The duke stopped pacing and growled angrily at himself. He was well aware that she was only a maid, with no nobility or rank for that matter, and there would be no future together for them. It perplexed him that he had even considered the possibility of whether she reciprocated these feelings. The duke was not familiar with feelings such as the ones which appeared whenever Emma was near. His heart pounded in his chest, and his palms became damp, but he felt confident.
No, he could not simply disregard his role in the family for a young woman of such low class. His feelings meant nothing, and there would never be anything between him and Emma. There could not be. She was a lowly maid, and the duke was determined to forget about Emma, or the thought of her.
It was something that would never be.
Perhaps this was the reason why he had decided to court Lady Laura, as a means to prove to himself, and to society that he was the man his father had been. The duke could only imagine his mother and Lady Sarah’s reactions if they had to learn of his affection for the young maidservant. It did not matter any longer, none of his feelings did, and he would simply set them aside and forget about them.
Out of sight and out of mind.
The trouble with that was he would still see Emma at his estate. He could not simply release her from his employment, as Lady Sarah and the dowager duchess would have a hundred questions. Questions he could not answer.
The duke glanced out of the large window and stared at the moon which floated high in the sky. He had not realized it was already past midnight, but he was not in the least fatigued. Leitshire Hall was quiet, but the duke did not wish to fall asleep yet, as his mind was still in turmoil. It did not matter how hard the duke tried; he could simply not forget about Emma. He was well aware he had to, but it was difficult.
A soft knock on his door made him jump, and his heart leapt for a moment. With a strange hope in his heart, he opened the door, wishing it would be Emma who stood on the other side, but what would he say to her?
It would also be very inappropriate for her to knock on his door this time of the night.
The duke opened the door and there stood Lady Sarah.
“Sister,” the duke said in surprise. “What on earth are you doing here? Should you not be asleep?”
“I should, but my mind is restless,” Lady Sarah answered. “May I come in?”
“Of course.”
Lady Sarah entered the chamber. “I did not wake you, did I?”
“Not at all. I could not sleep myself,” the duke answered.
“And why is that?” Lady Sarah inquired and sat on the chaise with stood in the far corner of the chambers.
“Many things seem to occupy my mind.”
“I can only imagine. It was quite a surprise that you announced your betrothal to Lady Laura at dinner. I did not imagine this was what you considered a business trip.”
“It is in fact a business arrangement. Lady Laura is a very suitable and sought-after young woman from a prominent family and the marriage will benefit both our families,” the duke answered.
Lady Sarah cringed and shook her head. “You make it sound rather impersonal.”
“What did you expect me to say? That I love her and cannot wait to spend the entirety of my life with her?” the duke scoffed.
“It does sound better.”
“Then I am deeply sorry to disappoint you, my dear sister. That is not the way the world works.”
“May I ask you a question, brother?” Lady Sarah asked.
“You may ask me anything,” the duke answered.
“Have you ever been in love?” Lady Sarah asked.
“In love?” he asked incredulously, and Lady Sarah nodded. “Love is relative.”
“What on earth does that mean? Do you not believe in love?” Lady Sarah asked.
“Love makes us weak and irrational, and it causes us to think illogically about important things. Love is something that inconveniences us when it feels like it.”
“Has it ever inconvenienced you, brother?” Lady Sarah asked, glancing intently at the duke, her brow raised suspiciously.
The duke swallowed and stared at her for a moment. He was convinced she knew of his feelings for Emma, but he was most certainly not about to admit it to her. He was not that foolish or naive. Even if it happened to slip that he had a fondness towards the maidservant, Lady Sarah would not forgive him. Lady Sarah, who observed to an absolute fault the succession and ethics observed in the peerage, would not allow social classes to mix, and she would no doubt do what she could to keep her brother away from Emma, and keep Emma away from him. Perhaps she had already spoken to Emma, which meant she suspected something. Had he cast too many furtive side glances at Emma in the coach on their journey to Cheltenham?
Had his eyes rested on her beauty for a moment longer than was necessary, and been observed by the keen eyes of Lady Sarah?
“Not at all,” the duke answered with cold indifference. “Why would it?”
“It sounded as though you have experience in the matter, by the words you used, but I must have been mistaken,” Lady Sarah muttered, glancing around his chamber.
It was a masculine bedchamber, decorated in a deep blue and golden accents. The dark wood was polished to a smooth sheen and the air smelled of musk and sandalwood. The heavy drapes were still drawn back, allowing the silver light of the moon to illuminate the candlelit chamber. The duke’s dinner jacket neatly lay on the reading chair, and his book was still untouched beside it.
“Is something the matter, brother?” she asked after a long pause, sensing a hint of discomfort from the duke.
“Why would something be the matter?” the duke was quick to answer.
“If there is something you wish to inform me of, please do so.”
The duke turned to her and they proceeded to stare at one another, neither one of them blinking. It was the manner in which they established dominance and they would not cease before one of them turned away first.
The duke, who had been raised to be a strong man, but also sensitive to the needs of his sister, was always the first to turn away, but not this night. Turning away would prove that he had something to hide, and he was not going to allow Lady Sarah to make him doubt himself.
