“You are playing with fire.” He said when their kiss broke and Josie looked over her shoulder as she walked toward the eggs she was cooking and smiled in return. She was definitely playing with fire, and he was probably going to get burned if he did not stop this game. He needed some distance and he needed it right now while he could still think.
“Josie, I need to go to the office today. I need you to stay here. Do not open the door for anyone. You hear?”
“What about breakfast?”
“I'll eat something on the way.”
“Ok, but I was cooking.”
“Sorry, it can't wait.”
“Ok.”
“Do not open the door for anyone. Right now I have no idea who we can trust. Do you understand?”
“I understand.”
“Josie I mean it. Promise me or I will call Jones to stay with you.”
“You know I don't like him.”
“I know, but if I have to, I will involve him to keep you safe... Anyhow, he seems to like you.”
“Okay, I promise. I won't go anywhere.”
“Can I trust you?”
“I'm giving you my word. I won't go anywhere. I will be a prisoner in your apartment.”
Jerome choked on the coffee he had been sipping. Where did she come up with these things? This woman would keep him on his toes, he was sure of that, but he could not let her know how much she affected him. He had to be tough and stop this before it got out of hand.
“Let me have your phone,” said Jerome.
“What are you going to do with it?”
“Nothing, just let me have it.”
“No.”
“Josie. I am warning you...”
“Here, but ...”
Jerome took the phone, unlocked it, and downloaded an app, then did something to his own phone. Josie took mental notes of a couple of things. The first one being to change her password as soon as possible. She had always taken care of herself and would not be dependent on anyone, not even Jerome. As soon as this nightmare was all over she would delete this app. She already had a controlling mother, she did not need a second guard dog.
As Jerome was walking out the door, Josie followed after him to lock the door. All of a sudden he stopped, turned around and gave her a kiss. It had been such a brief kiss, that for a second she thought she had imagined it, but she could still feel the tingling on her lips.
He turned to go, but then he was back kissing her. He molded her body to his, as he was ravishing her mouth. His hands moved possessively up and down her back, but she was disappointed that they never lowered to where she so wanted to be touched. Then it all stopped, and she did not know how they had made it to the sofa. “Sit. We need to talk,” he said.
She felt confused and sat, but almost immediately she jumped up. First he was kissing her as if this would be their last kiss, then...their last kiss? She did not want to hear apologies or excuses. She had heard it all before. It was better if he left it alone.
“I'm not a dog,” she said
“Josie, please sit next to me. We need to talk. The kisses, the desire...”
“There is nothing to talk about. We are two adults playing house. That's it.”
That is exactly what he was afraid of. He wanted more than just a game. Jerome pulled Josie by the arm to the seat next to him, and when he saw she was going to protest, he put two fingers over her lips.
“Josie, what we are experiencing cannot be.”
“Well, I wasn't expecting much, but why not?”
“There is so much. I am here to protect you, not to seduce you.”
“You are not doing anything I don't want you to do; besides, it's just kissing.”
“It's not just kissing. Kissing leads to other things.”
“Jerome we are grown-ups.”
“Yes we are, but I am not looking for a one-night stand. I am too old for that.”
“So, what are you telling me?”
“You are beautiful, but we are not right for each other.”
“Says who? You?”
“Yeah! Says me. When I choose a woman to have a relationship with, it won't start as a game.”
“Are you mocking me, or are you for real?”
“Josie, you are beautiful and sexy. You deserve so much more than just a season.”
“Jerome, please go.”
“I don't want to hurt you. I just know that it won't work between us.”
“You are stressing over nothing. It was just a kiss. I am not going to come and chase you around. I won't become a stalker.”
“Stop! Don't you see?”
“What am I supposed to see? A man that is not only handsome, but every passing woman has to do a double take. A man who is also kind, smart, polite, and very passionate? Not to mention, one who is respectful and kind to my daughter. Don't worry, I won't have any expectations of a future together.”
“Josie, don't do this.”
“Listen Jerome, I know that I cannot expect anything. I have a kid and that alone is a man’s repellent.”
“Vicky is a sweetheart.”
“That she is, but please don't worry. I am not expecting anything.” She got up and walked to the room she shared with Vicky, but as she crossed the threshold, he grabbed her hand and pulled her to him. He gave her a quick kiss and before she could push him away, he stopped. By the lines on his face, she could tell he was conflicted. He looked at her and told her to smile. Then, he stepped back and closed the door, placing a barrier between the two of them.
Josie stayed in the room until she heard the front door close, indicating he was gone. Every second she waited standing by the door, was an extra second of torture.
First he's telling me that a relationship between us could not be, then he's kissing me. This man has the power to hurt me, and it scared me so much. God you know all my secrets. You know how much of a screw up I used to be and continue to be. You know how much I want the happily ever after. Oh, what's the use? I know I don't deserve anything. I won't bother you anymore. It was nice to pretend that there would be a happy ending to my life.
