by Sarah Taylor
Softly, I brush a finger over her paint streaked cheek. “I don’t tell you about boys because they don’t matter. The only thing that matters is us. Right?”
Charlie’s smile fades slightly, but she nods. She lifts one hand and presses it over the top of my own, her sweet little fingers lacing with mine.
I smile at her and kiss her forehead so she won’t see the faint glimmer of tears in the corners of my eyes.
This is what I’ve sacrificed everything for.
I have to believe I’ve made the right choice.
Chapter 7
Jaxon
Sunday shifts are always the easiest, which means they’re the ones I'm forced to work.
While the rest of the police force gets to relax either at the station or at home with their families, I drift up and down completely quiet roads while trying not to lose my mind from boredom.
It’s a lovely, beautiful day. The sun is shining, and there isn’t a cloud in sight. The sky is so blue that it reminds me of Emma’s eyes, though I'm doing my best not to think about her. That doesn’t stop my mind from perpetually drifting back in her direction.
I grip my steering wheel a little tighter and narrow my eyes on the road gliding beneath my cop cruiser.
Thinking about Emma is nothing short of torture. She’s the perfect woman, and I can’t have her.
I groan, wishing that work would occupy me more.
I'm itching for something, anything, to do.
Back home, when Carl and I were forced to work these shifts, it was never boring because we could entertain one another. Here, I don’t even have a partner yet. There’s no one for me to confide in or open up to.
It’s lonely, not that I would admit that to anyone. Even if I wanted to, who would listen?
“Hey, newbie,” Wolf’s deep voice crackles on the radio transceiver. “Having fun out there?”
I pick up the radio eagerly to respond to him. Simultaneously, I pull over onto the side of the road so I can focus on whatever message he’s got for me.
“What’s up, Wolf? Something going down?”
“Yup,” Wolf answers lightly. “You’re the only one on the road right now so you’ll have to respond.”
I grin at myself in the rearview mirror, anticipation prickling through me. “Give me the details! Where am I going?”
This is just what I need to clear my head and stop thinking about the woman who got away.
“Don’t get too amped up, champ. We just got a call from a domestic residence. I can’t tell you more than that. We didn't get many details from the caller, but it should be pretty simple. Call for backup if it seems off. Got it?”
“Definitely,” I answer keenly. “I’ll be there in a flash.”
“I bet you will,” Wolf chuckles.
Tossing aside the radio, I flick on the car’s siren, my heart soaring to their melodic song. That sound might grate on others’ ears, but I live for it.
Still grinning from ear to ear, I soar to the address Wolf sent me.
The street is still and quiet as I pull up to the side of the road. A woman is watering daisies in her garden across the street and another person is walking their dog. The dog’s ears prick toward my vehicle, and he sniffs the air.
Though I’d been eager to take this call, my excitement quickly wanes as I step onto the sidewalk.
A few birds are nesting in the tree in the home’s front yard and are gazing curiously down at me. There’s not a single hint of any commotion at all. In fact, the house looks downright tranquil, and none of the neighbors are concerned whatsoever. The home itself is cute and small. It’s two stories tall and painted a sunny yellow. In one of the upstairs windows, the blinds rustle.
At least someone is home. I sigh and walk forward to knock on the door.
A moment later, the door swings open.
“Hello,” I mutter, trying not to sound too irritated at being called out here for no reason. It was probably some kid playing a prank. “I'm here to check on a 911 call that was—”
I suck in a shocked breath as I abruptly realize just who’s standing in front of me.
The blond woman in the doorway stares at me with blank, stunned blue eyes. She blinks hard as if she’s sure she’s hallucinating, and her jaw slowly drops toward the sidewalk.
What the hell?
Running into her at the hospital had been a coincidence, sure, but this feels more like...like fate?
“Hi, mister!” an excited, young voice shrieks. A tiny head pops out from behind Emma. Though Emma is fair and blue-eyed, the little girl has slightly darker skin and darker features. When she grins, however, her expression is the spitting image of Emma’s. “My name is Charlie. Do you know a cop named Jaxon? I want him to come play!”
