“I’m—” I breathe, about to deny it all again, but the weight of her stare drops my defenses. “What do I do?”
She takes a step toward me and grabs hold of my hands in hers. “Love is a merciless God, dear one. It doesn’t care much for bureaucracy, and it will take as it chooses.”
I shake my head, glancing at Liam as he peers around the room. “That’s not helping.”
“You have only one good choice in this matter, but you won’t like it.”
I bite my lip and exhale. Shifting my eyes back to her, I ask, “What is it?”
“You will need to let the human go and break this forbidden bond,” she says matter-of-factly.
“What are you suggesting? I give him up as my charge? I can’t do that. I mean, that alone would set off inquiries,” I say, shaking my head.
“Then, the human will have to die.”
Chapter 4
Judgement is a Fickle Friend
“What on Earth are you talking about?” I say, my mouth gaping open. “No—that can’t be all there is. Ugh, this is all my fault. Mine alone. He doesn’t even know I love him.” Without thought, my hands fly to my lips in attempt to hold back the confession already unleashed.
A small, deliberate smile creeps across the Throne Angel’s face, and her wheeled gaze moves beyond me.
Turning around, Liam’s face is ashen. His eyebrows upturn in the center and he blinks his brown eyes wildly.
“You love me?” he whispers, searching for me in the room. “Like in the ecumenical way God loves all his children, or…?” His question lingers in the air between us, and I want desperately to reach out to him. To have the ability to hold his face in my hands and kiss his lips.
Instead, I fidget under the Throne Angel’s scrutiny. A full confession would be held in her record; there would be no escaping it. Should a trial ever be called… I swallow hard, “Liam, you’re very special…”
“Oh, right,” he nods to himself. His eyes drop to the floor, and his inner turmoil turns again to reinforcing his longstanding fear of his unlovability. A rejection from me is no different from all of the others, and if I don’t do something, I could make matters worse for him. Either way, this isn’t going to end well.
As if sensing my anxiety, the Throne Angel takes a step toward me and places a large hand on my shoulder. “It would appear it’s my time to depart. Think about what I said.”
The kindness hidden in her smile sends tendrils of relief racing down my spine, and before I have a moment to think, I wrap my arms around her. “Thank you,” I whisper in her ear. “I will.”
“Don’t thank me too soon. Heed my warning, dear one. This is not a battle you can fight with those swords of yours.” With that, she disappears from the room, and suddenly Liam and I are completely alone.
Taking a deep breath, I spin on my heel and take Liam in. His hazel eyes are distant and his lips tug downward as his mind whirls through thoughts faster than either of us can keep up with. He pulls his broad shoulders back as he exhales and takes a seat on the floor.
Beyond this tumultuous day, the beauty of the man I’ve seen all these years radiates off of him in waves. Still intact. He’s still the man who would stop traffic to save a runaway puppy or open the door for a mother carting her three children inside the grocery store. The man who helps his elderly neighbor to dialysis when her daughter is unable, which is often.
He’s the man, who when all alone, silently wishes for peace, tranquility, and above all—love.
Not money or power. Not revenge or retribution.
His life hasn’t been easy, but he is still here, fighting for the only think worth fighting for.
Love.
Biting my lower lip, I take a step toward him and set myself opposite him on the floor. Pulling my legs in, I cross them and place my hands in my lap. Inhaling deeply, my pulse races through every vein in my body, making it impossible to calm down.
“Liam,” I begin, my voice quaking, “I—I shouldn’t tell you this, but you need to know…”
He looks up, trying to locate the source of my voice, but he doesn’t say a word. Instead, his eyes offer a hint of sadness and trepidation.
Breathing in slowly, I exhale through my nose and stare at my clasped hands. “I have loved you for as long as I can remember, and not just in the ecumenical sense,” I say, swallowing hard as I look up.
Though he can’t see me, his eyes land squarely on me, and a shiver races up my spine. He licks his lower lips, drawing my attention to the one place I’d love to touch, but can’t. “I’m not sure—does that mean…?”
“In the all of you sense, yes,” I whisper. “I’ve tried not to, but I can’t seem to help it. There’s something about you that touches me at soul level. I love you more than I ever should as your Guardian.”
“And that’s bad?” he asks, his eyebrows again turning up in the middle.
“Yes,” I admit, pressing my fingertips together.
“Why?” he whispers. Anxiety blooms in his aura, and I wish more than anything I could ease it. Raising my hand, I blow gentleness toward him, and his shoulders relax slightly.
“Because it’s against our law, Liam. Guardians are here to protect and guide our humans only. We’re not meant to meddle or get involved when it’s not our place,” I say, biting my lip. “And there are explicit rules against falling in love.”
“Figures,” he says, shaking his head.
“But I can’t help it,” I say, lifting a hand and placing it alongside his cheek. He sighs contently and closes his eyes, as if he feels the touch of my skin on his.
“Do—can you feel my touch?” I ask.
He opens his eyes, “I don’t know. I just…I guess a feeling of contentment rolled through me. Was that you?”
Pulling my hand back, I say. “Perhaps. How do you feel now?”
