by Cindi Madsen
Maddox’s smile was tight, polite, and a pinch nervous. If the cause wasn’t Mama’s interrogation tactics, Harlow might think it was supercute that he even got nervous. As it was, she was having trouble not blurting out a comment about how freaking hot he looked.
“I’m more of a mechanic than a cowboy, but thanks to Harlow’s training…” His amber eyes drifted to her, his smile turning more genuine, and awareness pricked her skin. “I’m getting the hang of the roping thing.”
“Yeah, so anyway, Chloe and Aiden are in the truck. See?” Harlow waved extra big, and they waved back. If her heart beat any faster, she’d pass right on out, and she told it to calm down before it outed her and ruined everything. “Just a fun night with friends before school starts.”
She went to hook her hand on Maddox’s elbow but realized that might be too coupley so she simply shooed him toward the truck like he was some kind of farm animal.
“Bye!” she shouted at Mama, who told her to be home by eleven.
Once Harlow was in the truck, she worked on recovering all the breaths she’d forgotten to take.
“Sorry,” Maddox said. “I should’ve had Chloe go to the door. I was trying to be a gentleman.”
“It’s okay. My mama is naturally suspicious.”
“Yeah, I bet. Especially of guys who look like me.”
“Of everyone,” Harlow said, which was true, but Maddox had definitely ratcheted up Mama’s worry-o-meter. How often did he get judged like that? One quick glance and a snap judgment.
Maddox nodded as if it were no big deal, but the tension in his shoulders didn’t say the same.
Guilt settled heavy in Harlow’s gut, because she’d done something similar when she’d first seen him. The other day, Chloe shared how she’d come to be at the ranch. In addition to getting into legal trouble with her boyfriend at the time, she’d had awful panic attacks and an anxiety disorder. Even though Chloe admitted to using unhealthy coping mechanisms like weed and alcohol to escape, Harlow hadn’t felt the need to chide her like she’d done to Maddox. Not only because Chloe had learned healthier methods, including finding the right medication, but because hearing the story had also deepened Harlow’s understanding.
It made her realize she had been rather sheltered and too judgmental in the past—and by that she meant, like, last week. But she was working on it, and she was determined to discover more about the boy next to her so she could better understand him.
Harlow reached over and squeezed Maddox’s hand. “I can’t believe you talked the Dawsons into letting you come. That shows they trust you.”
“Not sure I’d say that, but I can’t believe it, either, to tell the truth. Of course we did have to bring some chaperones.” He jerked his chin at Chloe and Aiden, their driver for tonight.
Chloe twisted toward them, jaw hanging open. “Hey! We’re not chaperones. It’s safety in numbers.” She toyed with the ends of Aiden’s dark hair. “We deserve to get out once in a while, too. I still don’t know many of the local teenagers.”
“You’re not missing much,” Harlow muttered. Her leg went to bouncing as her nerves shifted into hyperdrive. Yes, she had wanted to go to this party and show off how bold and confident she’d become over the past month. Right now, though, she was reconsidering whether or not it was a good idea. She bounced her leg faster, her nerves coiling and uncoiling, like a snake poised to strike.
Maddox placed his hand on her knee, and every ounce of her blood rushed to the spot where his palm and five long fingers radiated heat. “Relax, girl. I got you.” The swipe of his thumb managed to calm and rev her up at the same time, her stomach lifting higher with each pass. She cast him a smile he immediately returned, and major swoonage was definitely happening.
But before she could bask in the giddy awesomeness, they were pulling up to the party. And Harlow hoped Maddox hadn’t meant I got you in a metaphorical way, because for the second time tonight, she seriously felt like she might pass out.
* * *
The party was fairly typical. A bonfire out in the boonies. People flirting. Guys trying to impress girls by pulling stupid stunts. Chicks flipping their hair and giggling to catch the male group’s attention. One gay couple who looked like they were glad they didn’t have to engage in such antics, and a few outsiders doing their best to appear bored and unconcerned, as if they’d ended up here by accident.
