by Rosie James
After a moment, Angelina said, ‘Is someone looking after your husband while you’re here, Mrs Marshall?’
Mrs Marshall’s expression didn’t waver. ‘No. I told him he could look after himself for a change,’ she said. ‘Anyway, he’s not my husband. I’ve never been married.’
‘Really?’ Angelina was very surprised at this unexpected news. ‘But why …?
Mrs Marshall shook her head wearily. ‘Oh, well, you are far more respected if you are a married woman,’ she said. ‘It somehow places you on a higher level than if you are a spinster.’ She paused before going on. ‘So I decided that I would tell everyone my brother was my husband, and I’ve been looking after him since our mother died. We never knew our father, and I was 10 years old when I was given the task of bringing up my 5-year-old brother. And he’s never gone to school because he’s got mental problems.’
Angelina didn’t want to believe this sad story. Poor Mrs Marshall, poor short-tempered Mrs Marshall. Who could blame her if she was always cross?
Angelina cleared her throat. ‘So – is your brother capable of looking after himself?’ she asked gently.
‘Oh yes, he can do the essentials,’ Mrs Marshall said. ‘I’ve taught him that much. And my neighbour next door will look in to make sure he hasn’t done anything silly. But he’s a lazy beggar. It’ll do him good to stand on his own feet for a change.’
Angelina hardly knew what to say to all this, but Mrs Marshall hadn’t finished.
‘I want to say something else while I’m about it, Angelina,’ she said, ‘and it’s to explain why I always seemed to pick on you when you were a child.’
‘Oh, don’t worry about that!’ Angelina said. ‘That’s all in the past!’
‘It was because I was so envious of you,’ Mrs Marshall went on, determined to have her say, Angelina interrupted.
‘Envious of me, Mrs Marshall?’ she said. ‘Why would you possibly be envious of me?’
‘Because you were a Garfield orphan. I would love to have been brought up in the Garfield, or in any orphanage, to be looked after in comfort and safety’ She sighed deeply. ‘But it wasn’t only that. I was one of the first to see you when you … when you arrived … and it seemed as if a lucky star shone above your head. You were the most beautiful baby I had ever set eyes on, and everyone doted on you from the very beginning, giving you the sort of attention that I’ve never had in my life. As you grew up, it seemed that you could do nothing wrong. You were always clever and bright … you’ve been lucky, Angelina. Something I have never been,’ Mrs Marshall added. ‘And I am ashamed to admit that to be nasty and unkind to you gave me pleasure. Isn’t that horrible? But it seemed like fair justice that I could make you unhappy now and then … as if I was saying, there, see what it feels like to be miserable.’
Mrs Marshall tried to reach her drink on the table beside her, and Angelina immediately leaned over to get it for her. ‘Please don’t tire yourself, Mrs Marshall,’ she said. ‘Here – let me plump up your pillow.’
‘I just want to hear you say that you forgive me, Angelina,’ Mrs Marshall said. ‘Every time I made it difficult for you, especially when, you know, I spilt all that food on the floor and blamed you for it – I always felt sorry afterwards. But it was like a devil inside me, a devil I had no control over.’
Angelina smiled down at her kindly. ‘Mrs Marshall, you don’t need my forgiveness, you need my understanding. And I do understand it, I understand everything. You have had a very difficult, unenviable life, while I have been blessed. And you have worked so hard to support yourself and your brother, and you are tireless at the orphanage. What would Miss Kingston do without you?’
‘The orphanage – even before it was the Garfield – has been my salvation,’ Mrs Marshall said simply. ‘Even though I did not have its succour and comfort as a child, for the last thirty years it has been where I am most happy and content. I would have wanted to die if Mr Garfield hadn’t saved us.’
‘Well, he did, didn’t he, so that’s a lovely part of the story,’ Angelina said, turning to leave the ward. As she went, Mrs Marshall said, ‘It must be lovely to be you, Angelina, to have everything you’ve ever wanted, I mean. With all your cleverness and success, there can’t be a single thing that you still want … that you still wish for in life.’