He takes a moment, considering. “I feel normal. Kinda strange, though.”
“Strange? Strange how?”
“Like a schoolkid who just found out someone he’s never even met likes him,” he chuckles.
A smile bursts from my lips, and I laugh. “I can imagine.”
“There has to be a way we can—I don’t know—see each other?”
“Dating isn’t—”
“No, I mean, I wish, but I mean actually see each other. I wish I could see you with my own two eyes. It’s weird. I feel like I’m having a conversation all in my head and if I were,” he says, tipping his head to the side, “well, then I’ve really gone off the deep end.”
“You’re not losing your mind,” I whisper, shaking my head. “Somehow, you’ve managed to circumvent the way things typically work. You’ve always been unique in that way. It’s like somehow you’re hardwired to tune into our Guardian frequency.”
“You make it sound like it’s a radio station,” he laughs again.
“I suppose it sort of is,” I say with a grin. “It operates on a different frequency to what ordinary humans can hear. You’re not meant to even sense it.”
“Then why could I before?”
I shake my head. “Quite honestly, I have no idea.”
“And why did I go so many years without hearing you? You said you’ve been here the whole time…”
“I don’t know what changed. Maybe you outgrew your abilities?” I shrug, wishing I knew the logistics of how it all works. Yet, a niggling thought plays at the back of my mind.
He deliberately shut me out.
“Do you remember that night when I was ten and I snuck out of the house? It was like my third or fourth foster home…the one with the green shutters…” he asks, his eyes narrowing as he recalls. Instantly, I know the night and situation he’s referring to. But even if I didn’t remember, he broadcasts it crystal clear in his mind.
“That was the night you were going to run away and look for your mother,” I whisper.
“I think it was also the last time I could hear you,” he says, chewing on his lower lip.
&nb
sp; “Why do you think that was?”
“I’m not—I guess I was hoping you could tell me,” he says, scrunching his face up.
I inhale and exhale slowly. “I have a theory.”
“You do?”
I nod. “It was the first time you didn’t trust me. You didn’t listen to me that night when I told you to go back. Being a part of your mother’s life was never in your future. It would have brought you more pain. And…”
“And?” he says, sitting up straighter.
I bite the inside of my cheek, “And… I think you deliberately closed yourself off from me.”
He narrows his eyes in response.
“That doesn’t—” he begins, but his hazel irises flash with recognition. “Oh my god, I did.”
The silence that floods into the space between us is deafening.
“For some reason, your words and thoughts are very powerful. More powerful than most of my charges, in fact. Don’t get me wrong, intentions are innately potent, but with you…” I sigh. “I suppose it’s one of the reasons why I have such a connection with you. You have this special beauty and innate ability to draw me out. I don’t know why.”
Reaching out, I place my hand over his as it rests upon his knee. Again, he exhales softly.
“You’re touching me again, aren’t you?” he whispers.
My eyebrows dip in and I nod. “I am.”
He grins broadly, the green flecks in his eyes sparkling, “I knew it. It’s like—a warmth washes over me and calms my nerves. It’s happened a lot over the years. I just assumed I was getting better at balancing my emotions.”
“You have gotten much better at that. But I also can’t seem to ignore your suffering when I know I can help,” I say. “If the Guild knew how much I—” I clench my jaw and exhale.
“It’s that bad, huh? If they find out, I mean.”
“If they uncovered my affections for you… I don’t even know what they’d do. I’ve never seen a precedent for it, but they’d likely send me to Purgatory as punishment.”
“That doesn’t sound good—it’s like an in-between place, right? Not quite heaven, not quite hell.”
“Something like that,” I admit, pulling my hand back and adjusting my legs. “But you’re right—it’s not good.”
“That bad, huh?”
“Mostly, it’s a place for expelled demons, so as you can imagine, it’s not a place I’d want to go.”
“But you’re an angel. Why would they send you there?”
I swallow hard, “Lost souls of all kinds get sent there, actually. It’s the place they go to while the universe decides their fate. But many get stuck there forever because there is no clear path to redemption at that point. Besides, demons were once angelic, Liam. They have power given to them through universal grace. It was simply corrupted. If I were to go against our law—in any way, shape, or form—they’ll assume I am no different. I’ve been corrupted, and therefore not fulfilling my prime directive. The reason I exist. There really is no in-between.”
“Well, we can’t let that happen. I mean, there has to be a way we can keep you safe,” he says, his eyes again searching the space in front of him, seeking me. “I can’t lose you again. I need to understand. I want to get to know more about you.”
My heart flutters in my chest, and tears unexpectedly well in my eyes.
“I would love nothing more than all of that,” I say, my voice squeaking. “But I’m afraid if I don’t back away, if I don’t give you up to another Guardian, bad things will happen.”
“Why do you say that?” he asks urgently.
“You’ve called the beings of the universe to you—to aid you. While your protection shield is back in place, I’m afraid it’s still set things in motion. If I don’t tread lightly, I could be exposed. If that happens…” My voice trails off and my mind travels back to the Throne Angel’s words.
Then, the human will have to die.
