by Erin Trejo
“After all this time, she called you. What’s that about?” He says. Shrugging, I say it again.
“Didn’t wait to hear it. I hung up.” Dragon leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees.
“You askin’ me if I think you should give her a chance?” He asks me. I see the look in his eyes. I don’t like it either. Dragon knows the hell I went through the first time, but I can’t help but think about her. We were together for a long time. She was all I wanted.
“Yeah, I guess I am.” Dragon blows out a breath before standing in front of me.
“Then my answer is–hell no. You may have pushed that girl to a breakin’ point, but she knew what she was gettin’ into with you. She took that chance and she bailed, Ghost. You tried to get her back. She wanted no part of that.” He’s right. I did go after her once. She closed me out and disappeared after that. I guess I need to rethink that shit. As much as I miss her, he’s right. She fucking bailed on me.
“Yeah, you’re right. I’m out.” Slapping a hand on his shoulder, I head out his door ready to go on this ride. Heading down the hallway, I spot Amber.
“Hey, Amber.” She glances over with a smile on her face. She would have been hot as hell if she wasn’t so used up.
“What do you need?” She asks. Licking her lips, there is no way in hell she wants some more ass right now after getting Dragon.
“I didn’t know you were hittin’ Dragon. I was thinkin’ about gettin’ a little somethin’ later.” Her eyes light up like Christmas.
“I can handle you, Ghost.” Running her tongue over her bottom lip, I reach down and adjust my dick in my jeans.
“See you after this run.”
Chapter 3
Cocking my head to the side, I study Nessa as she stands near the bikes. She had said that her ex was in an MC, so why the hell is she looking at the bikes like they might jump up and bite her ass? She runs her fingers over Devil’s bike, like she’s never seen one up close.
I cross my arms over my chest. “Thought you were a biker bitch?” Nessa spins to look at me.
“A biker bitch? No. I dated him. He never really took me anywhere.” She shrugs her shoulders. I walk closer to her with my eyebrow raised.
“So how is that datin’ then?” I ask. I’m confused. Her man never took her out? What kind of prick was he?
“It’s not I guess. Not really.” Chuckling, I let my arms fall to my sides.
“That’s Devil's. Mine’s over here,” I say pointing to the bike. Heading toward my bike, she follows along behind me. I grab an extra helmet off one of the other guy's bikes before turning back toward her.
“Put this on.” Handing her the helmet, she looks at it like it’s a foreign object. I almost laugh but she’s too damn cute standing there holding it. She flips it in her hands repeatedly. She has my interest.
“Like this,” I say. I reach over, taking it back before lifting it to her head. Sliding it on, I buckle it under her chin.
She watches me but doesn’t say a word. I reach up, brushing her hair away from her shoulders, pulling it around behind her back. As my fingers lightly touch her skin, she gasps. Shit, that gasp sounded way too perfect.
“It’s not so hard. Throw your leg over, keep your feet here.” I point to the spot I want her.
“Don’t touch those—they get hot.” Nessa nods her head. I think she gets what to do but who the hell knows.
Her voice stutters. “I’m a little nervous.” Causing me to smile. I can see it all over her face. She has never been on a bike, but dated a biker. That shit is really boggling my mind right now.
“Lean with me… not too much. Just be still and hold on. I got this.” Her eyes burn into mine. She slowly nods her head. I climb on, sliding my helmet into place before slipping my gloves on. I reach my hand out to Nessa, which she takes.
“Throw your leg over,” I tell her. She does as I say, and throws her leg over the bike. I release her hand so she can adjust herself. When I glance over my shoulder, I gasp. The air is lodged in my throat. She looks like an angel sitting there with a slight smile on her face. This is going to be fun.
I rev the bike up when I feel her hands on my waist. I almost laugh at the way she tries to not touch me. Grabbing her hands, I pull them around me. Locking them tightly against my abs, I almost quiver from the feel of her.
“I won’t bite. Not on the first date anyway.”
