Chapter Eleven
A few weeks had passed since Cyrus and I had our falling out. During that time, I hadn’t said a single word to him. I skipped out on training with him because I couldn’t stand to be around him. Seeing him reminded me of what I chose to become. Seeing him reminded me that I was a step closer to taking life or a step closer to death. Both were equally frightening. It was easy not talking to him because after a day of my silence, he decided that I no longer existed. I wasn’t even a blip in his radar. He looked right through me like I was nothing but a ghost. In his eye, I was a disappointment, because I became afraid.
Renée took me clay pigeon shooting for a couple of hours a week. It was an excuse to leave the house and to get away from Cyrus. It also gave me the opportunity to shoot things that moved. It was nice not having to feel Cyrus’s judgmental gaze if I missed or hearing him compare my failure to a scenario that would result in my demise. Nobody was perfect. It was refreshing. I was having fun for once. This past year, fun didn’t seem possible, because Cyrus was the bluntest person I had ever met, and I was incredibly sad due to the things I had been through. Seeing Renée with a gun was kind of frightening because she didn’t miss a single clay target. She told me her secret but it wasn’t much of a secret: practice. I got a lot better during our time spent together and rarely missed. She was right, practice makes perfect.
When we weren’t shooting things, we were out and about, having the time of our lives. We did the kind of things that normal people did, like going to the movies, playing mini-golf, swimming at a crowded beach, teaching me how to drive a car. We even went to Disneyland. I had a blast, mainly because I had never done those things. I never had that luxury growing up. I had been a secret.
Renée and Cyrus only shared one personality trait. They were guarded and didn’t speak about their past or feelings. To be honest, they didn’t really do casual conversation. If I asked something personal, the answers were vague or the subject was changed. I decided it wasn’t worth getting worked up about it. It wasn’t my place to know but that didn’t mean I could stop my curiosity. If she wanted me to know more about her, she would open up in her own time. I just had to be patient. I already knew enough about Cyrus by stories other people had told me. Renée was a mystery. I wasn’t even sure that she had a love interest or why she lived with Cyrus. They were complete opposites which led me to believe that they hadn’t been romantically involved. The way they bickered told me otherwise but I just couldn’t see it. They were just friends, nothing more. They slept in separate bedrooms and only spoke to one another to argue over something. They lived in the same house but were miles apart. That’s how I felt, too. I had made it that way. It was my fault for freaking out. Cyrus didn’t hold back his punches, figuratively and literally. I was surprised I lasted as long as I did without going completely insane.
I was lying on my bed, reading a book, resting my back against the headboard. I had already showered and was fully dressed. I just didn’t feel like leaving my room. Renée told me she was heading out and wouldn’t be back until late. She suggested taking the day off to relax. That’s what I had planned until Cyrus burst into my room...
I raised my eyes from my book. It was kind of distracted seeing him. His hair wasn’t in its usual braid. It flowed down his chest like a golden river and gleamed so brightly in the sunlight. His Arctic eyes melted in the presence of anger and were fixed on me. That handsome and arrogant face was no longer looking straight through me like I didn’t exist. I became noticed.
“Get up. Break time is over. We have work to do and you can’t just sit there and pretend everything you have worked towards didn’t happen. I don’t give a crap if you’re afraid of the things that could happen out in the real world. That is why I’m training you as hard as I can so you don’t make mistakes out there and fail. You need to snap the hell out of it and get back on your feet before I force you to. I have given you more than enough time and space. I will wait no longer. Come with me now or go pack your bags to live with your uncle. You are no longer welcome here if you go back on your word.”
I snapped my book shut and threw it at Cyrus’s face. He caught the book but the force of my throw made his hand jerk back and smack his own face. That made me crack a small smile.
“I wasn’t pretending. I just needed some time to live a carefree life so I could remind myself what I could have once the agency was brought down. You mistake my break for a waste of time. It was quite the opposite. It made me feel more strongly about my choice. I’ll go with you. Just know that if you start to prattle on about the consequences of my mistakes, that I might shoot you. I am well aware of what could happen to me should I fail. You don’t need to remind me every time I make a mistake.”
“Fine. You’ll want to wear a jacket for where we are going and change into less colourful clothes.”
“Why? Where are we going?”
“Hunting. Don’t bother about breakfast. We will grab something on the road.”
