“I was working on homework,” I told her, sighing when I knew I probably wouldn’t get shit done the rest of the night. It was close to dinner time, anyway.
She made a funny face, her cherub cheeks puffing as she frowned. “Boring.”
“Yeah, tell me about it.”
Tori slid off my lap, tugging on my hand, though I refused to move off the chair I was in. “Play with us.” It wasn’t the first time she’d tried to get me to play; ninety-nine percent of the time, I just didn’t care enough to try.
But now…with my mind alight with Jaz, I felt like that was changing. I felt the strange urge to actually try, to not only protect her from the hazards of Midpark High and the residents of this city, but also to be more for her. To feel those lips on mine again, to have her near. I didn’t want anything else.
Was that what normal people felt when they liked someone? The inexplicable desire to be with them at all hours of the day and night, never getting enough?
I heaved a sigh as I got to my feet. I had no idea what I was agreeing to play, but as it turned out, I needn’t have worried too much, for in the next moment, a third presence joined us in the room, causing Tori to giggle, release my hand, and dart away, slipping past her mother and sprinting into the hall.
“I already found you,” Stella called after her, though she did not chase her. “That’s…not really how hide and seek works—” It was clear Tori still wanted to play, so Stella added, “Fine, I’ll count to ten again, but this time you better hide.”
Stella had joined our family a few years ago. She’d made a name for herself here, with the family. My older brother, Markus, was not one to respect anyone who wasn’t himself, but I did believe she had a modicum of it, though he’d never admit it aloud. She had become our Butcher, the one who handled the messiest jobs in the basement. I’d heard stories of the things she did, so I knew her innocent appearance was deceiving.
She was maybe thirty now, with long brown hair and mismatched eyes—one blue and one brown. When I’d first met her, it’d been strange to stare into a gaze like that, but over time, you got used to it.
Something about Stella made me feel at ease. I couldn’t say what it was, but I knew the feeling was mutual. She’d told me once that I reminded her of herself, before she’d met my brother Lincoln. To this day, I still wasn’t quite sure what she meant, but I never asked.
Stella moved near the chair, peering at my textbook. “Math. How…fun.” The way she said it, I knew she did not think it was fun. The opposite, actually.
I shrugged, going to sit where I was before Tori had swept in here like a hurricane. “I’m trying to focus, but it’s hard.”
She moved my textbook, gently closing it and shoving it aside before sitting next to me. “You’re not one to not focus,” Stella muttered, frowning slightly. She didn’t often show emotion on her face, which I think unnerved a lot of people. I didn’t mind it; I was the same way. “Is something wrong?”
“No,” I said, waiting a moment before adding, “maybe. I don’t know.”
That got her full attention. “What’s going on, Vaughn? You’re not acting like yourself.” That was the understatement of the month; I wasn’t acting like myself, and I wasn’t quite feeling like myself, either. It was good to know it wasn’t just in my head, that someone else could notice it, too.
I shook my head. “I feel like it’s…stupid.” Or maybe that was just my self-doubt creeping in, since I’d never felt this way before, so I had nothing to compare it to.
“What is?”
Telling Stella everything that’d been going on lately, with me, with Jaz, it wasn’t something I wanted to do. I didn’t want to be seen as asking for help, or for advice. I needed to figure this out on my own, but…if there was anyone in the family who would understand how I felt, it was probably the woman beside me.
I flexed my hands, resting my arms on my knees. “There’s this new girl. She’s…” God, even talking about her, I didn’t know what to say, how to describe her without sounding like a wimp. “I don’t know.”
Stella said nothing, waiting for me to continue. Probably a good thing, because I had no idea what the hell I was trying to say.
“I’ve been thinking about her a lot,” I muttered. “Dreaming of her, even. I…I’ve even kissed her, which is weird—I’ve never wanted to kiss anyone before.” That was not something I would ever admit to anyone else in the family; only Stella. Stella was…different. “I don’t know what to do about her.”