Josie cleaned the apartment, played with Vicky and then sat on the sofa while her daughter sat on the floor between her legs. Josie started going through Vicky's head, removing the nits she might have missed, one hair at a time. What a nightmare lice were!
Josie, for her daughter's sake, tried to smile and get distracted by the monotonous chores, but she still could not help the anger she felt rising within her. She might not be what men looked for in women, but she had enough self-respect to step aside when a relationship was over. Most men she had dated since Vicky only wanted one thing; when she did not put out after the first or second date, they never called again. She did not worry about long-term relationships because she did not expect them anymore. It was actually funny that he thought she would come after him... He could grow old waiting. What an egomaniac he turned out to be!
A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit.
Proverbs 15:13
Chapter 21
Jerome was in his office trying to concentrate on the case but his every thought went back to the feeling of Josie’s wonderful lips on his own. He felt her lips still lingering on his own as if he was stuck in that moment back at his apartment. He was an idiot. First, he was telling her that their relationship could not be, then he was kissing her as if she was his last breath on earth. Her kisses alone were capable of making him believe in what couldn't be; it would be so amazingly wonderful if their relationship could grow. The more he spoke with Josie, the more time he spent with her, and the more he realized that she was an amazing woman. One day she would find a good man to love her and cherish her, she deserved nothing less. He knew he could not be that man, but he still wished he could be, especially after he kept hearing her words. She thought he was so handsome that passing women did a double take. Didn't she realize it was not his good looks they were l
ooking at?
Was she blind? Didn't she see what most other people saw? Their relationship would never survive a day, much less a lifetime. He had done the right thing, even if he had hurt her. She would see it soon enough when their lives went back to normal. Nevertheless, having Josie and Vicky at his house had actually been good for him. All his life he had been terrified of relationships. He had been terrified of another person interfering in his life. He did not like chaos, and he definitely did not partake in drama, but with Josie, he had been able to survive all his fears. He loved having her and Vicky at his house.
He desperately needed to solve this case so she could move back home and he could begin his life. Now that he had a plan and was not afraid of the outcome, he saw God's work in his life.
He pulled out his two lists and added a third list. This time he knew that Josie was not the killer, but what about that uncle of hers? Or the man with the New York accent? Those were his only two suspects at the moment. Her Uncle Ken was the first one he added to the third list. He had to be careful with that one, as his bias against the guy might jeopardize his view. As he wrote down the second suspect, the man with the New York accent, he looked up at his map on the wall. Who was this man? Did he play any part in this? Or was that just an innocent individual looking to buy a house? Were there any such killings up north?
He then looked at the first name again. Everyone knew he was a crooked lawyer, but could he be the killer? What role did he play in the whole thing? Who interrupted the killer at Ivonne's house? And why were the cops not called? He opened his desk drawer to pull the case file out and all he saw were pens, rubber bands, paper clips, and other junk. Where was the file that came from Mississippi? He knew he had left it in this drawer. He opened the two other drawers, and there was no file. He needed that file. He needed to read it again, but most of all, he needed to look at the pictures. He knew that the answers to all his questions were in the pictures. He opened every drawer again, not believing his eyes, and did not see the file. He was ready to blow a gasket.
He took a deep breath to calm down. Was it possible that his partner had actually taken an interest in the case? He doubted it, but he needed to call just in case.
“What do you want Parker?” Said Jones.
“Man, you need to come down off your high horse and change your attitude.”
“Did you call to complain about my attitude?”
“Did you take the Mississippi file?”
“You lost it? Never mind. I have to go.”
Josie was right. There was something about Jones that he did not trust. He looked at his desk. He decided to check it out. As he went to Jones's desk his phone beeped. It was Tom. The text read: “How is the case coming along? On my way to the Hospital with Alexandria. Wish us luck.”
Jerome realized that this was the second time that they were going to the hospital. What happened the first time? He texted his Tom, feeling awful that he had been such a bad friend. He should have checked on them before. Tom had been his friend since they were in elementary school. The least Jerome could do was show he cared. He needed to be there for his friend.
It had always been Tom, Jerome, and Fernando. Everyone knew that where they found one they found all three. Tom's dad and mom were both workaholics. They spent more time traveling than they did at home. Fernando's dad was a mean drunk. When Fernando's dad was sober he was a nice kind man, but when he drunk, he was mean and violent. Both Fernando and Tom spent more time at Jerome's house than they did at their own places. Jerome’s mom always welcomed them. Their friendship had lasted all through high school and into college, then when the three of them got jobs in the same town, they knew it was a God thing.
