by Maren Moore
My jaw tightens, my teeth beginning to ache from how tight I'm holding it. Fuck. This is the worst shit that could happen to us, now.
"I thought you were making a real effort. To be different, to be better. For our child. You truly had me fooled. All you've done is show me that you'll never change. You'll always be the playboy. This child and I don't fit your lifestyle, and we never will."
"Sophia, wait," I step towards her, and she takes a step backwards, "the girl is obsessed with me. I swear to you, I was at the rink, not with some girl that means absolutely nothing to me. You think I'd risk this? My family?” The word feels weird coming from my lips, but that's what we are, aren't we? Even as unconventional and ass backwards as it is, these girls are my family. "I would never disrespect you or make a fool of you. I love you. I love Ava, I would do anything for you. I’d never be with another woman.”
She crosses her arms over her chest while another tear falls from her eyes, another piercing arrow to my heart. "I just know what she said, Hayes. Isn’t this exactly who you’ve always been? Hayes the playboy. She knew exactly where you were just now. How did she know that?"
"Fuck, I don't know Sophia. I haven't even seen her since months before we even got together,” I run my fingers through my hair, frustrated.
“You never even asked me why it was that I hated you so badly. Don’t you remember how badly you hurt me when we were kids?”
What is she talking about?
She laughs haughtily, “Judging by the look on your face, you have no clue. You broke my heart, Hayes, and it never even crossed your radar. Remember ninth grade, when you and your friends decided to place that bet? The one that meant you’d take me to prom, and no one else thought I’d agree to it. St. James the nerd. Right?”
I try and think back to those days. Fuck, I was just a fucked-up kid.
“You asked me to prom, and I was so excited. I’d had the biggest thing for you for years, and finally, I thought, finally you’d noticed me. I was so much chunkier then, teased relentlessly for it. And finally, you had taken notice of me and the childish crush I had for you. I bought the perfect dress, spent hours on my makeup and hair, still pinching myself that Hayes Davis, the Hayes Davis, was taking a freshman, me, to prom.” She pauses, shaking her head, “Then seven came, and it went. Then eight, then nine, and you never showed up.”
What is she even talking about? Hell, I barely remember high school, period. I skated by in classes by the skin of my teeth.
Oh, fuck. When I was sick. I thought I told her I was out of my mind on every cough medicine in the world? Prescription strength stuff. I was sick as shit.
“I got the flu, Sophia, I hardly even remember prom night. I’m so fucking sorry that I hurt yo-“
She stops me, “That was the night I realized that no matter how much of a pedestal they put you on, you’d always be the same person who stood me up that night. Who took my already broken self-confidence, and made a fool of me. It might seem silly to you, to hold on to something like that, but I never forgot. Having to be around you most of my adult life because of Scott and Holly was just the icing on the cake. I trusted you. I stopped letting the past live in the future, and I trusted you. And all you did was prove me right in every way. That you’re still that boy who has no regard for anyone that he hurts.”
“Sophia, wait, stop le—“
“No. I won’t let you hurt me or Ava because you can’t commit to anything, or anyone.”
She slides the ring free from her finger, the same one that I just gave to her months ago, confessed my love. Every single word I meant, and I still do in this moment, even though she’s looking at me with so much hate in her eyes that it sends me back a few staggering steps.
“I can’t believe that I fell for it. I fell for you and all of the lies that you spewed, and I fell right into the trap. Now, we’re not kids in high school anymore, Hayes. Your actions have consequences. We’re not two kids who have nothing to lose. We have a daughter, and she will come first, always. My broken heart will take a back seat to her, always.”.
“We’re leaving and staying with Holly for a while. I need out of this house. I need to be anywhere that you aren’t right now. Burn the kitchen table, I’m scared you might get an STD from touching that.” She brushes past me, her sweet scent invading my heart in ways I never planned, and leaves me standing there with no clue what the hell just happened, or any idea how to fix it.
The next week is the worst form of torture. Sophia hasn't spoken one word to me, which is very fucking hard when all I can do is think about her and Ava and the fucking mess I’m in. She makes sure to send me photos of Ava and allows me to Facetime her whenever I want, but it’s just not the same. I miss my girls. I miss my woman, and I’m at a total fucking loss.
I want them home.
I fucking miss her. I miss her laugh and the way that her nose crinkles when a smell hits her that doesn't agree with her stomach. I miss watching her with Ava, cuddling her to her chest as she breastfeeds her, in complete awe of her strength.
I know now that even though I wasn't really with another female, Sophia's hurt runs deep. It’s the core reason she didn't trust me in the first place, and now I have to do whatever it takes to make it better. How could I not remember prom? Why didn’t I push harder to understand the bitterness between us all these years?
Truth be told, I’d thought it was our fucked-up way of flirting. I didn’t see how deep her betrayal ran—how much I’d truly hurt her. And I’ll spend forever making up for that.
The first thing I do is call Kyle and let him know what happened. I’m going to meet him downtown at the station in the next two hours to file an official restraining order and report for stalking. She took it too fucking far. She threatened my child’s safety. Who the fuck busts into the house of someone they had a one-night stand with?
