by Rosie James
‘So, is being a good wife and mother is not something of value?’ Elizabeth’s voice was cold. ‘I have always done my best for you and your father, and I have been led to believe that my work with my charities has been fairly useful,’ she added huffily.
‘Of course, Mother,’ Honora said. ‘You are held in great respect in all you do, but … I am afraid the vision for my own future lies in another direction completely.’
‘And what vision is that? Jacob said. ‘What can you possibly want from life that we haven’t already given you, Honora?’
Honora didn’t hesitate. ‘My freedom, Father, my freedom to be myself to make my own decisions. Because surely parents should not expect to own their children?’ She leaned in towards them. ‘I’ve decided that I want to train for a career, to get my teeth into something solid, something necessary and important to others, and I’ve been thinking that possibly I would like to follow a law career in some way.’ She smiled. ‘I have spent quite a few afternoons sitting in on cases at the law courts to observe exactly what goes on, how everything is done, and I found it fascinating, absolutely fascinating. And I thought that maybe with the right instruction, I could achieve at least something in that direction. I know it would take a long time and a lot of training, and I’d have to pass exams, but I’m in no hurry. I wouldn’t mind waiting for years before actually getting a job, even a humble job,’ Honora said.
‘Getting a job?’ Elizabeth said faintly. ‘Why would any woman … a woman of any distinction … want a job? What’s the attraction? You’ll be telling us that you’d like to work in one of the factories next!’
‘Working in a factory wouldn’t bother me either,’ Honora said calmly, ‘but I have set my sights on something more intense, more demanding. I want to learn more about life.’ She paused. ‘I knew you wouldn’t understand.’
Jacob decided to move the conversation slightly. ‘You say that Alexander is happy about you breaking off the engagement? I’m sure he must be terribly upset. To be told that you no longer love him must have been extremely hurtful.’
‘No, he isn’t upset at all,’ Honora said flatly. ‘He saw my point of view straightaway.’ She leaned back on her heels before going on slowly, ‘We’ve had long discussions about all this, as you can imagine, and what neither of you understand is that although Alexander and I love each other dearly, and will always, always love each other, we’ve accepted that our true feelings are not those of a man and wife, but of brother and sister. Deep feelings, but not the feelings of lovers.’
‘Well, why on earth did you get engaged?’ Elizabeth demanded.
Honora shrugged. ‘Because you expected it,’ she said. From when we were quite small you – and Father – were always arranging for us to be together, treating us like twins, saying how well matched we were and of course we never argued it because we were so fond of each other. We were then, and nothing will change that. And when Alexander returned back safely after the war, the excitement and gratitude was overwhelming, and at the welcome home party it was you, Mother, who asked Alexander when he was going to pop the question.’
‘I don’t remember doing that,’ Elizabeth said sulkily.
‘Well, you did, but you had had rather a lot to drink,’ Honora said. ‘Besides, Alexander is so kind, he wouldn’t have wanted to hurt my feelings so of course he did ask me whether I would like to be his wife at some point in the future. And then it was Christmas, everyone was so thrilled that the country was no longer at war – it was like being caught up in a whirlwind of colourful emotions.’
Jacob got up from the sofa and took hold of Honora’s hands to raise her to her feet.
‘I can’t say that all this has come as welcome news, Honora,’ he said, ‘because – as you have already mentioned – your mother and I have always had the feeling that you and Alexander were meant to be together. But …’ Jacob cleared his throat. ‘We were clearly wrong, and all we want for you, my dear, is your happiness. If, as you say, you would like to try your hand at a career in the law, then you will go to the best college money can buy and we will see what happens after that.’
Honora put her arms around Jacob’s neck. ‘Thank you, Father,’ she said simply. ‘I want to make you proud of me, and I want to be proud of myself, to see what, if anything, I am actually capable of doing. I want to earn my own money, not keep spending yours.’
Elizabeth sat back utterly deflated. No wedding after all, no fusing of the Mason and Garfield families, despite all early expectations.
She sniffed. Never mind. She was still going to buy those two outfits she’d had her eye on, because there was sure to be some important future function or other when she could wear them.
She sighed heavily. It seemed that you could never be sure of anything with children.
Chapter 24
At eight o’clock on Monday as arranged, Alexander tapped on Angelina’s sitting-room door and waited. It opened almost immediately, and she stood aside for him to enter. She didn’t smile but looked up at him anxiously.
He spoke first, also unsmiling. ‘Did you have a pleasant weekend – with your boyfriend?’ he asked. ‘The weather must have been perfect for walking in the country.’
She frowned briefly. Why were they talking about the weather when she was waiting to hear the important news he’d said he had for her?
‘Yes, the weather was lovely,’ she said, ‘but what I want to know, Alexander, is what you had come to the hospital to tell me the other night. Your unexpected presence, and what you had to say – little though it was – left me feeling very disturbed. I thought something must be terribly wrong for you to take the trouble to seek me out as you did. And anyway, how did you know where I was – where I worked?’
