by Cass Sellars
“How much do you want to pay?”
“I only have three hundred with me.” She apparently spoke too loudly for the Jess’s taste.
“Shh.” Jess issued an amused warning.
Jess pulled her sunglasses from her eyes and pushed them into her short hair. Skylar wanted the dresser almost as much as she wanted to stop the hair from standing up on the back of her neck at Jess’s proximity. She wanted to stop wrestling with ludicrous physical reactions to the CEO of her company. She chastised herself for thinking any such thing about the woman with the model girlfriend who had already warned her away. Jess was confident and polished and somehow vulnerable enough to feel approachable. Whitney didn’t know what she had, did she?
“Excuse me.” Jess’s voice was commanding. “How much for that dresser?”
“Three fifty, no delivery,” the gruff man with a thick New York accent replied.
“I have a truck and I only have two fifty. I’ll take it now and you won’t have to haul it back at the end of the day.” Jess offered him a charming smile.
“Your girlfriend seems pretty excited about it. Mid Mod is hot as hell right now.”
Jess didn’t take the time to correct him, and Skylar was keeping very quiet and well out of the uncomfortable back-and-forth. But the title of girlfriend made her shiver, and in a very nice way.
“We have no furniture right now and this will fit perf—”
“I don’t need your story, lady. I’ll do two seventy-five, no less.”
Jess smiled at the man sliding his eyes up and down Jess’s figure.
Skylar sort of wanted to punch him but forgot the thought when Jess dropped her arm around her shoulders instead. Skylar leaned against her, convincing herself that the role-play was all part of the flea market game.
“Sold. We’ll be right back with a cart.” Jess silently steered them both to the main aisle.
Skylar held her breath until they were out of earshot. “Very good, Jess. You should run your own business or something.” She hugged her and impulsively kissed her cheek. “Thank you!”
“You’re welcome. That was an easy one.” Jess grinned and gave a little shrug.
Skylar watched Jess walk a step ahead and she skimmed her fingertips over her lips. She forced herself to maintain the nonchalant look of one casual platonic friend out with another. Her incredible, smart, sexy friend. The one she couldn’t stop thinking about.
Skylar grabbed a cart and pushed it back to the booth, shaking off the cascading thoughts. They managed to get the surprisingly unwieldy dresser loaded onto the cart and then into the truck, but not without fits of so much laughter they had to stop to wipe the tears from their eyes.
On the way back to her place, Skylar watched Jess glance repeatedly in the rearview mirror at the precariously balanced piece wedged into the bed of Dino’s truck. She made the last turn near the crowded lake and braked to avoid a shaky boy on a bike trying to catch up to his father.
“The Lakeview Café is open. What do you say we leave it in the truck and go for brunch?”
At the suggestion, Skylar leaned forward and appraised the sunny patio overlooking the lake.
“Why aren’t you eight hundred pounds?” Skylar was amused and relatively certain she would have gone dumpster diving if that was what Jess wanted to do.
“Is that a yes?” She looked at her expectantly.
“Sure. But promise me we’ll walk the lake when we’re done.”
Jess lucked into a street spot and grabbed Skylar’s hand, pulling her across the busy street. Skylar willed her fingers not to press into her smooth skin. She lost the battle and allowed herself to relish the feeling for a moment before forcing herself to let go as they reached the restaurant door.
Jess ordered a black bean burger and Skylar picked a veggie garden on a bagel. Jess shoved two waters into Skylar’s hands and grabbed the bag after dropping change into the tip jar.
They settled against a wall at the front columns of the lakefront stone pergola and opened their lunch. Behind them, an organic ice cream vendor explained the features of her offerings to a family while a choral group sang church songs on the lawn and danced. She wondered why this felt sort of like a perfect Sunday.
“Thank you,” Skylar said. “This is wonderful.”
“Thank you for today. I needed this.” Jess spoke softly and picked off a small bite of her sandwich.
“You work too hard, Jess.” Skylar was serious and didn’t volunteer to move her leg so it would no longer touch Jess’s calf. The sensation felt just right.