“You want me to shoot poor and defenceless animals?” I was an animal lover. There was no way I was setting foot outside this house to go hunting.
“Where do you think meat comes from? Animals are killed so we can eat meat. Meat doesn’t grow on trees. If you were a pure animal lover, you would be a vegetarian or a vegan. You are none of those so don’t sit there and spout nonsense. Join me or pack to go home. The choice is yours.” Cyrus left after he spoke, slamming my bedroom door behind him.
I’m going to bloody shoot him...
I didn’t want to shoot animals. They didn’t need to be part of my training. Why was I comfortable with the idea of killing criminals, but when it came to animals, I didn’t want to pull the trigger? It was obvious. Animals were innocent. Yes, there was a hierarchy in the animal kingdom and some species were quite ruthless, but in comparison with humans, they were innocent. Humans were vicious, selfish and cruel.
You can take me hunting, Cyrus, but you can’t make me pull the trigger.
I changed into darker clothes so I wouldn’t stick out. I replaced my purple skinny jeans for black pants. I slipped into a black leather jacket and pulled up the zip. Cyrus told me not to be colourful, so going all black seemed appropriate. He wouldn’t have anything to complain about.
I tied my hair up and left my room, wishing Renée was here to back me up. I was on my own and there was no talking my way out of this one. I tried figuring out an escape plan on my way down the stairs. The only one I could come up with was knocking Cyrus out cold in the woods and stealing the car to drive home. I’d get lost, for starters, and after spending hours of training together, he’d probably see that coming from a mile away. He knew my fighting style because I fought exactly like him. That complicated things, plus he was more experienced than me. There was no out.
“You’re looking at me like I just asked you to kill a puppy. If you’re this hesitant about killing animals, what’s going to happen when you need to kill a person?” Cyrus asked me on our way out of the house. Not only did I notice that he was walking behind me so he could watch my every move, I realised he didn’t trust me.
I swivelled around to jab him in the chest, getting my fingers caught in his golden braid; he did his hair before he left. I was tempted to wrap my hand around the braid and yank it. I resisted the urge and left my fingers caught in the silky smoothness of his hair.
“I swear to god, Cyrus, I will shoot you if you keep this up.”
Those Arctic eyes gleamed with amusement. “I think I liked you better when you didn’t say a word to me.”
“That makes two of us, jerk,” I snapped, shaking out my hand and storming over to the jeep.
The jeep had black tinted windows, making the vehicle look mysterious and daunting. I slipped into the passenger seat and slammed the door shut.
“I borrowed this jeep off a friend. You shouldn’t be taking your frustration out on it,” Cyrus commented when he sat in the driver’s seat, clipping down the seatbelt.
> “Wow, you have friends? Jeeps are heavy duty. They can handle my frustration. You should be more worried about yourself,” I muttered, putting on my seatbelt.
“Oh?” Cyrus mused, pulling out of the driveway. “What did I say about making idle threats, Joan?”
“It isn’t an idle threat, Cyrus.”
“You don’t frighten me, not in the slightest.”
“That’s because I’m not a monster. You’re only afraid of the monsters.”
“Your uncle is quite the monster,” Cyrus replied in a soft murmur, keeping those cold eyes on the road.
“You brought out the monster. He was only protecting me. That isn’t who he is.”
“You don’t know a thing about him.”
“He’s a loving father who would do anything to keep his family safe. Yes, I do know a few things about him. I know the entire magic community fears his power because of what he did to dark covens. Don’t you dare speak to me about him like you know him better than me. You know nothing.”
“Seeing nothing but good in people when they have darkness inside of them is going to get you killed.”
“That’s not true. I see no good inside you because you’re just an ass.”
Cyrus smirked. “I’m a cruel and evil person, Joan. There is no good inside me to see.”
I didn’t really know what to say to that. He was a bounty hunter. He killed people for money and also tortured his victims. When he came home covered in blood after a target hunt, it was clear to see he enjoyed taking his time. There hadn’t been a moment where he came home blood free. He got up close and personal. I wondered if he tortured his victims for information or if he just did it for entertainment. I was sitting mere inches away from him and I didn’t feel afraid. He wouldn’t dare lay a harmful hand on me, with an intent to kill, knowing that Damian was keeping a very watchful eye on me. Cyrus needed me alive. He needed me to bring the agency down. Without me being his weapon, he would have nothing.