“Charlie...” I echo, still trying to process what was happening. Wait, this is Charlie? And she’s looking for me?
“Jaxon,” Emma says, gasping for air as though she’d been underwater for the last five minutes. “You need to go—”
“This is Jaxon!” Charlie squeals. “Come inside and play with us!”
Emma grits her teeth and frowns down at Charlie.
“Give Jaxon and me one second,” Emma insists, gently pushing Charlie back inside.
She thrusts a hand against my shoulder, pushing me back and slamming the door closed. I just stare at her, noting the neighbors that are now curiously watching the two of us talk.
“What the hell are you thinking, showing up here?” Emma cries before inhaling sharply through her nose and reminding herself to be quiet. “Are you stalking me or something, Jaxon?”
Offended, I fold my arms over my chest.
“Hey now, I didn't just pop by, Emma. I didn't know this was your address! It was probably your kid that called us up!”
“My kid?” Emma echoes before shaking her head.
She drags her hands through her hair, her shoulders slumping faintly. Every inch of me wants to reach forward and delicately tip her chin back up so that I can gaze back into her eyes.
When she finally looks at me, her eyes are churning with pain.
“Charlie isn’t my daughter, Jaxon. She’s my sister. Half-sister. I'm her guardian...and she’s exactly the reason why you can’t be here... Why you can’t be anywhere near me.”
Chapter 8
Emma
Before I can shove Jaxon back towards his cop car, the front door swings open again. I should have known Charlie wasn’t going to just sit patiently inside.
I whip towards her and cross my arms over my chest. “What’s this about you calling the police, Charlie? You can’t just call 911 for no reason! It’s against the law, and it stops the policemen from doing their jobs.”
Charlie’s eyes widen, and she looks at me with a stricken expression. “Are you here to arrest me?” she gasps.
Jaxon chuckles and shakes his head. He steps toward her, bending down so that he’s eye level with her.
“Not this time, little lady. But Emma is right that you can’t call 911 unless you really, really need help. Okay?”
Just like that, Charlie brightens back up. She bounces up on the balls of her feet and clasps her hands in front of her chest.
“Let Jaxon come in!” my little sister pleads. “I have to write a paper on a police officer for school anyway, and I want to ask him some questions.”
“I'm sure he has something more important to do...” I answer, biting my lip.
When I glance back at Jaxon, however, he’s simply smirking. Dammit. I probably shouldn’t have accused him of stalking me.
“Actually, I have some time to spare,” he responds with a wink.
Charlotte squeals happily and grabs his hand, dragging him over the threshold into our cozy little house.
I give him just one warning look and then follow him inside. The pair sit down at the dining room table while I linger on the perimeter of the room. If I sat down next to him, I'm not sure I would be able to keep my hands to myself, and I desperately n
eed to do just that for Charlie. I'm supposed to be setting a good example for her, not batting my eyes at a handsome man I want to drag up to my bedroom.
“Emma, didn't you say you were going to make hot chocolate?” Charlie presses. She points toward the kitchen where I’d already gotten out two mugs and a big container of whipped cream. “Do we have enough for Jaxon too?”
“I don’t need anything,” Jaxon interjects, but I sigh and force a smile.
I can’t exactly be too angry with him. Charlie was the one who called, and now he’s staying to help her out instead of kicking up a fuss about it. I don’t know why Charlie would have gone to this length to find a guy I’d only mentioned offhandedly once. She didn’t typically act out like this.
“Don’t worry about it,” I murmur. “Three cups of cocoa coming up.”
I head into the kitchen, listening to their voices.
“How did you know you wanted to be a cop?” Charlie asks as her pencil scrapes against her papers.
Jaxon chuckles faintly, the sound thick with nostalgia. “When I was about your age, I got to go for a ride in a cop car with my best friend. From that moment on, he and I knew exactly what we wanted to be.”
“Wow!” giggles Charlie. “So, he’s a policeman too?”
