by Cindi Madsen
A tug on her belt loop had her glancing over her shoulder. When Maddox tugged again, she didn’t resist, allowing him to draw her back against his chest. She leaned into his embrace, soaking in the stolen moment.
“I’m going to find a way to make this right,” Maddox said, his lips brushing her temple.
“You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I don’t know about that.” The adults were circling back around, so Maddox released her and took a large step back. Harlow immediately missed his warmth and steady strength. Somewhere along the way, the last boy she should fall for had become her center of gravity, the force of their attraction too strong to resist. “All the same, I’m going to try to fix it.”
* * *
Take him out of the equation?
Seriously? Was the guy on crack when he’d tossed out that suggestion? As if it were honestly that simple.
Over the past week, Tanya had a gaping, Brady-shaped hole in her life. Her – Brady = Sadness. That was the fucking equation.
During their time apart, between working and getting ready for the rodeo, she’d made a pros and cons list, and she still felt like the white handkerchief in the middle of a tug-of-war. She also needed to have a frank discussion with her parents, but they’d been impossible to nail down. Almost as if they sensed she wanted to have a crucial conversation involving the future and they didn’t want to deal with it.
Discouraging to say the least.
Sorrow rose up every time she contemplated leaving Silver Springs, but Tanya had meant what she’d said about needing to make her own choices and having a career that allowed her to be in charge of her own life. After the last decade of utter frustration, it was extremely important to her and one of the things she couldn’t compromise on.
A chance at an equal partnership on any ranch, much less the ability to rescue horses, would give her the challenge, stability, and independence she craved, and she refused to be the girl who gave up an amazing job for a boy.
Time to grow up and make the smart decision. No more being hasty and just hoping things will all eventually work out. That’d been her method for the past several years, and it hadn’t gone so well.
How unfair was it that she and Brady had finally gotten the timing right, only for life to laugh in their faces and rip it away? That wasn’t the right timing, it was bullshit, and she wanted to stomp her foot and say it wasn’t fair.
Life wasn’t fair, though, which was why there was a whole stupid saying about it.
Also not fair: her compulsion to scan for Brady. It’d started the instant she’d entered the rodeo grounds. She longed to see what he was wearing and what he was up to. If he looked okay—well, he’d look smokin’ hot, obviously—but she meant emotionally okay. Had he simply shrugged off their tragic, ships-passing-in-the-night situation? Or was he hurting as badly as she was?
She wanted to ask him if he, like she had, kept picking up the phone to text or call, only to feel like he no longer had the right.
“Okay, guys. Are we ready to kick some butt?” Her mock enthusiasm was pathetic, but she didn’t have any of the real stuff left. “Karlie, you ready?”
The seventeen-year-old cashier from Horsefeathers Western Store waved at her group of friends in the stands. Based on a couple of conversations, Tanya gathered Karlie’s main reason for joining in the rodeo fun had to do with catching the eye of a boy—or roping him if it came to that, as the teenager had joked one day.
Tanya rattled off a few key points for Karlie to remember, and then she backed away to give her and the horse she sat atop enough space.
Once again, Tanya’s gaze drifted to Brady’s side of the arena. He was hyping up Chloe to take her upcoming turn at roping, his enthusiasm one hundred percent genuine. Chloe nodded, hanging on his every word, and then she slapped his raised hand before moving closer to the gate.
He’s so good with those kids. It took a unique set of skills to cautiously dig around for unseen injuries—in people who often fought against it, at that—in order to help them heal and grow. The entire Dawson clan had a surplus, and while Brady always claimed Liza and Nick did the heavy lifting, he cared about every single kid who ended up at the ranch.
With Chloe nearing the gate for her turn, Brady helped Desiree onto a white mare named Moonbeam.
While Tanya would normally jump at the chance to beat Brady, no matter the challenge or venue, she found she wished she was on his side today. That way, she could listen to his reassuring voice, same way she used to before her own turn in the arena. Funny how they could be talking trash one minute and cheering each other on the next.
Naturally, a part of her still craved winning and rubbing the victory in his face. In a teasing way that wouldn’t put him on the defensive, so as not to go against the dating book that had helped her win him over. Unfortunately, the dating book didn’t cover what to do when you were madly in love with someone but life pulled you in different directions—she’d checked.
The sight of Brady was also tugging her toward staying in Silver Springs.
No matter how many lists she made or how she mapped out the future, staying wasn’t an option. Not really. In the end, she would resent being stuck in an endless cycle, unable to earn enough to buy her own ranch or to do anything with Bullhead Valley until her parents passed away. Depressing all around, and why was she rehashing this again?
Maybe a future of being alone was what she got for declaring she didn’t need anyone—awesome.
The buzzer sounded, and Chloe burst out of the gate on Rowdy. While she took a second to find the flow with the lasso swinging over her head, she threw the loop with practiced ease. By the time it slipped over the calf’s head and held, the calf was already near the other end of the arena, so the time wasn’t superfast by any means. Still, Brady jumped higher than a bucking bronco.
Another reason Tanya loved him so damn much. He was passionate about his job, and every time one of those teens succeeded, he celebrated more than he’d celebrated his own wins back in the day.