“I’m not an expert on the subject, but it sounds like you like her.”
“I know.” I could not have sounded more unhappy if I tried. Did I want to like her? Did I want to close my eyes and dream of Jaz? No, of course not. Jaz could never fit into the family like Stella did; she wouldn’t want to. She’d investigate us to her heart’s content, possibly try to expose us, and what then? Could I revel in my crush while knowing Markus would never allow her to live if she found out the truth of what we did? I’d be putting her in danger.
It was a long while before Stella said, “And you don’t want to like her? What’s the problem, Vaughn? Are you looking for advice? You know I’m not…good at things like this.”
That much was true. Maybe that’s why I felt comfortable enough to talk about this with her. I knew Stella wouldn’t judge me, like Lincoln definitely would. Hell, or even Travis. All of my brothers would make fun of me for the way I felt; a lot of them tended to think with their dicks.
Me? I was never like that. I never wanted to be like that. I didn’t envy them for being with girls, nor did I want to be like them and always buried between a girl’s legs. I always thought I was…different.
I couldn’t even say what it was about Jaz that made me feel like this. She was beautiful, yes, but so were a lot of girls in Midpark. With money, you could hide any blemish. No, I didn’t think it was her looks, but then…that meant, what, exactly? I was obsessing over the rest of her? I hadn’t even known her that long; I hardly knew her, besides the fact that she was stubborn beyond all belief, liked to get herself into trouble and put herself into situations that could only end badly—see last weekend’s party, for example.
“If you like her,” Stella said, breaking into my thoughts, “it’s not the end of the world. You’re allowed to like someone. Feelings are…you can’t change them, not really. You can pretend they don’t exist, but they still do. My advice, for what little it’s worth, is to go for it. If you like her, tell her. See what she says. She might not even be interested in you.”
Oh, I knew that wasn’t the case.
Or, at least I hoped that wasn’t the case.
With how her body had responded to mine, how her cheeks had flushed at my nearness—how could it be possible she wasn’t interested? Granted, I’d never asked her pointblank, but I didn’t think I had to. It just…it felt right.
“If you know, you know,” Stella said. “It was like that with Lincoln and Edward. It didn’t take me long to come out of my cage for them. If Jaz can be that person for you…” Her thin shoulders went up and down once. “I don’t see why you shouldn’t try.”
I nodded with her words. “You’re probably right.”
“And, if this advice ends up being terrible, don’t hate me for it,” she said, quirking a tiny, miniscule, almost imperceptible smile. “I told you I’m not good at this shit.” Stella stood, setting a hand in my hair and messing it up before walking away, presumably to find wherever Tori had hidden herself.
I watched her go, knowing, deep down, she was right. I couldn’t let my self-doubt fester any longer; I had to do something about it, had to find out what Jaz felt.
And if she didn’t like me? If she’d responded to me like that not because she liked me, but because she simply wanted to get physical, a no strings attached kind of thing? I’d learn to live with it, though I could make no promises as to whether or not I’d stop feeling so protective over her.
Regardless of what happened between
Jaz and me, I had to make sure Brittany and Archer paid for what they did to her.
It truly was a good thing to have money in this town. With money, you could do anything, find out anything, even the truths these people wanted to bury ten feet underground.
Chapter Six – Jaz
I didn’t know how to give my mom the money towards the car; she hadn’t even gotten an estimate for the fix yet, so she didn’t know what was wrong with it. Ollie had given her permission to drive one of his cars, since he had more than one, but it was clear Mom didn’t want to. I couldn’t blame her; she probably didn’t trust herself driving a car that cost more than a year’s salary.
Hopefully, by the time she got an estimate, I’d figure out a way to push the money I had towards her. Mail it to her? Slide it under her bedroom door? I didn’t want her going to Ollie with it, thinking the money was from him, but at this point, I couldn’t think of any other options.
Mom really didn’t want me walking to school alone, so she came with me, all bundled up like it was the winter apocalypse. Her blonde hair was tucked into a hat, her green eyes squinted at the wind. Her body wore the thickest coat imaginable, along with gloves that made her hands look like puffy sausages.