Jerome was the serous one in the group. He thought and he planned. He was methodical in everything he did. He was not a gambler and he was not a risk taker. Tom was completely the opposite. He rode a motorcycle, bungie jumped, and sky dived on a regular basis. He had even risked his sanity by getting married and then having a child. Fernando was normally calm but did not mind a little risk taking. He claimed that the only reason he had not married yet was because God had not sent him the right woman yet. The three of them were closer than brothers and Jerome felt ashamed he had not made time for his friend.
Right now that their first baby was entering this world, his friend probably needed someone to lean on. He needed to go and check on them. Anyhow he needed space from both Josie and the case. His brain was not working at the moment and his hormones were on overdrive. Every time he saw Josie, he wanted to hold her and to kiss her. He had to stop thinking about her. She was not the right woman for him.
Her kisses and her sassy personality made him want what he couldn't have; he wanted to forget all the reasons they were wrong for each other. Why couldn't she see it too? She thought he was handsome and smart. How could he explain to her that life with him wouldn't be easy? In a relationship you needed so much more than good looks and a healthy brain. It was not just the cultural preconceptions against interracial marriages, it was also his lack of experience with kids. He loved Vicky, but he had no idea how to be a dad. His dad had never been around, how could he do it right?
The type of woman he needed had to come from a complete family to help him learn the things he had missed growing up. The type of woman he needed was agreeable, not argumentative. The type of woman he needed would never lie, and she would do as she was told or at least let him in to her life instead of keeping it locked up and showing off her independent nature.
He definitely needed some space from Josie. She was definitely not the kind of companion he needed. A relationship with a woman like her would be a miserable one.
As he was parking his car at the hospital, a notification letting him know that Josie had left her current location popped up. He lifted his head and begged for a miracle. This woman was going to be the death of him. Where could she be going right now? He tried calling her, but there was no answer. He tried texting, but she did not text back. He would give her five minutes to respond and if not, he would go after her.
He called again and she answered. “Hi, what's up?”
“I thought I told you not to go out and not to open the door for anyone.”
“For your information, I didn't go anywhere; thank you for checking though. Is there something you wanted?” She acted offended by his doubts. She had been so bored that she decided to just go and walk one time around the block. She just needed a little time away from the four walls, then her rotten luck. He had to call before they could even make it to the first intersection. If she had answered the phone, he would have been able to hear the outside noises and who knows how he would have reacted. Yeah! There was a killer out there, but he or she was probably long gone. She could not wait to go back home. Her little trailer was much smaller, but she at least had a garden to dig and plant. At her place her daughter had a place to play.
Jerome decided to visit his friend and then go back by the house before going to the office. He was frustrated that no one had created a reliable tracking app.
Love does not harm a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.
Romans 13:10
Chapter 22
Josie was bored out of her mind, and Vicky was bored as well. There was very little they could do. Neither one of them liked to watch television and she knew that if she chose to go out again, he would know. She could leave the phone in the apartment, but if there was an actual emergency, she would be in trouble. Josie had no idea how to entertain herself, much less her daughter; so when there was a knock on the door, they both jumped at the sound. As Josie was looking through the peephole, Vicky turned the knob.
“I thought I told you not to open the door for anyone,” Jerome said.
“I knew it was you.” She lied.
“You did not, but nevertheless, I came to take you girls out to lunch.”
&n
bsp; “Great! Vicky go tinkle. Let me get my purse.”
Jerome chose a fast food place with a playground. The poor child had been inside since yesterday and he knew kids needed to play. He knew he had made the right choice when Vicky dashed to the back of the place and disappeared among all the other kids. He kept an eye on her and leaned into Josie. “You know what she wants to eat, right?”
“Yes, thank you.”
As they waited in line, Jerome felt eyes on him. He turned to see and there were a couple of women looking at them, who immediately shifted their eyes when they saw him. He put some distance between him and Josie. He needed to respect her personal space.
Josie immediately felt the distance and moved closer to him. He had made his feelings clear to her, but for now she would pretend.
They sat near the playground to keep an eye on Vicky. At first he was quiet and she was quiet. After the conversation they had in the morning, neither knew how to proceed.
Josie sat there munching on a French fry, feeling very uncomfortable. She wished for something unusual she could use as a conversation starter. She stayed quiet. It had felt wonderful when he had rested his hand on her lower back to guide her in. It had made her whole body tingle when he had leaned into her to ask about Vicky. At one point, she could feel him near emotionally, and the very next moment he was a football field away.
“Anything ...”
“Tom had...” Both said at the same time.
“You first.” They said again at the same time, which made them laugh, and Jerome let her go first.
“Any new developments on the case? You know I cannot stay at your place forever.”
He knew it could not last. One lunch together and she was ready to distance herself. She was probably annoyed at having been seen with him.
“I have a couple more things I want to look at, and I think by the end of the week you could move back to your place.”
“Listen Jerome, this is our vacation, and if you think I am going to stay locked inside the whole week, you are going to be mighty disappointed.”
Love is...Blind Page 10