Never again.
Lady Sarah narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips. Then, from out of nowhere, she stood from the chaise and blinked. “I was mistaken.”
The duke breathed a silent sigh of relief, but clearly Lady Sarah was not giving up easily. “Do you think Emma is beautiful?”
“Emma, your maid?” the duke asked.
“Are you acquainted with another young woman named Emma?” Lady Sarah retorted. “Yes, my maid, Emma.”
“She is a lovely girl. She keeps your bedchamber in an immaculate state.”
“That is not what I asked,” Lady Sarah muttered and crossed her arms.
“What exactly is it that you are asking me, sister?”
“Do you think she is beautiful?” Lady Sarah repeated.
The duke hesitated, but finally answered, “I do.”
Lady Sarah raised a brow, but it soon furrowed. “Hold on a moment. How do you know my bedchamber is immaculate?”
“That was your request to her, was it not?” the duke stammered.
“Indeed,” Lady Sarah nodded. “Have you been to my bedchamber when I was not there, but Emma was?”
“She was the only person who—”
“Whom you could speak to?” Lady Sarah interrupted.
“Who knew your whereabouts,” the duke finished. “Do you hear yourself, Sarah? Can you honestly say that you suspect me of fornicating with the help? She is a maidservant. She is beneath me.”
“I am delighted and utterly relieved to hear you say that. If this were to be heard—”
“There is nothing to be heard, Sarah,” the duke said firmly and slammed his fist against the wall. “It is not true. I do not have feelings for the maid!”
Lady Sarah pursed her lips
and nodded. “Very well. I am truly sorry if I have upset you, brother. Clearly being in a strange place is not doing my head any favors. I am becoming delusional and suspicious of you.”
“There is no need to apologize, sister. While I do not appreciate the suspicion you carried of me, I am however thankful you came to me to discuss it first before resorting to other measures,” the duke said.
“You will not speak a word of this to Mother, will you?” Lady Sarah asked wryly.
“And have another member of my family be suspicious of me? Not likely,” the duke chuckled.
“Thank you, brother. I do not deserve your kindness.”
The duke approached Lady Sarah and placed his hand on her shoulder. “We all make mistakes, Sarah. I will not hold it against you. Ever.”
Lady Sarah smiled gratefully and nodded. “I must retire to my bedchamber. I will see you at breakfast.”
“Sleep well, sister,” the duke smiled at her.
“You as well,” Lady Sarah said before leaving his bedchamber.
The duke sighed and ran his fingers through his disheveled hair and stared out at the moon, wondering whether it had been a good thing that he had lied to Lady Sarah. He had had no choice, or his sister would have screamed and shouted at him, judging him for having feelings for a maidservant. Guilt rose up inside him, as he did not make it a habit of telling untruths to his sister, or any members of his family. He considered himself an honest man, but there were certain exceptions.
His brow furrowed as he tried to justify lying to his sister, but deemed it a necessity. As the light of the moon fell on the gardens below, the duke wondered whether Emma was thinking of him as well.
Or perhaps he should accept that they were from different worlds, and the chances of their love surviving were less than miniscule.
Still, he could always dream about her. At least in his dreams, their love was safe from prejudice and disapproval.
***
The morning the duke, Lady Sarah, and Emma were to depart Leitshire Hall and return to Bathampton, Emma brought down Lady Sarah’s luggage, with the assistance of Timothy, the strapping young coachman.
Emma had thought he was quite lovely, although he was still quite a few years older than she was, but he was a kindhearted young man and she enjoyed his company. It was a welcoming chance, as both Lady Sarah and the duke seemed to be constantly annoyed when she was in their presence. Emma was not certain what had happened, but she did not utter a word, or show any form of defiance. She merely did as she was told, as she could not risk being sent away from Collier Manor. She had nowhere else to go, and Collier Estate had become her home.
As Emma and Timothy reached the coach, Timothy and the other coachman loaded the luggage onto the coach. Emma heard Lady Sarah and the duke thank their hosts for welcoming them into their home, and offer their farewell greetings.
Emma opened the coach door as the duke and Lady Sarah approached.
“You will ride in the front, with Timothy,” Lady Sarah said dismissively, without even giving Emma a passing glance.
“My lady, I do not—” Emma stuttered, but the sharp tone to Lady Sarah’s words caused her to stop speaking.
“I do not care to repeat myself, Emma.”
Emma glanced at Timothy, who presented her with a perplexed expression, but a hint of a smile on his lips.
Emma was hurt and felt as though she had been betrayed by Lady Sarah, whom she had been under the impression was her friend, but Emma had to have known that Lady Sarah had only been friendly out of duty, and not because she was being sincere. The reality stung, and Emma lowered her gaze, at the risk of revealing her tear-filled eyes.
Lady Sarah and the duke climbed aboard the coach and the door slammed even before Emma was able to close it.
Another knife in her back.
Timothy reached out his hand, sitting atop the ledge where he and the driver sat, and helped Emma up. She sat beside him and pursed her lips.
“Are you all right?” he asked.
“Could we begin our journey home now, Timothy?” the duke called out from inside the coach, with much impatience in his voice.
