Desiring Dorothy

by Albertson, Alana

  I wanted to tell him he had nothing to make up for, but all that came out was, “You should rest. I’ll keep watch for when Lev comes back.”

  He did as I asked, though from his tossing and turning it was a fitful slumber. Hopefully, it would help him conserve his strength. It also gave me a moment to focus on what Lev had wanted from me.

  The shoes. But why were they so important to him?

  Henry had been enigmatic at best before he died. The only thing I knew about his work was that he had worked with dust-croppers. Emma seemed to think the world of him, so I was shocked when I learned she had filed for divorce. It made no sense.

  Henry didn’t seem like the sort to get involved with killers like Tin and Lev. He never would have risked all he’d worked for on any sort of gamble that would tie him up with a nefarious man like the one who must own Lev and Tin.

  Never.

  And yet...they seem certain he had.

  Or maybe they were the ones who were lying.

  I couldn’t be certain anymore.

  I tightened the coat around me, wishing I’d begged Crow to cuddle for warmth. The cold seeping through the wooden floors seemed to intensify as the thought struck me. Could there be something so important in the shoes that they had cost Uncle Henry his life?

  No.

  I wouldn’t believe it.

  I couldn’t.

  Lev thought he could break me? He could try.

  ***

  Crow and I passed the time taking turns keeping watch and resting. Neither of us managed to sleep much, but it helped to have an end to the madness, at least a little. The ache in my head intensified with each passing hour. I wanted to scream and scream and scream because all I was able to do while the music blasted in my ears was replay the worst moments in my life.

  The night Henry disappeared.

  Losing Toto.

  Trying to explain what happened to the police.

  Failing at cornering Tin properly.

  Lev’s voice as Crow moved in and out of me.

  But I couldn’t.

  Screaming would only let Lev know he had won, so I forced myself to endure, to hold on. I’d hold on to Crow, who must be the most resilient man on the planet, but he had already done so much I couldn’t ask more of him.

  The hallucinations from lack of sleep and probably toxic amounts of stress started sometime on what must’ve been the third day. The worst moments of my life manifested into what seemed to be living memories. Once, I tried to reach a hand out to see if my Henry was really sitting in his recliner in the dank, frigid cabin, but Crow woke and took my hand. He didn’t say it, but I knew he sensed I was on the edge of losing it.

  I didn’t ask if Crow could see them, too, because I was afraid of what it would mean if he were to say yes.

  For the most part, I managed to ignore them. Not easy, when the sight of my uncle brought along with it such bittersweet memories. My bones ached with the effort to keep from darting across the small room and crawling on his lap in that recliner. I’ve been so busy this past year tracking down his killer, I hadn’t really had time to grieve, time to process.

  Now, trapped in a winter wasteland with a sadistic kidnapper wasn’t exactly an opportune moment either.

  Or at least that was what I tried to tell myself as the pain and despair threatened to snap the remaining threads of my sanity.

  I guess Lev wasn’t so bad at his job after all.

  But I’d be fucking damned if I let him win.

  That was why, when the door to the room our room was in finally opened, I didn’t believe what my eyes were telling my brain I was seeing. In fact, when the person walked through, I ignored it like I’d done all the other aberrations exhaustion had conjured from my memories. This one was especially unpleasant. Crow moved to follow through with his plan, but something stopped him.

  Crow was mouthing something, but I couldn’t understand him over the music, and I was so tired my vision was blurring. Noting my growing frustration, he leaned close enough that his lips whispered against my ear, causing me to shiver. “What the fuck is he doing here?” he asked.

  For a moment, the words and reality didn’t gel, and I didn’t understand what he was saying. My thoughts lolled about in my head, as though they were swimming through pudding. Then it clicked. “You can see him, too?” I breathed.

  Maybe this was one of those mass psychoses deals.

  Trauma bonding.

  Whatever.

  “Of course, I can see him,” Crow spit. “What the fuck is he doing here?”

