He has to continue; he has to finish what he’s started. As hard as I try to lighten his burden, he won’t let me. Instead, he chooses to let despair wash over him, consuming all he is as he shuts out my attempts.
“Don’t come after me. Don’t call me. I’m just…”
Liam’s mouth opens to speak, but he closes it, unable to make the words come out.
“Done,” Rachel says with a final punctuation. Without another word, she walks out of the door and out of his life.
“Good riddance,” I say, lowering my eyebrows and nodding my head for effect.
It’s like watching one of those human television shows with all the drama. Scope operas?
Whatever.
Either way, I’m thrilled he’ll be able to finally move on. Maybe he’ll struggle enough to get on the right path and find the right woman. My chest clenches, and an ache erupts in my gut. As much as I want Liam to be happy, it’s also been safe having him in all the wrong relationships. It gives me something to root for—his happiness and his underdog capabilities when it comes to the opposite sex. All while never really having to resign myself to the fact it will never be me he’s having a sweaty entanglement with.
The thought sparks through my body’s energetic points like a lightning bolt, making me squirm. I’ve often wondered what that was like—what it would feel like to be so intertwined. I drop my hand from his back, unable to handle the contact even though neither of us can truly feel it.
The moment my contact has diminished, Liam turns around and punches the wall. His fist goes clear through the drywall and into the bowels beyond. I look toward the ceiling and shake my head. The male human is so volatile, especially around heightened emotions. It’s either fight, flight, or fuck—as foul as that word is, it’s true. Liam is no exception to this rule, but at least his heart is genuine, despite the pain clouding it.
Taking a step back, I run my fingertips over my clavicle and down the center of my chest. Our bodies—angels and humans—are not dissimilar. If we existed on the same plane you wouldn’t be able to tell us apart, and yet we cannot connect.
Some say we were once humans who ascended—but not all of us were. For as long as I’ve been cognizant, I have always been a Guardian. And here I am, wishing I had once had the opportunity to know what skin-on-skin contact feels like. The irony has not been lost on me.
Only coupled Guardians know the sensation, but they are rare. Most of us simply don’t have the same…drives. We’re not human, after all. Even those of us who once were.
Yet, here I am…an anomaly. I want to feel him—really feel him—more than all of existence, but if anyone found out...
I shudder at the thought.
Images of being sent to Purgatory—the “in-between” of all things—flash through my mind. No human or angel wants to be sent there. It’s where demons roam free and lost souls go to die as they become wraiths—ghoulish shadows of their former selves. It’s the last place a being of the light wants to be banished to.
Liam pulls his hand back from the depths of the wall, and blood is speckled across his knuckles. He doesn’t seem to mind or care, his emotions having dived deep into still waters after his outburst.
For a moment, I tune in, sensing the stillness of his thoughts and wondering what will come next. He’s in a deep, dark hole of nothing, and it worries me. He doesn’t typically bury things so fast.
Taking a deep breath through his nose, he scrunches his shoulders toward his ears, then lets them relax. His jaw clenches, unclenches, and he nods to himself. “Just any other Tuesday, Liam,” he whispers.
Reaching for the handle to the door, he flings it back, and I can’t help but worry about his next actions. Yet, as it turns out, my fears are unfounded as he simply walks outside and takes a seat on the front steps of the large wraparound porch.
The sun is setting across the expansive front yard, and he stares absently at it for a moment. The internal stillness continues, so I sit down beside him, placing my hand along the space between his shoulder blades.
A few moments pass, and he begins to flicker to life. Emotions start rolling through him in waves as he places his elbows on his knees and drops his head to his hands. Even though no one else is anywhere close to see or sense them, I feel his tears on his cheeks and the cracking of his heart as if it were all happening to me. Reaching up, I entwine my fingertips through his dark tufts of wavy hair, wishing he knew how much he’s truly loved.
To him, my touch would feel like nothing more than the breeze tousling his locks, but to me, it’s a magical energy that ignites the ends of my fingers and lights up the pleasure centers of my body and brain. I imagine what it would really feel like, and it’s both terrifying and exhilarating. Shuddering away the excitement, I pull my hand back to my chest, holding it with the other.
“What am I going to do?” I whisper to myself, exhaling slowly.
If the Guild finds out I am in love with…
I can’t bring myself to even think the final word, but I cast my gaze over his broad shoulders, wishing I could be the one to take away his burden. Not in the Guardian sense, but in every other. But it can never be anything more, and I need to get that through my stupid, sick head.
For a few minutes, we sit side-by-side. My hand rises and falls with his quiet pain, and I do my best to send loving, healing vibes his way. When his tears are spent, he wipes at his cheek and inhales sharply.
“I’m so done with this,” he says.
“Good, that’s good. Go with that, Liam. You have so much more to offer this world. You just need to find who you are first,” I whisper, wishing he could hear my words.
His gaze narrows, and he shakes his head. “Please, please God—ah, hell, why not bring everything into it—any Gods, Goddesses—Guides and Guardians—all the angels out there, too… if you can hear this, I’ll do whatever you want. Please just take this pain away,” he whispers, dropping his head to his chest. “I’m done, so done with all of this. Why can’t I just make this shit work? What am I missing? I need some damn direction.”