While Maddox didn’t see any adults, it was still a milder party than any he’d been to. At first, he’d hung back a bit so Harlow could say hi to people, but then she would shoot him a panicked glance, and he’d step forward and join—and often lead—the conversation.
It was weird, considering he was a complete stranger. But since Harlow relaxed visibly every time he took lead, he decided he could be a social butterfly for the night.
After getting past another mini cluster of people, Harlow tapped her boot to his sneakers. “By the way, what’s with never tying your shoes? Maybe I should spend some time teaching you how to tie knots.”
“Ha-ha.” He glanced down. “I don’t see the point.” And okay, maybe he thought they looked cooler this way.
“Really? Try to run, and I’ll rope you before you can get away.”
Maddox put his hands on her elbows, holding her arms in place, despite her not having a rope to carry out her threat. “Try that, and you’ll see how scary I can be.”
“Ooh, I’m quaking in my boots. My boots that don’t need to be tied.”
He shook his head but failed to smother his smile. Obviously, none of the people at this party had seen this side of Harlow, and the selfish part of him was glad. He liked their casual banter and how she always gave him shit. An odd thing to like, but there it was anyway.
As they neared the group huddled around the fire, some dude eagerly extended a red Solo cup of what he claimed was “just Coke” toward Harlow, and Maddox shoved it away. Then he gave the guy a glare that made him head in the other direction.
When Harlow told him that it was fine because she’d known the guy forever, Maddox replied that he didn’t trust anyone who smiled at her like he couldn’t wait to get her alone.
“You’re exaggerating,” she said with a disbelieving shake of her head.
Maddox fought the urge to wrap his arm around her shoulders and claim her as his. “I’m not. He’s into you.”
She rolled her eyes. “Dude, we’ve known each other since kindergarten.”
“Like that makes a difference. I don’t want you accepting drinks you didn’t see poured. If you’re thirsty, I’ll go get you a drink. In fact…” He backpedaled a few steps, his gaze remaining on hers. “Be right back.”
He waited until the last possible second to turn away from Harlow’s pretty face. After nearly slamming into a group of girls because he wasn’t watching where he was going, he strode over to a blue cooler. A keg stood at its side, a stack of red cups on top.
Brady and Nick had shocked the hell out of him by giving him the go-ahead for the party, and Maddox found he actually cared that they’d trusted him. The last thing he wanted to do was screw that up, so he was sticking to the soda and water cooler.
Make that second to last, Maddox thought as he replayed the way Harlow’s grin stretched wider and wider as he’d continued walking backward. Alternating currents of desire and affection streaked through him, but a stupid ripple of panic had to come along for the ride. His relationship with Harlow had become so important so fast that it scared him.
A red and silver can caught his eye, and while he’d never spike a girl’s drink and wanted Harlow to trust him, he also wanted her to learn to be safe, even in this tiny town. As he was fishing another can out for himself, he felt a hand on his shoulder and turned, expecting the girl who’d been keeping his mind nice and busy.
Instead, a chick with über-blond hair and heavy eye makeup stood next to him. Her smile rela
yed she was used to getting her way. “I don’t think we’ve met.” She batted her eyes and extended a manicured hand. “I’m Bianca.”
It took him a second to recognize the name. This was Harlow’s former roping partner. “I’m here with someone.”
“Me, too,” she said, low and suggestive as she leaned closer, making it clear she didn’t much care about who she came with.
Maddox quickly scanned the area, his eyes peeled for honey-colored hair. “My girl’s the best. Oh, there she is.” He raised his voice so Harlow would hear him over the roar of the party. “Hey, Sugar!”
Harlow spun and cocked her head, and he motioned her over. He extended the can of Coke and then took her free hand and slipped his fingers between hers. “Bianca was just introducing herself to me, and I was telling her that I was here with my amazing girlfriend.”