“What is it? What are you not saying?” he asks.
“Nothing. It’s nothing you have to worry about,” I lie, trying to sound more upbeat than I feel. My insides recoil at my transgression—angels are never meant to lie—but if I can find a way to protect him, that’s still my job. It’s what I do. At least, that’s how I justify it.
Silence expands between us for a moment until Liam takes a deep breath and places his large hands over the top of his head. “It figures, you know,” he finally says.
“What does?” I ask, tilting my head to the side.
“The only love I can get is forbidden. It’s a sick joke,” he mutters. “You know, I should be more upset about Rachel. I should be brooding—or I don’t know… maybe dead, from the way you tell it. I mean, demons and all. But, instead, there’s this weird warmth spreading through me and I can’t…” he pauses, taking another deep breath. “I don’t want to let that go.”
I watch him for a moment, my heart thrumming loudly in my ears. “I don’t want to, either,” I admit.
“Then what do we do?” he whispers.
“There’s nothing we can do, Liam. As it is, one of the demons thinks he can use it—”
My eyes widen and instantly, I bolt upright, pushing to a full stand.
Liam’s eyebrows knit together. “What? Eva—?”
“Liam, I need to go. There’s something I need to do,” I say, raising my fingertips to my lips.
“Now? But I want to get to know you. I want to know what it’s like to be an angel. Have you always been an angel? Where do you come from? Where do you go when you’re not with me?” His questions tumble out at me, and I sense his fear of losing me too.
Taking a step toward him, I brush aside my own trepidation to alleviate his. Placing my hands alongside his temples, I bend forward and kiss his forehead. The energy in the motion sparks between us, sending of tendrils of pink light, even though neither of us can feel its effects.
He raises a hand and rubs the spot where my lips would have touched his skin.
“Don’t worry. I won’t be gone long,” I whisper. “When I get back, I’ll answer everything.”
“Where are you going?” he questions.
Determination creeps into every fiber of my being, and I say, “I need to track down a demon.”
Chapter 5
The Temple of Intermediaries
Without another moment of hesitation, I leave Liam’s side to chase after the incubus. I can’t let him undo all of this beauty erupting between Liam and I—and I have to find a way to circumvent the rules. If I can track down the incubus and kill him, there will be no loose ends. Unless of course the Throne Angel is asked to deliver her testimony—but she won’t be pulled in without just cause. If there’s no incubus, there’s no cause.
Appearing outside Liam’s home, I grab hold of the pieces to my elemental sword. The incubus’ energetic signature will still be splattered across the blade, I just need to follow it. I rest back on my haunches and close my eyes. I summon the strength to call forth universal magic to track the incubus by his blood. Placing my hand on the blade, droplets begin to rise, and particles of white and gold light surround it, weaving in and out of its atoms until a connection can be made. After a few moments, a faint pathway ignites.
Clenching my jaw in determination, I hold both pieces of my sword and cast them back into the aether bound to me and my arsenal of weaponry. I glance up, trying to lock onto the demon’s last-known stop. His energy signature bounces all over—crisscrossing itself in an obvious attempt at hiding his destinations. However, each of the stops gets just a hair closer to the Guild’s location.
Sighing to myself, I straighten my shoulders. “It will take more than that to throw me off, demon,” I whisper, phasing out of Liam’s reality and back into the Eighth Dimension.
Demons can’t enter the Guild without just cause, but if he’s planning on sending them a message, there’s only one place it can be done.
The Temple of the Intermediaries.
Within seconds,
I am outside the temple doors. The building is a massive structure of purple and white light, with deep shadows interplaying against white and gray stone. It all works in tandem, making it an impressive structure. The doors’ enormous size dwarfs every known creature, and inside, beyond their mass, is the only neutral space in the known universe where all creatures in all dimensions can go for sanctuary—even those stuck in Purgatory. It’s also the only place where demonic entities can pass along messages to their angelic counterparts. It acts like the glass between prisoners and their visitors in human prisons.
But more than that, the Intermediaries are the only beings capable of shifting through space and time. Without them, Guardians wouldn’t be able to help their human charges because they wouldn’t be able to walk between veils. Demons would be trapped on Earth rather than syphoned into Purgatory if they functioned outside their own directives. The threads of fate would unravel, and chaos would rule. It’s a beautiful thing, the way this universe is so delicately, but perfectly balanced.
Taking a couple of tentative steps upward, I search for signs of the incubus. Yet, none of his energy has come out this far. At least, not as of yet.
Biting my lip, I throw back my shoulders. “I guess it means I wait,” I say, taking a seat on the stone steps.
It will only be a matter of time before the demon tries to enter here. When he does, I’ll be ready. My mind drifts back to Liam and our most recent exchange. After all these years—after the struggles and watching—he can hear me again. And… he knows I love him.
How strange the way a single moment in time can change everything.
Smiling to myself, I struggle to keep my heart under control. This whole thing could go so far sideways, it’s not even funny. And yet, there’s an enormous growing part of me that doesn’t care. The reward would be worth the risk, even if we could never be together. On a soul level, his attention moves me. That alone could be enough.
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