I leaned on the counter near my jacket—might’ve cocked my hips a bit, too. “You seem tense, Jacob. Are you sure there’s nothing I can do?”
He folded his arms over his chest, keeping at least ten feet between us. “Just tell me why you wanted to meet today,” he muttered, pointedly ignoring what I’d said.
“Straight to business, huh?”
Jacob’s hazel eyes glared at me. He worked to take off his jacket, keeping himself away from me as he hung it on the metal hanger near the door. “With you, always.” I laughed at that, which caused him to harrumph like the grouchy grouch he was, “What?”
I shrugged. “You weren’t all business Friday night.”
A muscle in his jaw ticked, and he moved into the living room, practically collapsing onto his couch. “That conversation never happened,” he muttered.
“That’s funny, because I strictly remember it happening.” Pushing off the counter, I moved to sit beside him. As I did, my side brushed up against his. Okay, I might be enjoying this a little bit too much; sue me. Teasing Jacob was fun.
The moment my arm grazed his, he leaped up, scowling at me. “Why do you have to get so close to me?” He stood on the other side of the coffee table, glaring at me as if his stare could stop my heart from beating.
I was slow to stand. “I was just sitting next to you…” When I moved around the small table, he walked the opposite way. He was determined to keep space between us, which only made me want to prod him even more. Call me weak, but Jacob’s scowling was adorable.
“No, you weren’t.”
My head tilted. “Then what was I doing?”
“You were—you were not just sitting next to me,” he muttered, frowning a deep, almost pouting expression. “You need to stay at least five feet away from me—”
“For your sanity or mine?” I cut in, giving him the most innocent look I could muster. As it turned out, I wasn’t so innocent, so it was kind of tough. My lips curled into a frown. “Why is Mr. Grumps so grumpy today?”
He lifted a hand, as if he was going to touch me, but then the fingers on that hand curled until he pointed at me. “You,” Jacob said, “are a terrible, terrible girl.”
“I can be a good girl, if that’s what you want.” Okay, that was laced with heavy sexual undertones, wasn’t it? God, the serious conversation he and I needed to have aside, this was literally making my day.
Jacob’s eyes widened a bit, and for a while, he could say nothing else. “I…I never should’ve brought you back here.” With a handsome scowl on his face, he grabbed my jacket off the counter, tossing it at me. “We’re leaving. We’re going somewhere else to talk.”
I made no moves to catch the jacket. I simply let it hit my chest and fall to the ground. “I’m not going anywhere,” I said.
“Put on the jacket,” he growled out, pointing to the heap of a hoodie on the ground. When I did not move a muscle, he repeated, “Put the fucking jacket on.”
“Make me.”
My words were a challenge, and he took them as such. Jacob temporarily forgot about keeping distance between us, storming to my side as he snatched the jacket up off the floor. He was measured in standing straight, his angry eyes turning to me, his chest rising and falling with loud breaths.
He was only a few inches taller than me, so his face was dangerously close to mine. I could feel the hotness of his breath on my cheeks, could smell the manly muskiness of his scent. I could see each and every prickle of stubble on his cheeks, since he never took care of himself.
Hmm. Ten years wasn’t that much of a difference, was it?
Before he could say anything, before he could realize how close he was to me and take a step back, I lifted a hand, running it along the side of his face. Just a soft touch, enough to feel the prickle of his stubble against my fingertips, enough to hear the immediate hitch in his breathing.
“I like riling you up,” I whispered, meeting his eyes. They were so close, they were hard to focus on. “I don’t know why, but I do.” I let my hand fall away, breathing out a soft sigh.
Who was I kidding? I might want to fire Jacob to keep him safe, but I didn’t want him out of my life entirely. Even if he didn’t want to teach me some self-defense, I’d have to figure out another way to keep seeing him.
I couldn’t cut him out completely.
“You…” Jacob trailed off, his eyes dropping—and for a split-second, I wondered if he stared at my mouth, or if I was just projecting my confusing feelings for the man onto him. “What am I going to do with you?” He held my hoodie off to the side, but he made no moves to force it on me or hand it over.