‘Oh, I’ve always known where you are, Angelina,’ he said. ‘Wherever possible, my father is keen to be kept informed about all his children, particularly those for whom he has good reason to be especially proud. That is certainly so in your case, and he has never stopped telling me about your successful career and aspirations.’
Angelina shrugged apologetically. ‘Sorry about that,’ she said lightly. ‘But … do tell me what’s wrong, Alexander. I’m desperate to know why you felt you needed to tell me something important – and why you made the effort to come to the hospital to do it. I’m surprised you were able to track me down.’
‘That wasn’t difficult,’ he said, ‘because I’m working there myself at the moment – as from last week.’
‘What?’ Angelina was mystified. ‘You are working at UCL? Why?’
‘Because I am following in your footsteps, Angelina. I have switched my career to train as a doctor, and I’ve been on a team at Guy’s until now, though a few of us are on secondment here at UCL – just for four weeks.’ He smiled the disarming smile that always made Angelina’s heart flutter. ‘I’ve been expecting to bump into you,’ he said, ‘and of course, we trainees are all regular patrons of the canteen bar, which was the first place I thought of looking for you.’
Angelina sat down, finding it difficult to take in this unexpected news. But, annoyingly, she still didn’t know what he’d had to tell her that night. She pulled out their other chair, and he sat down next to her, moving in quite close. Angelina stared across at him.
‘And how is Honora?’ she said calmly. ‘Is she happy about what your new plans are? Does she see her future as being a busy doctor’s wife?’
‘Well, that is what I have come to talk to you about, Angelina,’ Alexander said slowly. He waited before going on. ‘The fact is, Honora has given me back her ring. We are no longer engaged to be married, and that situation will be permanent.’
For a few seconds, Angelina could do nothing but keep staring at him. This was the most unbelievable news … news she would not have expected in a million years.
‘But – I don’t understand,’ she said slowly. ‘You and Honora have always been so close, so … together … as a couple. What can have happened to make her change her min
d?’
Alexander shrugged briefly. ‘She has changed her mind about her whole life,’ he said. ‘She explained that she wishes for something more than being a wife and mother and has set her sights on – perhaps in the future – practising law.’ He half-smiled. ‘Honora is a very intelligent girl, and very determined. I hope she makes it. I really hope she achieves her goal.’
Angelina leaned forward towards him. ‘I’m so sorry, Alexander,’ she said quietly. ‘It must have been very hurtful to be – to be – told that Honora does not love you anymore.’
‘Oh, she hasn’t said that,’ Alexander said at once. Then, slowly, he went on, ‘I know Honora loves me very much – as I love her – and nothing will change that. But we now both realise that our feelings are not those of a man and his prospective wife, but more as two long-term friends. Two best friends.’ He smiled awkwardly. ‘Our engagement was a rather rushed affair, I’m afraid, born out of, well, excitement and gratitude that I had survived the war. And I have to say, very much egged on by Honora’s parents whose lifelong ambition has been that I should one day become their daughter’s husband.’ He sighed. ‘I’ve got to confess, Angelina, that Honora’s rejection came as a huge relief to me because I had been trying to find the right moment to do the same thing – to reject her. That is bizarre, isn’t it? She came to my aid so that I didn’t have to do the hurtful deed.’
‘So – were your feelings exactly the same as Honora’s?’ Angelina said, mystified at this news. ‘Had you realised that, after all, you were not ready for marriage because of your career hopes?’
‘Not exactly,’ Alexander said. ‘The fact is, I love someone else.’
‘Oh?’ Angelina said. ‘Have you known her long?’
‘Yes, all my life,’ he replied. ‘And I think I’ve always realised that she is the woman I want to spend the rest of my days with – if only she’ll have me.’
Then, in the silence that followed, he gently drew Angelina to her feet and looked deep into her eyes. ‘Angelina – you must know that I am talking about you,’ he said softly. ‘It is you that I love.’
‘Me?’ Angelina whispered, unable to cloak her incredulity.
‘Surely you remember France,’ he said, ‘and how I held you in my arms? And how you said you were sorry that we were kissing and I told you not to be sorry because I wasn’t sorry at all. And I wasn’t. For those treasured moments, I was in heaven! It was then that I finally realised that I had loved you for most of my life, not just because you are beautiful, but because you are clever and courageous. And you are kind, Angelina. You are a very, very special person.’
He waited before going on quietly. ‘When I brought my men to that Clearing Station, it never crossed my mind that I would see you there. The line of battle was a very long one. But from the moment I set eyes on you, I was transfixed by the way you were treating every one of the wounded – I just stayed and watched you going from one stretcher to another, consoling and reassuring each of them while dealing calmly with their bleeding, open wounds, with their cries for help. I watched you hold their hands, and smile down at them. They must have thought you were a visiting angel, because that is exactly what you looked like, Angelina.’
He held her to him tightly. ‘You are the most extraordinary woman I am ever likely to meet. It would be a privilege to be your husband – if you will have me.’
For a moment Angelina thought she might drop to the floor in a dead faint. This was her childhood dream come true! But had she really heard all those things, had he really said them?