“Why do you kill people? Why didn’t you walk away?” My last question wasn’t complete. I couldn’t add once you finished off the Nazis because he didn’t know that I knew. Well, as far as I knew, he wasn’t aware.
“Isn’t it obvious? I enjoy killing people.”
“And torturing them,” I muttered, watching the scenery outside pass by. Staring at Cyrus was making me uncomfortable, due to the dark nature of our conversation.
“I only torture for information, Joan, not for the hell of it.”
“Good to know.” My reply was sarcastic.
“You knew the kind of person I was before signing up to be my student.”
“I wasn’t given much of a choice. Damian and Lorenzo didn’t want to–”
“Be the ones responsible for turning you into a killer,” Cyrus finished for me. “It’s because they love you, Joan. Love is a weakness.”
“Those without love have nothing to lose or fight for.”
“Those with love hesitate and put others first before themselves, getting them killed.”
“That won’t happen to me.”
“Yes, it will, because you are too kind-hearted. That tough girl mask you wear when we’re training doesn’t fool me. I’ve been inside your mind. I know your heart better than you know it yourself.”
“I know the sacrifices I’ll need to make. Taking people’s lives to get to where I want to be is unavoidable. I know that I need to put myself first.”
“Knowing that and being ready for it are two completely different things.”
“Bite me. You can’t put my actions into words when I haven’t been given the chance to prove myself.”
“Why do you think I’m taking you hunting today? If you choke when it comes to shooting an animal, then you’re not ready to shoot a person. We aren’t leaving the woods until you kill something. There’s a reason why the back of this jeep is filled with a variety of bags. I’m prepared for anything, even living in the woods until you kill something.”
“You’re kidding!” I exclaimed, returning my attention back to him.
Cyrus’s face gave nothing away. It never did. That arrogant curve in his jaw was permanent. His lips were in a tight line and his cold eyes never looked at me. They were focused on the road.
“Dead serious,” he eventually said, glancing at me for a brief moment.
“You can’t do this.”
“Watch me.”
“I am not killing animals.”
“Then prepare to live in the forest until you do.”
Cyrus grabbed a pair of sunglasses out from the backseat and slipped them over his eyes. He pulled into a drive-thru and put the window down.
“Two bacon, egg and cheese bagels, four hash browns, and two hot chocolates.”
“Oh, so you’re ordering food without asking me first as well?” I snapped at him.
“Anything else, sir?” the machine asked.
“No,” Cyrus replied.
“Come on through.”
Cyrus didn’t bother putting the window back up since he would have to pay for our order. He drove through to join the breakfast car queue and waited for the car in front to drive ahead.
“I saved you the trouble of drooling over the menu, unsure what to get. You’ll thank me later,” he said, progressing in the queue. “The bagels are quite delicious. You should be grateful that I’m letting you have some cheat food.”
“I’ll be grateful when you let me make decisions instead of making them for me.”
The girl at the order window blushed when she laid eyes on Cyrus and got incredibly flustered. She twirled her blonde ponytail and blinked those wide green eyes at him more times than I could count. He had hidden those frosty eyes behind sunglasses to avoid attention. People were incredibly wary of immortals and usually called the agency to dispose of them. The girl was so distracted by Cyrus’s handsome beauty, him being immortal was probably the last thing on her mind.
“Your order, sir,” she said, short of breath, handing Cyrus a paper-bag and a cup holder with two drinks. She was going to start hyperventilating soon. Jeez.
Cyrus handed me the drinks and put the bag on his lap. “Thank you,” Cyrus said, flashing her a dazzling smile.
The girl blushed even more. I was going to lose my appetite if they kept this up.
“Keep the change. Buy something nice,” he added, giving her a fifty-dollar note.
“Thank you so much!”
Cyrus put the window up and drove off. He tucked the sunglasses into the front of his shirt when he pulled out onto the main road. He grabbed the food he wanted and handed the bag to me.
“You disgust me,” I muttered, putting the hot chocolate’s into the jeep’s cup holder.
I unwrapped my bagel and started to eat. I was still mad that he ordered food for me but I couldn’t deny that the bagel was absolutely mouth-watering. Damn him.
“It’s called flirting, Joan.”
“I know what it is and what it’s called. You still disgust me.”
“What? Is that jealousy I hear in your voice?”