Nessa smiles but she’s so unsure of everything. Her ex must have been a real piece of work to never take her out. In fact, looking at her, he was probably one of those pretty boys that rode a fucking crotch rocket. They like to classify themselves as an MC, when we all know they are just little bitches on little bitch bikes.
It’s been so long since I’ve had a woman on the back of my bike. It makes me giddy to have it again. I used to drive Mel all over on my bike. She used to love every second of it, too.
I never knew how much I missed it until now. Nessa has been holding on like a pro. She tenses up around curves but she’s doing amazing for her first ride. I reach back occasionally, and give her thigh a squeeze so she knows she’s doing it right. I don’t know who likes that part more. Me, or her. I feel her fingers tighten around my shirt every time I do it. I almost want to keep my hand there and not let go, just to see how she reacts to me. Pulling off the main road, I slow down, taking backroads to the house I’m meeting these people at.
Usually I ride alone on these runs, but what the hell is it going to hurt to take her along this time. I am going to have a fun time at the beach, though. Nessa in a fucking bikini? Hell yeah–I am ready for that shit. I slow down, stopping in front of a house. It’s not something you’d think would be a drug-house by looking at the outside. It’s a nice neighborhood, with the little picket fences. Nowhere I need to be. Cutting the engine, I climb off before reaching for the saddle bag.
“I’ll be right back. You can wait here,” I say. Nessa nods her head but her eyes follow me everywhere I go.
I sort of like it. I like that someone’s attention is on me. It’s a change from Melanie. Her attention was on everything around her. I was usually just an oversight for her at times. Walking up to the door, it cracks open. I see the barrel of the gun before anything else. Reaching back, I grab my gun with lightning speed. My heart hammers in my chest knowing that Nessa is only a few feet away. She didn’t sign up for this shit I can tell you. I don’t know what the hell this is either. I’ve never had a gun trained on me when I was dropping shit off to these guys.
“You havin’ a little mishap in your judgement there?” I ask him. The kid at the door can’t be much older than nineteen. He must be new to this shit. He better be a fast learner.
“Who the hell are you?” He asks in a rough tone. Lowering my gun, he isn’t a threat to me. Fucking idiot. I slide my gun back into the back of my jeans.
“I’m the goddamn delivery boy.” He pokes his head out, glancing around before lowering his gun. When he steps out of the house and toward me, I lose it. Slamming my fist into his face, I grin when I hear the crack. The kid falls to the ground crying in pain as the blood sprays from his nose. Another guy comes to the door to see what’s happening. This one I recognize.
“Next time I’m bringin’ a shipment, don’t send a kid to do the man’s job,” I snap. Bark looks at me before smiling.
“He pulled a gun, didn’t he?” Nodding once, I pull the bag off my shoulder, holding it out to him.
“Sorry, Ghost. The kid's new. He can get a little gun happy.” Clearly!
“You’re lucky it was me and not Devil. He would have put his ass out in the matter of seconds, man. You need to check that shit,” I say, nodding at the kid. Bark nods.
“I know. We’ve been trying to tell him but the kid’s paranoid.” Paranoid? I can’t help but chuckle. “That shit happens when you use your own damn product.” Fucking idiots.
***
It only takes a few minutes to make the exchange. I don’t need to count shit. I k
now it’s all there. These punks wouldn’t dare try to short change us. Dragon will wipe out their whole crew.
In fact, he’d send Devil’s crazy ass over here to have a little fun time.
“You broke his nose.” Nessa’s eyes are huge as she stares up at the spot where the kid was. Bark got him up and took his dumb ass back inside.
“He pulled a gun on me.” Laughing like it’s no big deal, she looks over at me.
“He can’t be that old. You just broke his nose,” She says again. I slide the new bag into the saddle bag before replacing the lock.
“So, what? He pulled a gun on me. Did that part not register with you?” I ask feeling a little more defensive. Nessa doesn’t move or smile. In fact, she looks pissed. What the fuck? She’s pissed at me for breaking his nose, after he pulled a gun on me?
