by Cindi Madsen
“See how Phoenix reacts to Winston? How he nudges her whenever her head droops?”
Tanya stepped on the bottom plank of the gate to get a better view of her three-legged goat and recovering horse. “He came in first thing, bleating for attention, so I let him inside with us, and now Phoenix is up on her feet and eating again.”
Mom smiled. Pops crossed his arms with a huff.
Neither reaction surprised Tanya. While she had their undivided attention, she quickly pushed on with the idea the animals had given her. While her romantic life might be currently strewn with tumbleweeds she’d set on fire, inspiration for a career had struck and spread. “I’ve finally figured out what I was meant to do with my life. I want to build another set of stables on the back twenty and start a horse rescue ranch. Maybe other animals, too, but the majority will be horses, since I can do the most good there.”
A scowl etched Pops’s grizzled face, as if she’d suggested they paint the barn neon pink and force all the animals and staff to wear matching tutus. “Not another one of your harebrained schemes.” He shook his head. “It’s like the spa idea all over again. As if we want a bunch of sissies here to get their nails done. Give someone a manicure and then they’ll balk at riding a horse or throwing a lasso.”
For the record, a lot of dude ranches were opening a spa area to attract a wider audience. It appealed to family or coworkers who weren’t quite ready for “roughing it,” which hardly applied considering the state of the cushy cabins. The spa would also bring in local business to help with the off-season. That hadn’t been her dream, though—just a profitable idea that’d been immediately shot down. “This is different. It’s something I’m passionate about, and I can do it on the side, so you’ll still have my help with the rest of the ranch.”
Pops’s wiry mustache twitched in dismay. “Let me get this straight. I tell you to stop bringing home strays, and you take that to mean you should open an animal shelter on my ranch? The ranch that’s been in my family goin’ on four generations?”
His ranch. His family’s ranch. The words gouged, a dull knife he wielded to prove he was the toughest SOB out there. Females couldn’t pull as much weight, and woe was him for having a daughter who’d eventually inherit the ranch instead of a son. Tanya had pushed harder and faster, merely to prove she wasn’t a detriment, but regardless of her accomplishments, Pops would never change his stance. It shouldn’t sting as badly anymore, yet pain radiated from the center of her chest anyway. Perhaps she hadn’t been ranching as long, but these days, she and her “other stray” Miguel did the lion’s share of the physical labor.
Stomping her foot wouldn’t demonstrate maturity, so she resisted the urge. “If you’re so worried about the land, I’ll pay rent. I’ll even take out a loan for the stables myself. I’ll do whatever it takes to make this work—that’s how badly I want it.”
Before Pops could completely shoot it down and end the discussion for all eternity, Tanya appealed to Mom. “I started thinking about all the injured and abused horses out there. The ones people don’t think are worth enough effort to heal. Mistreated rodeo animals, and those deemed weaker and then promptly discarded.” A lump rose in her throat, so much sorrow and passion piling up that swallowing became impossible. “I could heal the horses, rehome some of them, and make a real difference.”
Mom made a hmm noise, a flicker of interest lighting her eyes.
I’ve done it. I’ve finally gotten through to her, and she’s the only one who has a chance in hell of getting through to Pops. “Please just give me a chance to prove myself. I promise not to let you down.”
Mom glanced at Pops, and just like that, the flicker extinguished. “While we appreciate your enthusiasm, Pumpkin, it’s not a sound business move for us right now. We simply can’t afford to build a new stable and take in every stray.”
While Tanya had always admired the fact that her mother would do anything for her father, she also went above and beyond to shelter a man who lit matches with his whiskers. The same man who spared no insults if he deemed you lazy, too slow, or in need of “more motivation.”
Pops cast her the admonishing expression she’d been painfully familiar with growing up and said, “Work isn’t always fun, Tanya. Dreams are for the independently wealthy, which we certainly are not. Someday you’re going to have to grow up and learn that.”