Timothy rolled his eyes, but answered rather politely, “Of course, Your Grace.”
Timothy cracked the reins of the horses and the coach moved homeward, or towards Collier Manor.
It was not her home any longer, as she had thought.
“I am fine,” Emma whispered to him, and he pursed his lips.
“It does not seem this way. Your eyes are very revealing,” Timothy whispered in return.
“My eyes?”
“They are the doors to your soul, or windows, I am not too certain, but they show what is truly in your heart,” he answered, “and what I see now is only pain and sorrow.”
“There is no use to speak of it. There is nothing I can do,” Emma said.
“Perhaps,” Timothy replied with a smile. “but I am happy to have you here beside me. I enjoy your company very much.”
“Thank you, Timothy. Your words are kind, and for that I am grateful,” Emma sighed.
“It is my pleasure,” Timothy grinned. “Now, allow me to show you the lovely countryside from the view of the driver’s box.”
“That does sound truly delightful,” Emma smiled.
Emma felt rather lucky to be seated beside Timothy for the entirety of the journey back to Bathampton, and despite the ache in her heart at Lady Sarah’s harsh words, as well as the harshness of her and the duke’s actions the past few days in Cheltenham, she remained positive. Timothy was a delightful and well-spoken young man who had a vast knowledge of horses and coaches, and she listened to tales of the farm he had grown up on with his father and five brothers.
She was so captivated with his words and the enthusiasm he showed while telling those tales that she nearly forgot about the duke and his square jaw and deep brown eyes.
Even if it was only for a moment.
Chapter Four
June 1814
Collier Manor
Bathampton
Kent, England
Nearly a fortnight had passed since their visit to Cheltenham, but the duke still could not manage to forget about Emma. She was constantly present, and having her so close, yet so far, was both infuriating and heartbreaking to the duke. The duke had ensured he saw her as often as he could by stopping by his sister’s chambers more often in search of her. Many times Lady Sarah was present, but on the odd chance Emma was alone, the duke took the chance to speak to her.
At first, and quite understandably so, Emma was reluctant to engage in conversation with the duke, and simply answered him with the necessary words. She did not elaborate much with regards to her answers, and did not tell him anything he did not ask.
The duke was well aware she was wary of him, and it pained him to see her distance herself from him. The duke even noticed that Emma’s interaction with Lady Sarah was also somewhat strained. Emma did not accompany Lady Sarah while she and the dowager duchess traveled into town, and Emma was only to serve Lady Sarah by maintaining the tidiness of her bedchamber, as well a dressing her. While she was not fulfilling those duties, Emma was sent to the kitchen to assist.
One sunny morning in June, the duke made his way to Lady Sarah’s bedchamber, hoping Emma would be there. He was well aware Lady Sarah was having tea with a group of young women who were roughly the same age as she was, and she would not be back for many hours. As hoped, Emma was changing Lady Sarah’s sheets when he stepped into the bedchamber.
“A good morning to you, Emma,” the duke said brightly, hoping his cheerful demeanor would allow Emma to engage more.
Reluctantly, Emma greeted him in return, without glancing at him. “Good morning, Your Grace.”
The duke approached the bed and leaned against the bedpost.
“My lady is not here, Your Grace.”
“I am aware,” the duke answered with a small grin. “I believe she is having tea with the daughters of the noblest
men in town.”
“My lady will certainly feel as if she belongs there,” Emma muttered, while continuing to strip the bed. A pile of fresh sheets was stacked on the pedestal beside her, waiting to be spread across the bed.
“Indeed she would. She certainly behaves as a nobleman’s daughter.”
“The highest of the highest, Your Grace,” Emma answered blankly, a hint of annoyance in her tone.
“It is a lovely day, is it not? A perfect day for a stroll through the gardens,” the duke said as he glanced through the large window overlooking the lush green gardens of the estate, scattered with bright colors of the flowers in full bloom. Hues of pink, yellow, and orange contrasted perfectly against the greenery.
“Perhaps Your Grace could call upon Lady Laura. She would certainly find that delightful,” Emma retorted as she whipped the fresh sheets into the air, allowing them to float freely down over the bed.
“Emma, may I ask you a question?” the duke asked.
“I believe you already have, your Grace.”
“Is there something the matter? Have I angered you in any way?” the duke asked.
Emma glanced up at him and narrowed her eyes. “Your Grace, with all due respect, you have not been the most gracious of employers, especially since our arrival back from Cheltenham. If you dislike me as much as it seems, why on earth do you insist on speaking to me as if there is nothing wrong?”
The duke shifted his weight, and lowered his gaze. The words Emma spoke were true. He had been rather intolerable of her of late, and the guilt rose up inside him. The duke wished he could tell Emma of his feelings for her, but it would be both inappropriate and embarrassing if his feelings were not reciprocated.
“I wish to apologize for my behavior of late, Emma.”
“There is no need to apologize, Your Grace. I do understand that classes should not mix, especially not high nobles and servants. What I do not comprehend is Your Grace’s sudden interest in conversing with me.”
“Perhaps I have realized the error of my ways and wish to know more of you,” the duke answered.
Ruining the Duke Page 3