My heart skips a beat at his plea.
He spoke to me…
Well, okay, maybe not me directly, but according to our laws, it’s enough. I can do as I see fit to ease his suffering.
Bending into his ear, I whisper, “I wish you all the love in the world, Liam. But first, you must learn to know thyself.”
Sitting up a bit straighter, his eyes widen. Quietly, he repeats the mantra from the Oracle at Delphi.
I pull my hand back, my eyes taking in every movement, every breath he takes. He’s more receptive than I thought. Perhaps he’ll be open to more…
“You deserve everything you dream of, Liam. Your heart is so pure and beautiful. You deserve so much better than what you’ve been settling for. One day very soon, you’ll see your self-worth and let go of all of the baggage you’ve been holding onto,” I say, smiling in his direction. “You are so loved. I wish you knew how much.”
Holding very still, his eyebrows tug downward and his breath hitches.
“Who—is someone there?” he says, looking around.
My pulse races, and I scramble backward from the step. “Can you hear me?” I begin, unable to contain my surprise.
He turns his head in my direction, but his eyes search the space in front of him without landing on me. Disappointment rolls through my being, but I shake it off.
He heard me—actually heard me again. I don’t know how long this will last or when the opportunity will vanish. Racing back to his side, I bend down in front of him.
“Liam—if you can hear me—please trust yourself. Trust in your abilities to live and love. Stop searching for women who make you work for their affection. We talked about this on end when you were a boy. The women in your life should give their love to you freely the way I…”
I stop myself just shy of saying it and place my hands over my mouth.
“Who—? Where are you?” he says, his hazel ey
es flashing the depths of green like I’ve never seen. “Oh my god, I must be losing my damn mind.”
I shake my head feverishly. “No—no, I’m here. Please, please just listen to me. You deserve so much more than you give yourself credit for. Your mother, she—”
Liam scrambles to a stand, groping at the sides of his head.
“My mother?” he sputters.
I stand alongside him, reaching my hands out and placing them over his. Instantly, he pulls his hands down and stares at them in surprise.
“Could you feel me?” I say, shock and excitement coiling through my insides.
“I—” he blinks rapidly, his forehead creasing at the place where his eyebrows meet his nose. “I need to go back to bed. I’m clearly delusional—”
“Liam Henry Mattson, I need you to know I’m here. You’re not going insane,” I say, clenching my teeth.
“Who are you?”
“It’s Evangeline,” I whisper, stepping closer. My heart races, threatening to burst out of my chest as I debate whether or not to say what I really want to say. “Do you…remember me?”
“Evangeline?” he repeats, his eyes widening in recognition.
“Yes—or Eva, if you want. You used to call me that,” I say, nodding excitedly. “I’m your Guardian, and I…” I bite my lip, struggling for the words to express everything I’ve ever wanted to tell him.
“I remember you,” he whispers. “But I thought… I thought I’d made you up.”
My eyes fall to the ground, and I sigh, “I was afraid of that.”
“But you’re real?” he presses.
“I am, and I’ve never left your side,” I utter, watching him intensely.
His face brightens, his eyes roaming the space in front of him. “Where are you? Why can’t I—?” he begins.
“It’s hard to explain, but I’m not going anywhere. I don’t know how long this will last—but I will be here with you. Even if things go back to the way they were and you can’t hear me, I need you to know I’m with you. I’ve always been with you.” I reach out again, placing my right hand along his cheek.
He leans into my hand as if sensing my touch, and I can’t help but smile. “Liam, you need to know how loved you are. Don’t let this one night ruin anything.”
“How would you know that?” He snickers. “Oh, well, I guess maybe you would…”
I laugh softly, taking a deep breath to say what I need him to hear. “I know because I love you. I always have.”
Beyond the edge of the deck, I catch the glint of glowing turquoise eyes buried in the bushes. My excitement vanishes, and every fiber of my being screams at me to protect Liam at all costs.
A demon is here—probably summoned by Liam’s earlier, unfiltered request. It’s a fallen angel, after all.
And it’s just heard everything.
Chapter 2
When Prayers Go Wrong
Instantly, I take a defensive posture, my elemental sword springing to life in my hand with magically imbued ice creeping up the blade like frost climbing a window. It calms elemental forces any demon possesses—putting them in their place when necessary. It’s by no means as powerful as the element of spirit, but that’s a power only meant for crossing over our human charges after they’ve died.
Narrowing my eyes, I can’t tell which demon lingers here, but none of them mean candy and rainbows.
“Liam,” I warn, my voice calm and steady, “quickly—go inside and do not come out until I say it’s safe.”
His eyes widen and he looks over his shoulder, trying to see the source of danger.
“Wh…what’s going on?” he asks, his voice on the edge of quivering.
“Please, go inside,” I repeat. “I’ll come for you when the danger has passed.”
Before I finish my sentence, the demon leaps from the bushes; his turquoise eyes flash in contrast with his golden locks, as his perfectly shaped lips curl into a sneer. Between his meticulously groomed appearance and stylish outfit, I don’t even have to sense the sexual energy rolling off of the demon to know instantly what he is.