“Sometimes at the wrong things.” She shook her head and pinched off another bit of her food.
“What were you going to tell me about Whitney this morning?” Skylar licked a tiny bit of cream cheese from the corner of her mouth.
Jess’s jaw tensed, and she took a drink from the water bottle they were sharing instead of opening the second. She stalled as if to assemble her thoughts.
“You don’t have to tell me.” Skylar winced when Jess seemed to hesitate.
“No, it’s not that. First, I want to apologize for any weird conversation you may have been forced into yesterday.”
Skylar felt lost for a moment until the memory of her conversation with Whitney reassembled. “Oh, you mean ‘running is a metaphor for life’?” Skylar smiled and nudged her when she winced.
“Yeah, that.” Jess shook her head and Skylar saw embarrassment flood her expression.
“No big deal. She just wants to make sure no one is coming after her woman.” She endeavored to keep her tone light when she saw how uncomfortable Jess had become. “Trust me, I understand.” Skylar reasoned that she might have done much the same if Jess was hers. She silently chastised herself for what had become a pattern of irresponsible thoughts and unwise utterances over the past few hours.
“I ended it last night.” Jess looked over the glassy surface of the lake and took another bite she appeared not to savor.
“Oh, no. Jess, because of that? It wasn’t an issue, I wasn’t upset by it.” She put her food down for a minute and touched her arm.
“No, not just that. Because of a lot of things. She showed some colors last night that weren’t pretty on her, but regardless, I just wasn’t feeling the same way she was, I don’t think. I know it was the right thing to do.”
“How did she take it?” Skylar pulled her cap off and smoothed her hair into a ponytail she secured with an elastic from her wrist. She distractedly rubbed at the line the cap had made on her forehead.
“The closer neighbors would say not well, but most of the Embarcadero was spared a full-volume rendition,” Jess answered wryly.
“Eek. I’m sorry. Are you all right?” She leaned toward her, genuinely concerned.
Jess squeezed her knee in acknowledgment and Skylar suddenly wanted any excuse to continue to touch her.
“Actually, yes. I feel lighter, you know. Sometimes you don’t mind heavy if all of it’s heavy. The feelings, the partnership, the desire. This was just claustrophobic, in a way.”
“Good for you. If it wasn’t right, then you did the right thing.” She forced herself not to celebrate the exorcising of a seemingly perfect girlfriend who’d been both possessive and rude. She mutely reasoned that she was simply concerned for Jess’s welfare.
“I’m sorry you got dragged in. I had no idea any of that was going on or I would have stopped it sooner.” Jess locked Skylar with an intense stare.
“Please don’t be. It was a little flattering to be considered competition by someone who looks like Whitney. We both know she could have anyone she wants. Hell, she got you.” Skylar mentally smacked herself in the head for being so frank.
“Skylar, I hope you know how beautiful you are.” Jess sat up straight and turned to look directly at her. “You say those things like the ugly stepsisters voted you out as the unfortunate one.”
Skylar laughed at the analogy and tried to cover the feeling that Jess’s attention was giving her. �
��You’re very kind. Thank you.”
When they’d finished, Jess stood and offered Skylar a hand up before collecting their trash and the unopened water. Skylar used Jess’s forearm to balance as she brushed crumbs from her jeans and pulled her shoes back on.
“I really meant everything I said.” Jess walked with Skylar to the trash can and stood at the water’s edge. “Do you ever think things just happen for a reason?”
“Of course they do, Jess. I believe I work for you for a reason. I tried three times to get my job, and it just wasn’t the right time before.” Skylar forced herself to offer only a business-related response. She saw a darkness descend over Jess’s face and wished she could touch her again, but she couldn’t find a platonic justification.
“Sometimes I wish we had met randomly.” Jess didn’t offer an explanation and briefly Skylar didn’t need one.
“I know. It would be easier to be friends, huh? If you weren’t my…”
“Boss, I know.” They stopped walking and Jess toed at moss growing along the bank.