“Girlfriend?” Bianca’s eyebrows shot up as a different, faker smile curved her lips. “Harlow! You never mentioned a boyfriend.”
Harlow rested her head on his shoulder, and he got a whiff of perfume that had him longing to bury his nose in her neck for the rest of the night. “It’s new. And you know, with you so busy and me training by myself now—”
“With me, you mean,” Maddox said, brushing his lips across her temple for an almost kiss.
The light from the bonfire played across Harlow’s features, highlighting her natural beauty as she blinked up at him. “Right. Maddox is filling your old spot.”
“I hope you’ve got a good partner,” he said without bothering to look at Bianca. Then he grinned down at his girl—er, the girl he was pretending was his. “You’re going to need one to beat us.”
With that, he tightened his grip on Harlow’s hand and led her away from her frenemy.
“Sugar?” Harlow asked once they were a few steps away.
“’Cause you’re sweet like sugar.”
“Nuh-uh.” She lifted her chin, attempting a stern expression she couldn’t begin to pull off. “I’m tough.”
“Right. I, uh, guess I forgot.”
She gasped and bumped her shoulder into his, sending them both stumbling a few steps. “I am!”
“But you’re also sweet, and I like that about you.”
Her cheeks colored, and she glanced at their interlocked fingers. “Are you doing this”—she lifted their hands a foot or so—“for my benefit?”
Maddox lifted their arms even higher, all the way up to his lips, and lightly kissed her knuckles. “If it’s for anyone’s benefit, it’s mine.”
Harlow set her soda, still unopened, on the nearby tree stump. Then she wound both arms around his waist so they were chest to chest. He held his breath, afraid to move or breath, and he probably should’ve thought this through. “That’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever said to me. Maybe I should call you Sugar.”
One side of him cheered while the other screeched a warning. This was going to crash and burn, but damn was the thrill hard to resist.
Maddox brushed Harlow’s hair off her face and trailed his fingertips down her cheek. “If I’m the sweetest guy you’ve ever been around, you need to broaden your horizons.”
“You sell yourself short. You’re a good guy, Maddox Mikos.”
He wanted to argue or shake his head, but he just stood there and stared at the awe and affection etched across Harlow’s face.
He’d had girls stare at him before, but it was mostly lust, and none of them had known him the way Harlow did. She’d wiggled past his defenses, and while everything in him craved letting her in, that’d only lead to more pain later.
“Harlow…”
“Maddox.” She innocently batted her eyes at him, and it was the first time she’d been anything but innocent.
He swallowed hard, finding his words and his thoughts slippery. “Are you flirting with me?”
“I’m doing whatever the step beyond flirting is. I’m telling you that I see you, and I know you. And that I…I like you.” She wrinkled her cute little nose, and it brought him right back to those big, brown eyes. “Is that flirting?”
It was like the world had hit the pause button, and he lifted his hand and swiped his thumb across her plump lower lip, desperate to satisfy his curiosity. No matter how good the artist, there were some things you simply couldn’t capture on paper. “I like you, too, Harlow. But—”
“No buts.” She gripped the sides of his shirt and tipped onto her toes.
He watched, captivated and torn and thinking about how he’d probably burn in hell for taking advantage of such a sweet, innocent girl.
He lowered his forehead to hers instead of kissing her like he longed to.
“I don’t have a lot of experience,” she whispered. “I was kinda hoping you’d take the initiative with the kissing.”
He stepped closer to the flames, twining his fingers in her silky soft hair. “I can’t, Sugar.” He released a shaky exhale as he summoned every ounce of his control. “Not only did I make multiple promises to take care of you tonight and not to cross lines at the ranch—”
“We’re not at the ranch. We have this one night away.”
If his chest grew any tighter, he’d be unable to breathe. “You’re not making this easy.”
