“Baby, you wanna see God tonight?” I quirked an eyebrow as I wrapped my fingers around her tiny ankle from the foot of the bed. “’Cause I can make that shit happen.”
“Kiel.” There was no amusement on her face as she spoke, but her eyes never left my dick. “Tomorrow.”
I thrust my hips out, moving my stiff cock in the air, swaying back and forth, giving her a dick dance. “This ain’t waiting until tomorrow, honey.”
Cara dissolved into a fit of laughter, and I used the moment to give her ankle a quick pull, bringing her down to the edge of the bed. She screamed as her body moved, but she didn’t put up much of a fight. A little tugging and Cara was face-to-face with the one part of me she always claimed to like best.
“Oh, hey there,” she said, staring at my cock as I continued to move it.
Gotta admit, I was shameless as hell, but I didn’t give a fuck. I wanted my wife, and I’d use any stupid tactic not to have to go back to my room and jack off like a teenager.
“Kiss it,” I told her as I tangled my fingers in her dark hair. I didn’t know if I’d ever said such dumb shit in all my life, but I rolled with it because she started licking her lips, looking like she wanted to devour my cock. “It’ll be our final sin.”
Her father was old-school, a little conservative despite the bullshit criminal empire that made him rich. According to Mr. Carelli, we weren’t really married because we hadn’t said our vows before God. We’d been living in sin in his eyes, and we were going to hell unless we made things right with the church. Wonder what he’d think about the way his son made things right with the church, or at least, the priest who called Johnny a worthless Catholic.
Cara wrapped her hand around the shaft and squeezed. My body quaked uncontrollably like she’d never touched me before, and I held my breath as she leaned forward, waiting for the moment her warm, soft lips closed around me. The air thickened in just those few seconds, the anticipation getting me high, and then Cara peered up at me, her brown eyes blazing, and a small smirk played on her lips. My fingers tightened, urging her forward, but she had other plans.
“You want me to put it in my mouth?” she asked, toying with me like only Cara could. “What are you going to give me?” She raised an eyebrow, stroking my cock faster and torturing me.
“All the orgasms,” I told her, completely full of myself because of the drinks, but sex was the one thing I’d always gotten right. I could make Cara fucking come like no one else. It was probably the only reason she never went through with the divorce. I’d ruined her. She knew it. I knew it. And no one else would do her the way I did.
“You know all the right things to say to me, Kiel.” She smiled, sticking her tongue out and barely brushing the tip before quickly vanishing as she stared up at me.
I shivered, and my hips lurched forward, begging for more as my cock pushed against her lips. “Baby, stop playing,” I mumbled, barely getting the words out from the wicked spinning that was happening in my head.
“Better not fucking pass out on me,” she hissed as she tightened her grip, yanking me forward by my cock and wrapping her sweet lips around the tip.
I moved forward, giving her access to every inch of my needy, rock-hard cock. “Wide awake now.”
Cara stroked my shaft with her hand in tandem with her mouth working my dick like she was made to do nothing else. Each time taking my dick a little deeper and sending me a lot closer to orgasm. Shit, it felt too good, but I didn’t want to come too quick. I wanted to savor the moment, relish the feel of her soft, warm mouth circling and sucking every inch of me. She moaned, sending pleasure through my entire system.
“Fuck,” I growled and rocked with her movement, unable to stop myself from enjoying the pleasure only her mouth could deliver. But this wasn’t what I’d come here for. I didn’t want a quick blow job the night before we said I do. Again. I wanted to be inside my wife. Possess her. Own her. Remind her who she’d always belonged to, so she never forgot. “Enough.” I gently pulled back on her hair, easing her down my dick until her lips popped off.
She gazed up at me, her mouth in a perfect O, and blinked. “Why? I was enjoying myself.”
Damn it. Cara loved to suck cock, and being a man, I loved how and when she did it.