I almost choked on my bagel. “Hell no!”
“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” he said, chuckling.
“You are the most arrogant, self-centred, bluntest, egotistical jerk I have ever met. You respect nobody but yourself. Your opinion of others is so very little because you can’t see people past your blinding godlike complex. The only good thing you have going for yourself is looks. You’re gorgeous but your personality sucks.”
“I’d like to remind you who it is you’re speaking to,” he threatened, voice cold.
“I’d like to remind you that I’m entitled to my opinion. My opinions are the only thing I have left because you took away my right to make decisions. If you can’t handle the truth about how I see you then maybe you should keep your snide comments to yourself. I am not jealous. I’ll never be jealous.”
“Just shut up and eat your breakfast.”
“I am. It’s called multitaski
ng.”
The rest of the trip we didn’t speak. Cyrus blasted rock music to drown out any attempts of conversation. It was a waste of time because I wasn’t going to try and talk to him anyway. I had gone several weeks without speaking to him and pretending he didn’t exist. A couple of hours was nothing. I just spent my time eating, drinking, and trying to come up with escape scenarios. I had made it quite clear that I wasn’t going to kill any animals. He made it so I didn’t have a choice in the matter.
We were going to camp in the damn forest if I didn’t kill anything. Cyrus had brought several supplies along with him. Maybe if I burned the supplies, he would be forced to shorten our trip. The only issue with that was Damian restricted the flame magic inside of me. Before Damian left, he told me I wouldn’t be able to use flames again until I was old enough and ready. That was eighteen and over. Two years. I wasn’t up to that stage yet. Damian also told me not to use flames in a fight because that would reveal to my enemies what I was: an immortal.
Maybe I could bring myself to shoot a duck. People went hunting all the time. Why was I so reluctant? Cyrus made an incredibly valid point. If I was a pure animal lover, I’d be a vegan or vegetarian. I was neither. If I hesitated killing animals, then I would do the same for humans. Humans could speak and beg for their lives to be spared. Animals had no say. I just had to bite the bullet so we could go home. There was no out. I had to shoot to kill. There was no other option.
Cyrus pulled up onto a dirt track, parking the jeep near the outskirts of a forest. There were no other cars. We were alone. He switched the radio off before killing the engine. His hand stayed wrapped around the keys in the ignition for a long time. His concentration was lost inside the forest, eyes staring intently past the tree trunks, as if he could see something I couldn’t.
“What is it?” I asked.
“Nothing. I was just making sure there was nobody here. Wouldn’t want you to accidentally shoot someone now would we?” His tone was sarcastically bitter.
Cyrus yanked out the keys and jumped out of the jeep.
“You’re pulling my leg. Surely you don’t have X-ray vision and see for miles,” I said to him when he opened up the back door, pulling bags out one by one. “Besides, the only person I plan on accidentally shooting today is you.”
“That would be on purpose, not an accident.”
“Accidents don’t accidentally happen,” I countered, smiling. “People do stupid things that lead to stupid mistakes that could have been avoided.”
“We’re here to kill things, not have debates about things I couldn’t care less about. Get out of the jeep.”
“You don’t need to pull out that many bags. We won’t be camping overnight. I promise I’ll shoot a duck.”
“Your word right now doesn’t mean crap.”
“Believe me, Cyrus. I will,” I replied adamantly, staring him down.
Those Arctic eyes met mine, returning my intense stare. Usually a stare like that made me squirm but I held my ground. I wasn’t going to go back on my word. I didn’t bluff, not for anything. When I said something, I stuck by it. That was one of my golden rules. I never broke a promise.
Cyrus was the one who folded when he chucked the bags from outside onto the backseat. “If you chicken out, princess, I won’t let you live it down, not for a second.”
“It’s a duck, not a chicken,” I retorted.
“Nobody likes a smart ass. Get out of the jeep,” he said, slamming the backdoor. Where had I heard that line before?
I got out of the jeep and breathed in the fresh forest air, knocking the door shut. The last time I had been inside a forest, we were running for our lives to get away from the agency. Lorenzo had slung me over his shoulder, sprinting in the pouring rain, while being chased by Maria. My parents were both dead, gone, and all I did was run...
“Hey!” Cyrus snapped, clicking his fingers in front of my face to get my attention. His other hand was holding a shotgun and there was a backpack by his feet. “Did you listen to anything I just said?”