An incubus.
“How touching, angel. How very touching of you to spill such…sensitive details so freely. It touched my cold, dead heart. It truly did,” he says, crossing his arms behind his back and taking another step forward. “I’m curious, does your ever-important Guild know of your affections toward this… lower being? I’m surprised they approve of such a thing. And if not… well, it would be a pity for these details to somehow make it back to them.”
I tug my brows in, clutching my sword tightly. “I wouldn’t worry about me, demon. You should be more worried about yourself,” I say, summoning the support from the building blocks of the Universe to aid me and guide my sword.
“Demon?” Liam cries, his eyes widening as he takes a step back.
The incubus chuckles menacingly, not at all surprised by Liam’s shock, or the fact he can hear me. His eyes flit from Liam back to me, and a wicked grin once again spreads across his lips. “And yet, I’m simply not shaking in my stylish Chelsea boots, dear angelic one.”
The demon edges forward slowly until he stands between the door and Liam. His stature would make it impossible for Liam to get inside without accidentally coming into contact, and that would have dire consequences. A simple touch drives humans into the servitude of the incubus, even though they have no idea what’s going on. They simply think they have a sex addiction of some sort, but in reality, they’re being fed off of until they’re no longer useful. Then they’ll simply drain the human’s life force completely until they wither and die. Then they bring them back to life and start all over again—ensuring a lifetime, and then some—of servitude.
Liam takes a step toward the door, his eyes scanning the deck around him. His fight-or-flight instincts have kicked in, and part of him is geared up for the fight. After the night he’s had, he thinks an altercation would soothe the pain inside his heart. But he has no idea what he’s dealing with, or even how to fight it.
“Not that way. Go to the back door,” I command him, teleporting myself so I stand between Liam and the incubus.
“What’s happening?” he asks, his voice rising. “Why did you say demon?”
“Evil is here, that’s all you need to know. You mustn’t hesitate,” I say, my senses homing in as I anticipate my next move.
The incubus hisses, lunging at me with otherworldly speed, clearly done with our banter.
“Go—” I yell, summoning the element of water and commanding it to encircle the blade of my sword.
Liam stumbles backward, twisting on his heel as he makes an attempt to run. He almost trips over his own feet but regains his balance and races around the side of the house.
The demon leaps forward, taking its chance at following after Liam, but I’m quicker than he is. Swiping my sword through the air, I lunge forward and make contact with the incubus’s fingertips, lobbing off his right hand’s pointer finger in the motion. Instantly, his hand crackles as the skin freezes against the blade’s energy. It makes its way up his hand, forcing it to seize up and contort his remaining fingers at odd angles.
“Dammit, angel,” he curses, groping his hand to his chest. Blood splatters on his white button-down shirt, and his face tightens. “You’ve ruined one of my favorite shirts—and do you know how long it will take for my finger to regenerate? I’ll need extra feedings now, thanks to you. Hope that weighs heavy on that Guardian conscience of yours.”
“Don’t count on it—” I say, lunging forward and jabbing my sword toward the incubus’ exposed lower abdomen. “You won’t have the opportunity—”
He jumps back, narrowly missing the tip of my sword as his body thumps against the siding of the house. His turquoise eyes flash with anger, and the power of his suggestive mind scuttles across the outside of my aura.
I laugh at the attempt. He has no influence over angelic beings, and he knows it. His only chance is with Liam—or someone else—and the
re’s no way in hell I’m letting him get that far. He will die tonight.
Raising the sword up high, I arch around, swinging it with full-force in an attempt to end the incubus by severing him in two. Instead of fleeing for his life like any sane demon would have done, the incubus climbs the wall, creeping along the ceiling of the covered porch, and landing on the other side of me. Without stopping, he runs at full bore around the house after Liam.
Teleporting again, I phase through space just as Liam enters his house and closes the back door. The incubus slams down his anchors, trying not to come into contact with me or my weapon.
“You have nowhere to go, vile thing—admit it, this game is over,” I say, widening my stance and flaring my nostrils. “You have no weapons and no one to feed on. Instead, you’re basically flaccid, and you’ve met your end.”
“Flaccid. Ouch,” The demon sighs loudly and turns around. “Well since you put it that way…” he says, flicking his gaze upward.
Without waiting for another opening, I clench my teeth and thrust my sword toward his torso. This time, he’s more prepared as he sideswipes my maneuver and leaps over the railing of the wraparound.
My jaw tightens, and I jump the railing after him.
“Come back here—”
“Yeah, because that’s totally something on my agenda. Thanks, but no thanks,” he says, puffing up his chest. “Enjoy your time with lover boy in there—I have places I need to be. Important places,” he says, emphasizing the word.
My eyes widen.
He means the Guild.
There’s no way I can allow that.
Pirouetting around his body, I phase in and out, appearing just behind him as I wrap my arm around his throat. He clutches at my forearm, screaming at the contact of my holy energy against his own demonic presence. Bending forward, he throws me up and over his back, but I land on my feet and twist around with my sword ready.
Playing With Fire Page 80