A moment of strained silence follows as I stir warm milk and dissolve it with the chocolate powder.
“Uh...” he stumbles. His chair creaks as he shifts uncomfortably. “No. Not anymore. Carl... He’s not with us now.”
“You don’t have to say it,” Charlie suddenly murmurs. “Is he dead, Jaxon? So is my dad. Adults always get that weird expression when they’re trying to figure out how to tell kids my age that someone is dead.”
I bolt for the room, eager to interrupt this conversation, and when I do, I'm shocked to see Jaxon leaning down toward Charlie and smiling at her, even though both of their eyes are sad.
“You know what that means though, right?” he says gently. “If your dad is in Heaven, that means you have a guardian angel looking out for you now. Carl is looking out for me too.”
“My guardian angel brought me to Emma!” Charlie agrees with a giggle. “When my mom didn't want me anymore, Emma took me in!”
I all but drop the mugs I'm holding and Jaxon rushes over to help me. He sets them down at the table, and this time, I join them.
“Charlie,” I whisper in a taut, uncomfortable voice. “I think you’ve asked Jaxon enough questions. Say goodbye so that he can get back to work and then take your cocoa to your room.”
I don’t like talking about that time in our lives. I don’t like Charlie thinking about it either.
“But he just got here!” the little girl cries.
As hard as it is for me to be stern with her, I point toward the stairs. She pouts, not even taking her hot chocolate as she pushes back from the table.
“Thank you, Mr. Jaxon...” she sighs.
“Just Jaxon,” he corrects her with a wink.
A faint smile crosses her face before she turns and scampers back up the nearby stairs.
When Charlotte is gone, Jaxon turns back towards me.
“That’s amazing, you know,” he whispers, “that you took in your sister.”
He towers over me, his shoulders broad and his eyes warm pools of silver. The afternoon sun pours in from the nearby window and dances across his dark hair. Heat pools within me...but it’s not just lust that sparks in my veins. Seeing Jaxon and Charlie interact fills my heart with such an intense bittersweet ache that I can’t even think straight. It takes a special kind of man to interact with a child as sincerely as he did.
“I did what I had to,” I shrug. I already hate myself for the words that I know I have to say next. My fingers curl into tight fists. “My dad married her mother when I was younger, and they had Charlie a year before he passed. When her mom remarried, she didn't want Charlie anymore. Something about wanting to start fresh.” I shudder and grit my jaw. “I took her in. I don’t know if she even really remembers life before it was just the two of us.”
His soft hand brushes my arm, and I can’t help but lean toward him. For a moment, I bask in the familiar warmth of his body. When my heart skips a beat, I almost want to cry. This is the first time I’ve felt so close to a man...and I can’t have him.
“You are incredible, Emma,” he continues quietly. “I'm just...I'm in awe of you.”
I jerk away from him, lifting my chin. “Now you understand why I told you that you can’t stay. Charlie can’t get attached to someone who’s going to leave. You can’t be a part of her life...or of mine.”
Jaxon steps closer, his lips parting, but I shake my head hard.
“You have to go,” I beg, voice breaking. Every fiber of my being is begging for me to take back my plea. “Please. Go. Before I can’t say no.”
“Emma...” he whispers. He exhales and steps toward me again. I gaze up at him, whole body shaking from head to toe. He leans toward me, resting his forehead on mine. My fingers curl against his shirt and drag him toward me. I lean up onto my tiptoes and capture his mouth with mine.
I kiss him desperately until my lungs scream for air and my lips are swollen. He embraces me tightly, his fingertips digging into my back and running through my hair.
“Go!” I beg, pulling away from him as tears began to stream down my cheeks.
He steps back slowly, taking one step and then another as though he has to force his body every inch of the way. Finally, he disappears out the door, and his car peals away from the curb.
I sink to my knees, face buried in my hands.
I’d always thought it would be so easy to just turn off my heart, but Jaxon has awakened it... And now, I might never be the same.