Skylar was looking at her, and layers of emotions twisted erratically in her gut. Something felt heavy about this moment. Like maybe she wasn’t alone in this ill-conceived attraction. Was she willing to take that kind of risk? She’d like to think so, but the consequences could be devastating.
“I’m sorry.” Jess’s words were barely audible.
“For what?” Skylar reached out to stroke Jess’s arm. She watched Jess avoid her eyes and she could see the intense vulnerability she created with the touch.
“For this.” Jess cupped Skylar’s face and tilted her chin. The kiss was impulsive, but Skylar didn’t move away. She felt paralyzed in the most intoxicating way she could have ever imagined. She heard the blood rushing past her ears, and her pulse drummed so loudly she believed the entire park could hear it. She drank in every moment until she was sure that Jess would push away. She was stunned when she felt Jess’s hands skim around her back and hold her more tightly.
Jess finally broke the connection and seemed to assess the damage she had just done to their friendship, not to mention their working relationship.
“You’re supposed to wait to apologize until afterward,” Skylar said, a little out of breath but making no move to disengage her arms, which held Jess’s waist.
“I can do it again.” Jess whispered into the minuscule space between their mouths.
“Apologize or kiss me?” Skylar’s voice was quiet, but she didn’t step back.
“Which would you prefer?” Jess smiled.
Skylar moved her arms to circle Jess’s neck, and Jess briefly imagined the spectacle they were creating. She couldn’t bother to care when she felt Skylar’s body press against hers again.
“Are you okay?” Jess asked when she pulled back slightly. “Did I just step over a line you had no intention of ever crossing with me?”
“No. I just didn’t know that you would ever…really think of me like that.”
“I have since I met you.”
“But—”
“Please don’t say ‘but.’ Please don’t regret anything, not now.” Jess watched her face, flushed by the sun and the circumstances.
“Okay.” Skylar managed to say. “Dear God, you can kiss.”
“I want to do it for an hour or two.” Jess laced her fingers in Skylar’s hair and brushed a cheek against hers.
“We’ll be kicked out of the park, you know.” Skylar scanned the groups around them.
Jess wished they were somewhere private. “You’re probably right. We also have to move furniture, which seems like a very anticlimactic event right now.”
“I agree.” Skylar stood quietly looking into Jess’s eyes. “One more can’t hurt.”
Jess smiled as Skylar spoke and tried to forget the complications they were creating. “If you insist.” Jess bunched her fist in Skylar’s hair and held Skylar’s mouth firmly against hers.
Finally, Skylar broke free of Jess’s burning mouth and tilted against her. Jess rested her lips against Skylar’s temple and forced her breathing to slow.
“I guess we need to go move the truck.” Skylar’s voice was deep and lined with the sound of yearning.
“Yeah.” Jess’s arm fell around her shoulder like it had been there a thousand times before, and the ride to Skylar’s apartment felt heavy with the new desire burning between them. They didn’t say much as they hefted the long piece of furniture to the top of the stairs.
“You’re lucky I only live on the second floor.” Skylar seemed to test their new dynamic like palpating an injury to see which parts hurt. As if she needed to assess what areas could be uncomfortable between them now.
“Indeed.” Jess looked at her hungrily and realized she hadn’t noticed a single stair since they began.
“Don’t judge the mess in here, okay?” Skylar hesitated when she unlocked the door. “Your house is so beautiful.”
“Sky, open the door.” Jess couldn’t have cared less about the state or features of Skylar’s apartment. Her fingers burned to touch her again. Jess waited for Skylar to set her end against the hardwood floor before she shoved the last of the weight against the chosen wall.
“Thank you. It’s perfect.”
She had barely enough room to walk between the dresser and the bed, but that seemed okay to Skylar. She had reached down and twisted the comforter in her fingers as if waiting for Jess to speak.
“Sky, I…” She walked toward her.
“What happens tomorrow?” Skylar blurted out. She continued to pluck erratically at the fabric, and their playful banter took on a much more serious tone.