I slid my hand down her face, cupping her chin in my palm and rubbing the pad of my thumb near her lips. “Bella, I need to be inside you.” She smiled as I pushed her backward onto the bed and crawled on top of her. She wiggled, sighing when my heavy weight hit her, and I nipped her lips, growling at the sensation of our skin sliding together. Then I pushed her legs apart with one knee, settling in for what I expected would be a very long and slow fuck. “Tell me you love me,” I said as I reached between us, running my fingers through her wetness.
“I-I…” she stuttered, convulsing as my fingers glided over her clit, “love you.”
“Tell me you want me.” I slid my fingers down, pressing them against her opening, waiting to hear the words I wanted and needed so badly. I knew Cara loved me. I knew she wanted me, but there was something about hearing her moments of vulnerability that made me even harder. She was always so tough and barely let her guard down.
She didn’t speak, just stared up at me, gasping for air as I slipped one finger inside, teasing her butt also. Our eyes locked, something passing between us that I could feel in my bones. Words lost in time, left unsaid during the years we’d spent apart. Her fingernails dug into my shoulders as she gripped me so hard, as though I might disappear if she didn’t tether herself to me.
“Tell me,” I said, teasing her with a second finger.
“I want you.” Her voice was breathless and needy when she finally spoke. “I’ve always wanted you.”
I rewarded her admission by curling the two fingers up, stroking her G-spot with each swipe. She gasped, rocking her hips in rhythm with my hand. I knew what I wanted her to say next. Something that wouldn’t slide off her tongue quite so easy. “Tell me you need me.”
Her grip on my shoulder tightened as she held on to me, her eyes almost glaring.
“Say it,” I demanded as I stopped my thrusts, waiting for her to finally admit the thing she hated the most. Needing someone was a weakness in her book, and Cara Kaino never wanted to appear weak, not even to me.
I leaned down, bringing my lips so close to hers as my thumb brushed against the side of her clit. Her pussy convulsed against my stilled fingers, sucking me deeper and silently begging for me to move again. “Kiel,” she begged. “Please.”
“Just say the words. I promise your world won’t end.” I smirked against her lips and circled around her clit but never made full contact.
“I…” She lifted her bottom off the bed, pushing her pussy against my hand. But her frustration leveled up when she didn’t get close enough, and my beautiful wife grunted when I didn’t budge, not giving in to her silent pleas for more. “I need you. Happy now?”
Three words that hit me deep. She’d given me what I wanted, and I didn’t hesitate to slide my fingers out and push my cock deep inside her. Our bodies fit together like they were made in one mold. Her soft legs wrapped around my middle, holding my body to hers and my cock deep. “You’re mine forever, Cara,” I told her, and there was no hesitation in my words. “I own every inch of you.”
She nodded, unable to speak as I thrust so deep, I almost lost my own breath. I slipped my hand under her ass, tilting her bottom so I didn’t miss an inch of her lushness, and I cradled the back of her head in my other hand, holding her as close as possible. “I love only you,” I told her, slowly rocking into her, making sure my stare was still locked right on to hers. “I’ve always only loved you, Cara.”
She licked her lips, fingernails firmly planted, ankles locked. “I own every inch of you too, husband,” she said, and there was nothing about that statement that wasn’t true. “I want this forever.”
“You have me for an eternity,” I said, brushing my lips against hers as I moved my hips qu
ickly, rocking us both closer and closer to oblivion.
“It’ll never be enough,” she whispered.
Epilogue
Kiel
One Year Later
Cara didn’t like whales. For someone whose ancestry was rooted in the lush culture of Capri and the beautiful coastal living that city enjoyed, my wife didn’t have much love for the water at all. Which made the move back to Seattle a little odd.
“Porca miseria, Kiel, what the hell is in this?” she fussed, her arms full of a box marked JUNK KIEL DOESN’T NEED.