With that, Pops stormed out, and Tanya worked at not letting her knees buckle. She’d failed at snagging Brady, but in her excitement over finally knowing what she wanted to do with her life, she’d managed to forget about that for a moment.
Only to be told no, like she was a little kid.
As if they sensed her rising anxiety, both Winston and Phoenix wandered closer. Tanya let her hand roam over the goat’s spine and then lightly scratched the white diamond on the mare’s nose.
Tears welled, blurring the soothing horsey face. On autopilot, Tanya scooped up salve and smothered one of the bigger cuts on the horse’s chest.
Mom stood by, a silent sentinel. Then she lifted a brush and combed through Phoenix’s mane. “How can someone do this to one of God’s creatures?” Her jaw set, a rare flash of outrage filling her green irises. “How can they see the bones sticking out like that and not do anything about it?”
“I have no idea,” Tanya said, “because I had to act. You know it was the right call.”
Mom hesitated and then slowly nodded. “I’d have done the same thing.”
“Can’t you tell Pops that? There are so many horses out there who need someone to save them, and I could use your help convincing him to let me do it.”
Her mother’s long-suffering sigh was answer enough.
“So you can’t admit to Pops that you agree with me about the horse? Can’t tell him that I came back from college to help out? Does that about cover it?”
A mishmash of pleading and warning twisted Mom’s features. “He’s a proud man.”
Every muscle in Tanya’s body tensed. “Well, you know what they say. ‘Pride comes before a fall.’”
“You want him to fall?” Mom asked. “You’d take that away from him now, when he’s nearing the end of his career?”
Part of her did. Shouldn’t he have to live in the real world like everyone else? He was the one who constantly preached on and on about how harsh it was, as if he’d been preparing her for war from the time she could fit in a saddle.
But it’d crush the mountain of a man, and Tanya did want him to be able to retire on a high note.
She turned to fully face her mother and asked the question she both wanted and didn’t want to know the answer to. “After all the work I’ve put into the ranch, can’t you at least talk Pops into giving my idea a chance? If I can come up with a business plan and run facts and figures?”
Mom’s face went slack as she hunched up her shoulders, her posture guarded.
Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. Tanya had worked so hard on stifling her headstrong nature, on thinking things through and always being ready for anything the elements threw at her, and it hadn’t made any difference. Her dream bubble burst right before her eyes. “Is there anything I can do to get him to change his mind?”
Crazy how such a tiny shake of a head could slam into her so strongly. “I’m afraid not.”
“But maybe if—”
“Let’s go on inside and start dinner,” Mom said. In other words, there would be no speaking up on her behalf for her idea.
The lump in Tanya’s throat morphed a stopper that didn’t allow air in or out.
More than anything, she wanted her best friend. But she couldn’t even call him because she’d gone and screwed everything up.
Chapter 10
Once a month, Tanya met up with the ladies from Turn Around Ranch for a ladies’ night at the Tumbleweed Bar and Grill. Usually, it didn’t tangle her stomach in knots, but on this particul
ar Tuesday night, she settled at a table in the back corner and gnawed at her fingernails.
What if they asked about Brady? Had they heard about how she’d lost her temper and called him an asshole? Would his mother be upset about that, or would she understand?
Then again, understanding required explaining, and no way in hell was Tanya going to go there. She’d made a big enough mess already, and tonight she got to lie in the bed she’d made.
Customarily she, Kathy, Jess, and Liza rode into town together so they’d always have a designated driver. However, after dinner at the dude ranch, Mom asked Tanya if she’d do the grocery shopping. Worse, she asked her to take Pops along, as if they’d get into a vehicle together and suddenly realize they saw eye to eye.
But Pops had also been in Mom’s hair, asking for something every five minutes, in spite of the fact that he’d been reading an outdoor life magazine while Mom attended to the guests. Mom would never refuse him, though, and Tanya’s suggestion for Pops do the grocery shopping himself was met with exasperation. The few times he’d gone before, he’d called five times, sent two texts, and still showed up with only half the items.