It wasn’t that cold out. My mom was just a baby.
“If you can’t find anyone to take you home, let me know, and I’ll—”
The high school was in sight, so I pushed away from her, heading through the grass to the parking lot from the sidewalk near the road. “I will,” I told her, waving. How embarrassing was it to be seen walking up to school with your mother, am I right?
Right after the worst weekend of my life, too.
Yeah, life had been really fun for me lately.
I paid no attention to any of the other students as I crossed the parking lot and headed into the school. We’d planned out the walk so I wouldn’t be late to homeroom, which was great, because being late after an unexcused absence was not something I should strive for. Then again, Archer was in homeroom, and we sat next to each other, so that should be fun.
Sarcasm. Please note my sarcasm, because I had the feeling homeroom, and the class following suit, was going to be the worst hour and a half of my life. Ever.
I kept my head down as I went to my locker, my eyes glued to the lock as my fingers found the combination. Once my bag and coat were in the locker, I started to pull out my books for the next few classes. I heard sniggering behind me, and I stopped to shoot a glare over my shoulder.
A group of guys stood nearby, huddled together, on the opposite side of the hall. I had no idea who they were, but their names didn’t matter. One of them I recognized from the party, and he actually had the balls to call out, loud enough so his voice was clear across the hall, “Who’s next?”
I said nothing, only glaring.
Could you believe this bastard actually had the nerve to cross the hall, bumping into a few shoulders as he went, stand next to me with a smug expression on his face—not even a cute face, either. Yuck—and say, “There’s a broom closet down the hall”?
But, of course, he wasn’t quite done yet: “We could start a line outside, have you on your knees—” He threw a look around, making sure no teachers were near before grabbing himself over his pants and making a rude gesture.
I took a step closer to him, giving him a million-dollar smile that was laced in poison as I whispered, “The only way I’ll ever have your dick in my mouth is if I’m biting it off.” Spoken so seriously, because I meant it. “Now, if you don’t want your balls to get kicked so hard they burst, I suggest you leave me the fuck alone.” I didn’t wait for the asshole’s response; I spun on my heel and headed to homeroom.
Fuck him. Fuck them all. Fuck every single one of these rich students—
My swearing mind abruptly stopped when I spotted the boy standing just outside my homeroom class, his tattooed hands shoved in his pockets. What was Vaughn doing here? Was he…waiting for me?
And, if so, how did he know this was my first class? Stalker much. Already had one of those; I did not need two.
Hmm. My totally off-track mind then wondered if I could get Dante to beat Archer up. That’d be fun to watch, wouldn’t it? Dante was psycho enough to do anything I wanted, probably.
Vaughn saw me, and I gathered up what courage I had and headed toward him, holding my textbooks close to my chest. He looked just as good as I remembered, his square jaw freshly shaven, his black hair a bit spiky with some kind of hair mousse. His eyes, nearly pitch-black, were on me, studying me without giving me any hint as to what he was thinking.
He’d undoubtedly heard the rumors by now; I bet everyone in the school had. Would he act like everyone else? I couldn’t help but wonder that, for although he was a loner, sometimes all it took was common ground to make you band together with those you didn’t like. Yeah, everyone could all be friends and gang up on me. I didn’t care. I was a big girl.
I was ready for a fight, even though the last person I wanted to fight with was Vaughn. Cocking my head, I stood before him, ignoring the busy hall behind me as I asked, “You have something to say to me, too?”
Vaughn’s mouth thinned into a line, and in spite of myself, my gaze dropped to those lips, recalling the way they’d felt on mine. Tentative, unsure, and then…so much more. Could a kiss like that be staged and fake? Apparently, I wasn’t the best judge.