That stung a little. I pulled the box from her arms before she could tear into it. It was stuff that wasn’t important, but it was still my stuff, and I couldn’t let go of it. Most of it was relics from high school, my old class ring and yearbooks, possibly a garter Melissa Dix had worn at junior prom—I’d kept it on my rearview mirror like a real douchebag for six months after I’d finished high school. There were also letters in that box, stacks of them that I’d written to Cara after I’d come back home, after she’d had Johnny throttle me like I’d stolen something and didn’t know where I’d put it.
“Why won’t you let me see?” she asked, growling when I held the box over her head. The round curve of her stomach peeked out from her oversize shirt, and I forgot all about the box and Melissa Dix and the stupid things I’d written Cara when I was so sick over her and hurt that writing it all down was the only way I got through most days.
Hmm. Maybe I should give Dale a heads-up about writing that shit down. It might get that asshole out of the stupid-shit habit he’d been in since Gin left for Portland.
“It’s nothing, Little Goddess. Just stuff that used to mean something to me.”
“Oh,” she said, stepping back to cross her arms over her ever-growing chest. “So, old girlfriend crap?”
I shrugged, more interested in that belly and the size of her already ample tits. She tried pushing me away from her as I dropped the box and curled my hands around her hips, my mouth already heading for her cleavage. But Cara gave up the fight, making a sweet sound that had my cock twitching. “I like it when you make that sound,” I admitted, pulling her onto my lap as I flopped to the floor.
“Stop…don’t!” The fussing wasn’t real. There was too much laughter, a bit too much moaning in her words, and Cara gave up, letting me kiss her stomach when I pushed her shirt up. “Don’t mess with my fat belly.”
“I made this belly, Goddess. If I wanna mess with it, I will.” She groaned, pushing on my shoulder before she fanned her fingers through my hair. “You’re wasting time. Your brother and Kit will be here to help us unpack.”
“So?” I said, pushing the shirt up to get at those full breasts.
“So, you don’t want them to walk in on us being all coupley while we’re supposed to be unpacking our new house, do you?”
“Please,” I admitted. “Do you know how many times I’ve showed up at their place and had to listen to repeated and endless moans of ‘Oh yeah, baby. Squeeze me, harder!’ and worst of all, ‘Fuck, Kit, you’re so tight.’ It’s embarrassing.”
“Exactly my point,” Cara said, shoving me off her as she came to her knees. She grabbed the box I’d thrown to the floor and opened the top, shooting glances my way as though she wanted to make sure there wouldn’t be retribution, the hot kind, if she opened it.
“If you must,” I told her, leaning back on one elbow.
She took out the ring, tilting her head like it was sweet, seeing that dirty gold ring with the stock figure of a football player and the school crest in the center. Cara slipped the class ring onto her thumb and continued to pilfer through my pointless shit.
“Ah. Old girlfriend?” she asked, twirling the garter on a finger. The elastic band was frayed, and the dark maroon ribbon threaded between the lace had dulled in the sun coming from my windshield and was now bright pink.
“No, junior prom date. She wasn’t a girlfriend.”
“Then why’d you keep this?”
“Because,” I told her, reaching for the nasty thing to take it out of her hand. “Teenage boys think shit that remotely implies you got laid is the coolest shit ever.”
“So you didn’t fuck her?” She nodded to the forgotten garter I’d tossed near the stack of crumpled newspaper and flattened boxes. “Miss Junior Prom?”
“Oh no, I totally fucked her. My first.”
Cara wrinkled her nose, muttering something low and offensive in Italian before she went back through the box, and I said a little prayer, grateful I’d convinced her to move back to Seattle to raise our baby. New York was a fine city, but it wasn’t home, and God knew there were too many criminals flitting in and out of her father’s home, even through the museum, to keep my mind clear of worry over her and the baby.
I shook away the thought of the life we could have had in New York and just watched her. God, she was beautiful. Her skin glowed, actually glowed, and I wondered if it was supposed to be that way. Did all pregnant women look that luminous? That beautiful? Was it hormones, or was it just sheer happiness that lit them up from the inside?