He also wasn’t stepping away.
I bit my lower lip—which Jacob definitely saw. So he was looking at my mouth. “I could think of a few things.” That definitely crossed the innuendo line and was overtly sexual. Oh, well. I never claimed to be an angel, and being here in Midpark, surrounded by all this sexy testosterone and the guys radiating it, I was feeling frisky.
He chuckled softly at that. “You are something else, aren’t you?” With his eyes still a bit lower than they should be, he asked, “I assume you didn’t want to come here to tease me like this?” It was like every word he spoke was harder for him to say than the previous one, like being this close to me was a strain on his willpower.
Was it wrong to feel good about having such power over him? Was it bad for me to like the fact that I could bring a reaction like that out of him? Jacob Hall, crumbling into dust in my palm.
“No,” I spoke, pausing, resisting my urge to lean into him, to press my nose against his neck and breathe him in. “I need to let you go.”
Shit. Probably should’ve said it a bit differently.
That got him to snap out of the serious funk he was in, and he took a step back from me, glaring once again. “What?” His brown eyebrows furrowed, and he shook his head. “Let me go? Jaz—”
“I’ve thought about it long and hard,” I told him, “and I think it needs to be done. With everything you told me about the Fitzpatricks, I’m not worried about my mom anymore. And the Scotts—”
It was his turn to interrupt me. Jacob scowled as he said, “That Vaughn kid got to you, didn’t he? Fuck, I knew he would. I knew it.”
“It’s not Vaughn.” Well, it sort of was, but not quite. “He doesn’t know I’m doing this.”
The look Jacob gave me right then could kill. “Then what?”
Now was the time I wished I could be close with him, when I wished I could lean my head against his chest and touch him. Hug him. Something. “I don’t want you to get hurt because of me.” I didn’t doubt that what Vaughn had told me was true: soon enough his brother Markus would realize they were being looked into, and I’d never forgive myself if something bad happened to Jacob because of it.
Because of me.
“So, you hired me to look into the Scotts, and now you’re firing me because you don’t want me to look into them?” Jacob frowned. “Make up your fucking mind, Jaz.”
I did not like his tone. Not one bit. “You should be happy that I’m letting you off. They could probably kidnap you and dump your body somewhere it’d never be found.” That was most likely my crazy mind at work, but you never knew these days. Plus, money could hide a lot.
“You think I care about me?” Jacob gestured to his otherwise empty apartment. “You think I have a wonderful life here? Do you think I’m afraid of those fuckers? They shit money, cover up their crimes with green, and get away with it. I’ve known that for years. The Scotts are just like everyone else in Midpark. Maybe worse, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to sit back and cower in my fucking boots.” He let out a disbelieving laugh. “Don’t say you’re doing this for my own good. You’re smarter than that.”
I had no idea what he was going on about, but I did not like what he’d said before. “You might not care about yourself, but I do. If you ever got hurt because of me, I couldn’t live with that.”
Jacob shook his
head, giving me a bitter smile. “No refunds.”
Oh, this guy knew exactly what to say to annoy me, didn’t he? The power went both ways, I guess. “I don’t care about the money.” Hell, I still had no idea who shoved the money into my locker to begin with, anyways, and at this point, I’d given up trying to discover who it was. They clearly weren’t stepping in to own up.
He was barely listening to me, now. “I can’t believe you made me drive all the way here, just so you could fire me.” He shoved the jacket at me. “Take it. We’re leaving.”
“No.”
Jacob looked like he wanted to strangle me, which I guess I couldn’t blame him for. If I was in his shoes, I’d probably want to kill me, too.
“Just because I don’t want you looking into the Scotts doesn’t mean I don’t want you in my life,” I muttered, hating all this mushy gushy crap. I really didn’t do it well.