“I mean,” I plowed on, “I assume you heard what happened. Everyone else did. Bet you wish you were there, huh? Then you could’ve seen it for yourself—”
His eyebrows were slow to furrow, and I bit the inside of my cheek before I said anything else. Vaughn said nothing, staring holes in me. Staring so intently at me that I felt…weird. Like, somehow, Vaughn could see past my bravado, that he could peer into my soul and see the truth of it all.
“Sit with me at lunch,” he said. “We’ll talk then.”
I wanted to tell him to screw off, because trusting anyone in this place was the last thing I wanted to do, but a part of me was still weak for Vaughn, regardless. Stupid of me, I knew, but I couldn’t change it. Those dark eyes, that powerful, heart-stopping stare…
Vaughn was a beautiful demon, ready to tear into me if I let him, even if he was unsure of it all.
The problem, of course, was me. I was starting to believe I wanted the danger, wanted the thrill, that I liked setting myself up to get hurt. How fucked up was that?
I said nothing, turning my head to watch him walk away, a strange feeling in my gut rising after he left. Heading into homeroom was the last thing I wanted to do, but the herd traveling in the halls had thinned. It was time. No more delay.
Heaving as big of a breath as my lungs could take, I went into the room. The class was loud with chitchat, as it usually was before the morning announcements. The teacher sat behind his desk, reading something on his phone, letting the morning chaos run its course. I started to head to my desk in the back, the desk that was unfortunately beside Archer’s, but I didn’t make it far into the room.
Someone was already sitting at my desk, someone who shouldn’t be here. A girl who didn’t have this class as her homeroom or first period. And, because it had to be her, it was the one girl I did not want to see just yet.
Brittany.
Today her long blonde hair was curled, tumbling over her shoulder. Her nails were still long and well-kept, the same bejeweled acrylics she’d worn at the party. Jeans that I knew were name brand hugged her long legs tightly, booted heels underneath them. She was everything a guy could ever want, minus the bitch part, so I really had no idea why Archer felt the need to go behind her back and sleep with me.
She was a bitch, yeah, but I couldn’t exactly blame her for hating me. In this case, I was the other girl, the homewrecker.
And yet, somehow, she’d put all the blame on me and not an ounce of it onto Archer’s shoulders. It was ridiculous. It took two to tango, you know?
She sat in my desk, her legs in the aisle, as she leaned ov
er and whispered something to Archer. I didn’t want to do so much as glance in Archer’s general direction, but I found my eyes slowly drifting to him, anyway.
God, I wished he would’ve looked like an ogre, or something, but my luck wasn’t that great. Instead of an ogre, he looked just as handsome as I remembered him being.
I needed therapy, clearly.
I resumed my pace, heading directly to my seat. I did not so much as spare another glance at Archer, but I did address Brittany with the snidest tone I could muster, “You’re in my seat.”
She turned those amber eyes to me, a color a few shades lighter than mine, and I felt my stomach twist. I truly had no idea what this girl was capable of; if she’d drugged me, she was clearly willing to go to any length to get back at me. I needed to be careful around her.
“That’s funny,” Brittany mused, not moving an inch as she smiled up at me, radiating a false innocence. “I could’ve sworn you had no idea what was yours and what wasn’t.” She stood in a flourish, grinning, standing a bit too close to me for comfort. Her voice dropped to a bare whisper, and she said, “The whole school will be watching you now. If you so much as lay another finger on what’s mine, you’ll regret it.”
The threat was taken, and I knew enough not to respond. Not here, not with an entire class around us.
Her eyes dropped to my shirt—an old, simple V-neck T-shirt—and she muttered, “I mean, look at you. The only way you’d ever land a guy around here is by throwing yourself at him.” A dig at my appearance, definitely. Brittany said nothing else as she walked away, leaving the classroom with a sashay of her hips no one else could imitate.
My teeth ground as I sat in my seat, setting my books on my desk. The seat under me was warm from Brittany’s ass, which made me want to gag. If there was anyone’s ass-warmth I wanted to avoid at all costs, it was that bitch’s.
Defiant: A High School Bully Romance (Midpark High Book 2) Page 5