Realising that he had taken her completely by surprise, Alexander said quietly, ‘I understand why you are hesitating Angelina, because your career will always be important to you, and rightly so. I would never wish to stand in your way and I would happily wait for you until you are fully qualified. Until you are ready to trust me with the rest of your life – and your future. Our future together.’
It was fortunate that he was holding her to him because Angelina’s knees were trembling. She dropped her head onto his shoulder, still finding it impossible to speak.
‘But perhaps I am going too fast, and taking too much for granted,’ Alexander went on. ‘Because it was obvious that your boyfriend – Dennis? – is very proud to be with you. Do you love him as much as he clearly loves you, Angelina? Because if so, forget everything I’ve said, and I will move out of your life once and for all.’
Now she clutched Alexander to her, nestling her face into his neck, loving the feeling of his strong frame melding with her soft curves. ‘How can you say such a thing, Alexander?’ she said, her whispered words muffled. ‘Of course, I do like Dennis very much. He’s great fun to be with, but you must know that I have worshipped you for as long as I can remember. I have dreamed that, one day, you would ask me to marry you, but that was all it was – a pointless dream. Why would you want to marry me when you had Honora? And why would I, a hapless orphan, ever hope to become a member of your important family? My dream didn’t make any sense, and it doesn’t now, really. Because I find it impossible to believe.’
Now he bent his head, tilting her chin to reach his lips. He kissed her, softly at first, then with such intensity it almost took her breath away.
She would never know how long they remained there together as he kissed her over and over again, whispering in her ear that he would love her for the rest of his life. But eventually he released her gently and gazed down.
‘Does that convince you, Angelina?’ he said. ‘Can I make you believe that we were meant to be together for ever?’
She pulled away, and gazed up into his eyes. ‘Yes, Alexander,’ she said softly. ‘I really believe that my dream has come true at last.’
He could see her tears beginning to well, and he closed his lips over her eye lids. ‘And does that mean that you agree to become my wife – at a point convenient to your career obligations?’ He smiled down at her. ‘I would never stand in your way, Angelina,’ he said, ‘because I am very well aware of how strong your ambitions have always been. It has already been proved that you have far too much to give to the world, and nothing should ever put a stop to that.’
She returned his smile, at last feeling herself begin to relax. ‘I know that in its own time everything will come right for us, Alexander,’ she said. ‘I hope to finish my degree, and eventually to become a surgeon – an ambition I have had for a long time.’ She snuggled into him again. ‘But somewhere in the middle of all that, I want a lovely white wedding with the man I will always adore. And that’s my promise, Alexander. To adore you for ever.’
He heaved a long sigh. What more could any man ask for? But Angelina hadn’t quite finished.
‘One advantage which all our children are going to have,’ she said, ‘is that they will be born into a loving family that would never abandon them and leave them to fate.’ She smiled. ‘Not only that,’ she murmured, ‘but, naturally, there are always going to be two doctors on hand to care for them and see them thrive.’
Chapter 25
December 1921
In his study, Randolph Garfield knelt down in front of the fire and picked up the poker to move the coals around a bit. They burned and crackled brightly, sending a warming glow into the room.
But Randolph didn’t need a fire to warm his heart, because he had not felt this happy for many, many years.
He glanced at the clock. Jacob would be here any minute for their usual get-together, and Randolph had selected a special bottle of red to go with the cold roast beef and sliced tongue they would be enjoying for their supper.
At eight o’clock Jacob Mason arrived, and soon the two men were sitting opposite each other. As usual, Jacob asked the perennial question.
‘So, Randolph,’ he enquired, ‘how is business? Good, I hope!’
Randolph nodded briefly. ‘Yes, thank you, Jacob. Despite the aftermath of the war and the ensuing pandemic, we have somehow come through – relatively unscathed. And you, Jacob? I did hear that you were h
aving some staffing problems at Mason Steel.’
Jacob brushed that aside. ‘Oh – nothing too serious,’ he said, ‘but of course quite a few of our men did not return from battle … and some of them were our best workers as it happens. Which was a nuisance.’
‘I’m sure it was more of a nuisance to them – and to their families – that they did not return,’ Randolph said tartly.
Aware of the rebuke, Jacob said, ‘Yes, yes of course. I did manage to track down some of them afterwards, and leave the back pay which their sons would have received … had they returned.’
He cleared his throat, deciding to change the subject. ‘And what of the Garfield, Randolph? I hear that it is still a highly successful and very happy enterprise. So I imagine you are not thinking of selling it, or passing it on to others – if someone would take it off your hands! An orphanage is never going to be an investment, and there can have been nothing in it for you apart from personal satisfaction.’
For a few seconds, Randolph found it hard to reply. He was not going to try and convince his friend – the friend he could cheerfully throttle at times – just what had been ‘in it’ for him, Randolph Garfield. No amount of money on earth could give him the satisfaction, the pure pleasure he had received over the years. When he had picked up that newborn baby off the street, it had changed his life. And as it was turning out, would go on doing so for ever
‘The Garfield Home for Children will remain just that for as long as it is possible to forecast,’ Randolph said quietly. He glanced at his friend. ‘And it will go on producing children of whom we can be proud – even though their provenance is rarely known.’