“You’re a biker, Ghost. I’m sure people have pulled guns on you before,” She says as if she knows. Does she have a point? If she does, I don’t see it.
“Is this chat goin’ somewhere?” Nessa cuts her eyes at me but doesn’t say anything further. I climb back on the bike, sliding my helmet back in place. I wait for her to climb on but she just stands there. Defiant little girl. I like it.
“He could have pulled the trigger and I knew you were sittin’ not so far away. If that makes it any better,” I say. I don’t look back at her to gauge her reaction.
I feel her hands on my shoulder as she climbs on behind me. I rev the bike up and take off. Her hands wrap around me quickly as I take off down the road. I’m so ready to hit the beach. I miss it. When I was younger, we lived close to the water. It’s the only thing I ever loved in my childhood. I would hide out there when I needed space. I miss it, I miss just going there to clear my head and unwind. If I wasn’t so wrapped up in club shit, I would come out here more often. At times though, I don’t like being there alone. Too many memories.
We make it there in no time. Pulling up, I park the bike before climbing off. I help Nessa off before I look out at the water. Taking a deep breath, I sigh. It’s perfect. A small smile curls my lips. Memories of my mom taking me when I was little float into my mind’s eye. It was everything a kid could ever want. I miss it.
I miss her.
“Memories are timeless treasures, Ghost. You should keep them in a safe place.” I narrow my eyes as I turn to look at Nessa. She just watches me.
I don’t know what to say to her. She’s different, that much I can see.
“How do you know I was havin’ a good memory?” I ask. Nessa smiles, but only slightly.
“I saw the look on your face. I know a good one when I see it.” Nodding, I grab the bag out of the other saddle bag. Looking back up at Nessa, she smiles.
“Where do I keep it, Nessa?” I ask her. I’ve confused her. I can see the look in her eyes, but now I want to know what her little theory is.
“Keep what?”
“The memory. Where do I keep it so it stays safe?” Her perfectly white smile beams brighter in the sunlight.
“In your heart, Ghost. No one can touch it there.” I let that settle in me. It threw me off guard in a way. I never thought of anything in that way. Turning, I head to the water with Nessa close behind me. I don’t say anything as I let that shit sink in. Keep good memories in my heart, huh? What if there isn’t any room in there? I carry around so much rage and regret, that I don’t think memories will fit.
“You got quiet on me, Ghost.” Her finger pokes into my back. I glance over my shoulder at her.
“I was just thinkin’ about what you said. I’ve never thought of my heart as a safe place.” Taking the towel from the bag, I spread it out on the sand in front of us. Nessa starts to take her clothes off, revealing a little bikini that she borrowed from Aria.
“Fuck, me.” Nessa laughs when she notices me looking at her.
“I think I’ll pass, Ghost.” Shaking my head, this girl is something else.
“Why have you never thought your heart was a safe place?” She asks. My eyes travel her body before coming up to her face. She isn’t looking at me right now. She has her eyes closed, pulling her hair up on top of her head. I take that as my chance to check out that hot body of hers once more without getting caught.
“I let someone inside of it. She ruined it. Ripped it apart.” Nessa finishes tying her hair up when she looks over at me.
“That’s a part of living, Ghost. Do you know what the beauty of your heart is?” She steps closer to me. My heart rate picks up with her this near. Her hands land on my chest, just above my heart. My body betrays me. My dick hardens and my blood roars in my ears.
“No, what is it?” Trying to get her to talk before I throw her down and fuck her, I wait.
“It may have been broken, but it can always be repaired. We’re never completely gone.” She lowers her hands and walks away as if nothing happened. My body says otherwise. Her words cut me deeply, though. I’ve never thought my heart could be repaired after what Mel did to it. She tore me apart.
She ripped up everything that was good inside of me and tossed it in the fucking trash.