  I shook my head to clear it which only made my ears ring. “He’s real?”

  The noise shut off; the silence almost as loud as the music had been. The damage from the high volume made everything seem a little muffled.

  “Real as ever, sweetheart. Did you miss me?”

  There was no mistaking that voice. The one that had haunted my waking nightmares. I was too stunned to even breathe.

  Tin’s cocky grin spread from ear to ear. Someone so cruel and unfeeling shouldn’t be able to have a smile so appealing.

  I bared my teeth and imagined using them on him in punishment. For besting me. For bedding me. For everything. I’d rip him apart.

  I was so lost in planning his demise; it took me a while to realize Crow was sitting up, staring straight at the spot where Tin was leaning against the wall opposite us, his arms and legs crossed as though he was thoroughly enjoying our discomfort.

  The bastard.

  Maybe Tin was more like Lev than I thought.

  Both of them enjoyed pain.

  Tin pushed off the wall as the door beside him swung open. Lev strolled through, his hair tied back into a neat braid, his eyes feverish and wild at the sight of Tin, as though he was surprised to see him, too.

  “Sorry I was late to the party,” Tin said.

  “Where’s my pug, Toto, you motherfucker? Tell me.”

  8

  Dorothy

  I’d officially entered the Twilight Zone.

  Nothing about what had happened here made sense.

  Tin was here now?

  He knew Lev?

  What the fuck?

  This entire thing was crazy town.

  What were you into Henry?

  I had no idea why Lev wanted the shoes. Was this some kind of game? Some sick, twisted thing Tin had planned to get his rocks off?

  It wasn’t a game to me. This was my life. Or what was left of it.

  I cursed myself under my breath.

  I’d planned, plotted, and wished for this moment for so long, and now that it was here, I was fucking everything up.

  A year ago, I never thought I’d be able to find the mysterious man named Tin. The one who stole everything from me, but I had. It took months. Time I didn’t have and couldn’t afford to waste.

  Tin calmly turned to Lev. “Take Crow out of here. I need to talk to Dorothy. Alone.”

  Alone. What type of torture did he have planned for me? Would he rape me?

  Crow gave me a longing look and then Lev led him out of the room.

  “Where are the shoes? I found the ones in your room at the compound. They are knockoffs. What did you do with the real ones?” he spit out.

  With his scruffy dark hair and harsh features, he looked like an ancient warrior, ready to conquer anything in his path. Ready to conquer me.

  And I’d almost let him.

  For a moment, just a breath, really, I’d forgotten why I had come to the Arctic, why I’d let him lure me into bed for a hook-up. Not once, but twice. Fine, three times. What could I say, the sex was fucking incredible. I’d looked up at his beautifully savage face and thought it would have been nice to meet him under different circumstances. Like at a bar for a hot one-night stand. Then, he’d come and pleasure had looked so much like fury on his face, I remembered the real reason why I brought him to bed, and I’d hated him for it.

  “Answer me, dammit!” I told him, that fury bleeding into my voice. “What
the hell did you do with my dog?”

  Tin stood proud, crossing his arms over his chest. “What fucking dog are you talking about, you crazy bitch?” He rolled his eyes.

  I didn’t react to the word crazy. I had spent the last year of my life dreaming of this moment. I owned that word. “You heartless son-of-a-witch. A year ago, you went to my uncle’s farm. Or do you kill so many people they don’t stick out anymore?” I spit the words like bile. My skin began to crawl. I hated that he had seen me naked. His blank stare emphasized my vulnerability more than sex ever could.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, stony-faced, his voice as hard as granite. “You better calm the fuck down or you’re going to regret it.”

  “All I want are answers. I deserve answers.”

  “I’m not telling you anything. Where are the shoes?”

  It would’ve been so much easier to concentrate if I hadn’t been fed broth and bread for three days with minimal sleep. “I would think you’d be more inclined to negotiate since you want something I have,” I mused.