Angelina turned back and smiled. ‘Good night, Mrs Marshall. I will see you tomorrow,’ she said softly.
Chapter 21
May 1921
‘Angelina! Hang on a minute! I’m just coming!’
Angelina turned to see Dennis racing through the long corridor towards her, his white coat flying. He reached her side and automatically took her hand. ‘I mislaid my notes,’ he said, ‘and stayed back to look for them.’
‘Angelina smiled. Dennis was always losing things. ‘Never mind – you could have copied up mine,’ she said.
‘What? And waste valuable time which could be spent far more pleasurably with my girlfriend?’ Dennis retorted. ‘Anyway, I found them, so the rest of the day is ours.’
The six young trainee doctors who’d all started their course in September had soon become close friends, usually meeting up in the canteen bar after their day shift for a coffee, or sometimes supper, before going home, or back to their quarters if they were on nights.
And it hadn’t taken long for Dennis Edwards to stake his claim on Angelina. He was a tall, lanky, 25-year-old with a shock of thick fair hair, and an infectious laugh which usually set everyone else off as well. At their first seminar, he had edged himself along the row to sit in the spare seat next to Angelina, smiling down at her as he’d introduced himself.
‘Hello. I’m Dennis Edwards,’ he’d said cheerfully. ‘Some may call me Dennis the Menace, but I’m perfectly harmless, I assure you.’
Angelina had smiled back immediately. ‘I’m Angelina Green,’ she’d said, ‘from St Thomas’s.’
He’d taken her hand. ‘How do you do,’ he’d said, straight-faced. Then they’d both started laughing, just as the lecturer arrived to take his place at the desk facing the row of eager-eyed trainees.
‘Good morning all,’ the lecturer had said, ‘and welcome to the first day of the rest of your lives.’ He had peered over his glasses. ‘And may all the Gods go with you.’
There was a dutiful titter from the students, and Dennis had whispered into Angelina’s ear, ‘Can I buy you a drink later? Because from what he’s just said I think we’re going to need a pick-me-up from time to time.’
‘All right – thanks,’ Angelina had said, realising that she had just been asked out on a date. Her very first! At almost 21 years old she had never had a boyfriend, nor been asked out. Unlike Ruby, who was now Robert Walker’s proper girlfriend – with his parents’ delighted approval, so it seemed. Ruby had become one of the family, and she was thriving on it.
But that first day in her new career was where Angelina and Dennis had begun their relationship. He was a man so easy to like, and such fun to be with. But more often than not, they were part of a crowd, and this evening, as usual, they were all meeting in the canteen bar for a chat and a catch-up.
The two made their way downstairs, stopping briefly for Dennis to leave his white coat in his room, then he slipped his arm around Angelina’s waist and pulled her in towards him. ‘It’s been a long few days, hasn’t it,’ he said. ‘And I start on nights next week. I wonder which one of us is going to throw in the towel and change our minds about all this?’
Angelina would like to have said ‘Not me!’ but she didn’t, because she didn’t want to sound a self-satisfied goody-goody. But it was certainly true that they had all found the first nine months of their course intense and demanding. The days were long, the night shifts seeming even longer, and they were tested relentlessly by the duty doctors – who seemed to delight in humiliating the trainees by shooting questions at them in front of patients and expecting immediate and accurate answers.
During their times off, the young trai
nees were constantly studying to prepare themselves for the next round of interim exams. Most of them had not known such physical, as well as mental pressure before, but for Angelina it was nothing new. It seemed to her that her nursing life had inoculated her against the effects of fatigue – even if her maths and physics had required a little extra time and tuition.
Now, before they reached the canteen, Dennis said, ‘We’ve both got the coming weekend off, haven’t we? My parents would love to meet you, Angelina, because I’ve told them so much about you. My father served during the war, so you’d have lots to talk about.’