A crazy person, that’s who. Which is why I’m following through with the report and restraining order, because she doesn’t get to think that’s okay.
It’s not. Next, I call the security company and have them come out to install a new state of the art system with every upgrade and customization they offer. When I get my girls home—and I will be getting them home—I want Sophia to feel completely safe and not worry that this will ever happen again.
Even though her issue is with me, not security, I need to know that they will be safe.
Now, I’m getting my girls, and I know exactly what I need to do.
I dial the one person who will be on my side, even if her loyalty lies with Sophia.
“Holly…”
Twenty-Four
Sophia
I hate him.
No, that's a lie. The same one I’ve been telling myself over and over since we arrived at Holly and Scott’s. I collapsed, sobbing, into my best friend's arms and prayed that this would be over soon. That the hurt would lessen and I could be the pillar of strength that Ava would need going forward.
But I hurt. I hurt so bad I can feel the pain in my bones. Aching. Reminding me of what I’ve lost.
I can't eat. I can't sleep. I can't stop feeling the bitter sting of betrayal when I think of Hayes. How could he do this? How could he rip our family apart...for a puck bunny?
He chose his old life and left me and Ava to find our way without him.
It hurts.
"Soph, do you want a sandwich?" Holly asks from the kitchen.
"No, thank you." I mutter.
Ava is staring up at me with wide, curious eyes, and I thank God for her. I can't imagine how much it would hurt if I didn't have my daughter by my side because, even through all of this, she brings me so much happiness. She's the only reason I've even been able to muster a smile in the past week.
Five whole days since I left him. Five days since I packed all of our stuff and came to stay with Holly and Scott. Five days since I've touched him or inhaled his scent.
The thought of those things brings another fresh batch of tears to my eyes.
"Soph, how about we take the kids to the park this evening? Get out of the house, stretch our legs, and get some fresh air. I think we could all use it."
Holly walks back into the living room and smiles at me. She pities me, and I hate that feeling worst of all.
"Sounds good." I give her a watery, fake smile that she sees right through.
"Maybe you should just talk to him, Soph. Hear him out—see what he has to say. It might surprise you."
I whip around to look at her, "You've talked to him?"
The traitor.
She shrugs, "No, but Scott has. He's hurting too, Soph. I've never seen Hayes like this."
"It doesn't mean he isn't guilty."
"I'm just saying. What if all of this is just a big misunderstanding?"
"I doubt it. I'm going to put Ava down for a nap; I'll be ready to go to the park tonight."
I get up and leave Holly in the living room. I'm hurt, and I don't want to hear sensibility from her. I want her to tell me he's an asshole and that she'll slash his tires with me if I want to, which I don't—but if I did. She's always been my ride or die, but right now it feels like she isn't picking a side.
And it causes me to doubt.
Should I have given him more of a chance to explain? What was there to explain about this? The evidence is there, cut and dry.
Right?
I sigh, rocking Ava to me, waiting for her curious, bright eyes to drift to sleep so I can let the tears I've been holding back fall.
None of this feels right. It doesn't feel right to have the man I'm hopefully in love with break my heart into a billion pieces. To have him betray me by doing the one thing I needed him to never do.
Make me lose my trust.
"Why did Scott want to drive the kids again?" I ask Holly. I'm starting to feel the slightest bit on edge, because it doesn't seem like we're headed in the direction of the park. "Holly, where are we going?"
She looks at me with a guilty expression, "Not to the park."
My eyes widen, "I knew it!" I sigh, "I knew you were up to something when you asked about the park. Tell me where we're going right now before I punch you in the vagina. Don't tempt me; I am feeling extra violent today."
"This is me, as your lifelong best friend, intervening and making sure you pull your head out of your ass and don't lose the man who loves you and your daughter with everything he has."
"So you are on his side? That's what you're saying?" I cross my arms over my chest, pulling my gaze from her.
"No, that is not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is that I'm not picking sides. I love you Soph, with all of my heart. Enough to mess with your life like it's my right if it means that I'll make you happy in the end. Just hear him out. Hear what he has to say. That's all I'm asking as your best friend: just hear him out."
I clench my jaw and continue looking out the window. It's a little too late to be able to say no, right?
We drive further and further out of town, closer to the bay side and soon, the same marina that this whole mess started at comes into view.
Well, if this isn't full circle. Holly interfering, again. Trapping us on the same boat, again.
"Really?" I ask.
She shrugs, "I'm just dropping you two off. This is all him." She puts the car into park and gets out, helping me with Ava's car seat and bag.
"Over there." She points to the yacht that we were supposed to have our photoshoot on.
What in the world is going on?
"I'm not going." I say, even though I feel childish throwing a fit over it. I'm hurt, and the last thing I want to do is come face to face with him.
"You're going. Trust me, Soph, okay?" Holly says softly before she pulls me in for a tight hug. I hug her back after a few seconds, then she releases me and nods towards the boat. "Go get your man."
Right.
My stomach is in knots. I glance down at my sleeping daughter and see a small smile on her face, and it gives me the courage to get this over with.