Didn’t she deserve that, too? Rescuing horses would fill up her well in a way nothing else would.
“Let’s go, Karlie,” Winona hollered, and Tanya jerked her attention to the arena.
The gate opened, and Karlie and her horse took a few extra seconds to charge. Whoops and hollers came from the crowd as the calf rushed to the end of the arena. A quick swing…and a miss.
“So close,” Tanya yelled. Even the pros missed sometimes, and she told Karlie as much once she returned.
“It’s okay. It was a pretty big rush, and on my way back, I gave Justin a big wave. He told me good job, so…” Karlie squealed, and Tanya smiled. Not that she’d go back to being a teenager in high school for all the money in the world, but she did miss the lack of complications and responsibilities once in a while.
Perhaps that was just her impulsive, rebellious side shining through.
Out of the corner of her eye, Tanya caught sight of the Thompsons. Like most townsfolk, they’d lived here most of their lives, as had their parents. They’d listed their property a week or so ago, and around these parts, they might sell in a day or it could be in three years.
As the teams worked their way through the preshow program, Tanya couldn’t stop wondering if the Thompsons had any offers. If they’d laugh at the lowball one she could make. How eager they were to sell and why.
Winona took her turn at barrel racing, which she’d taken to like a fish to water. Her small stature meant the horse could go faster, and she didn’t risk falling off as easily since she was already so close to the saddle.
“You got this! One more barrel to go,” Tanya called as her entire team cheered Winona on. They clapped even louder when they saw her amazing time.
As soon as the diner owner was back and had been properly congratulated, Tanya pulled her aside. Due to the Silver Saddle
being one of three places to eat in town and the fact that Winona often doled out advice and anecdotes along with slices of pie, she knew all the goings-on in town. “Any idea why the Thompsons are selling their ranch?”
“Oh, there are a lot of factors involved. Mrs. Thompson’s been trying to drag her husband back to the city, pretty much since the day he moved her here. Their oldest boy, Scott—do you remember Scott?”
Tanya flipped through her mental list. “I think so. He was probably four or five years younger, so I don’t know him well.”
“He and his wife just had a baby, and Mrs. Thompson wants to be closer to her grandchildren.”
Well, that didn’t exactly make Tanya feel young, but the brick wall her brain had been hitting itself against since Monday cracked open, allowing for a stream of ideas to seep through. Crazy ideas that would be far from easy, involve a whole lot of people, and perhaps be on the wrong side of possible. “Do you think they’d consider selling it off in lots?”
“Only one way to find out,” Winona said, and Tanya blinked at her as she awaited the answer. “You’d have to ask.”
“Right.” So the answer was a question. Technically, a whole heap of them.
“Tanya?”
She turned toward the male voice. Eric, who also wanted an answer. While she’d told him she needed to have a meeting with her parents and at least give them a heads-up, he was leaving on Sunday evening, so the clock was ticking down on her time to let him know whether or not she’d be accepting the position.
It would be so much easier if she didn’t keep volleying back and forth, attempting to leave her hometown when she still had one foot firmly in place. Though the foot wasn’t the real issue; it was her heart.
“We’re falling behind,” Eric said. “Even with Winona’s amazing time. We need to win this next event in order to have a shot at beating Turn Around Ranch.” The desire for victory was there in his voice. The guy probably didn’t lose a lot.
Speaking of questions, there was one she probably should’ve asked before. Only she worried that Brady might be right and then she’d be up a creek without a paddle. Better to have all the facts, though, right? “You’re not interested in me, like, romantically, are you?”
His eyebrows shot up, his surprise clear. “I wouldn’t say I’m exactly uninterested. But before you go thinking that’s why I offered you a job, my attraction to you has nothing to do with that. I need someone with your skill set to succeed, and I’m going to do whatever it takes to run my aunt’s ranch in her honor and make her proud. As far as you and I go, we can just see how it goes—there’s no rush and no pressure.”
What did she say to that? “I assumed you knew that I was in love with Brady.”
“Praise the Lord,” Winona interrupted, sticking her face between them. “You and Brady finally got together? When did this happen?”
“It’s complicated, and we already kinda sorta broke up, so…”
Winona heaved a sigh that conveyed she thought Tanya was being impossible.
“Let’s just say we’re figuring things out, and I’d appreciate it if you could keep it a secret for now.”
Winona zipped her lips and headed to help one of their teammates, and Tanya returned her attention to Eric. “I’m sorry if I accidentally led you on, and if this changes things—”
“It doesn’t, and I’m not surprised about you and Brady. But I’m also willing to see what happens once you and I get the ranch up and running.”
Well, this might be something she’d have to take to the grave, because if Brady found out, she’d never hear the end of it. More, she couldn’t help but wonder if she was going to move her entire life only to discover she still didn’t have the complete control she craved.
“I’m sorry, but I actually have to go.” Tanya waved over Miguel and patted his shoulder. “Congrats, you’re the new coach.”
Miguel’s mouth dropped open. “Wait. What?”
“I have an important meeting.” Anyway, she would have, as soon as she demanded one.
“Aren’t you competing later in the rodeo?”