Sometimes Tanya wondered if he was helpless at those sorts of tasks on purpose. The man could rope and shoe horses and haul bales. He could track animals by their hoof or paw prints, where they’d bedded, and their scat. But he couldn’t maneuver a labeled grocery store aisle?
Tanya called bullshit.
The ride to town had been full of grating silence, so she’d made a deal with Pops that she’d let him hang out at the fish-and-bait shop while she did the shopping if he would drive the groceries home. She’d considered using the errand as an excuse to miss girls’ night, but the truth was, she desperately needed to talk—not about Brady. But literally anything else.
She was already at the Tumbleweed when Kathy, Jess, and Liza entered, chatting and laughing, and Tanya sat up straighter and propped her lips up in a smile. She stood as they approached the table, and Kathy pulled her into a warm embrace.
“It feels like we’ve hardly seen you lately.”
“I’ve just been, uh, busy with…” Learning how to seduce your son and then blowing any chance I had by losing my temper. Tanya reached up and twisted a curl around her finger. “The dude ranch and getting ready for our preshow rodeo.”
“You and Brady. Always with the extra competitions.”
His name caused Tanya’s heart to stutter, and she forced out a laugh that morphed into a titter. In order to cover her awkwardness, she gave Jessica and then Liza hugs. “How are you gals?”
“I haven’t burned anything this week,” Jess proudly said.
Liza slumped into the nearest chair. “The twins have been extra rambunctious the past few days. They’re egging one another on, and it’s like if one makes a mess, the other has to outdo that mess, and I’m outnumbered.”
The rest of their group settled into their seats, and Kathy reached across the table and patted Liza’s hand. “Why don’t you bring ’em on over to me when they’re like that, hon? I don’t mind givin’ you a break.”
“You do more than enough. I feel bad about how much you already watch them.”
Kathy harrumphed. “If you recall, those were the terms of you taking the job. I provide the childcare.”
“Yeah, during the day. Elise and Everett just came without one of those handy ‘off’ buttons for nighttime. Plus, I feel like I’m neglecting them too much as it is. They’re angels for everyone else, and then we get home and it’s like, boom.” Liza slammed a palm down on the table. “Cranky nightmare children. It’s been that way since they both cut out their naps. And if they do take one, they have even more energy, so I’m honestly not sure which is worse.”
Liza rubbed her eyes and picked up her menu. “Just ignore me. I’m sleep-deprived and being melodramatic.”
“No, you’re not,” Jess said, scooting her chair closer to Liza’s and giving her a side hug. “It’s overwhelming trying to balance it all, and then the mom guilt comes along for the ride. When I first came to the ranch, Kathy and I talked about how we women are the hardest on ourselves about mistakes, especially mothers. It’s a lot of long hours and thankless work.”
“And I’m so happy I have them.” Liza’s voice wavered and she blinked back tears. “I just want a tiny break and a full eight hours of sleep. I’d also love a partner instead of the deadbeat dad they have, but there’s no use crying over spilled sperm, right?”
The ladies all burst into giggles.
Growing up, Tanya had felt the need to censor herself around Brady’s mother, but during these meetups, Kathy had surprised her, allowing her to lower her guard and be herself. Same went for Liza and Jess, although she wasn’t ready to confess to buying a self-help book and having a crush on the guy she’d insisted she was “just friends” with every time the women hinted at their chemistry.
Tanya felt the killer chemistry every damn time she was around him. He was the one who needed a hint or a smack upside the head.
Or maybe she needed a reality check.
Vaguely, Tanya noticed the attention had shifted to her.
“You’re quiet,” Jess said.
“Not a lot to add on the subject of babies. I have helped a few mama horses give birth, but that’s about it.”
“Whatever.” Jess moved the happy-hour tent card advertising two-for-one drink specials out of the center of the table so they could see one another better. “You have all those overgrown baby businessmen to tend to.”