If anything, maybe it will offer some closure.
I find the boat that's lit up with a string of lights, sparkling and bright; they call out to me like a beacon, the name "Ava Marie" scrawled across the side, and I know I'm in the right place. The nerves in my stomach jumble around, making me nauseous about coming face to face with Hayes for the first time since I left.
And just like that, he appears from the side of the boat, looking so handsome, so perfect that it causes my stomach to turn. Even with how angry and betrayed I feel, I can't help my body’s reaction to him.
He's wearing a tux, complete with a bow tie, and his hair is gelled and not falling into his face like usual. He looks breathtaking, and oh does he steal the breath right from my lungs.
The closer I get, the heavier each step toward him feels. Finally, I make it to the opening that beckons me on, asking for me to step back onto the boat that brought us together in the first place, but my hurt supersedes the feelings from the last time I was here.
"Hi," he whispers, giving me a sad grin. It's the least favorite one I've ever seen upon his lips, but it's beautiful nonetheless.
Hayes Davis could be the devil himself, with the smile of an angel, and still blind everyone in the room with how handsome he is.
"Hi," I say back.
"Thank you for coming."
"Didn't have much of a choice."
He nods, "Holly."
"Yeah."
He steps forward to see Ava, and I instinctively flinch when his tuxedoed arm brushes mine.
"Sorry," he says, but the hurt is written on his face.
"Don't be. She's smiling now," I say, nodding towards Ava.
"Hey, Daddy's sweet girl," he coos as he unbuckles her from her seat and pulls her out, clutching her tightly against his chest.
Then I almost regret leaving in the first place, no matter how hurt I am. Almost. It’s not as if I’m taking Ava from him. I would never do that. I just have to put space between the two of us, and her being attached to my boob twenty-four seven means she’s coming with me.
"Daddy has missed you so much, Rook. So much."
My heart is ready to explode at the exchange, and I can't help the tears that well in my eyes. This just feels all wrong. My family completely ripped in half by his horrible decisions.
I wish that we could rewind time—erase it all and go back to the love that surrounded us daily when we were together.
"Sophia?" he asks, pulling me from my thoughts.
The next thing I know, he's carrying Ava and her car seat onto the boat with me following closely behind. The gentle sway and rock of the waves is calming, and I pause for a second, taking a deep breath and trying to gain my composure.
I know that what happens next will change us, and part of me isn’t ready for it.
Hayes sets Ava back in her carrier, then places her soft pink blanket on top of her, tucking her in, all the while telling her how much he loves her.
"Sophia, I know you are angry at me. And the last place you want to be is here, but please hear me out and listen to what I have to say."
I cross my arms over my chest and take a seat on the bench opposite of him.
"Fine."
He nods, then pulls a paper from the inside pocket of his jacket. I wish I could run my finger along the furrowed part of his brow that's bunched in frustration. Angry as I am, I can't help my pull to him.
"You're probably wondering why here?"
I nod, but say nothing.
"I bought it."
My jaw hangs open in shock, "Wait, you what? Hayes...this yacht has to cost millions of dollars." My mind reels at the price tag, and yes, he's a wealthy professional hockey player, but a yacht?
"Doesn't matter. This yacht will forever be a pl
ace of happiness for me. It's where I fell for you for the first time, and didn't even know it yet. Watching you dance around, drunk off your ass from cheap tequila, to that god awful nineties music that made my fucking ears bleed. God, I was crazy for you. I should've realized it then."
I bite my lip to hold back a smile.
"And then, the Ava is where we made Rook. It's her namesake, and it's important to me. I want it to be a part of our lives. I know you're angry, St. James, and if I was you, blindsided by something like that, I would be too. But I want you to know I would never cheat on you. I would never betray you. and I would never do anything that would harm our family."
He walks closer and holds out the piece of paper he took out of his jacket. My hand shakes as I take it and run my eyes down it as best I can with only the dim lights from the yacht. What I think I'm looking at is a police report. I see...stalking and a restraining order?
"What is this?"
"That's the police report that I filed, as well as the restraining order that was filed against her. If she comes within a thousand feet of any of us, including you, she's going to jail. I didn't sleep with her, Soph. Fuck, I didn't even think of that woman until you brought it up to me. All I've seen is you; that's why I was so shocked when the name dawned on me. The fact that she showed up to my home, which she had never been to by the way, and pushed her way inside? Fuck no. Our home is a place where we're supposed to feel safe, and for someone so crazy to pull some shit like that…I wasn't playing around." He sits next to me on the bench and takes my hands, looking me in the eyes. I can see his sincerity, and I feel the walls of my heart beginning to crack, "I upgraded the security system to a fucking fortress. If anyone comes within a hundred feet of the house and does anything including sneeze, the police department will be there in three minutes or less. Not that I think she'll be a problem anymore. With her name plastered on social media for stalking me—thanks to Kyle and the story he leaked—she's probably on her way out of the country."
"If you want to move out of the house and find another one, I'll sell it. We can pick a house out together. Fix it up, build it—I truly don't give a shit as long as I have my girls home."