Angelina groaned inwardly. She had tried to put her experience in France to the very back of her mind, and had only touched briefly on the subject to the others, never giving any details. The thought of spending a long weekend going over the whole deadly business with complete strangers had no appeal at all.
She smiled up at Dennis. ‘It’s kind of your parents to invite me,’ she said lightly, ‘but can I let you know? It’s just that I promised Ruby I’d spend a couple of hours with her in town on Saturday afternoon, because she’s got some time off and needs help with buying a new pair of shoes.’ Angelina crossed her fingers as she said that because, thanks to the Walkers, Ruby needed her less and less these days. In fact, it was very rarely – though the two girls still managed to make time for their long chats together whenever possible, and still shared all their secrets. But although Angelina really liked Dennis, she didn’t want to be rushed into an arrangement she might regret afterwards, and spending a weekend at his parents’ house might put a rather different stamp on things. Angelina wasn’t ready for that yet. Besides, she needed some time in the library to go over the physics paper she’d made such a mess of last week.
‘Okay,’ Dennis said easily. ‘Anyway, when you’ve finished in town after shopping with Ruby, we could go after that.’ He had met Ruby several times when he’d called for Angelina, and had taken to her immediately.
The others were already in the canteen bar when Angelina and Dennis arrived, and they automatically made room for them at the table. Tom, one of the older trainees, grinned over at them. ‘What kept you, Dennis?’ he said. ‘We thought you’d stopped off for an illicit hour in bed! We know they’ve given you a new mattress!’
‘No such luck unfortunately,’ Dennis replied. ‘Now, it’s Thursday night and time for a proper bevy – and I’m buying! What would everyone like?’
‘Well, that’s very generous, Dennis,’ Tom said heartily, ‘and as I’m aware that it’s your father’s money you’re spending I, for one, won’t hold back! I’ll have a Scotch on the rocks, and I bet Angelina could down a whole pint of vodka without stopping!’
There was a burst of laughter at that. Angelina seldom drank alcohol, and when she did it was a cider shandy which took her all the evening to finish.
The others all made their choices, and soon, with the long day over and the alcohol taking its effect, the noisy hilarity coming from the group as Dennis mimicked one of the more irritable senior doctors made other heads turn.
And then suddenly—
‘Angelina?’
And there he was …
Alexander was at her side, looking down at her, and Angelina nearly fainted with amazement and complete shock! What on earth was he doing here?
With her heart missing a beat and, her hand flying to her throat, she half-stood.
‘Alexander,’ she began. ‘What … why?’
He shrugged apologetically. ‘Sorry if I’m an unpleasant surprise – but I need to speak to you, Angelina … It is something rather important,’ he added.
Dennis stood up. ‘Do introduce us, Angelina,’ he said coolly, all his male instincts warning him that the new arrival suggested stiff competition. The man standing before them had immediately caught everyone’s attention, his tall stature and innate good looks instantly attractive to every curious eye.
Alexander apologised to the group gazing up at him. ‘My name is Alexander Garfield,’ he said, ‘and I am very sorry to intrude, but Angelina and I are, um, old friends from the past, and I have news which I know she would expect to be told. It is very serious, or I wouldn’t have bothered you, Angelina,’ he added, glancing at her.
Now Angelina’s heart began racing. This must be something very serious, or why would he have turned up here at the hospital without warning?
‘It’s not Mr Randolph, is it? He is not ill? Or … is Miss Kingston all right?’ Angelina’s voice trembled with anxiety as she spoke.
Alexander shook his head quickly. ‘No, my father and Miss Kingston are well, but – look Angelina, we can’t talk here. Could we possibly meet some time over the weekend? If you are free, of course?’
Angelina’s mind was reeling. What on earth was this all about? Whatever it was, there was surely nothing she could do about it! She hesitated before answering. ‘Sorry,’ she said, ‘but Dennis—’ she smiled and looked down at Dennis ‘—Dennis is my boyfriend -and his family have invited me to go with him to spend the weekend at the family home in the country. But I could meet you early next week if you like, say on Monday evening, Alexander?’ she added.