Chapter 9
Jaxon
A few weeks have passed since I last saw Emma.
I haven’t been able to forget the way she looked at me or how desperately she’d begged me to leave. I could tell she didn't want me to go... but that she needed me to. As much as I want to be there for her, she has to sort that out for herself. I understand where she’s coming from. I know that Charlie has to be her priority, and she’s doing the best that she knows how. That hasn’t made it easier to let go, however.
I still want her more than anything.
Every day, the first thing that crosses my mind when I wake up is how she and Charlie are doing. When I lie in bed to sleep at night, those same thoughts persist.
That one-night fling to let off steam has turned into something so much more, but what can I do about it if Emma wants nothing to do with me?
“You okay, Jaxon?” Liv asks. She sets down a cup of coffee on the counter of her flower shop where I'm sitting.
I’d come by on my lunch break to see my sister and try to clear my head, but even the pretty yellow blooms on the windowsill remind me of Emma’s home.
I nod and sip from the bitter brew, glancing around at the delicate flowers my sister has been arranging. She’s gotten much more talented since moving out here.
“Yeah. I was just thinking about someone— I mean something,” I stammer, flushing.
Liv’s bright eyes widen. “Is it a girl!” she cries, clapping her hands to her cheeks. “Who is it? You’ve got to tell me, Jaxon! I feel like you and I haven’t really had a chance to catch up yet. I'm out of the loop of your life!”
I gulp and contemplate lying to Liv, but there isn’t a point. She’s always had a way of dragging details out of me whether I like it or not.
“She’s...erm... She’s kind of your doctor, Liv. It’s Emma that’s on my mind. She and I, uh, bumped into one another recently and...” I trail off helplessly.
One eyebrow arching, Liv smirks. “...Bumped into one another?” she muses. “Sure, big bro. Whatever you say. Anyway, if you’re so hung up on her, why haven’t you brought her around?”
I drag a hand through my hair and groan, “To put it simply, Emma wants nothing to do with me.”
Liv laughs and shakes her he
ad. “Well, you haven’t exactly been on your best behavior lately.”
“Hey!” I object, offended. “I’ve cleaned up my act since moving here. I’ve hardly gone out, and I haven’t been seeing any other ladies.”
Liv nods. “Well, that’s good... But, listen, Jaxon. I know losing Carl was hard on you too. Loss leaves a mark on everyone’s heart. You thought living wild and free and taking risks was your way of memorializing him and remembering that life is short... But did you ever stop to think that maybe you were headed in the wrong direction? Life is short, that’s true, but you don’t have to take every risk just to make the most out of it. Maybe there’s one risk in particular that you’re avoiding.”
“Like what?” I mutter. My arms fold stubbornly over my chest.
Liv shifts her feet uncomfortably and then shrugs.
“I'm no life coach, you know? I'm just a woman who lost someone dear to her and had to pick up the pieces. But because of that, I know how terrifying it can be to open yourself up to new people. Carl was your best friend. You haven’t let anyone get close since. Not Emma, and not any of my friends either.”
My shoulder slump slightly. I want to argue with Liv, but it turns out my little sister has gotten a little wiser since moving out on her own. She leans over and gently touches my shoulder.
“Come out tonight with me and Brady. We’re going over to Lucy and Cooper’s for a little party. It’ll be fun, and they’re dying to get to know you a little better.”
She’s right that I’ve been isolating myself here. When I saw how little she needed me, I closed myself off almost entirely. Maybe it’s time I make an effort to make some new friends.
“I will,” I promise her, just as my radio suddenly buzzes.
“Rookie,” crackles Wolf’s voice. “We just got another call from that residence you visited a few weeks back. They didn't talk, they just hung up, so we figure it’s the kid again. Go sort that out, will ya?”
I stand up, sucking in a shallow breath. This is my chance, maybe my last chance, to take the biggest risk of all. I'm going to tell Emma how much I care about her, and how much I want to be in her and Charlie’s life. Life is too short not to play your cards when you can. What she does with that information is all up to her.