“Nothing that wouldn’t have happened before.” Jess watched her worry the bedding and stopped herself from walking closer to her. The last thing she wanted to do was push, even if the need to go to her was overwhelming.
“You’re my boss.” The statement carried baggage of epic breadth for both of them.
“I don’t care,” Jess said firmly.
“What if you feel differently tomorrow?” Her tone was heavy with fear, and she looked as if she regretted being quite so transparent.
“Sky, I can’t get you out of my head. I can’t be with anyone else without wishing it was you. I think about touching you every second, and I can’t stand it when a day has gone by without seeing you.” She stroked a hand over Skylar’s arm, leaving chills in her wake. Skylar closed her eyes when Jess stroked her thumb over her cheek. Jess tried to assimilate the words she’d never expected to exchange with Skylar.
“I don’t know how to do this. I need my job.” Her fear seemed almost as profound as her reaction to Jess.
“Sky, you have your job. You’re the best person I’ve ever had in that job. It’s separate.” Jess logically thought how it would be fairly impossible to make it completely separate, but she would do anything to make her words true. She knew couples who worked together without an issue, but she knew this was different, and certainly very different for Skylar.
“No one can know until we figure out what this is.” Skylar locked her eyes on Jess’s, almost pleading.
“Not from me.” She mimicked locking her lips with a key and tossing it theatrically over her shoulder, making Skylar laugh for the first time since they had touched one another.
“Are you all right?” Jess threaded her fingers through Skylar’s and hated the look of concern in her expression.
“You mean did I want this? To touch you? Did I wish you would kiss me?” Skylar’s words rushed out.
“Yes.” Jess held her breath for the answer.
“You have no idea how hard it was.”
“Us? Just now?” Jess was instantly concerned.
“No, before.”
“What do you mean?”
“Remember when I asked you to show me around the office after our last interview?”
“Yes.”
“Yolanda had taken me when I got there thirty minutes earlier and Kyle had shown me around right before
the interview. I didn’t need a tour.”
Jess smiled at the revelation.
“I just didn’t want to leave. And I can’t believe I’m telling you all this.” Skylar turned away from Jess and wound a thick strand of hair around her fingers. “Every dumb question I came up to ask you about invoices? I could have emailed you or, truth be told, answered myself.”
“You could have, but I’m happy you didn’t. If it makes you feel any better, you did a very good job hiding it.”
“I just wanted to be where you were, and I couldn’t explain it.” Her neck flushed, and she turned to hide her face in Jess’s chest.
“While we’re confessing…I have to admit I have never driven to the East Bay so many extra times in one week.”
“I feel guilty.” Skylar dropped the words like weights.
“What the hell for?” Jess sat on the bed and Skylar followed.
“This makes Whitney right.”
“No, it makes her a little perceptive. Either that or she shot a lot of darts at a large target and got lucky.” Jess studied Skylar as she spoke.
“Maybe. Maybe I did give her reason to worry.” Skylar shrugged and seemed to search for answers in Jess’s face. “What will you tell her?”
“Nothing. I doubt I’ll hear from her again. It was pretty final.”
“Oh.”
“Sky, take your time to really think about this. To see where you want this to go, if anywhere. To see what this is. I don’t want you to wake up tomorrow and think I did something wrong. I don’t want you seeing me out of some misplaced obligation or worry that you’re going to lose your job. If you decide it’s not right for you, we’ll still be fine.”
“Aren’t you going to think about it, too?”
“Are you kidding? I haven’t thought about anything else for weeks. I’ll probably repaint the house or something tonight since I won’t be sleeping.”
Skylar seemed to inventory her words before she spoke again. “I’m terrified of what could happen.”
Jess pulled against Skylar. “I’m terrified of not being able to do this again.”
Jess pressed her mouth hotly over Skylar’s. They kissed like one might die without the other. Jess thought the exquisite feel of Skylar’s body on hers was incapacitating. She took three hours to release her and force herself to make the drive across the bay.