Had she really said that, she asked herself? Had she really played hard to get when it would have been simple to see him as he’d asked? But it had been a natural reaction not to comply – after all, he had played havoc with her emotions in France, eventually leaving her bewildered and neglected. And that was hard to forgive, and to forget.
He stood back and nodded. ‘Yes, that will be fine,’ he said. ‘Shall I come to your house … about eight o’clock?’
‘Yes – Miss Kingston will give you my address.’
Alexander looked down at her and their eyes met.
‘I know where you live,’ he said briefly.
After he’d gone, Tom whistled through his teeth. ‘Well, how many more male models do you know, Angelina?’ he said.
‘Yes,’ one of the girls murmured. ‘What a dish!’
Dennis was the only one who preferred to stay silent. Because, for some reason, Angelina had changed her mind about their weekend together. Now it seemed she was all for it. And the looks that had passed between those two had said a lot. There was something going on there, and he, Dennis Edwards, appeared to be a useful decoy for his girlfriend, for reasons, as yet, unknown.
Never mind, he was going to have his weekend away with the gorgeous Angelina after all, and that was good news indeed.
Though not such good news for Ruby, who’d have to choose her shoes all by herself.
Chapter 22
That same week, an event of some significance was to unfold at the Garfield Home for Children.
Across the road at the priory, the priest sat alone in the Confessional, that dark, sacred place of secrets and of restoration.
He sighed deeply. He had listened to three sad women this morning, all anxious to unload their guilt, but he was certain that they had truly repented and he had managed to reassure them that their sins were forgiven. And that they should now go in peace, and sin no more.
That was the point, of course. Go and sin no more.
For some reason, today would be the day that Laurence Dunn came to a decision. He was going to rid himself, once and for all, of the crushing weight of his own sin which he had shouldered alone for so many years. Well, he’d had no one else to tell, no one else who, by a few kind words, might have helped share his burden.
Sitting there quietly, with the consoling perfume of incense in his nostrils, he whispered, ‘Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.’
Well, that was a beginning, but where now? Could he really find the words to explain that once you had tasted such pleasure it was impossible to stop wanting it, to stop tasting it? And that part of that pleasure was in avoiding detection? He had played a cat and mouse game for so many years it had become as essential to him as actually enjoying the fruits of his misdemeanour. It was true that he’d almost been caught out, several times, but had got bet
ter and better at his deviousness. Practice had made perfect …
But, at last, his mind was finally made up. It was going to stop and there would be no going back. He grimaced at that thought. Never to partake of that delight, that joy, that unhurried experience, ever again?
Well, yes. Today was going to be the day, and he knew he would feel better afterwards, once he’d accepted that it was all over.
Crossing his legs, he leaned back thoughtfully. He had learned over the years to be kind to himself from time to time, and he decided that he was going to ease the painful transition ahead by having just fifteen more minutes of human pleasure. Just once more. His mouth watered at the thought. And those fifteen minutes were going to happen this evening – if he could get away with it.
It was Friday. He’d heard all the confessions, had read the daily service, and had taken private Mass to two of the parish invalids, so the rest of the day was his. And now his tummy told him that it must be dinner time. He glanced at his watch. Yes, it was midday, and he often went across to the orphanage about now. He thought about that for a moment and decided that he would stay here today and have some bread and cheese in the priory kitchen for a change. It seemed a good idea to keep clear of the orphanage until later. To lie low.
At nine-thirty, drawing his cloak around him, the priest left the priory and walked the short distance over to the orphanage. There was little sound and it was still not quite dark, approaching nightfall adding to his sense of adventure.
With his own key he let himself into the building, shutting the door behind him noiselessly. Then he waited. The place was absolutely silent – well, all the children would be safely in bed and asleep now. The priest knew all the routines and procedures. After all, he’d been part of the Garfield for so many years there was nothing you could tell Laurence Dunn about where and when the staff worked, what time the children had their meals, where they worked and played and slept. When it was quiet …