“Not anymore. Something more important came up.” Afraid to hope but more afraid of the regret she’d experience if she didn’t try, Tanya rushed away from the familiar sights, sounds, and smells of the arena.
And as she climbed into her truck and headed away from the rodeo grounds, she made her first call of many…
Chapter 26
Five dark, restless days.
That was how long Maddox had gone without Harlow. At one point, he’d hatched a plan to sneak out, hot-wire a vehicle and drive to her house, and then break into whichever bedroom was hers. Mostly to see if she was okay, but he might’ve gone so far as to ask her to run away with him, dumb idea or not. He’d never missed somebody to the point that every inch of his body ached from it. Sure, he’d missed Jaxon and still did, but his pining for Harlow had reached a whole new level this week, one that threatened to consume him.
Maddox perched atop one of the large metal gates and grinned at Harlow as she readied the Double D’s for their turn at barrel racing. He’d been afraid she would be mad he hadn’t kept his hands and his lips to himself and had landed her in trouble or that she’d realize she didn’t need him the way he needed her.
He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t considered turning to old vices. If he searched hard enough, he was sure he could find enough alcohol and weed around town to drift toward numb oblivion for a while. But then his worst fear would come true—he wouldn’t deserve Harlow Griffith. Part of him thought taking away the possibility of becoming a couple would be for the best. That way, he wouldn’t be as hurt if she decided she didn’t want him.
Which was a lie, because it’d crush him.
His life had been fairly empty before, but last week, it’d been desolate.
The staff and other students at Turn Around Ranch had tried to keep him occupied, but everywhere he looked, he saw the absence of Harlow. The constant churning in his gut left him nauseated enough to end up in the kitchen one night, as if food would somehow help.
Miss Jessica had taken one glance at him, reached into the freezer and pulled out a carton of ice cream, and demanded he sit. After she got him all hopped up on sugar, he’d spilled his guts, the way Nick had wanted him to from day one.
Best decision he’d ever made, and now he had to bide his time until he could put the plan Miss Jess had helped him come up with into motion. He was also going to apply the go-big-or-go-home method when it came to the team roping event so that Harlow had the best possible shot at that All-Around Cowgirl title.
Maddox jumped into the narrow section next to Desiree and Moonbeam, the white mare she sat atop. He ran his hand over the shiny coat of the horse he’d ridden several times, ducked under its head, and stood beside Harlow, who winked at him.
She was sunshine and oxygen and the best damn thing that’d ever happened to him, and he was determined to find a way to be around her until his time at the ranch was up. Even then, he couldn’t imagine going back to life without her.
One thing at a time. It’s going to be hard enough to accomplish step one. Or maybe step two, considering the order…
“Okay, just remember, it’s better to take the turn a bit wide than to knock over the barrels and get a five-second deduction,” Harlow said.
Desiree and Danica, who was getting ready to climb on her horse, nodded. Like Maddox, neither of them had bothered with cowboy gear. Desiree had on her usual jeans, a pale-pink T-shirt that complemented her bronze skin and ebony braids, and Vans. Harlow gestured to her giant earrings. “Need me to hold your hoops?”
“Why? You need me to fight someone? Who messed with you? Just point me to them, and I’ll take care of it.”
Harlow pressed her lips together in that way that meant she was trying not to laugh. “I could hug you for being ready to f
ight on my behalf, but I just meant in case they get caught up in your hair or snag on something.”
“Nah, I’m good.” Dez gathered the reins in her hands and nudged Moonbeam a bit closer to the gate. “But I’ll take that hug once I kick everyone’s asses.”
Maddox respected how real everyone in the program was. They all had their issues, but they were also protective of one other and didn’t mince words. The announcer called Desiree and Moonbeam’s names, and Maddox and Harlow backed away. Then Harlow reached out and hooked her pinkie with his, causing his entire body to light up like a fireworks show.
The buzzer sounded, and Harlow leaned along with Dez as she made her way around the barrels, circling one tightly before heading toward the other.
“That’s it…” Harlow held her breath, and Maddox wondered how much trouble they’d get into if he snuck a kiss. Wouldn’t everyone else be watching the show, which was admittedly more entertaining than he would’ve guessed? “She’s got it, she’s got it.”
Dez made her way around the last barrel and raced toward the finish line.
The flag went down as she crossed the finish line, marking her time.
Harlow bounced up and down, screaming and clapping as Desiree came back through. “You did amazing!”
Desiree swept her braids over her shoulder. “Yeah, I know.”
Had to admire her confidence. The next competitor from the other team did well, but Desiree remained in the lead by one point two seconds.
Danica went next. She tipped one barrel but smoothly circled the others. Her time was the slowest so far, but she seemed completely unbothered by that fact. “Wow, that was a rush. Dez is gonna win, yeah?”
“Bullhead Valley’s got one more person left,” Harlow said, “so she has a good chance—she’ll at least take second place.”
The four of them crowded the fence to the arena to watch. One barrel, two… “Too wide,” Harlow whispered, and she was right.
As Dez was declared the official winner of the amateur barrel-racing contest, their side erupted in cheers and high fives and a few swears the staff either missed or ignored.