“Oh, do you want to be friends?” Jacob took on a demeaning tone, and he tossed the jacket over his shoulder, landing it on the floor. He clapped once, totally overdoing the enthusiasm, if you ask me. “I’ve always wanted a friend. It’s what my life is missing. You and I can hang out and talk about your boyfriend Vaughn—”
“Stop it,” I muttered, wanting to slap him. To push him. To do something to snap him out of it. This was not how I was expecting it to go. “You’re being mean.”
He cocked his head, giving me a look that was a bit too demeaning for my liking. “I thought you liked it when I was mean?”
“I like it when you’re grouchy, not when you’re being mean just to be mean.” My lips pursed, and I found myself closing the distance between us, poking him hard in the chest—God, his chest muscles were rock frigging hard. “I don’t like it when you’re prickly just to try to push me away.”
Jacob swatted my finger off his chest, growling out, “I don’t have to push you away. You’re a fucking child.”
I really, really hated it when he called me a kid. Or a child. Or insert any adjective of kid there. Hated it with all of my being. “I am not a kid,” I hissed back, poking him again just to annoy him. Just because I knew he didn’t like it. Call me petty. “I. Am. Not. A. Kid.” Each word came with another poke, until my finger was sore.
Yes, that might’ve been something a kid would’ve done, but what could I say? This guy was trying my patience.
This time he grabbed my wrist, forcing my hand off his chest and holding it to my side. Somehow, the action brought me closer to him—or maybe Jacob closer to me. Either way, our chests touched, both of us breathing hard from the fight, and whatever else I might’ve said or done faded in my mind.
“You…” he whispered, saying nothing else. Before I knew what was happening, his other arm circled my back, holding me against him, as if I was going to try to squirm away. With one hand on my wrist, the other hooked behind me, I was pinned against him with nowhere to go.
It…was not a bad place to be.
Well, if he was going to curl his arm around my back, the least I could do was the same with my free arm and his neck.
My arm snaked around him slowly, bringing his head down to mine. He glared at me like he hated me, like he truly loathed me for somehow putting us in this position, and yet, the way he held onto me, his thumb digging into my wrist and his arm like iron behind me, told me he was not about to let me go.
“Are you going to finish that sentence, or should I guess where you were going with that?” I asked, my voice a bare whisper. It felt too good to be pressed against him, to feel his lungs expand and contract, to feel his rippling pectorals against my chest, his bicep curled around me like a firm hug. The fingers on the hand encircling my wrist loosened but did not let go entirely.
If I was honest, I’d say I didn’t want him to.
God, things were complicated with me and my feelings, huh? I had a whole list of guys I cared for, at this point.
“It was like you were put here to drive me crazy,” Jacob spoke, his forehead brushing against mine. “If I was a better man, I would let you go.”
There went Jacob again, saying he wasn’t a good man. For some reason, it annoyed me to no end when he said things like that.
“You are a good man,” I whispered, the arm around his neck loosening so that I could run my fingers through his hair. My entire body was flushed with heat, my inner core wanting. If Jacob threw me over his shoulder and took me into his room, I would have absolutely no willpower to say no.
“If you knew everything about me, you’d know you were wrong.” He let out a long breath. Our mouths were so close. All it would take was a small movement of my head, and I could kiss him, taste him. A tiny movement was all it would take for me to know what it felt like to give in utterly and completely.
Maybe he had some skeletons in his closet, or maybe he was trying to put distance between us because of what happened with Celeste three years ago. Either way, when I said what I said next, I meant it with all of my heart: “I don’t care.”
I didn’t care if he had skeletons. I didn’t care if we walked the line of inappropriateness. I just didn’t care.
Jacob released my wrist, and instantly my arm fell to my side. The hand that had been holding it moved to my chin, cupping my jaw, his fingers digging into the sides of my face a bit harder than I’d like, but nowhere near hard enough to hurt. His nose grazed mine, and my whole body ached with need. “You should,” he muttered.