“What…” She pulled out the stack of letters, frowning, holding them in her lap so she could flip through them. They were labeled with her name but not addressed. “What is this?” she asked, holding up the thickest letter among the stack. “My name is on all of these.”
“It is,” I said, slipping closer to her. I fingered the corner of one yellowed envelope, then leaned back on my palms, watching my wife as she kept that frown hardened the more she fanned through the envelopes.
“When did you write them?”
It was embarrassing to admit, but there weren’t any secrets between us. You didn’t fall in love with a mafia princess and get away with keeping secrets. There were things I knew about her family, her father, thanks to the long conversations we’d had working on his anonymous real-crime biography, that would scare the most violent of thugs straight. Cara knew as much as I did. I knew the things she’d sworn she’d never tell a soul. This would be no different.
“When I got back to Seattle.” I shrugged, not bothered by her surprise. “If you want to read them, you can. But I gotta warn you, there’s a lot of anger and hurt in those letters. I hated you for a long fucking time.”
Cara’s face fell as she watched me, and the grip she held on the letters loosened the longer she stared, blinking, likely recalling everything we’d said and done and wanted for our lives before she got scared and I got stupid.
“I…I don’t think I wanna read about how much you hated me.” She closed her eyes, dropping the letters as she rubbed her face. “I’m sorry I…”
“Baby,” I said, stopping the apology before she could finish it. “I got shot at for you. I beat some asshole bloody for you, so did my brother and Dale. Hell, I married you twice and have spent hundreds of hours listening to your father talk about the shady shit he’s done in his life.” I pulled her close, draping one of her muscular legs over my thigh. “Monumental things, remember? Every one is for you.”
“Kiel,” she whispered, pulling my face close to take my lips. Her mouth was firm, and the seductive graze of her skin on mine made my chest constrict. Cara never failed to seep down inside me and squeeze my heart—in the best possible way. When she pulled back, soft fingers still against my face, my wife exhaled, giving her head a small shake. I didn’t know what she thought or what she wanted, but there was something sweet, something determined, glinting in her eyes.
“Monumental,” she repeated, running her thumbs over my cheeks. “This is it, isn’t it?”
“What?” I asked, holding her hand in place when she tried to move it away.
“Our forever.” She motioned around the room and to the small swell of her growing stomach. “You, me, and him. Is this it?”
“Yeah,” I told Cara, pulling her close. “This is the forever we’re making. It started a long time ago.”
“When you came back to me?” she asked, leaning against my ches
t. She played with the loosening collar of my T-shirt, and her warm breath flirted against my neck.
“No, baby,” I said, kissing her forehead. “Forever started the first day I saw you.” It had been in her modest office with the chestnut desk. There’d been a small mug of espresso in the center of that desk and nothing else. “You didn’t stand when I walked into the room, but you smiled at me, and that was enough.”
Cara sat up, watching me, her eyebrows pushed together and a faint line working between her eyes. “Enough for what?”
Head shaking, I brushed back the damp hair from her forehead and spent a few long seconds kissing her lips, never wanting it to end. “You. Me, Goddess,” I said, smiling at my beautiful wife for the monumental things we’d done and the greater one we were working toward. “You and me and forever.”
Prologue
Gin
One year ago
Love doesn’t come easy when you aren’t real sure what it’s supposed to look like.
It didn’t look familiar at any time in my life. That happens when you’ve been set aside and tossed away by the people who made you.
But sometimes, the family you’re landed with isn’t the family of your heart. They aren’t who holds you up. They aren’t who has your back and makes sure nothing or no one keeps you down.
My family came to me in a dirty redneck bar on the outskirts of Seattle.
It was the first time I laid eyes on Dale Hunter.
Just happened to be in the middle of a bar fight.
He wasn’t helping. Wasn’t his fight. But he stood there, watching me. A grin moving the right corner of his mouth like he couldn’t believe a long-legged thing like me knew how to handle loud rednecks who had no upbringing and lousy manners.
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