“I don’t do easy,” she said, and his heart nearly leaped out of his chest at the feel of her velvety-soft lips hitting his jaw. With his fingers still tangled up in her hair, the temptation to use his grip to tip her head back and give him full access to her mouth slammed into him.
“Harlow, we can’t.” The plea scraped his throat on the way out, leaving it achy and raw. “I’m not a good guy. Not the guy you need.”
“As I said a minute or so ago, you absolutely are a good guy, and how do you know what I need?”
“I just know it’s not me. You’re naive if you think it’ll end well.”
She bristled at the accusation, which was the reason he’d chosen the word. Maybe if he pushed… Except he didn’t want to push her away, even after all his lessons in what happened whenever he allowed himself to get too close.
Harlow lowered herself flat to her feet, and his body immediately missed the press of her. “Naive? Let’s talk about naive.” She crossed her arms in front of her, a protective move, as if her subconscious knew he was going to hurt her. “Like how you can possibly consider someone your friend after he lets you take the blame for his drugs?”
Apparently, he was the one getting hurt tonight. Kitty had claws, and she’d dug them in deep. “You don’t understand. Ian’s the only person who would give me a chance. He allowed me to sleep on the cot in his office when I didn’t have anywhere else to go.”
“No, you don’t understand. I’ve never wanted to punch or strangle anyone before, but I’ve a mind to drive to that mechanic garage and have a not-so-friendly chat with your so-called buddy. How dare he take advantage of your situation and use you! What’s he going to do when you turn eighteen? Get a new minor to do his dirty work? Or have you continue to do it until you end up in jail?”
Maddox crossed his arms right back, regardless of it being too late to shield himself. “That’s my cue to go.”
He spun on his heel, but Harlow grabbed his arm. “Maddox, please. You can’t just storm off every time I say something you don’t like.”
“The ‘please’ won’t work this time, Harlow. This is exactly what I’m talking about. How many times do we have to have the same fight?”
Her fingers slid down his arm to grip his hand, and she tugged until he turned around to face her. “How about till you see that I have a point and how much I care about you.”
The words slammed into his chest with scalpel-sharp precision. “You only think you do.”
The vehement shake of her head caused a dangerous sliver of hope to rise, one that’d later stab him where it hurt the most. And yet…
No. He c
ouldn’t afford to let himself hope anymore. It only lifted him that much higher before he plummeted to the ground and punched on through to rock bottom, and he couldn’t survive that again.
“I’ll only disappoint you.” His voice came out with a rasp, his emotions way too close to the surface.
“If you do, then I’ll deal with it. But try not to, okay?” Harlow sidled close enough that he could feel the rise and fall of her breaths. They were hip to hip, too, which he tried not to focus on, but how could he not? “Because I’m not gonna give up.” Harlow bracketed his face with her hands, her eyes so steady on his. “Maybe other people have done that, but I’m no quitter. It’s the one thing that’s gotten me through the ups and downs of high school and losing my roping partner. And I refuse to give up on this—on us—when it’s the strongest, realest connection I’ve ever experienced. Please tell me you feel it, too.”
This was his chance to push her away. He could lie and tell her that he didn’t feel the same. But she’d let down all her walls… Actually, he didn’t know if the girl even had walls. What she’d done was put her heart on a silver platter and extend it to him, and he couldn’t shove it away.
“Of course I feel it. I count the hours until I can see you again.” He figured she deserved the same honesty she’d given him.
The next thing he knew, Harlow had flung her arms around his neck. She hugged him so tightly it felt like she might actually be able to hold everything that was broken inside him together.
When he pulled back enough to look at her face and reassure himself this was real, the purest, most beautiful smile he’d ever seen spread across her face, even as a hint of vulnerability swam in her eyes. “Who would’ve guessed that a sassy cowgirl would be just what I needed?”
“And who would’ve guessed a tattooed and pierced mechanic who never ties his shoes would end up being the perfect guy for me?” She licked her lips, returning his attention to that perfect mouth. “But here we are.”
