? Then I guess you must have heard us. We weren’t exactly quiet.”
I tried not to look at the teeth marks all over Greer’s skin, but I couldn’t help myself. They were on his neck, chest, nipples. I held back a shudder. When he noticed me looking, he said unnecessarily, “Karl’s a biter.”
“Okay.” I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and a banana from the bowl on the bar and hurried back upstairs.
Once again seated at the computer, I blew out a breath. Reaching into my bag, I pulled out my laptop and quickly brought up Bruder’s secret email account. After sifting through a few new ones, which were mainly filled with more confirmed “tea” orders, I sighed and brought up a search engine. On a whim, I looked up the Rockwell Center and scrolled through information on it, wondering if they had a map and how much it would show. Although Cane had looked, he could have missed another entrance, and that would come in handy. Abruptly, I stopped and stared at the screen, then I grabbed my phone and dialed Cane.
“Hey,” his deep voice rumbled in my ear.
“Can you talk?”
“No, but go ahead.”
Figuring that meant people were around who could hear him, I said, “Guess who owns the Rockwell Center?”
“Who?”
“Wentworth Properties.”
Cane was silent a moment before saying, “Is that…”
“Morgan’s company, yes. They own the center. If there is another way down to the tunnel, Morgan will be able to find out. I’ll talk to you at home.” I disconnected, leaned back, and smiled smugly.
“You’re going down, Bruder.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Cane
As soon as I got to the clubhouse that night, I went looking for Tony. I found him in my room, sitting cross-legged on the bed, his laptop open. An unfamiliar warmth spread through my chest at the sight of him there surrounded by my things.
The Hacker and his Heart's Desire Page 15