  “Honey, I’m a SEAL. I make a living off of staring down the barrel of a gun. A sweet little thing like you doesn’t scare me.”

  We were getting off topic here. “Tell me why you killed my uncle. Why did you take my pug?”

  “I’m not deaf, sweetheart. I heard what you asked the first time. Just because you’re asking it again doesn’t mean my answer is going to change. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He took a step closer. “Now answer my questions before someone gets hurt. Like Crow.”

  “I have the power. I have something you want. You’re not in charge here.”

  “That’s not what you said when you were in bed with me,” he said with a smirk that made my stomach roil. “I’m pretty sure you liked it when I was in charge.”

  “You think I liked it?” I chuckled. “I let you get in my pants so I could get close to you. I’ve been looking for you ever since you killed my uncle. I knew who you were the second I heard your voice. That’s the only reason why I let you fuck me. You think I wanted you? You’re very much mistaken.” I lied. Truth was I wanted to fuck him the moment I laid eyes on him. But he didn’t need to know that.

  “Whatever delusions you’re operating under, I’m not the person you’re looking for.”

  “I don’t think so, Zac.”

  His body went still. “How do you know my name?” he asked.

  Finally, there was a tinge of suspicion in his voice and his muscles went taut. “I told you. I’ve been looking for you for a year now. At first, I thought it was a shot in the dark. The only clue I had to go on was your nickname. You see, when you came to Henry’s farm that day, he wasn’t alone in the house. I was there, too. You just didn’t know it. I heard what you did, and I heard your name. After you left, I vowed I’d do whatever it took to find you.”

  He didn’t react at all to my explanation. Then again, why would he? He was a SEAL. Lying was his job. I knew he had to know something, so I kept on.

  “I spent months searching message boards, back alley psychos with a penchant for wet work, and paying hackers to find flight records in and out of Kansas. There were several leads, and I paid a private investigator to follow every single one. I did whatever I had to in order to finance my search and in the end, it paid off. The PI found a Zac Tinwell flying out of Kansas City. From there I learned you were in the Navy, then it was only a matter of time until I eliminated base after base. The Arctic was a long shot, but it seems fitting considering you must have a heart made of ice to kill an old man and kidnap a dog.”

  “That’s me, a regular tinman. Believe what you want.”

  “As if I’d believe anything you say.”

  “I don’t care what you believe. I’m not going to leave until you tell me where the shoes are.”

  “Then we’re going to stand here until you tell me the truth.”

  “I’m not doing shit, sweetheart.”

  Then he lunged, quicker than a snake, flipped me down on the bed, under him.

  “Now this is much more interesting,” Tin said a wicked smile on his face.

  “Lev!” he barked. “Bring me rope. And Crow.”

  The door opened, and Lev strolled in like he didn’t have a care in the world. He had a gun pointed to Crow’s back and used his free hand to toss Tin some twine. Tin tied me up to the bed and instructed Lev to bind Crow up next to me, then gagged him for good measure. Lev stood beside us, studying their handiwork.

  “Much better,” Tin said, his eyes snapping with satisfaction. “I should have thought of this before I fucked you, then I wouldn’t have had to deal with this bullshit.”

  “Fuck you,” I said.

  Tin waved his gun at me. “You better watch your mouth, Dorothy. After all, I have a gun, and I’ve got plenty of ideas on just how to keep you quiet.”

  I pressed my lips together. I knew exactly how he’d keep me quiet, and I’d rather not let him have the opportunity to demonstrate.

  “I think I’m going to leave you here to think your lies. When I come back, you better have some answers for me.”

  “You can’t leave us here!” I yelled and yanked at the restraints, but to no avail. The knots were terribly, dishearteningly effective. “Let me go, Tin.”

  “I don’t think so, sweetheart. You’ve proven just how trustworthy you are, and I’m letting you go anywhere until you tell me where your shoes are.” He should’ve revolted me, but with Tin I melted a bit. I gritted my teeth against the surge of lust.