I shook my head, not just to say no, but to clear my mind of that awful memory. “Sorry. What?”
“I said you better not cry over each animal you kill. I didn’t pack tissues.”
“This is why I said those things about you earlier. You’re an ass.”
“I’ll give you this shotgun when I know you won’t shoot me with it. Let’s go,” he said, slinging the backpack over his shoulder. “Don’t even think about trying to swipe the gun from me. I’ll knock you on your feet, girl.”
“Never crossed my mind, jerk,” I muttered, following him into the trees.
I didn’t shadow him. I walked by his side so he wouldn’t glance over his shoulder every five seconds to make sure I wouldn’t tackle him.
“Did I ever tell you that you have a bad attitude?” he mentioned, ducking under a branch.
“That’s the pot calling the kettle black.”
“I have an excuse. I need to be hard on you.”
“You were like this before you met me. You can’t use me as an excuse. I wouldn’t have such a bad attitude if you were a little nicer to me. Being cold on a constant basis, I’m surprised you haven’t turned into an ice cube. Obviously your short temper keeps you warm enough to thaw.”
“You have no idea the kind of man I truly am. I’m tame when I’m around you. I hold back. What you’ve seen is my nicer side.”
A laugh of disbelief escaped me. I covered my mouth in an attempt to a smother my laughter but it didn’t help. I had to stop walking before I fell over. I held onto a tree for balance, feeling the bark flake beneath my fingers.
“Oh! That’s a good one. Funny, definitely funny,” I spluttered when I managed to catch my breath.
“The only reason why I hold back is because I’m not allowed to harm you or kill you. Keep that in mind the next time you insult me.”
“Empty threats. You always tell me not to make them,” I paused when he stopped walking and spun around. “You need me.”
Cyrus stormed over to me. He got up close and personal. “I could always find someone else willing to bring the agency down. There are hundreds.”
“But you chose me. I am the prophecy child. You’re stuck with me.
“That is precisely why I can’t harm or kill you.”
“Bully for you. Keep walking, buddy. I don’t like people invading my personal space.”
“Be grateful that we came here to kill animals and not spar because I am very close to losing my cool with you.”
“D’aw, did I strike a nerve?” I questioned, using a condescending tone. “You’re always so overzealous about spouting the cold hard truth, yet when I say something you don’t want to hear, you threaten me. There is no fairness in that. None at all. So don’t you dare stand there and say that killing or harming me has ever crossed your mind because it never has. As soon as I became part of the playing field, you wanted me. You don’t strike me to be the teaching type, yet I was your exception. Knowing that, I know that killing me is a non-existent thought. You need me, Cyrus. You’ve always needed me.”
“Do you think you’re irreplaceable?”
“I know I am. I’m one of a kind.”
We stood there in silence for a long moment. The wind, the crack of twigs, bird calls and chirping insects were the only sounds that passed through my ears, along with our breathing and heartbeats. Sunlight filtered through the trees, lighting the ground in patches. We were standing in one of those patches, so close to one another. Cyrus’s honey scent mingled with the smell of nature. I could feel the warmth from him and the sun through my jacket. The anger melted away in that peaceful warmth. Another emotion was beginning to replace that fading rage.
“Get out of my face, we have some game to shoot,” I said before my mind wandered elsewhere.
“You’re going to choke and bawl.”
“The more we stand here and argue, the more daylight we lose. Lead the way. You’re the expert.”
&n
bsp; “Are you blushing?”
“No, there’s just a lot of heat in the sun,” I mumbled, feeling my cheeks redden further. “Just hurry up and go so we can get this over and done with.”
“As you wish,” he said, moving away from me and walking on ahead.
What the hell was that just now? Clearly I was losing my mind. I found him attractive, yes, but being gorgeous couldn’t overshadow the fact that he was a dangerous and psychotic jerk. That feeling just before had been nothing. I had imagined it. There was nothing between us but conflict.
“C’mon, Joan. The only way out of this forest is killing something.”
I’d squish a bug instead and use that as a loophole. That wasn’t going to cut it, unfortunately. I’d close my eyes, count to ten, and remind myself that this would be the last step before taking a life of a human being. Wild animals would never come close but that was the only preparation available. This was my final hurdle. I would either crash and burn or succeed. Failure wasn’t an option.
Everlasting Flame Page 11