Chapter 4
Nessa’s swimming around. Her hair’s sticking to her face. She laughs as I sit back and watch her jump waves in the ocean. Who the hell knew that something so mundane could be so perfect. Her words tumble around inside of me. She really threw me off with that. Can I think of having someone else in my life? I’ve wondered this for so long but I’ve never found anyone that could challenge me. Melanie took something from me when she left. As hard as I’ve searched for it, I’ve never found it. That may be my destiny. I’m destined to nothing, and no one. I open my eyes, not even realizing I’d closed them. Looking out at the water, Nessa waves at me. I give her a little nod before she shakes her head. Waving to me, she wants me to come out in the water with her.
“Why the hell not,” Mumbling to myself, I shove myself up and head to the water. When my foot steps in, I’m assaulted with so many memories. It hurts. It tugs at every string of my heart. I feel her hands, her warmth, before I realize it’s not my mom. It’s Nessa. Her wet hand comes up wiping a tear that I didn’t realize had fallen.
“Keep them safe, Ghost.” Her only words to me haunt me. Keep them safe, when all they do is tear me up.
“There are days I don’t want them. Days that just feel like everything is too much.” Nessa’s hands encircle my waist. She leans her head down, resting it against my chest. It’s such a sweet gesture. I don’t know how to take it. I let my hand wrap around her back, holding her there.
“You can talk to me, Ghost. I’m a good listener.” She says. I let out a chuckle before her head tilts up. Our eyes lock and I want to taste those little pouty lips of hers, but I don’t. Instead, I do something I’ve never done before. I talk to her.
“My mom used to bring me here. We’d play for hours. Build sand castles, swim. We never got tired of it either.” Her eyes speak to me. They call to me, but why?
“How did she die?” She asks. How does she see this in me? Am I that transparent?
“She was killed.” Nessa doesn’t move, she just watches me.
“Mine, too. Car accident. I was fifteen at the time. It hurts every day, Ghost. There is something better out there for you, though. Everyone has someone out there looking for them. We just have to let it happen.”
Letting things happen isn’t the problem. Finding someone that can challenge me the way Mel did, is. I don’t take women lightly. I want them to push me. I want them to push me to be better–to be what they need. I’ve always been able to work around my own shit, as long as the woman was happy. At the end of the day that’s what’s important, isn’t it?
***
Nessa and I have swam around and laughed. We played in the water together before I got out. I was too close to her. Too close to wanting to touch her, and take her the way I desire. She’s better than that, though. I can see it in her eyes. I didn’t want to push her.Nessa walks over, water dripping down her body. The t
houghts of licking that water off her, that are floating around my head, I have to adjust my dick.
“Come on, Ghost.” She smiles. I climb up and follow behind her.
“I’ve never actually collected shells before.” We walk down the shoreline picking up shells as we find them.
“Are you kiddin’ me?” I ask. Shaking her head, she smiles.
“I’ve only been to the beach a few times. I never actually looked for shells, though.”
“Where were you born, Nessa?” If she hasn’t been to the beach much, she can’t be from around here.
“Texas. We don’t have very many beaches there.” Her laughter is infectious. It’s perfect.
“When did you come out here to Cali?” Nessa sighs. This must be a part of her life she doesn’t want to talk about.
“I didn’t mean to be nosy.” I grab another shell and drop it into the bag she found.
“It’s not that. I came out here after my mom died. My dad got really depressed. He cried all the time. He couldn’t take care of me.” That makes sense. It sounds a lot like my parents.
“Sorry about your mom. Who’d you live with when you came here?” I ask her with interest. Nessa stops to grab another shell before popping up next to me again.
“My aunt. She’s the best person I know. She took care of me.” She says. A genuine smile crosses my face.
“It’s good that you have that with her.” Nessa nods with a smile on her face before turning toward me. She walks backward, watching me.
“What about you, Ghost? Where’s your dad or other family?” She asks the one question I don’t like answering. Swallowing hard, I reach up, brushing a piece of hair behind her ear.
“My dad couldn’t handle it after my mom died. He killed himself the same day. They were both the only child—so no other family.” Her face suddenly falls. I don’t need her feeling sorry for me.
“The MC is your family though, right?” Nodding, I smile at her. So, smart.