His thumb grazed the corner of my mouth, and I swear to God, I’d never wanted someone so bad. Not in my entire life. My body was on fire, my nerves aching with a need to feel some kind of release. The mere feeling of his thumb on my mouth sent a wave of electricity zapping down my spine, making me arch my back and further press into him. He didn’t seem to mind too much.
The hand I had in his hair tightened, pulling gently on the short strands of brown hair I had ahold of. It took everything in my power to not kiss him right then, to simply breathe him in and let the passion between us spiral and multiply.
“God help me,” he murmured, his eyes closing slowly, a half-lidded look the last thing I saw before I closed my own. “I’m not this strong. I can’t…”
Can’t keep myself away from you? Can’t resist you? Can’t stop myself any longer?
Guess we’d never know what Jacob Hall was going to say, because it was that moment his lips crashed down upon mine, his thumb moving aside, his fingers still clamped around my jaw and forcing my face to remain still.
He tasted like heat and fire, his mouth rough on mine, taking what he wanted when he wanted. My body instantly responded to his, and I kissed him back with a passion I felt deep within my soul. All of my worries faded away, our little fight forgotten. He held onto me fiercely, as if he was afraid I’d try to pull away, like the back and forth between us before had been nothing more than a joke.
But it wasn’t. I wasn’t that cruel. I could do a lot of things, but I could never toy with someone’s feelings.
Not like Archer could.
It was an embrace I could lose myself in. Time itself ceased to matter, as long as that rough, demanding mouth was attached to mine. His stubble pricked my chin, but I didn’t care. I didn’t care if I’d come out of this kiss with stubble burn or bruises where his fingers had been along my jaw. I literally cared about nothing other than the taste of him on my tongue.
My free hand went to his side, fingers gripping the loose fabric of his shirt, pulling our lower halves together as much as I could. I wanted more. I wanted everything Jacob had, laid bare. I wanted it all, and I wasn’t afraid of it. Maybe I should’ve been. Maybe I should’ve taken a step back and looked at the bigger picture here.
I didn’t, though. I couldn’t. All logical thoughts had flown out of my brain the moment those lips found mine.
He was the one who pulled his mouth off me first, not entirely, but just enough to whisper, “Fuck.” A one-word statement that actually said quite a lot. Never had the word fuck been so expressive—unless you w
ere Geralt of Rivia, in which case I thought Jacob came to a close second in his muttering of it.
“For once,” I whispered, “I agree with you.” I was left bereft when Jacob pulled away from me, his arms dropping to his sides. The loss of his heat made me feel unbearably cold, and I instantly wanted to pull him back to me, wrap those arms around me, and lose myself in him again. Now that I knew how easy it was, it would be hard to not constantly think about it when I was with him.
Jacob ran a hand along his cheek, his hazel stare on the floor near my feet. “I should take you home.”
What? No, that’s not—
But my stupid, stupid mouth could only say “Okay.” I probably shouldn’t push Jacob too much in one day, anyway. I’d give him some space before I spoke with him again, before I tried for some non-professional time alone with him.
I ended up thinking about his kiss all the way home, and all night.
Alas, even thoughts of Jacob Hall and his scruffy, cute self could not distract me from the havoc that took place the next day.
Chapter Thirteen – Vaughn
When Monday rolled by, I was actually excited to go to school. Not for the classes or anything like that, but for Jaz. I wanted to see her, looked forward to sitting by her at lunch and listening to her smooth, entrancing voice.
I never thought I could fall for someone else, never dreamed I’d want to feel someone else’s skin on mine, but with Jaz here, everything I used to think was wrong.
She made me feel. When I all but confessed these things to her, I didn’t think she really understood what I meant. Sure, other girls had tried to get with me. Ones other guys would call pretty, but I’d never looked at them twice. I didn’t care to. But Jaz?
What could I say about Jaz? She was different. I had no idea what that difference was, but it made me feel things I never dreamt of feeling. I felt almost normal, which was ridiculous in and of itself, considering the family I came from and what went on in my house’s basement.
Defiant: A High School Bully Romance (Midpark High Book 2) Page 16