  “Tin, don’t leave us here.” I was getting desperate. This wasn’t going how I had planned. Waves of frustration knocked against my lungs.

  “You should have thought about the consequences before you accused me of taking your dog,” he said nonchalantly. “I fucking love dogs.”

  I almost wanted to laugh but that would royally piss him off. A big bad SEAL getting angry that I accused him of taking my dog. I’d try another approach.

  I batted my eyelashes. “Please, Tin. I just wanted answers. Then I’ll tell you where the shoes are.” The words, the begging, tasted like acid on my tongue. It was a fucking lie, but I was willing to do anything, be anyone, to find out the truth. And I knew the truth lay with him.

  Tin paused by the door to our room, his eyes unreadable. He crossed to me and leaned down. I swallowed hard as he pressed those full lips to mine. I shouldn’t like it, I didn’t want to, but the ghost of the orgasms he’d given me days ago still thrummed inside my body even now. I sighed against his lips, and he pulled back with a smirk.

  “I knew you couldn’t have faked that, too,” he said, and then disappeared through the door, Lev following behind him.

  I screamed and wished I could throw something at him.

  All of my hard work down the drain. I’d underestimated him, but I wouldn’t let that happen again. I’d know better next time. And there would be a next time, because I wouldn’t let him get away so easily. He would give me answers.

  Crow did his best to comfort me even with the gag, but I remained silent. Embarrassed I had squandered our chance for freedom for my quest for answers. Answers I would never have.

  I didn’t know how long I lay on the bed, unable to move, uncertain of how long it had been since Tin left me tied up. I tried to wiggle my way free from the restraints, but it was impossible and only served to rub my wrists and ankles raw with the effort. Even though I didn’t mean to, I fell asleep for hours at a time, then jolted awake with a snap, heart racing, and certain Tin had come to finish the job.

  Only he didn’t show and then the cycle repeated again. And again. And again.

  Until finally, I heard someone in the hallway outside the door. My heart lifted in anticipation, beating double time as my ears strained above the sound of blood rushing in my head to strain for any sign of Tin’s return.

  Through the darkness, I saw shadows shift and my eyes focused on the doorknob. Either my brain was playing tricks on me, or t
he knob was turning. I swallowed hard against the fear threatening to rise. Whatever happened, I’d deal with it. With him.

  I would find Toto and discover what had happened to Henry and prove that I hadn’t been crazy.

  Even if it was the last thing I did.

  Chest heaving, I squinted as the door pushed open and a figure stepped inside. He reached for the switch and flicked on the lights. Tin was back with a gigantic smile on his face.

  “Miss me, sweetheart?” he asked.

  “Let us go,” I demanded, spit flying.

  “I don’t think so. Not until you give me some answers.”

  “You’re the one who should be answering me. You killed Henry.”

  “Lady, the only people I’ve killed lately are ones who deserved it and none of them were Henry.”

  “Then why were you at his house? What did you do with Toto?”

  His face grew grim. “You shouldn’t have followed me to the Arctic. You’re walking a dangerous line. Keep your pretty nose out of it. I’m going to untie you and if you know what’s good for you, you’ll keep your mouth shut.”

  Like Hell, I would, but I bit my tongue, letting him get close enough to free me.

  “That’s a good girl,” Tin said with a heartless smile.

  He came closer, and I bit his hand like a rabid dog.

  He pulled his hand away and growled at me. “For that stunt, I’ll keep you tied up. Next time I come back; you better bow down to me.” He put his hand on the door. “See you around, sweetheart.”

  9

  Tin

  An hour after her last stunt, I went back to their room. Dorothy and Crow shared an intimate glance chest. My own constricted. They seemed so intimate. I wasn’t jealous—no, I never cared about anyone I fucked.

  Not since Miranda.

  But even so, seeing the way Dorothy looked at Crow woke something inside me.