Tanya chuckled. “True. Although Eric, the CEO who’s been shadowing me, hasn’t complained much—even when he came off the back of a horse—and has caught on quickly.”
“Isn’t that who you were here with the other night?” Jess asked, and Tanya’s breath lodged in her throat.
“Ooh, you went on a date with some big-shot CEO?” Liza leaned closer. “I need details. Living vicariously through Jess was fun for a while, but she and Wade are practically an old married couple now.”
“Speaking of,” Kathy interjected. “We still need to pick a date for the wedding.”
Jess winced, and Liza mouthed, Sorry.
Kathy was still staring at her son’s fiancée intently, her lips pursing more by the second, and Jess twisted toward Tanya. “So about this Eric guy? Tell us more.”
Now the eyes swiveled back to Tanya. She gave Jess a look, silently telling her Thanks for throwing me under the bus.
In return, Jess gave her an apologetic smile that relayed she was sorry but not sorry enough to take it back. After a few months with these ladies, they were getting the silent conversation down pretty well, although it’d never be as easy with them as with Brady.
Who Tanya was absolutely going to avoid thinking about, despite the overwhelming urge to ask if he’d said anything about that night. This was what she got for following a book with tips instructing her to be confident—as if she would buy a book on dating if she’d been confident in the first place. “It was just a business dinner. He inherited a ranch and wanted to talk logistics. There’s nothing else to report.”
The smile Kathy aimed Tanya’s way didn’t quite have its usual high-wattage glow. A hint of sorrow—or maybe regret—crept into the curve. Perhaps Tanya was imagining things, too paranoid they’d take a look at her and sense she was leaving out a big chunk of a story. You see, I realized I’m in love with Brady, and when my course of action didn’t immediately work, I yelled at him. Like a completely sane woman.
Oh, and since he doesn’t love me back, can you yell at him till he does?
Who needed a self-help book when she had access to Brady’s mom? Not that Tanya would ever use that method. Come to think of it, if that method worked, she and Brady would be hitched by now.
Luckily, their waitress appeared. They rattled off their orders, one by one, until the waitress reached Jessic
a.
“I’ll just have water,” Jessica said.
If they were in a TV show, the record-scratch noise would’ve played. Not that Jess was a huge drinker, but after becoming a mom at sixteen and raising Chloe alone, she’d learned to let loose once a month. Normally, she ordered two margaritas at a time so she wouldn’t have to wait for the bartender to mix another—not a lot of blending went on behind the bar at the Tumbleweed.
Jess fiddled with her dangly earrings and avoided making eye contact. “Hello, I’m the designated driver.”
“Hello,” Liza said, mimicking her sarcasm and handing her the drink menu. “We’ll be here long enough you can have one margarita.”
Jess nudged the menu right back to Liza. “I’m fine.”
“Well, at least order a pop or a coffee or something.”
Jess shook her head. “No thanks. I don’t feel like anything but water.”
“I told you I’d drive us home, same as I drove us here,” Kathy said.
“And I insisted that I’d drive us home. I know I popped the clutch last time, but I’m getting better at stick shift now. You can even ask Wade.”
“She’ll have that new watermelon margarita,” Kathy said, and Jess told the waitress to only bring the one. The waitress stared at her motionless pen on the notepad, her expression conveying she didn’t know what to do.
“I honestly don’t feel like a margarita tonight, ladies. It’s no big deal.” Jess cranked her neck to address the befuddled waitress. “Can you put lemon in my water so I’m drinking something fancy enough for my friends to stop giving me grief?”
“You got it.” Their waitress rushed off, and they talked about this, that, and the other until she showed up with their tray of drinks.
“Oh my gosh, this new watermelon margarita is amazing,” Liza said, licking salt off her lip. She pushed the glass toward Jess. “You’ve got to try it.”
Liza nudged it even closer, and Jess exhaled out her nostrils and shook her head. “The smell is just…” Jess shoved it away so fast that liquid sloshed over the side. “No, thank you.”
